I'm going to have a nude sculpture of you in the living room even if you don't like it.

radfemmaf · 2021-07-11T02:28:37+00:00

I was reminded of that post on here awhile ago about a woman's bf who made posters of her nudes without her consent & hung them up in his living room & gaslit her saying she was "overreacting" when she told him to take them down. It's the same exact thing as what sculpture guy did. I was honestly shocked at all the comments going hard saying YTA. It doesn't matter if it's art, it's her damn body & displaying her body needs consent. Also the fact that all their family & friends have seen it right there in their living room! Everyone on reddit showing that they believe women are objects to be owned, not human beings in possession of themselves. Imagine if a man posted this being done to him against his will, they'd never blame him

Ambitious_Cup5774 · 2021-07-11T02:20:06+00:00

Selling the piece is performance art; a study of a queen asserting her boundaries and preferences while her LVM tries to manipulate her out of them. Bravo.

So many incredibly shitty and abusive men have hidden behind the "its art" excuse for too long. The time for accountability is now.

wayward_amazon · 2021-07-11T00:37:58+00:00

If I was her I'd take the damn thing to a high place and drop it. If I could make it fall on his car and smash it, even better.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-07-11T00:25:12+00:00

Everyone is commenting on the post that she was inconsiderate to sell it because it was a gift. This is exactly backwards; it is because the sculpture was supposed to be a gift to her that his behavior is inexcusable. She has been trying to regain control of where her own gift (displaying her own image) is being used, and he’s not listening.

When you give someone a gift, it leaves your control and enters theirs. Strange for some people to comprehend, I know. People have the right to sell their own property if it is causing them distress. OP sounds like she used to get enjoyment out of the sculpture—her husband should have been happy they enjoyed it in the past and allowed her to move on.

kaoutanu · 2021-07-11T02:12:25+00:00

So he ignored her feelings and requests for years, then packs a sulk when she gives up and ignores his?

She should just tell him "That's art. Don't be ashamed!"

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-07-11T02:18:04+00:00

I’m an artist (illustration). Pretty sure if a drew a giant picture of my husband’s cock without his permission and displayed it in our home, he’d have a fucking problem.

Also interesting: her mother jumped straight to “abusive narcissist”. Most people wouldn’t use a term this harsh unless this wasn’t the first rodeo. I’m betting mama has heard about lots of previous fucked up things her daughters husband has done.

Sheravenous · 2021-07-11T02:48:15+00:00

People are sick! The comments don't seem to acknowledge that it was a sculpture of HER and that SHE isn't comfortable. I bet they'd be more sympathetic if it were a man saying that his wife insists on keeping something in the home that makes him feel badly about hos own body.

I find it hard to believe the husband doesn't know that having a nude statue of herself when she was fitter would cause her distress about her current looks.

Plus, in the living room??? Maybe, just maybe she doesn't want every person who comes to their home to see her nude?

In my opinion, the statue served several purposes:

1.Stating his perceived ownership of her body (it is now something that he literally created)

2.Bragging about how hot his wife is (was) with visual proof to boot!

3.Pressuring the wife to maintain her pre-pregnancy and injury body by making sure she is constantly reminded of how she used to look when he was most attracted to her.

4.A reminder that his wants and needs will always be more important than hers.

And there's something about the statue being life-sized that pushes this from bizarre to alarming. Wouldn't be surprised if he jerked off near or on it more than once.

Winnie6 · 2021-07-11T03:46:26+00:00

Reminds me of that saying" the only way a woman can get into the MET is nude." You have to ask yourself why men say this about the female form. Why are we we so often reduced to just our physical forms? And if it's all about beauty and nature then why is breastfeeding disgusting?

mamadgaf · 2021-07-11T00:21:12+00:00

Also she seriously needs a new therapist.

honeybadgerattitude · 2021-07-11T02:04:19+00:00

I can’t get over this. I’m so outraged on her behalf. The devil is in the details on this and adding them up shows how shocking it really is. 1. He surprised her with it. He just never bothered asking if she wanted a naked sculpture of herself. Like the public proposal, it was probably a shock when she received it and was manipulated into accepting it by him and others telling her how “lucky” she was that a man would put all that time and creepy effort into something like that. 2. It’s LIFE-SIZED!! All that time stood in her living room as a giant reminder of what she used to look like and there for everyone to see. Her mother must have visited and seen it!! Her grandma? Pervy old uncle Tony probably took sly photos of it on his phone. And any other LVM that visited the house. Talk about a trophy wife!! For god’s sake!! He’s literally showing off to other men what he’s got. I’m surprised he also doesn’t have a (larger than life-sized!) sculpture of his own penis. 3. She begged him for years to be allowed to do what she wanted with her own gift of her own body. She had full ownership. She could have sold it to an art gallery if SHE wanted. 4. He FORCED her to display it in front of their own children. Just. WTAF? It’s fine to show kids normal bodies but having that thing there constantly is only going to be damaging! Dad crows about how attractive she WAS and what happens when he/she finds a teenage son using his mother for inspiration. 🤮 Then for daughters getting an eating disorder to try and look like mom and dad’s obvious idea of what a perfect woman looks that he’s imprinted onto her by having it there like a standard. (I won’t do the vomiting emoji again) 5. He has the cheek to act sulky when she gets rid of it in the only way she can. It just proves exactly how little he feels about her as a person. But he could replace it by making a new sculpture just of her vulva and then display it on a pedestal in the living room. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Personally I’d just put the goddamn husband on Craigslist.

