Being “creepy” is an inevitable part of young men learning to speak to women they’re interested in. Young men shouldn’t allow women who’ve never had to be the pursuer shame them for trying and not being perfect at it on their first tries.

Daddie0 · 2019-01-03T21:33:39+00:00

Get used to it, it never fucking changes.

My wife's friend has daughters whom I get along great with. I happened to mention to my wife how the one daughter, who is an adult, I liked how she did something with her particular eye makeup the last time we saw her.

This past weekend my wife mentions it to her at a party in front of everyone. Then has to put the disclaimer on the end that it was a compliment in a non creepy way coming from me. So just by saying how I liked how she did something with her eye makeup turns me into a creep that needs a disclaimer from another women, my wife, to give me the get out jail card and pass go?

But my wife? She can make comments and jokes to the other daughters boyfriend later the same night. Sniff his neck, clothing and tell him he always smells so good.

I gave another young female family friend that same complement a few weeks ago. Said "Wow, you smell good, what are you wearing?" as she came up to me and gave me a hug. My wife shot me a look like I was being creepy.

I'm in my late 40's and if I think a 20 something year old women is attractive, or give them a compliment, I'm a "creepy", dirty old man.

Women in their late 40's can basically say and do whatever they hell they want to a 20 something year old man and it's acceptable.

Women young and old pull the same shit.

artery_dissection · 2019-01-03T22:49:17+00:00

Attractive male flirting = Flattering

Unattractive male flirting = Sexual predator

unknownhorrorwriter · 2019-01-03T22:22:52+00:00

This all day, and I’m honestly stunned by people who disagree. What the fuck do women expect when they’re the pursuer/aggressor approximately 0.01% of the time? They have no fucking clue how tough it is for men to make magical pick-up lines or whatever other knight-in-shining-armor bullshit they expect. If the gender roles are reversed, how would the non-model-looking women feel having to make the first move and approach/flirt with men? Of course, they’re gonna come off weird as shit the vast majority of the time, especially if the motherfucking guy ain’t attracted to her.

Same thing with on-line dating. Women CANNOT FATHOM the desperation men have on these apps. Not because men are hornier or creepier, but because we want attention. We want to feel attractive as well. The ugliest woman in the world can make a profile and get insta-matched by way hotter guys. Meanwhile, decent looking/non-model guys will get 1 match approximately every week. If women went through that sheer desperation and despair, you bet your ass they’d be sending unsolicited nudes, trolling, cyber harassment, etc. Hell, most of the same women who bitch about that shit upload boob and ass shots for profile pics for attention anyway, and they don’t even have to.

Source: A jaded, formerly single young man.

NotADoctorFremulon · 2019-01-03T23:56:02+00:00

I was such an awkward fuck when I was young because I didn’t have a father growing up. The only advice I got from my mother about girls was “You are too young to talk to girls”. I remember when I was 15, there was this girl I was crazy about. She was gorgeous (actually became a model later, though not a famous one), and I had no clue how to approach her and had never even been introduced to or talked with her before. Like some crazy fuckhead I just walked up to her in between classes while she was getting her books out, and I said “Hi. You’re April right. I like you. Would you like to be my girlfriend.” I got the biggest eye roll from her and she didn’t even respond to me.

I felt like a total idiot (which I of course was) and I was absolutely devastated. Word spread pretty quickly among our circle and I remember going to basketball practice later and this one guy walked up to me and said “Did you ask April XXX to be your girlfriend.” And I was so nervous and worried I was about to be made fun up (though this guy was a friend and was always cool with me), and I said (reluctantly) “Yeah.”

And he and the other guys were like “You’re the fucking man.” “You got some balls.” “I’d never have the courage to ask her out.” And a bunch of the guys went on about how they all wanted to date her but nobody had the courage to even talk to her.

