Childfree POV

Hey ladies,

I come to you with more of an enquiry or discussion prompt. Something I see a lot on this sub is how the 50/50 conversation is dismantled by relying on the fact that women experience pregnancy and childbirth.

Pregnancy and childbirth is held as one of our “powers” over men and why we are the table, rather than having to bring things to the table. More than that, it feels like this topic specifically is being used as a reason for why men need to contribute X, Y and Z and also as a justification for our high standards.

For the women that these posts and rhetoric applies to, it is SUPER VALID. Pregnancy and childbirth is a HUGE, ungodly amount of taxing sacrifice and responsibility in so many ways.

I don’t want these kinds of posts to stop and I don’t want to infiltrate them. My fellow sisters who want children are brave and hardworking. I simply want for there to be more discussions about why we deserve certain treatment and respect without the reason being “because we will experience pregnancy and childbirth and the man never will.”

When things like this are said, it makes me feel confused and unworthy because I am childfree.

A lot of the time, pregnancy and childbirth is used to explain why we should uphold our standards and not give as much as we take.

“Men will never be able to do such things so we need to demand that they compensate in other ways in the relationship.”

This is true!

But— and I’m not just saying this because I’m childfree— I think there is a certain harm to these posts. At least for women like me. They make me feel that because I’m not providing children and enduring the horrors and risks of childbirth and pregnancy, I don’t deserve to ask for certain treatment or have my strict standards be met. They also make me feel though, that even women who aren’t childfree are being told to rely on their biological capabilities as reason for HV treatment, and that perhaps even they may feel that if it weren’t for them planning on having children, they wouldn’t have worth.

Logically, I know that there are other things about me and other women that make us worthy and there are other risks I take that warrant my standards being met. But it’s easy to forget that when a common train of thought is “we expect X, Y and Z from a man (solely) because we are the ones going through pregnancy and childbirth.”

I really hope this isn’t coming off as anything negative. I love my FDS mothers and FDS-want-to-be-mothers. And like I said, enduring pregnancy and birth IS reason to expect more from a man.

I just need some FDS advice that is tailored to a childfree woman who is worried that without becoming a mother, I am still worthy of HV treatment.

EDIT: In case I wasn’t clear enough, I already said that women take on risks that warrant high standards. That includes reproductive risks. I am trying to raise the fact that sometimes with a few certain posts and comments, it feels like as women, we are being reduced to our uteruses and told that our childbirthing capabilities are the only reasons we deserve HV treatment. And I am asking for more advice that does not focus on this aspect of our womanhood. I’m sorry if I was confusing or didn’t articulate well enough, this is a really important topic to me so high emotions and all.