Men should ask permission before asking sexually explicit questions

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-03-21T16:25:53+00:00

I get your point, but I like low-value men to out themselves early on so I can filter them out faster.

Zabadoodude · 2026-03-21T15:28:14+00:00

Explicitly asking permission seems autistic. If the guy can read basic social cues, just start with something tame, then, if she seems into it, escalate. And definitely don't do it through the work messaging app or anywhere if she is clearly not into it.

The real issue is creeps not caring if it makes you uncomfortable and some women laughing along with jokes she finds uncomfortable, which makes some guys assume she's into it.

ladybird_00 · 2026-03-21T16:21:18+00:00

I don’t need to be asked for permission. I’m an adult that can engage with the question or not.

DeciduousLesbian · 2026-03-21T15:28:50+00:00

Me when I was in high school asking for consent from a girl as we’re making out in the back of my car.

Her: “Omg ew please never ask another girl that again”

Brief awkwardness, then back to making out, then sex.

Legal-Birthday-1163 · 2026-03-21T16:16:42+00:00

LMAO “men aren’t assertive enough” “why doesn’t he make the move first?”

“Men should ask permission first”

Do you want him to ask permission to kiss you too?

Sips tea*

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-03-21T15:33:44+00:00

I actually disagree, because it weeds out the trash early on.

A guy being inappropriate or overly sexual is a good way to tell you, he’s going to an asshole and is going to start making sexual demands and is likely to be fairly selfish.

And your co-worker who’s getting the sexual messages, whist that’s awful, it does mean she’s got evidence of him being inappropriate and harassing her at work. He hopefully gets the sack. Learns not to do that shit again.

theminxisback · 2026-03-21T17:19:05+00:00

I don't get it cuz for me, when I'm with women, I'm checking in and asking consent for everything I can or feel the need to. They tend to get annoyed by it, however, I do it anyway. It's part of the process for me. Need them to feel safe, happy and pleased at all times.

-TheUnstoppable- · 2026-03-21T15:31:02+00:00

There are a lot of topics I feel uncomfortable discussing, and if I voice that and it is ignored, I liken it to bullying as there are distinct similarities. It's almost as if people do it just because they get enjoyment/pleasure from seeing you uncomfortable (in my experience), it's all provocation.

Your coworker is a typical *ss, I know A LOT of guys like that. I have spoken up and lost friendships as a result, but quality over quantity. I would just ignore all his messages that aren't work related. Maybe start screenshotting them, especially the ones where you say you feel uncomfortable, and then anonymize them (remove your/his name) and send to HR from an anonymous email and ask to issue a reminder bulletin regarding sexual harassment. I always remind myself "you can't fix stupid", so perhaps having him fired (some workplaces have zero tolerance policies) may be a bit much given the mild-ish circumstances. I'm not trying to downplay your feelings or excuse his behaviour, it isn't okay, but I feel like this is a good compromise as everyone wins.

Legate_Retardicus84 · 2026-03-21T15:47:11+00:00

These things are supposed to be spontaneous. Asking for permission ruins the mood.

BestPlant6968 · 2026-03-21T16:56:21+00:00

People who do that to strangers don’t care if they are making you uncomfortable (they may even be trying to do so).

It’s 100% a test. Women who put up with it or actually answer the questions are generally going to be easier to manipulate and potentially easier to get sexual access to. It’s seen an indicator of a lower ability to enforce personal boundaries, higher insecurity / need to comply and please, and more likely to be sexually available with less effort.

Women who shut it down weren’t going to fall for their BS anyway so there’s no downside for the men. They are intentionally sorting for “easy access”.

DriverInitial8305 · 2026-03-21T15:58:58+00:00

A good rule of thumb is that rules only exist for men they don’t find attractive

brassbuffalo · 2026-03-21T17:27:00+00:00

That seems very silly. To a woman that's not interested, asking permission to ask a sexually explicit question is already crossing a line. The act of seeking permission breaks the rules. To a woman who is interested, asking permission is a way to announce to her "I have low self-confidence and can't read the vibes" which will turn a yes into a no.

The guy in debate point 2 asks sexually explicit questions on work IM despite being asked to stop. He's already breaking social norms. He wouldn't ask permission if that was the norm.

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DGenerationMC · 2026-03-21T17:25:41+00:00

Different strokes for different folks, OP.

Come on, you've gotta be smarter than that.

ArtisticLime9769 · 2026-03-21T18:09:32+00:00

Mostly true, but at the same time there are very weird boundaries in flirting. Like for some people sexual innuendo is harrasing, some people speaks only in sexual innuendo.

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-03-21T20:19:17+00:00

If a guy is asking sexual questions so early it’s because he’s simply asking for what he wants from her, it doesn’t matter if it offends her or puts her off because if he’s doing it in the first place than the guy is very desirable and can have any other woman. In the end this is just another example of women trying to say too far up in desirability.

Mud_Blossom · 2026-03-22T00:21:56+00:00

What kind of emotionally underdeveloped adult needs guardrails for being asked a question? Embarrassing stuff.

These-Purpose-7019 · 2026-03-22T11:38:03+00:00

I know we usually assume the men here have autism, but i wonder if we also should assume the same for the women, cause I dont see this working on most nt women

wq73 · 2026-03-23T03:23:03+00:00

I don't think the audience this post is for will be receptive to its message

Iknowtheworlds · 2026-03-25T00:32:40+00:00

You're arguing against sexual harassment. I doubt many people disagrees with you in real life.

PattayaVagabond · 2026-03-25T16:30:04+00:00

You’re wildly missing the point. Men actually do this to shit test women. They’ll say something sexually inappropriate to see her reaction. If she’s interested in you she’s not going to react nearly as bad

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-03-25T22:13:55+00:00

Let me fix it for you, you want men who you aren't attracted to to NOT talk about sexual stuff up front.

Top-Spring9697 · 2026-03-21T15:28:36+00:00

Asking permission isn't sexy though. And there's the problem - not just in online dating, but in real-life as well.

It's also worth keeping in mind that women can be lewd too with guys they actually like. Let's face it, being sexual is the most clear way of showing sexual interest. In fact, it's the only unmistakable way to do so - for obvious reasons.

ThanosSnapsSlimJims · 2026-03-21T16:18:58+00:00

Ask permission? Nah.

OkAd351 · 2026-03-21T15:25:51+00:00

Nah.

Neptune-Jnr · 2026-03-21T22:36:24+00:00

Asking for permission would have the same effect as just asking the sexual thing.

_mainlander · 2026-03-21T23:08:56+00:00

context is everything.

the co-worker example is textbook sexual harassment. yes.

non-dating app online interaction. likely harassment. needs more specifics.

dating app or actual date? no. you're gonna have a hard time proving to a judge that asking sexual questions on a dating app or an actual date is sexual harassment. because context. you can say it was unskilled or w.e. but context is romantic. sex is part of romance. romantic questions are expected in romantic context.

all of this in terms of broaching the subject. of course in any context if you've already declined to answer and he continues to press it anyway, date or not, then it's harassment.

Title	Men should ask permission before asking sexually explicit questions
Author	Axis_Control
Upvotes	0
Comments	237
Date	March 21, 2026 3:06 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rztrvq/men_should_ask_permission_before_asking_sexually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-should-ask-permission-before-asking-sexually.1576072 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576072

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