So yeah… I was a total fuck up and loser, but I at least had the courage to express myself, even if I didn’t know how to do it properly. And that is the thing that women don’t realize: it takes courage to open your feelings up to somebody, because being laughed at and mocked is one of the worst feelings in the world. And it is one that every guy has to get over if he doesn’t want to be alone. Those guys were celebrating the effort even though it was a failed attempt because they knew what went into even asking the question.

goat_nebula · 2019-01-03T22:15:35+00:00

In a way, managing that fear and overcoming rejection as a young man has made me an excellent salesman in my career today.

l339 · 2019-01-03T22:21:56+00:00

America is a very anti-male, heterophobic culture.

It's also a culture where female sexual predators effectively get a free pass legally and socially, even if their victims are minors.

These attitudes are ingrained in our society/culture. In today's social environment (metoo, etc.), it's better for a man to be cautious when dealing with women of any age.

perplexedm · 2019-01-03T20:30:48+00:00

u-UnqualifiedPilot

Young men get so much shit for being “creepy”. People give them disingenuous “advice” in saying things like “talk to her like she’s a human” as if that’s at all helpful or valuable. It’s nothing more than a snarky presupposition that the young man is somehow defective for not naturally knowing how to perfectly charm someone.

What’s worse is that a lot of this terrible treatment comes from people who have never themselves been in the position of having to charm or pursue anyone. Sometimes I think women really have no idea at all how hard it can be when you’re first figuring it out.

Especially when we have more and more boys growing up without any father figure to help guide them.

The reality is that for lots of women, the dating game is the waiting game while for men, it’s a challenge of learning to be a good conversationalist and picking up on subtle social cues and hints, while also being humorous and witty. It’s difficult. It’s a skill. It’s a skill very few are born with naturally and most of us have to cultivate.

The majority of the time men are the initiators or pursuers in romantic relationships so we are the ones who need to have that skill. The young men who are earnestly trying to be respectful, yet charming and failing are ridiculed for being “creepy” and I think that’s incredibly shitty of people to do.

Speaking as a guy in my mid 20s who grew up without a father or father figure, you literally have no clue what to do outside what you’ve seen in media. Was that my fault? Was I supposed to magically just know one day? Fuck that. It’s a skill as much as being a salesman is a skill.

Failure is a necessary part of learning. I sat paralyzed for years because I was scared of being labeled a creep, but after a while I realized that if I don’t go out and risk being “creepy”, I’ll be alone and unfulfilled.

So fuck it. If in the process of sharpening these skills, I make some girls feel uncomfortable or creeped out, oh the fuck well. Their cross to bear. My only job is to learn from those interactions.

I think we say shitty things like calling young men creeps and telling them “tAlK tO hEr LiKe ShE’s HuMaN” because e don’t want to admit just how difficult it is to learn to be charming.

The real answer is “keep fucking up, but learn from your missteps. Suffer through all the failure and if you’re lucky, you’ll get to about a 35%-40% success rate.”

The only men who are natural at this or at least seem to be natural at it are the guys born with especially good looks, or the “natural athletes” of charm. Just like there’ll be guys like Aaron Rodgers who are just born equipped to be great quarterbacks, there will be a number of guys just born naturally predisposed to being charming.

Edit: To any young guys reading this, if you’re not invading personal space or sexually harassing or doing shit like picking out kid names after 3 days, just keep on trying. Trial and error is THE ONLY WAY. If you let these women and white knights shame you into self isolation, you’ll be alone and miserable. You have to keep trying and keep learning. You’re not a creep. You’re not a monster. You’re just a guy trying to learn a skill. Don’t give up because people shame you for something you aren’t even doing.

identify the kind of woman you’re attracted to and then take steps to be attractive to that type of woman. That’s it. Don’t give up because sanctimonious assholes and women who’ve never been in your shoes want you to. I’m done with this thread and account. Won’t be responding anymore. But I just want you all to know that you shouldn’t give up because assholes want you to. Become your best self, and keep trying. Good luck.

