In light of my recent post, I wanted to expound on more of the insidious (and crafty) ways in which men of my past have hidden their porn addiction. In no way is this list entirely comprehensive, as I’m sure many of you can add more in the comments, but I’ll be sharing my own experience.

  1. Hyper-vigilance surrounding their phone and/or computer screen. Do they quickly switch/close tabs when you enter the room or turn towards them? Most likely hiding a porn browser. Some guys have also had a “preference” of keeping their phone screen facedown.

  2. Begins to make unusual asks during and around sex. A PA isn’t satisfied with the purest sense of sex: pleasure and to connect with you. Suddenly, they bring up things like anal sex, bondage, and other things they’ve been “curious” about. These are all things they’ve watched in porn and want to try out on you now. This is not to say that you cannot have fun together, but comes down to the reasoning behind it all. More toys in the bedroom can be fun, but is the reasoning perhaps because of his sudden or increased watching of porn? Probably.

  3. Back to the first point, with a twist. He now takes his phone to the bathroom with him. Every time.

  4. Lack of sex drive. Self-explanatory. He’s not interested in connecting with sex with you because he’s too wiped out physically from jerking it.

  5. Sudden or increased body talk. What was beautiful about you in the beginning now could use some work. Suddenly your boobs aren’t big enough. You aren’t thin enough. You aren’t toned enough, or are too muscular for him. You could use a tan. You don’t have the right hair color. Your butt is too big/not big enough. These comments will be thinly veiled as “suggestions” but in sincerity, he’s hoping to mold you into the girls he jacks off to. Goodbye, self-esteem.

  6. Begins or increases watching of other women. When you’re out together, is he staring at/ogling other women? Does he make disparaging or inappropriate commentary on women’s bodies when you’re watching movies or TV together?

Feel free to add your own, ladies. I’ll edit with more as I think of them.