Do men that dont watch/dislike porn even exist?

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-04-15T01:35:47+00:00

I don't think they exist on old. Every guy I met on there wants nudes or to hurt me. I think someone who's so reliant on the internet will be addicted to many different websites, including porn.

Mud-covered-dog · 2021-04-14T22:45:21+00:00

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_queeeen_ · 2021-04-14T21:48:33+00:00

They do. There’s also a category of men who are occasional users of non-hardcore stuff who would quit if they woke up and/or the right woman asked.

Personally I was not aware of how deeply problematic the industry is until the last year (I’m in my 30s) because I simply never watched any violent/depraved content. Only the female-centered type. Now I get it and I’ve sworn it all off. I think an intelligent man with solid values (such as being a true feminist, not just performatively so) would quit as well.

nothing998 · 2021-04-14T23:05:39+00:00

I don't think men feel revulsion or dislike towards porn when they're exposed to it. It's not like what is hear from most women, who are often traumatized by their first exposure. If they end up disliking it, it's because they are resentful of the power of has over them, and want to take back control of their sexuality. They never quit out of guilt over consuming abuse of women, or quit out of fear when they begin viewing women as objects. The antiporn movement only became popular with men when they figured out that consuming it hurts themselves in some way.

Yeah... It's nice to find men who are antiporn, but I'm still irritated because it was a struggle for them to give up dehumanizing women, and they only did it for themselves.

DontAskTwice-A-Roni · 2021-04-14T21:54:07+00:00

Sadly, most men that I know who are anti porn are also deeply religious, and they hold other similarly regressive views about women’s roles in sex and marriage.

There are also guys who have experienced porn addiction that stand against it and no longer watch, but I don’t know exactly how many of those men there are in the world. The no fap subreddit is pretty popular, but it seems they prioritize the negative effects porn has on men rather than the effects it has on the exploited women in the industry, so it’s not like they really care about how much porn hurts women.

Maybe there are more that I haven’t though of, but I can see more men turning away from porn as their addictions worsen over time. We’ll see.

lessadessa · 2021-04-14T22:00:02+00:00

I don’t know, I have low hopes. But I make it clear with every guy I talk to now I have zero tolerance for it. It feels so much better to stand my ground than to be shamed into keeping silent when I know my boyfriend is sneaking into the next room, intentionally lusting after other women and gratifying his sexual urges to them. Fucking gross.

level_up_always · 2021-04-14T22:06:20+00:00

just being real - i don't think so. they literally can't study how porn has effected the brain because they can't find any men who haven't watched it. and i see other commenters say there are religious anti-porn men out there which honestly i have to LOL about because you know what state consumes the most porn? utah. these men lie constantly because they don't want to risk it otherwise and the ones who are the most vocal are usually the most depraved. maybe there's an incredibly small percentage but you will never know bc they're conditioned to lie about it. and even if they don't watch it now they've all seen it so it's poisoned their brains.

msinclaire · 2021-04-15T00:49:57+00:00

I’m married to one. His interests are hunting, fishing, gardening and building things with his hands (he built our home and built himself a boat). When he has leisure time those are the things he turns to, not a computer screen. He does not have the kind of phone or data plan that supports hours of porn. I’d say looking for outdoorsy types is the best bet I can think of.

If a man is a gamer, odds are very good he watches porn as well. If I were single and looking, I would stay away from gamers and join a hiking club, biking group or anything that supports an outside activity miles away from a screen.

valleycupcake · 2021-04-14T22:57:11+00:00

Ikr? If I ever date again, I want him to be someone who just never watches that stuff, and if he sees it accidentally, thinks “ew, that’s private!” And shuts it off. Is it so radical to believe that sex should be an expression of love?

drphilsasshole · 2021-04-14T23:01:43+00:00

Rare, but they exist I think. I’ve ended relationships over porn use. It’s up to you to set the standard and filter out the trash. You can usually tell because they suck in bed and can’t orgasm or keep it up, and they try out moves lifted straight out of porn. It’s usually the worst sex ever.

Feral_Housewife_ · 2021-04-14T22:25:58+00:00

They do, but they're far and few between and often religious. My current bf will rant alongside me about how disgusting the porn industry is and how it fucks people up. But then again, the reason I'm dating him is because he is completely different from literally every other man I've ever met.

Sometimes dudes who deny any porn use and masturbation are the biggest addicts with the deepest shame about it. My ex husband was that way. He would VICIOUSLY lash out at me whenever I tried to open a dialogue about his porn habits and masturbation habits (because they were DESTROYING our sex life).

VS377 · 2021-04-15T00:50:39+00:00

Yes, but I feel like they’re constantly silenced by other men. When me and my BF started dating, we very early on had a candid conversation about porn. I didn’t outright say I was against it or anything, just to see how he’d feel. He said he’s watched it in the past (like as a teen) but generally finds it uncomfortable/disturbing and doesn’t watch. I had a PA ex who caused me serious mental turmoil so this was a huge relief.