I was once fat and lonely and had poor hygiene and didn’t know how to talk to women. I kept trying and kept trying and I lost 154lbs I got a better wardrobe I have a career I love I have dates whenever I want them, for the most part. I enjoy life now. I was close to suicide before because I let society shame me into cornering myself off because I was so scared of making a woman slightly uncomfortable. I decided to go after the life I wanted and I’m happy now. You can be too.

Greg_W_Allan · 2019-01-04T01:40:45+00:00

When only men are expected to initiate it's only men who can get it wrong.

Re3ck6le0ss · 2019-01-04T01:26:05+00:00

When I was on Tinder womens profiles almost always said "if you message me only saying 'Hey' I won't reply" But when I had Bumble, I never got a message longer than "Hey"

Siganid · 2019-01-04T03:00:30+00:00

One of the funniest parts of this modern life has been the subtle change in single women post 40. They now have no pull, and they have to learn how to pursue.

Go to a cougar bar, at least once. It's like they are all awkward teenagers again.

J03SChm03OG · 2019-01-03T22:55:25+00:00

Rules for not being creepy to women

Be good looking
Have money
Don't be ugly
Don't be poor

Raybe88 · 2019-01-03T22:58:09+00:00

Hey I've met some creepy women, they can be disgusting. Just sayin'

2019-01-04T07:59:43+00:00

Copy pasting my comment I posted there:

Advice I find even more appalling other than "talk to her like a human" is "just be yourself". Uh yeah.. that's exactly what you don't want from the get go. You do not want me to fart and talk about my interests they way I talk to my best friend about them. You want me to sell you prince charming. Those things that are funny and wholesome 3 years into a relationship aren't the same things that are funny and wholesome on a first date or even the first conversation.

It’s a skill as much as being a salesman is a skill.

It actually is the exact same skill even. You're selling yourself.

You introduce yourself, you charmingly speak as if you're out for genuine conversation, you hook them and sell the product (you). Except in this case you want genuine discussion too.. The execution is just basically the same.

Shouia · 2019-01-03T22:13:18+00:00

I wonder where the line between akward and creepy is in this. Also... I am a little lost on the "talk to her like she is a normal person isn't useful advice" thing. I get that it doesn't help much in a practical sense, but what makes it such terrible advice? Sorry, I'm a little dense.

jonnyhaldane · 2019-01-06T00:53:34+00:00

If we listened to women's advice on when/how it's ok to approach women, we would never be able to do it.

The only way to guarantee you never accidentally make a woman feel uncomfortable/awkward it is to never approach a woman.

I was arguing about this in a thread last night and a person gave me this 'checklist' to look at before approaching a woman:

It's easy. Approach her if the following conditions are true:

She is not running errands

She doesn't have earbuds in

She is not commuting

She is not at work

She's at least half your age plus seven

She's not related to you

She is not reading or engrossed in an activity requiring focus

She is not at the gym or out jogging

You are taller than her and attractive

You are not cornering her where she cannot get away

She is not working

She's not out celebrating with her friends

She's not with her bf/fiance/husband/gf/wife/partner/child(ren)

She is not drunk

She is not in a hurry

She's not crying or distressed

She's not talking on the phone

You haven't been seen trying to approach anyone else already

One of her friends hasn't already secretly claimed you.

She wants to be approached - this one is important as it can cancel the others.

It's easy guys!! All you need to do is find those girls who hang out completely alone for fun, and who don't do anything except stare into space. Oh, and you need to be psychic.

Th30r14n · 2019-01-04T07:25:56+00:00

Rejection is also inevitable. Get over it, learn from it.

DharmaLeader · 2019-01-04T09:41:13+00:00

Why is having a father figure so important in these conversations? I've read a lot of comments in both subs and I see a lot of people saying that lacking a father figure led to them being awkward, but no comment I read was saying "Thanks to my Dad, I learned how to go out with anyone I wanted". I think the ones missing a father figure attribute their behaviour there, while it's mostly insignificant.

rationalthought314 · 2019-01-04T09:52:37+00:00

In the media the creeps are the jerks who make inappropriate comments that are obviously creepy. Often in real life shy guys get labeled as creeps because they are awkward in their approach and many girls lack empathy or a desire to be noticed by someone they see as beneath them. However, some of them will use this to show they are desirable to the guys they want to pursue them or to complain with the girls about being "stalked." The worse is when they turn other people against the shy guy in order to garner sympathy points.

