Only acceptable response to when asked for paternity test is 'Yes Absolutely'

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2024-12-06T10:05:41+00:00

Why not talk about this before you decide to have a child?

Massive_Storm7370 · 2024-12-06T10:44:12+00:00

If my husband, who I gave devoted my life to for 15 years and have never lied to, accused me of:

Meeting another man

Kissing another man

Undressing in front of another man

Making love to another man

Falling pregnant to said man

And lying about all the above.

Then I am definitely having huge issues with it. The trust would be gone. Our love would be damaged. And I would likely never trust him again.

Creepy-Substance7279 · 2024-12-06T10:38:12+00:00

I think that men have to state in the beginning of the relationship that they expect paternity tests in case of a pregnancy. If the woman doesn't like that she doesn't have to enter the relationship. And everyone is happy.

BearSpray007 · 2024-12-06T10:19:17+00:00

This is a logic brain idea. Sure logically a woman should be able to submit to a paternity test if she has not been cheating. But relationships are founded on trust. And asking a woman for a paternity test is basically like saying

“hey you know that thing that’s the most important thing in BOTH of our lives, the baby? Yeah I don’t trust you and thing you’re lying to me about him. Can you please prove to me that you are NOT a liar and a horrible person?”

That kinda does some pretty severe damage to the relationship. Thats why I think paternity tests should be mandatory at birth.

Susiewoosiexyz · 2024-12-06T10:01:19+00:00

Guys cancel everything, the redpills are obsessing about paternity testing again!

OldBook649 · 2024-12-06T11:00:48+00:00

That can be your standard. I intend to be a woman my partner can give the benefit of doubt to, and my partner’s minimum standard the mother of his children should be no less than that. If he cannot trust me, either I am too shitty to be the mother or he doesn’t know me well enough to be making me the mother of his children.

SnoopyDru · 2024-12-06T10:05:39+00:00

The same goes for child support. Any good man that intends to support his child should have no issue with the state taking that money directly from his check and giving it to the child's mother for their financial security. Everyone is happy now. That's your child and she knows you're supporting it.

relish5k · 2024-12-06T12:35:01+00:00

as always, this very silly.

i can’t imagine my husband would live giving me a sample of his sperm to check against state databases of unsolved rapes, even if he was not indeed a rapist

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-12-06T10:12:17+00:00

You’re simply crazy if you think that request isn’t going to cause problems. I can’t even imagine telling my husband I need his index finger to snoop through his phone.

Just get the dna yourself and send it in, you don’t need mom’s permission or acknowledgment.

Tren_troll · 2024-12-06T09:59:09+00:00

If you have to ask for a paternity test, trust is already broken and the relationship is as good as over.

alwaysright0 · 2024-12-06T10:34:00+00:00

The only acceptable response is yes, absolutely. Relationship over.

You're now responsibile for the child completely, 50% of the time

AestheticAxiom · 2024-12-06T11:51:38+00:00

But if there is one ounce of defensiveness, that means that she has something to hide. That should be a signal to men to run for the hills or towards a lawyer.

No, it's normal to be defensive about the implicit accusation that you're not trustworthy.

MetaphysicalDominant · 2024-12-06T09:56:51+00:00

Nah, I think all women in should have to do paternity tests when in a marriage and all men should have to wear a chastity cage where the woman has the key. Best way to ensure there’s no cheating. If men are defensive, then run for the hills.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2024-12-06T12:10:36+00:00

I'm convinced men who say shit like this have never actually been in a committed relationship.

If I got pregnant right now, I'm positively sure the thought of not being the father would not even cross my boyfriend's mind.

fleshcrayon · 2024-12-06T12:19:05+00:00

All of this talk about paternity testing is stupid. Simply do the test without asking permission. If the results are positive, sleep well knowing. If not, go scorched earth and dismantle her life…

wtknight · 2024-12-06T13:21:39+00:00

But if there is one ounce of defensiveness, that means that she has something to hide. That should be a signal to men to run for the hills or towards a lawyer.

No. More likely it means that she is offended by the insinuation that she might have cheated on her husband or partner.

Appropriate_Cat3599 · 2024-12-06T10:25:33+00:00

This has always been weird to me do you need permission?? If I had my own doubts like this I’m taking some hair or something and I’m testing it, I’m not gonna go ask cause problems before I even have confirmation lol.