However, pretty much any time he’s brought it up with other guys, they either laugh it off or get super defensive. He has one friend that is seemingly converted to being against it (although we don’t know what he does in his free time), but other than that the facts fall on deaf ears. In a group conversation, one girl asked him why not, and “doesn’t your girlfriend want you to watch it?” (they brought it up, not him), so my hopes are low for the majority of men. Some women are so brainwashed into thinking that their boyfriends SHOULD watch it, and if they don’t then there’s something wrong with them.

BF and I have some sweet Fight the New Drug shirts and get lots of questions from people that genuinely seem to be into the cause, so that’s uplifting at least.

blerty567 · 2021-04-14T22:46:51+00:00

No. They’re like babies with candy, unable to control themselves. Go visit no fap subforum and see how few of them can last even a day lmaooo

Physical_Stretch · 2021-04-15T04:30:13+00:00

It ALWAYS progresses, despite what the man will tell you. He'll say he's going to give it up and never would do "blah blah blah" but then you find him soliciting prostitution from someone in your town on only fans.

These men are the same ones who are more likely to end up sexually abusing children.

spicyspa · 2021-04-15T00:48:18+00:00

My son in law thinks porn's disgusting. I don't think he said that to impress me. He doesn't care that much about what I think. He's not a prude or anything. Too many germs and body fluids of strange people is what skeezes him out. Another thing, he had to work full-time to support himself at a young age and go to school. Idle hands are the 😈 playground. So, not common, but it happens.

Not to defend older dudes, or encourage dating them but most I've been with didn't like porn and were offended when I asked "I can get my own action." There were a couple who were addicted. 1 was embarrassed but admitted needing help. The other said I shouldn't porn shame ("male feminist"). Anecdotal but after coming on here I was surprised at the level of pornsickness younger women have to deal with.

I think the problem with younger men is the early introduction of internet porn at a very young age hardwiring the brain. Prior to the internet, you had to buy mags or order them. It took more effort so there wasn't this 24/7 brain damaging stream. That isn't to say it wasn't problematic for old dudes, but kinda hard to look through the same Hustlers 24/7.

Protoetype · 2021-04-14T22:36:46+00:00

Yes. Some men understand the harm it causes prostituted women and the harm it causes relationships.

LynWyn · 2021-04-15T02:19:21+00:00

I found one. Our commonality is that we are both very religious. That’s one community that preaches against it.

s_slayer · 2021-04-15T07:17:25+00:00

I will admit to have occasionally fallen prey to porn and I really honestly find it boring and it really sucks so much energy out of you by removing your own beautiful imagination from the equation. There’s no romance, it’s just raw sex and watching others orgasm. I realized it just doesn’t do anything for me even the low key stuff I checked out. And I decided I couldn’t be a part of that industry. If you are horny enough, you don’t need porn, it artificially amps you up. It’s a choice you make to watch it and waste your time, life and energy to watch other people get off so you can. I am so much happier in every way keeping things natural in my life. I wish I’d never seen porn. It’s a fucking cancer in society but we don’t have to watch it. I really feel it’s bad karma and bad energy all the way.

boopdasnoottoot · 2021-04-14T23:38:04+00:00

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FDS-GFY · 2021-04-15T01:54:23+00:00

Yes. They exist.

Lemon_bars_addiction · 2021-04-15T02:52:41+00:00

I might just be too pessimistic for my own good but I really can’t understand how someone can say with complete certainty that someone else doesn’t watch porn.

Truth is we never truly know a person and incognito mode is a thing. All it takes is for them to disappear to the bathroom (even for a few mins) with their phone. Or while you’re sleeping or when you’re out etc. People underestimate how deceitful men can be and if they know you don’t like porn of course they’ll be an expert at pretending to be repulsed by or indifferent to it (until you’re not around!!)

I feel like some of these responses are pretty naive. Also they can watch without necessarily being addicted to it and thus it wouldn’t show up in their day to day sex life with you.

2021-04-15T03:55:46+00:00

Another reason I'm thankful for this group. I haven't had the stomach to look too deep into this yet, (I will) but I believe all of you.

CatSweets · 2021-04-15T00:09:14+00:00

The only man I personally know who is vocal against porn is a gay man 🤷

MarbleWorld · 2021-04-14T22:24:20+00:00

Yeah there are definitely. I think there is a difference between men who are regular watchers, and every once in a while so its no big deal to stop.

2021-04-15T05:11:46+00:00

I know several! Some are conservative Christians who see it as immoral or a sort of failure of masculinity, some are straight edge punks who think porn counts as a drug, some are satanists and atheists who are really concerned about human trafficking, and some are recovering scrotes who realized it was stunting their ability to connect with the women they tried to date.

dr_mcstuffins · 2021-04-15T16:38:50+00:00

Not the answer you’re looking for, but my dad never did and never would. It was a boundary my mom put down very early on in their relationship (she’s the one who told me this, not him) and he has always respected it because he loves her.