Throwaway_Old_Guy · 2019-01-03T22:23:48+00:00

Creepy has so many definitions, each determined by the person (or others around them), that assumes they are being creeped. I believe the title of "CREEP" is more often bestowed upon boys than girls because it's mostly girls that decide who is a creep and who isn't.

Sometimes, it truly is creepy behaviour. I'd be willing to guess that the majority of times, it can be attributed to other factors that may start off with appearance.

Social awkwardness from either upbringing or being on the Autistic spectrum can be misconstrued.

Being poor, and not dressing to the latest "standards" can be deemed sufficient reason.

The new kid can go either way in a hurry, whether it be in school or work.

There may not even be a reason. It's possible you happened to be the unfortunate soul that stepped into their line of sight at that moment.

My advice would be to not bother trying to escape the label since any effort will be labeled as proof you deserved it in the first place.

Go about your life honestly, learn to like and love yourself for the good you do, and seek to find the root of evil within (we all have some) so you know how to keep it in check. Be happy in yourself.

fengpi · 2019-01-04T09:55:09+00:00

Exactly. There are ways to be genuinely creepy. It is possible to stalk people, to actually harrass them, etc.

That is irrelevant to probably at least 90% of people who are called "creepy". It's just (mostly) guys trying to court women and just not being very good at it. Trust me, even with good looks, confidence, and experience, it's not easy. You can't blame a teenager for getting it wrong.

So long as you're not touching the person inappropriately or following them to their house without permission, or something like that, which you most certainly aren't, you're not creepy.

VoxVirilis · 2019-01-04T19:23:16+00:00

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

In the dating "arena" women are the critics and men are the "doer of deeds".

perplexedm · 2019-01-05T11:39:33+00:00

Just to say that after cross-posting this, I had to leave for some work, so couldn't followup properly with responses. Whatever feed back, mostly positive which is great to see, should to thank u/UnqualifiedPilot for this opinion, outlook and idea. I hope he won't mind I cross posted this here.

Also, sincere thanks to the person who gilded this.

Mackowatosc · 2019-01-03T23:36:41+00:00

Young men should be encouraged to not chase women at all. It could be a life or death matter for them.

porkopolis · 2019-01-04T01:32:34+00:00

we also call women "crazy" give and take

Shakazulu94 · 2019-01-04T02:11:06+00:00

but then how do other men do it without being creepy with the same amount of experience?

fengpi · 2019-01-03T23:02:47+00:00

I once recall talking to one stripper-- she was the dirtiest piece of drug-zonked garbage I've ever seen. Seriously, I felt the need to put-on a Level IV biohazard suit just sitting next to her. I wouldn't have fucked her with a borrowed dick on the end of a 10-foot pole; she was like a Voltron made of gross. She was such an extreme trainwreck that I found her skin-crawling disgustingness to have been morbidly amusing. I was only talking to her at all because I found her unadulterated scumminess to be forehead-slappingly hilarious; her sheer litany of bad decisions and filthiness entertained me in a rather dark way. I spent a part of the time trying to convince her to go to an adult education program and finish her high school degree, to no avail. She didn't see the point of doing that.

Me, I was dressed business/casual, having come from my job teaching university classes. And the whole time, I was treating her with a great deal of courtesy, as if I thought she was brilliant. The stupid shit which fell out of her mouth was astonishing sometimes.

At any rate, part of our conversation went like this:

Me: So when you go out somewhere with a man, what do you like to do?

Her: I dunno, what do you do?

Me: You don't know what you like? Seriously, go ahead.

Her: I dunno, what do you like?

Me: Well, okay, if I'm taking a woman out... I might like to take her to lunch-

Her: Oh my god, that's creeeepy. (shudders)

Me: What, lunch?