ApprehensiveGiftBox · 2021-07-11T04:13:45+00:00

He had to do it nude. He couldn't scuplt her in a beautiful dress or something? I would be MORTIFIED to have my nude body on display in my LIVING ROOM!

suncolor · 2021-07-11T03:58:48+00:00

The truly bizarre thing to me is that people would have a life size nude sculpture of someone in the household in the living room. I was picturing going over to a friend’s house and seeing a life-size nude sculpture of them… that would be so awkward to me. Some people really out here living completely different lives.

Platipus6 · 2021-07-11T00:26:48+00:00

He's strange and lethargic since it's gone? WIIILD. This is exactly what Patricia Evans describes in 'Controlling People'. He created the statue. He's in love/lust with the statue. He's immortalized his dream girl and reinforces his fantasy every time he looks at it. He's overlaid it on his wife to obscure how she really is now.

Statue gone, he can't keep the fantasy going. He doesn't even like his actual wife, doesn't appreciate how she's changed and what she's gone through giving him children. "When I try to talk he just brushes ME off because actual woman isn't supposed to talk, statue is silent, statue is perfect and sexy".

The mother is right.

SeaNegotiation8 · 2021-07-11T02:44:54+00:00

This really reminds me of the post where a very young OP sent nudes to her much older boyfriend, and he had them made into huge blowup portraits that hung in his living room for his friends to see.

Her husband let his friends and family see nude images/representations of his wife without her consent. Not fucking cool.

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-07-11T06:10:15+00:00

To me this has nothing to do with ‘boundaries’ or ‘the art’ or ‘Pygmalion’ whatever cringey faux-deep philosophical psychological artsy fuck reason people come up with…

It has to do with pain and discomfort. He’s been ignoring how this triggers her and makes her uncomfortable FOR YEARS.

If your partner doesn’t care about your happiness and your peace of mind.. what’s the difference between him and a stranger on the street??

GreatOrchidAmbition · 2021-07-11T04:32:58+00:00

"my mom thinks he's an abusive narcissist" -- sounds like he's an ABUSIVE NARC THEN

Reception_Queasy · 2021-07-11T00:14:52+00:00

This one hit too close. My dad did painting as a part time hobby and he's very good at it. He's done some nude oil paints of my mum that I found when one of the storage rooms. I asked my dad about it because I didn't know it was my mum, he used to have them in the bedroom but they replaced it a year after I was born because the paintings made my mum uncomfortable. I've had dates with artists and they've been very respectful about these things. I don't want to imagine the amount of stress this lady went through only for people to tell her she's the one who's bad.

Edit: idk the people who said that she's in the wrong but it doesn't make sense to me. They are comparing the situation to some movie I think.

miwamus · 2021-07-11T03:06:32+00:00

I once made a sculpture of my (now) ex’s dick.

First, I’d never put it on display. Second, if he told me to rid of it then I’d rid of it.

It’s not that hard.

thatshadywitch · 2021-07-11T09:46:24+00:00

The thing that enraged me the most is the therapist's comment. I have a friend whose therapist is like that, she always justified my friend's ex boyfriend's low value behaviour and his gaslighting, basically saying that my friend was the problem and she needed to LeArN tO cOmMuNiCaTe. I'm honestly done, women are not crazy, stop invalidating our emotions!

Repulsive-Ad1092 · 2021-07-11T19:24:29+00:00

This is disgusting. Her therapist and the redditors in there are fucking pos

tactical_viper · 2021-07-11T19:07:16+00:00

I’m an artist and this is freaking gross. The least he could’ve done was thrown a dress on it when other people came around, but NOPE. women’s bodies truly don’t belong to them. I wouldn’t have been so kind, I would’ve grabbed him by the scruff and made him watch while I took a sledgehammer to it.

throwaway23er56uz · 2021-07-11T07:29:34+00:00

He gave it to her, at which point it became hers and she could do with it whatever she wanted. Sell it, smash it, throw it away, whatever.

He probably wanted it around so she'd feel bad about how her body had changed.

kerean1997 · 2021-07-11T08:01:14+00:00

If ANYONE, not just a man, ANYONE gifted me a sculpture of my naked body, I'd instantly assume it's negging. Also it's just plain fucking weird. Give me some roses instead or if you really want to go the creative route, then make actual original art, not an imitation of my body.

curlywurlyprincess · 2021-07-11T00:15:36+00:00

wait, the sculpture was around for like 10 years and now she is concerned about the impact it may have on her kids? Am I missing something?

MadameDestruction · 2021-07-12T00:04:40+00:00

After ignoring her boundaries to blatantly refusing to respect her boundaries, to the point where his wife is feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious in her own home, he should be happy it was only the sculpture of his wife that was gone and not the one of flesh and bone.

sheokay · 2021-07-11T17:32:17+00:00

Did it occur to anyone in that household to put the statue in the basement under a sheet? That way the wife wouldn’t have had to deal with it staring her in the face and he could still keep his art. Of course, it doesn’t sound like the husband would have gone along with that but it threw me that she doesn’t mention this at all.

Also, her therapist is so obviously a man.

excusemeILY · 2021-07-11T07:42:11+00:00

Yeah, I don’t know about this one…

paperwasp3 · 2021-07-11T10:44:22+00:00

It was a problematic gift in the first place, but putting it in the LR is a bit much, don’t you think? However, selling it while he was away was underhanded and perhaps brutal honesty would have been a better and more forthright way to deal with it.

Title	I'm going to have a nude sculpture of you in the living room even if you don't like it.
Author	Reception_Queasy
Upvotes	270
Comments	90
Date	July 11, 2021 12:11 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ohu1o6/im_going_to_have_a_nude_sculpture_of_you_in_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-going-to-have-a-nude-sculpture-of-you-in-the.791307 https://theredarchive.com/post/791307

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