Misfits and Leftovers

GinSmokeLies · 2018-02-12T01:02:12+00:00

women who are not good at relationships (i.e. had been briefly married)

No offense but aren't you 2x divorced? What makes you think you're in a different league from these women?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-02-12T01:07:39+00:00

who do you think is single by late 30s-40s? i mean, how could you have possibly imagined it would be otherwise? did you think it would be dewy fresh, unspoiled well adjusted undamaged virgins single at 40?

PBRScagsquad · 2018-02-12T01:20:42+00:00

Yeah, they're your dating equals, try and make the most of it.

squidracer · 2018-02-12T01:26:29+00:00

I mean that's what you get when you wait too long. Doesn't matter if you're a man or woman, 35+ dating is a shitshow. All that's left are the never-marrieds (players and party girls, commitment issues) and the divorcées (aka other people's rejects).

Even if you're attractive enough to date younger (most aren't), you'd still have to date the type of younger woman who goes after older men (golddigger, daddy issues).

Dating is like musical chairs. You want the nice chair, you'd better plant your ass before the music stops.

SmeggingRight · 2018-02-12T01:31:35+00:00

The idea TRP espouses that middle age guys who maintain their value (i.e. stay fit and employed) will have an abundance of women to choose from seems illusory.

It is illusory. I watched a gaggle of women look through a dating site a few months back. A single aunty, my mother, a female family friend and my teenage sister. (Aunty and family friend are in their 30s. It was my aunty trying to find a man to date).

They didn't like the look of about 70% of the men in the 35-45 age range. Reactions were ugh, ick, yuck, no way, next, sickbag and are you kidding me?

RP is unrealistic in what it tells men. Doesn't matter if they keep their weight down and work out, men who didn't have good looking faces when they're 25 are not going to slay the ladies when they're 35 or 40 or 45. It just gets worse.

You said you were only out and about for two days meeting women so don't give up. Don't settle for a former party girl if you don't want that. Date if you want to, but don't settle for anyone.

goatismycopilot · 2018-02-12T11:13:02+00:00

Speaking as one of those misfits being divorced and old and apparently damaged I tried online dating and found it to be a hell no. Men my age with giant beer bellies expect a model, I have had men I went out on dates with lie about everything. Plus they were boring as fuck and talked about themselves the entire time. Anyway I realized online dating felt like a job. Yesterday I went to the gym, yoga, then met friends at a place in my city that has decent live music on the weekends. I do not miss dating at all. Some friend of a friend asked me out while we were watching the music. So I would rather embrace my inner cat lady and focus on enjoying my activities and friends.

squidracer · 2018-02-12T01:07:17+00:00

This is where I disagree with nearly everyone on this sub. Not all divorced women suck (there i said it).

Many of the ones I've dated and live next to (umc area) are better then girls i dated ten years ago (although older)

You may be in the wrong places. I've been there myself. When one thing doesn't work try something different

goatismycopilot · 2018-02-12T14:45:53+00:00

One other question if you are so great at relationships why did you burn through two marriages, you are slapping at women who are bad at relationships ( and maybe they were ) because they were briefly married. None of us get out of here alive maybe practice some humility.

zerobones · 2018-02-12T09:42:02+00:00

End of the day, not all 20-29 year old women wanna date a man who is 35+. So yeah, the older you get the smaller your pool regardless of what situation you are in.

The illusion comes from the fact that some guys can sort themselves out to a point where they do have more options at 35 than they did at 25 cause at 25 they was about as datable a brick and at 35 are genuinely good men.

The trick in the age bracket you specified is picking out the good ones, not everyone is what they seem and there are plenty ''former party girls'' or women who have been briefly married that do make good partners later in life due to learning from past experience.

SlimLovin · 2018-02-12T15:34:04+00:00

You're no better than these women. In fact, you're worse because you think you're better. You're a leftover, too. And a leftover that's already been put back in the fridge twice.

Willow-girl · 2018-02-12T12:10:51+00:00

I'm an average-looking woman. No kids. I don't like drama. Not into partying. I can hold down a job; I have my own money. Keep a clean house; like to cook, garden, decorate, do domestic girly stuff.