Her: Yeah, that's cuh-reeeepyyyy.

Me: .... uh, people eat lunch? What? I think that's pretty innocent. How is that creepy? Seriously, you don't eat lunch?

Her: It's cuh-reeeepyyyy...

Me: People eat lunch? Going to lunch with someone? How is that creepy? Explain this to me.

Her: Yeah but like... if a guy asks me to lunch... it means he might wanna have SEX with me! Eeeyew! And that's cuh-reeeeepyyyy....

Me: BUT YOU'RE THE GROSSEST FUCKING TWO-BIT STRIPPER ON EARTH!! If I gave you five bucks, you'd show me your anus! That's NOT creepy?!!?

(I didn't say that last part but you get the idea.)

Sorry, if having lunch is too creepy for a crack whore wannabe, the word "creepy" means nothing.

An hour later, some ex-boyfriend of hers walked in and those two geniuses got into a goddamned fistfight. At least he didn't do anything "creepy," like take her to lunch.

cgrams1 · 2019-01-04T01:25:52+00:00

It's ironic. Guys who have worked out how not to be creepy are the guys that women are embarrassed to have slept with. In other words: no one wants to be 1 of 100 conquests and we all want to be special. You would be special if you spent time with a great but initially awkward guy. You're not special if you spend time with the guy who can easily talk with women.

I have no time for women that say "they can't find a great guy." You don't have to; great guys are finding you. You just don't want to put in the effort to help them show you their best selves. Then when an awkward guy has worked on his social skills to the point that said woman would like them... the now not-awkward-man has probably passed you in social value and can do better. I mean--obviously he could do better. By definition he has a desire to improve himself through hard work and the woman doesn't.

Women often turn their full attention to dieting, working out and buying new clothes to improve their love life; that is easy. Which is why they do it. It's getting on stage in life and failing over and over until you don't that is hard. That takes courage.

Soldier on young men. You can do it. The rewards will wait patiently for you!

Altaroa · 2019-01-04T01:31:22+00:00

Female here. Just wanted to say I feel for you all. I grew up in a normal place on the east coast, then moved to Berkeley, CA. I’m bi. Failed so terribly at hitting on girls in that place. The laws are crazy, you have to ask before you kiss someone, etc. It’s pretty hard to be charismatic/smooth when you have some fucking checklist running thru the back of your mind. Feminism is cancer

Hamplural · 2019-01-04T00:12:12+00:00

No, it's not. If someone tells you you're being creepy, try to think of why. Were you in their personal space? Talking about weird subjects? Commenting on their body? Following them? Staring at them?

BBQ_HaX0r · 2019-01-03T23:38:25+00:00

Isn't being called "creepy" helping establish acceptable standards for establishing successful/unsuccessful attempts? Like if you come off as creepy or whatever shouldn't you be called on it so you know what not to do next time? Isn't that how you learn what is and isn't acceptable?

hmmorly · 2019-01-04T05:34:58+00:00

Yeah but it's all just a part of growing up. Eventually that one encounter becomes a life lesson. You learn from it, move on, and cringe in the shower while you think back from years ago..

xNOM · 2019-01-04T07:57:04+00:00

Speaking of women who have never had to be the pursuer:

Students who went on a blind date for their campus newspaper go viral with their VERY different interpretations of the outing - after she was horrified by him calling feminists 'toxic s****'

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6553761/Newcastle-University-student-disaster-date-goes-viral-calls-feminism-toxic.html

2019-01-04T12:09:45+00:00

Great post. I'm 48. I never once asked out a woman, only dated three and the third is my wife. I had no clue how to approach females and going to an all boys' secondary school (UK 12-16) made that so much worse.

I can't tell you how much sympathy I have for you guys. It is truly shitty. All I can say is be, and have respect for yourself. Don't allow yourself to act or appear desperate-all my worst mistakes with women stemmed from acts of desperation.

2019-01-04T00:08:46+00:00

And of course it's removed.

