No Prenup = 50/50???

GhostTheEternal · 2021-12-23T23:14:12+00:00

I'm Australian and I think our system generally gets the financial split right in marriage breakups. Each person is entitled to "the product" of the relationship. The way it works in practice is that if I own $500,000 worth of assets prior to the marriage, and at the end of the marriage those assets are worth $600,000, then we must split the increase in value 50/50. So I get $550,000 and my ex-wife gets $50,000. The same applies to any of her assets of course.

It allows for the couple to equally share the increase in wealth over the course of the relationship, making the assumption that each party equally contributed.

I think prenups are only necessary here when the expectation is that there won't be equal contributions, typically when one person is rich and provides their trophy-spouse with a life of luxury.

ashpr0ulx · 2021-12-23T22:47:03+00:00

just depends on the people and how they want to operate.

i know a couple who is so 50/50 that one will venmo the other half the price of a pack of diapers every time the kid needs them. it seems to work for them, it sounds exhausting to me.

watching the married couples i know, they all handle finances and budgeting very differently. it’s so personal. what matters is both people being on the same page and feeling good about the amount they and their partners put into the relationship. i’m not really into a prenup, personally, but i understand them and i think for a lot of people it’s comforting to have a solid agreement on things.

CatoftheBanals · 2021-12-23T23:49:15+00:00

If you never want kids, knock yourself out. But if you want kids, no way you get to stay on an upward trajectory with earnings while your spouse raises the kids, then you can walk away with your higher salary. Nope. If you want children, then no woman would or should sign on to that.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-12-23T23:37:20+00:00

I am all for prenups for assets before a marriage.

The problem starts generally once children are in the picture as it negatively impacts the primary caregivers earnings (time off work, less experience) negatively.

However if no one takes time off work or has to work part time because of children I think 50/50 sounds okay so as long as everyone agree to it.

Lateralanouncer · 2021-12-23T23:02:40+00:00

No, look at Arnold's ex wife 320mill divorce settlement. If your a man and plan to be successful your a fool to marry in today's sexual climate.

Aviadcool111 · 2021-12-24T01:11:14+00:00

Just don't get married to a woman who makes less than you, that is my plan if I ever get married.

Prestigious-Fly-1949 · 2021-12-24T16:02:28+00:00

I’m childfree and a woman. I plan on asking for one but I also want to include clauses about setting weight gain limits, steps that must be taken for a variety of situations before divorce, etc.

DreamsOfWishes · 2021-12-23T22:34:09+00:00

Only if there are no kids and you live life based on what the lower earning partner can afford.

Novadina · 2021-12-23T22:37:36+00:00

A prenup just covers wealth and assets existing before the marriage. If you sign a prenup, then “agree to pay everything”, then you guys divorce after 10+ years, she can sue for alimony - because there was a precedent for supporting her all those years, with the assumption she sacrificed her career to take care of you, your house, your children. And any assets acquired during the marriage will often be split 50/50, depending on location (in my state all assets acquired during marriage are shared marital assets). So it doesn’t really make sense to relate a prenup to the financial arrangements you decide to do during marriage.

I wouldn’t personally have a problem signing a prenup, but I have never actually dated a man who had any assets to protect before marriage (last time I dated someone not my husband I was 22). I couldn’t currently afford to live how I do if I split everything with my husband 50/50 (to do that you have to only pay what could be afforded by two times the lower earner’s income) and I don’t really have a desire to live as cheaply as possible to amass wealth rather than enjoying my life more now. I worked at my career specifically so I could afford things I want to do and a life I want to live - why would I purposely limit myself to try to make our income contribution “even”? What’s the point of a marriage then? I want to go on vacations with him, and live in a house I like in a location I like. And I am in love with him, it doesn’t work for me to divorce him and go searching for someone who makes what I do (and somehow always will - over my marriage who has made more than the other has gone back and forth multiple times), the fact is I make enough to afford for us to live how I want. So I don’t really understand the perspective of someone who makes more money than their spouse but wants them to pay 50/50, thus reducing the quality of living for both people, unless you aren’t going to live in the same house, and you just take all your vacations without your spouse - but this doesn’t seem like a desirable marriage to me.