I learned yesterday (from a post on this sub) that the average life span of a porn actress is 37. Not their career life span - on average they die by that age. I looked it up and it’s true. I’ve looked at it occasionally in my life but now that I’ve learned this I never, ever will again. This may be TMI but for the past 1-2 years I’ve been training myself to just focus on my bodily sensations and how good it feels. When I get close, I start chanting silently in my head “I’m going to come, because I love myself, because it feels good, and I want to” over and over again. I focus on staying relaxed instead of becoming tense. For me, this actually works. It also translated over to sex and I’ve been able to come with a partner using this method. It has been a great way to get away from porn.

I had a huge fight with my SO last night because he has a problem and I learned the 37yo lifespan. I told him, and it made me FURIOUS that he was contributing to that. That he was getting off on the exploitation and degradation of women, and it’s part of his overall pattern of disrespect towards women. It didn’t go well, but I hope he does some serious thinking about what he’s doing.

https://thereallisaann.com/2017/06/27/life-expectancy-of-a-porn-star/

AstraeaOfJustice · 2021-04-15T02:37:28+00:00

Yeah, I have an ex who never watched it. He was Christian but not overly religious. I know he didn't watch porn because he told me he wouldn't since he had me, we shared the same computer which I had administrative access to, and we were pretty much together 24/7. Only problem was that he had a major gaming addiction. Maybe that's why he didn't watch it? Too busy gaming. This was over 10 years ago though. It's probably much harder to find guys who don't watch it nowadays.

oricuri · 2021-04-15T07:22:52+00:00

Two of my exes absolutely insisted they never watch porn. Unfortunately I can tell you it does not necessarily make a man better in bed! Lol

Yes not watching porn showed in their general behaviour compared to pornisck men, however they also had other problematic behaviours. So just not watching porn is not a clear sign of him being a HVM.

w0rmsongs · 2021-04-15T15:18:16+00:00

Yes. I know a small handful.

But I would always wonder, how to figure out if they do? If you straight up ask a man if he watches porn he'll either say yes, lie, or you'll be left uncertain. On a sub dedicated to porn free relationships, one member provided a valuable question to ask a man:

"What kind of porn do you watch?" 😊

You can say this coyly, without sounding accusatory, and I'd imagine more often than not you'll receive an honest answer.

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1Here4Bach · 2021-04-15T16:15:50+00:00

Current boyfriend says he stopped watching porn at 17 (he’s 26 now). He has an abnormal amount of introspective skills for a man which helped him realize porn was altering his state of mind so he stopped.

feeltheweird · 2021-04-16T06:14:55+00:00

There are quite a few male commenters who appear to be quitting porn in the comments section of anti-porn Ted talks (mostly the ones of men sharing their porn addiction stories). I’m still social distancing so I’m not entirely sure about real world males. Either way, there does seem to be a level of self-awareness. I did briefly date a man who I later learned had recently identified within himself that he had a porn addiction. I don’t know how it’s going for him now though as I was wholly unequipped to deal with that as a relationship’s “first hurtle challenge”

CheetahEnergy · 2021-04-17T14:04:06+00:00

My first boyfriend did not watch porn. I was 22, he was 30 lol. But he would ejaculate in under a minute and would not try to make me cum, and this pattern lasted for 11 months. A week before he dumped me, he was complaining to me that we don’t have sex as much as before. I told him “well sorry I don’t want to have sex with a premature ejaculator”. When he broke up with me a week later, he said “the spark is gone”😂 It took me 3 months, and randomly sharing that ejaculation comment with my sister, for me to realize he dumped me cuz i bruised his tiny little ego❤️

purasangria · 2021-04-14T22:05:33+00:00

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2021-04-15T03:31:21+00:00

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Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-04-15T10:59:30+00:00

Terry Crews and Chris Rock come to mind.

Ashton Kutcher comes to mind for being against sex-trafficking. Can you be anti-trafficking and also pro-porn without being a colossal hypocrite?

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-04-15T13:30:00+00:00

Honestly, I don't know. I was involved only with pornsick men.

ArugulaIsAwesome · 2021-04-15T22:11:14+00:00

My father had to quarantine with me for 14 days. We’ve always been close but things got pretty hilarious near the end.

One day he got up from the couch to go have a smoke and said “what is up with porn these days!??? What’s with all the anal?!!!”

I cackled and we had a funny chat about how bad porn has gotten.

My dad is a solid guy. 🤣

Title	Do men that dont watch/dislike porn even exist?
Author	boopdasnoottoot
Upvotes	504
Comments	101
Date	April 14, 2021 9:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mr0qyh/do_men_that_dont_watchdislike_porn_even_exist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-men-that-dont-watchdislike-porn-even-exist.763592 https://theredarchive.com/post/763592

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