J2501 · 2019-01-04T02:07:52+00:00

If you ask me, the world is a creepy place, and the people who are allowed to exist in this bubble that enables them to pretend it isn't are quite privileged. When women complain that someone is 'creepy', what they are really complaining about is that their little echo chamber of privilege is being compromised by reality.

Planner_Hammish · 2019-01-04T06:52:14+00:00

To me "creepy" just means "I'm not attracted to you (right now)". Helps you frame it.

2019-01-04T10:31:37+00:00

Only the top 5% of attractive men with lots of money eager to hand it to the average, overweight woman need apply.

I wish I was making this up,but that's where we're at now.

backdoorinvestor · 2019-01-04T00:06:16+00:00

Sad that this is an unpopular opinion. It feels like you are in the movie, Space Balls... surrounded by assholes.

TruthGetsBanned · 2019-01-04T01:37:40+00:00

The rest has to do with whether or not she's attracted to you.

Yes? Romantic.

No? You're a creepy sexual harasser.

boomadley · 2019-01-04T06:37:24+00:00

And how do you suggest women let men know that what they are trying isn't working? How are men supposed to learn what doesn't work if they don't get accurate feedback on the bad moves? If you come off as creepy, what's the response?

You say it yourself - you want men to learn, to take the negative feedback in stride and not stop. What better way to learn than a clear "that's creepy, don't try that tactic again"?

ffca · 2019-01-04T13:29:35+00:00

Really depends on how attractive you are.

SearchLightsInc · 2019-01-03T22:16:15+00:00

People give them disingenuous “advice” in saying things like “talk to her like she’s a human” as if that’s at all helpful or valuable.

Its disingenuous advice to treat women like regular people?

xChrisTilDeathx · 2019-01-04T06:09:38+00:00

Its a double standard guy x hits on a girl and she finds him attractive therefore he’s “confident.” Guy y hits on a girl and she finds him unattractive therefore he’s “creepy.”

thubtop · 2019-01-04T11:56:23+00:00

life advice: just don't be creepy. creepy is not alpha. women who are not nice to you and do not appreciate your approach -- leave them alone. you can only take control by not wasting time on the wrong women. since i don't give a shit about the women, they usually don't reject me. actually, they like it that way. it must feel like difficult for them to get you. and don't marry them -- that changes the game.

2019-01-04T14:22:48+00:00

I like to throw “wow, that’s semi-pedophilic!” Around. Just let it sink in while they realize the looks are gone and advances can o let be made by attractive people lest they be creepy.

yendorion · 2019-01-03T23:01:05+00:00

That era is over, only women choose men now.

majortom22 · 2019-01-04T00:52:45+00:00

I remember (it's a classic go-to story among buddies, ten years later still) right after I graduated HS going to a club. I was with buddies....18, unsure of myself a bit, etc. You know the deal. Anyway. Was watching the pool tables and my buddy begins to egg me on to go and ask the girl who's playing to play a round.

No man...

Yes...

No...

Yes...

And so it went until finally I sucked it up and agreed.

It went bad. Real bad. I walked up to the girl who was taking a shot with the intent of tapping her on the shoulder and asking her to play. Mid reach-out-to-tap, she straightens up and turns around. Suddenly, she's face to face with a guy (me) who is mid-gesture, leaning towards her.

....?

DO YOu....DO You wanna play POOL?

She looked at me like I was a slug. After a few seconds she uttered "yeah....next game..." and turned and walked away with a disgusted look.

To be clear, I'm not some like...weird guy or something. I'd truly never, at that point in my life, walked up to a woman and done that. No idea what I was doing and I was scared man.

Its funny to look back ten years now. It's totally changed. But I like to reflect upon that memory in particular (among a few others) because it really locks into my psyche a real reference point on who I was at a given point of time.

Don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of reading critiques by armchair quarterbacks who never played a game.