Glarkin42 · 2021-12-23T23:28:17+00:00

Prenup is obvious, you keep 100% of what you had prior to marriage.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-12-24T00:18:45+00:00

This is one of those things that’s going to depend on the couple, there’s no one-size-fits all solution. If I’m going to be a more traditional stay-at-home type wife/mother, I expect financial protection in the case of divorce. If we’re both working and there are no kids, that’s going to be different.

captainquestionasker · 2021-12-24T23:23:13+00:00

If you’re a guy with money: No marriage period. All modern marriage does is incentivise women to cash out during a lull.

Prenups aren’t worth the paper they’re written on. The wife can just say she felt pressured to sign etc.

figuringMylife · 2021-12-23T23:07:51+00:00

if men equally cared about career and entrepreneurial women i would agree. housewives and sahm’s are your dependents until otherwise. if u don’t care if she has a career, u r choosing to take responsibility.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-12-23T22:14:19+00:00

It makes sense only if 50/50 takes into account unpaid work and childcare, which is what tends to create substantial disparities in married couples' earnings anyway. But I certainly wouldn't require my partner to pay for more than I thought was fair just because they didn't want a prenup.

welcometothejl · 2021-12-23T23:03:26+00:00

The solution is to make everyone sign a pre nup. This could cover all marital assets accumulated during a marriage, whether or not alimony would be appropriate, and how to handle child support/child care. People should know exactly what they are signing up for.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-12-23T23:17:15+00:00

Nothing wrong with a prenup as long as there's a clause in it that if adultery is committed in the marriage then the prenup is null and void.

Personally I see nothing wrong with splitting expenses also 50/50 ,but here again people would have to stick to their economic class bracket pretty much to get this result of sharing expenses 50/50.
This kind of situation would be ideal for lower , middle ,or upper middle class individuals in society . However I really don't see people marrying this way unless they're kind of forced to because unless there's chemistry involved people usually don't marry for keeping in their economic class to obtain that 50/50 equality . In reality it's very difficult to have a 50/50 relationship with finances otherwise.
If You don't get with a individual that's kind of within your economic class bracket that person will constantly be running and trying to keep up with the one that's making more and eventually that's going to wear them out. The rich have always married for money pretty much , because they want to keep their money ,and they marry other rich people if they are a smart rich person or they have an ironclad prenup otherwise because they look at marriage as a financial situation.

_lexxxi_98 · 2021-12-24T00:24:00+00:00

I think if you make a significant more money than your spouse, and have more higher end valuables you should. My ex made a lot more money that I’d ever make, and would not have been mad if he had wanted a prenup. He told me stories about his coworkers going through divorces and the women taking everything. Whatever you buy and or “earn” together should be equally split, but other than that go full send on the prenup.

hcfywife · 2021-12-24T04:02:50+00:00

All marriages should have a prenup , ask any man who has been divorced a couple of times ☺️

NarniaFox · 2021-12-24T05:28:32+00:00

Different approaches work for different couples.

The easiest budget system to implement is when you're egalitarian and have similar income levels. Then you just split things close to 50/50 either by dividing what each of you pays for or just by creating a joined account where you both put a part of your income and use for grocery shopping, buying furniture etc.

It gets somewhat trickier if you're egalitarian and one of you has significantly higher salary. It's up to the couple whether they stick to the first approach or the outearning partner will chip in more than the other.

If you're traditional and you want to have a SAHM, imv, a SAHM should have some kind of insurance in case you divorce, cheat on her, get ill or even die. I think if she sacrifices her career and financial stability in order to keep your home clean and neat and raise your kids, it's fair to expect that in case of divorce she gets half of what you have.

I doubt that a lot of women would be okay with being SAHMs, if their husbands insisted that they wouldn't get anything in case of divorce. It creates a terrible power disbalance.

My husband and I are egalitarian, we have similar income levels and a joint budget. He didn't even think about prenup and he's rather dismissive towards them overall. He believes that "everything mine is yours" and vice versa. So both his and my income are "ours" so to speak. Considering that we have similar spending and we generally do our budgeting together, it works for us.

megent · 2021-12-24T05:49:07+00:00

If a couple have dramatically different roles (like one does most housework while other does most work outside to earn money), then they should each get 50/50. They should also get 50/50 if they pool their money and take more or less equally for each person's needs. If they are in such a relationship, they have implicitly agreed that their properties and earnings belong to both of them. So it would be fair to split in the middle.

oflbtbs · 2021-12-24T18:59:04+00:00

What worries me more is choice of venue. Can your wife just move to the state that has the most favorable rules for her and file for divorce there? If true it makes predicting divorce outcomes very difficult.

rosesonthefloor · 2021-12-24T20:48:38+00:00

I’m happy with a 50/50 split if we keep expenses limited to what I can afford on a lower salary than his.