I'm 51 and haven't been single for more than a year at a stretch since age 18. Make of that what you will.

Priene · 2018-02-12T09:45:49+00:00

But you are two times divorced and you're back in the market. What makes you think you're of high value? Wouldn't a woman want to hold on to a good thing?

The idea TRP espouses that middle age guys who maintain their value (i.e. stay fit and employed) will have an abundance of women to choose from seems illusory.

Nah, that's just a fantasy redpillers tell themselves. Middle-aged men are invisble to women. The very few women who still look fuckable in their 30s are getting railed by 20 year old dick, and the rest are getting married to much older, rich men.

reluctantly_red · 2018-02-12T01:01:44+00:00

You have an abundance of women to choose from.

And they all have functioning pussies. And many of them are physically attractive.

Bam. You are middle aged. You maintained your value. You literally have an abundance of women to choose from. Was any of it a lie?

There's nothing wrong with using them for casual sex. And is it really using them if they consent too?

Starting a family with a wife and kids? It's a little late to think about that now, isn't it?

-AveMaria- · 2018-02-12T01:01:59+00:00

Well late 30s/40s men should be married. And thats ten times more true for late 30s/40s women.

The idea TRP espouses that middle age guys who maintain their value (i.e. stay fit and employed) will have an abundance of women to choose from seem illusory.

That was probably true in like.. 1950.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-02-12T01:46:33+00:00

What exactly is the theme of this post? You're disappointed in the quality of women in your age group?

I'm sorry to hear that. What exactly is it that you're looking for, and why haven't you found it already?

Uncommon_Sense_123 · 2018-02-12T01:20:50+00:00

Didn't you post a while back about a lady your were starting to have feelings for? What happened?

Getting so discouraged after two days, really? Give it some time.

squidracer · 2018-02-12T02:39:25+00:00

If you're single at 40 you're a left over.

Salty-Bastard · 2018-02-12T01:26:31+00:00

Middle aged men who maintain their maximum smv/rmv will have more choices than a man who hasn't maintained. The choices are diminished and uninspiring most of the time.

polyconfused38 · 2018-02-12T02:12:22+00:00

Anyone remember the first season of true detective when Harrelson browses the dating site? That was probably the most depressing on-screen thing I’ve ever seen.

Maikowski2 · 2018-02-12T06:14:49+00:00

Abundance only if you are in you 30s, not 40s. How a red doesn't know this?

CreeperInAMinecart · 2018-02-12T06:40:00+00:00

I have a different view than everyone here. It is not necessary leftovers for those who are 40+. There are plenty of shy women who never put themselves out there until it is too late. Also there are decent women who are unhappy in a relationship but left after their kids have grown up. Then there are women who their partner cheated on them or for whatever reasons. Also career driven women can fall into being single at late age as well. Of course, the chances are drastically lower but it is not as gloomy as it seems. I personally know a few single ladies in their late thirties and forties. Not one are leftovers as like the stereotypes. However, I do think it may have something to do with my social circle as I am the opposite of a party girl. Maybe a few hobbies or some traveling for some self development and keep yourself occupied, and perhaps you'll meet someone. I don't think places like the gym, bar or online are the right places as that's mostly where young people hook up - completely different from your age group. Sorry I don't know much about you other than reading comments on this thread and throwing out ideas. Good luck.

PowderedButtcheeks · 2018-02-12T14:34:01+00:00

I think you are being faced with yourself, young Padawan. Enjoy. Come for the women, stay for the self realization...if you dare.

couldbemage · 2018-02-12T01:12:40+00:00

Try dating girls in their twenties? That will certainly work great.

Whisper · 2018-02-12T15:36:18+00:00

Being older amplifies the signal on a man's attractiveness.

If a man is above a certain level of attractiveness, he becomes even more so as he ages. If he is below, he becomes even less so as he ages.

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aNationofTwo · 2018-02-12T01:11:40+00:00

Depends if you live in Southern California.

Entropy-7 · 2018-02-12T02:59:50+00:00

If you follow TRP then by the time you hit early to mid thirties you have the most abundance because you can date up or down in terms of age and even SES.