Jabronskyi · 2019-01-03T22:17:00+00:00

We could say the same thing about women and cars

dexfagcasul · 2019-01-04T00:20:20+00:00

looking back i see i used to label kids as just the same and most of the time its just because theyre outcasts or what not. really sad but thats just part of bullying ya know, hopefully it changes as it has been throughout history

the_valient · 2019-01-04T02:33:03+00:00

I agree. Women, especially western women are too smug to appreciate the fact that men are taking time out of their day to talk to you. And they're just trying to do what many people have told them to do, and when you put them down you take away their self integrity and then they start doubting themselves. They should be proud that someone wants to talk to you and possibly take you out to dinner. You might like this guy if you gave him a chance, but your irrational various sense of self has blinded you to the fact that your ovaries are ticking and soon, you'll come to a point where you won't have children. But he will. So just be nice next time a guy crosses your path. You might end up liking who you talk to.

rationalthought314 · 2019-01-04T03:42:20+00:00

Being called creepy is negative reinforcement to disuade you FROM BEING CREEPY. They feel uncomfortable and are trying to make you stop, you self centered numbskull.

II---II_II---II · 2019-01-03T21:50:33+00:00

That post sounds like it was written by an incel and it's disingenuous to suggest there is no such thing as creepy behavior, by either sex.

CharliesDick · 2019-01-04T02:43:46+00:00

Good evening Miss, could you sign this form?

I'd like to chat with you and buy you a drink. Perhaps I can touch you on the shoulder to gain your physical trust. Then slap you on the ass, and suggest we go back to my place for "coffee". But I can't do all that until you sign this form.

Yeah that'll win them over.

SpeedCola · 2019-01-04T04:47:25+00:00

I've thought about this quiet a bit and clearly many others have as well. My conclusion was that according to society men are to purse women and to do so by society's standards is creepy.

A women's job is to present herself or look attractive. Then they get to choose. That's a really comfortable role to have.

I guarantee if you grabbed nearly anyone off the street and said "hey which job would you rather have, passive income from home or labor all day on commission" nobody would choose the harder task.

Don't let people break your balls. A girl calls you creepy, tell her not to flatter herself, or you thought you were doing her a favor. Laugh it off because the next rejection is right around the corner and you are playing the law of increasing numbers.

Aspie-ju · 2019-01-04T05:04:01+00:00

What about an attractive creepy? I have very strong masculine features and make them nervous. They start stroking their hair and adjusting clothing. I get a lot of attention from women. It is a mix of fear and interest. I think they try to fight the sexual urge when they see a very masculine guy. It is funny. I have had women running away from me on the street when they spot me.

boomadley · 2019-01-06T23:33:20+00:00

Ah sorry, I wasn’t clear. So yeah, my next question is have you ever worried about being beat up for turning someone down romantically. And I ask this because for a lot of women, even a polite “no thanks” can get you called a bitch, or worse. We are never sure who is going to be reasonable and who is going to attack you, who is going to be cool and who is going to turn into a weird stalker. When this is normal, you start to be really cynical about guys approaching you. If you’ve never gone over to r/creepyPMs, go take a look.

In a perfect world, everyone would be clear and forthright and not hold it against guys who put themselves out there, and women would feel confident being honest and generous. But often we don’t because we’ve collectively had a lot of shitty experiences in dealing with men. I know this isn’t your fault individually, I just want men to realize that we are always at least a little on guard with them until they prove otherwise. And yeah, it sucks to be called creepy and I wish that wasn’t the case. There’s just so much baggage there.

2019-01-04T09:28:36+00:00

And women get called crazy and sluts. Seriously, what is happening to this sub? Now full of women-hating incels. It's becoming the male version of those awful feminist subreddits. Sad to see.

Being “creepy” is an inevitable part of young men learning to speak to women they’re interested in. Young men shouldn’t allow women who’ve never had to be the pursuer shame them for trying and not being perfect at it on their first tries.

Crosspost "Being “creepy” is an inevitable part of young men learning to speak to women they’re interested in. Young men shouldn’t allow women who’ve never had to be the pursuer shame them for trying and not being perfect at it on their first tries." from /r/unpopularopinion:

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Rules for not being creepy to women