I’m also happy to sign a prenup to protect both my and his assets prior to marriage.

But the key is, if things are split 50/50 and one person makes substantially less, then it’s unfair to require them to live up to the means of the higher-earning partner. That disparity is going to breed resentment. I.e., don’t invite me to live in your luxury penthouse that we both know I can’t afford and expect me to pay half.

But that’s why people need to talk about this stuff before getting to that point.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-12-23T23:05:09+00:00

No prenup = no marriage. Women know that they stand to gain something from the divorce later on so that's why they consider being greeted with a prenup to be offensive and "a breach of trust."

By the time they're ready for divorce, they're ready to take/accept all that they can get, even if at the time of marriage, they said that they didn't want anything else.

-CuriousPanda- · 2021-12-23T23:55:35+00:00

Dude, even with a prenup the judge can toss it out and award her 50%, PLUS a sizable alimony payment.

RandomRedditGuy322 · 2021-12-23T22:20:57+00:00

The real solution to this problem is to teach men not to marry.

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flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-24T00:40:52+00:00

Prenups have nothing to do with alimony or child support.

Taipanshimshon · 2021-12-24T05:41:49+00:00

Basically here is the deal. A divorce / and marriage is a three sided contract.

Two people and the government who is the arbiter.

If you trust your spouse you Should have NO Problem signing a prenup both parties lawyers put together. Why ? Because you trust your partner.

If you want another entity to tell you and your partner what to do I think that it's a much much worse sign than any type of argument against signing a prenup.

DeJuanBallard · 2021-12-24T06:48:41+00:00

Any man who doesn't sign a prenuptial is a idiot. Idc how hot she is, or how nice she is too you, or how long it's been. Don't be fucking stupid.

0ctoT1t · 2021-12-24T15:14:01+00:00

Many women aren’t as deeply financially literate as men as some men are. Prenups benefit everyone but lots of people don’t know that because all they just assume the worst when it’s brought up

ObviouslyAnAltAct · 2021-12-26T18:55:25+00:00

Not only would I refuse to marry a woman without a prenuptial agreement, but I would require a postnuptial agreement as well that if it isn't signed the marriage is annulled. Most people don't know but things like pensions, retirement accounts, and other things cannot be protected by prenuptial agreements - only postnuptial ones.

It is absolutely foolish in the extreme to marry without these protective documents. For both men and women.

As an institution marriage is outdated and no longer reflects reality, but it still highly punitive for no reason, especially when there are no kids involved.

Longjumping_Crew_341 · 2021-12-28T01:52:22+00:00

Prenups in marriage are going up and are expected from men who are or plan on being successful. Another tip that was given is even in marriage to have your new assets in a trust so that it doesn't get involved in the courts

Believe it or not but due to changes, you'd be surprised to find you can get a prenup. If anything, I think it's a red flag if someone is vehement about it because I'm looking out for myself too

As long as you're fair about your prenup, and agree to a fair settlement that'll make her happy (splitting equity on home and savings, infidelity penalties on both parties, had a month or two to think about it) then that's fine

sigma1932 · 2021-12-24T06:51:35+00:00

TL;DR: If you need a pre-nup, you shouldn't be getting married in the first place... and in 2021 (soon to be 2022) you ALWAYS "need a pre-nup".

Men gain nothing from getting married, period. Everything people say men gain from marriage comes from the devotion and investment of effort from the woman... not the concept of "marriage". If anything, marriage gives her incentive to STOP being engaged in/contributing to the relationship... if not leave the man for cash-and-prizes outright.

If she can't love you without a government contract that says she can fuck you over any time she wants for any reason she wants, no matter how trivial or frivolous, then she can't love you, period.

RPslimjim · 2021-12-24T02:58:01+00:00

I think your understanding of what a prenup is for is flawed. Generally a prenup is for when a man/ woman of worth/ wealth/ value marries another party where his/ her wealth is vastly different from there’s. The prenup is a contract that offers clarification on what to do in the event of a divorce. Marriages are business contracts and a man who has considerable assets WILL protect himself regardless if the woman agrees to pay 50/50 or not.

Title	No Prenup = 50/50???
Author	yo_dwayne
Upvotes	24
Comments	270
Date	December 23, 2021 10:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rn6ib9/no_prenup_5050/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/no-prenup-5050.1090960 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090960

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