The Wall is a thing, but it doesn't affect all women the same. From age 33 and beyond however, the women have to be more and more exceptional vis-à-vis their peers in terms of looks and personality if you are keeping your standards at the high end of reasonable.

Single mothers with teenage+ kids and tied tubes usually have their shit together mentally and aren't looking for a provider. If the kid(s) still live at home then the rule should be that you never meet them. That creates a good plate, FB, dating dynamic if that is what you are looking for. If they are away in college or out on their own, mom might be more into a covivant type relationship.

I have only dated two women in their late 30s who had serious long term potential. Both were never married, slim, gorgeous, easy to get along with and fun to be with but they basically wanted a guy with a six-figure income to settle down with. It's a narrow market with high standards.

While there were a few other exceptions, since turning 40 my demographic has been between 26 and 33, generally a dozen or more years my junior. OP should consider making some changes to go after early 30s rather than late-30s and see how that turns out.

friendlylooking · 2018-02-12T03:14:48+00:00

Have you worked hard at searching? Have you made plans and taken deliberate actions to find an appropriate mate? Do you know what you want, and can you swiftly and easily describe it to women?

Example, "I want a woman who has a full time job and pays 1/2 the rent." or "I want a woman who works part time jobs, doesn't pay too much attention to her career, but plays with me a bunch of the time." Perhaps you want a woman who only dates you on weekends. Or you want a woman to live with you as soon as possible.

These mundane, unromantic categorizations aren't fun, but they make all the difference in the world. No woman will please you, if you don't know what you want. Even if you don't know what you want, if you don't communicate it effectively to her, you still won't get what you want, even if she's able to give it to you.

I think about in relationships in a practical way. How do these things actually work?

I missed out on the time period in my young twenties when romantic love came before practicalities, because I was intent on remaining single until I finished my education.

By the time I earned my PhD at 29, I was already too old. Thanks, red pill! ;-) I don't really blame the red pill philosophy. I blame the economy. Every man's first task is to get himself together. After that, then he might want a family. In bad economic times, men don't want to be married. It's too expensive.

LewisCross · 2018-02-12T22:05:23+00:00

I think a lot of it depends on where you live and what crowds you run with. In the Midwest, there are a lot of divorced women between ages 35 and 55, with kids. Some have been divorced twice or more. So it's mostly either (1) women who aren't good at relationships, as you said; or (2) women who aren't good at picking men for relationships. A smaller number are (3) women who get divorced and are too busy for relationships; and slightly more of (4) women who get divorced, don't want remarriage, and want to work/date/have sex/cougar/travel/whatever.

czerdec · 2018-02-13T15:31:05+00:00

Yup, that corresponds to much of my experience. People who literally aren't even worth the effort of pumping and dumping.

A transsexual would be better, probably: they have usually learned some elite throat skillz, if the stories are to be believed.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2018-02-12T01:06:10+00:00

Erm... TRP generally advises men to date down in terms of age, so I think that's the mistake you're making. Lots of women still have those unresolved daddy issues and men don't lose attractiveness as quickly with age (it happens but not as soon).

polyconfused38 · 2018-02-12T07:30:23+00:00

This might seem like funny advice, but maybe you should try ex-military spouses. They tend to marry on the young side and then divorce. I know three different attractive and nice women who fit this description and remarried -- one married my friend and is a couple years older than him but looks great and is hot, one was my friend from college and married a much better guy the second time than her douchey first husband, and one is someone I met recently who married an older guy after a failed too-young marriage to a military guy and a long stint of singledom in between. Something about this demographic seems good, maybe it's because they tend to have come from slightly more conservative backgrounds.

newName543456 · 2018-02-12T08:01:50+00:00

So get with younger ones. Simple.

LinksLight · 2018-02-12T01:16:24+00:00

TRP theory is that you date younger women, after learning their youth-charming ways.

daveofmars · 2018-02-12T02:25:52+00:00

TRP would suggest to date down to women in their late 20's. You might have better luck there.

Title	Misfits and Leftovers
Author	reluctantly_red
Upvotes	8
Comments	338
Date	February 12, 2018 12:57 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7wx2zc/misfits_and_leftovers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/misfits-and-leftovers.263629 https://theredarchive.com/post/263629

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