Easier to ask for forgiveness than asking for permission.

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-12-06T11:01:51+00:00

Can we stop trying to justify accusing that your partner cheated? Like cmon stop trying to be the victim. Suggesting this is insanely hurtful especially after carrying and birthing someone's child. You are more than welcome to do so, but there are consequences for your actions. Grow some balls and deal with it.

LucyintheskyM · 2024-12-06T10:21:41+00:00

I think that paternity tests should be more acceptable, but thinking that your partner is going to be cool with it in all situations is pretty asinine. You could disclose to your partner early on that you have anxiety about this, and ask for it as a token towards your mental health, but if you and your partner are trying for children and you demand one, it is really an accusation of unfaithfulness and it is fair if they treat it as such.

If, after a night out with mates your partner asks for an STD panel, would you be offended?

Maybe, instead, the answer is required paternity tests and consequences for paternity fraud? So no one is made to feel like they're under scrutiny. Make it about the health of the child, which it is. If your bio parent has a disease that could affect you and your mum lied about who is your real father, you need to know about it.

Don't make this about women and cheating, you won't get anywhere. It should be about the effect on the child, and the effect on the people who are made to pay for a lie. I totally understand why a woman who is sacrificing her body would be mad about being told they need to give a paternity test, so reframe it, it's not about cheating or how they are the only partner suffering physically in an otherwise healthy relationship, it's just an overall physical safety check, so each human has the information they need for their future health.

BrenoECB · 2024-12-06T11:34:20+00:00

Just do it without telling her in a far away lab, discard and forget if positive

flipsidetroll · 2024-12-06T10:25:58+00:00

You guys constantly bring up the same shit. If you are with someone, I hope you have discussed things like this so you are on the same page. It’s not rocket science. Not everyone thinks like you, so pick someone who does.

Personally I think mandatory tests should be done. It’s protects everyone but most importantly, it helps the child for any future medical issues by knowing parentage. BUT, it’s not possible with the amount of labs available right now. Mandatory tests would cripple labs, and knowing you have cancer would definitely be above who’s your daddy, unfortunately. So while you fight this, you have to raise the number of labs by at least triple. Business idea.

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RushtyTinker · 2024-12-06T13:14:59+00:00

the fucks a paternity test

Edit: oh, yea this is a tricky one. I wouldn't be with someone that would put me in this situation anyway, this must be like the male equivalent of "give me the pass to your phone".

Never cared about people using my shtuff, all they're going to find is funny animal pics and a wildly autistic boys groupchat. That being said some privacy is nice

idk mane, people on this subreddit got some serious issues and that's coming from me

shadowstep12 · 2024-12-06T13:22:17+00:00

I would ask but for me it's for eugenics reasons not I don't trust my wife reasons.

Xeltar · 2024-12-06T13:25:00+00:00

I mean unless you already suspect cheating, this seems very paranoid. I'd be kimda weirded out over the lack of trust if there's 0 evidence or reason to be suspicious. But I wouldn't leave over it, presumably if I wanted the man's child that's a big commitment.

ConstantCode8637 · 2024-12-06T13:43:51+00:00

No! A man asking his wife for a paternity test, simply because she bears the responsibility of childbirth implies he doesn't honor her integrity, and is assuming she doesn't honor her commitment. This is a form of infidelity.

But the hidden truth is that she was never really that into her husband, if she found it so easy to leave her husband over something that doesn't cost her anything.

This is gaslighting. This does cost a woman a lot, emotionally. No person wants to be accused of something they are not guilty of doing. When a woman is dealing with pregnancy and childbirth, the man is just adding more stress and drama.

This is akin to telling a man he was never really into his wife, if he leaves her for constantly accusing him of cheating, simply because he's a man, and that's what some men do.

If a man is going to ask something like this, he's not fit for marriage because why did he propose to someone he believes isn't faithful?

TopShelfSnipes · 2024-12-06T14:02:07+00:00

This is an unbelievably simple solution:

Paternity testing should be mandatory to order child support in a custody proceeding, unless the child was conceived through donor materials via IVF, which a fertility clinic will have records of and his signature will be all over the consent forms.
This right can be waived by the father and the father alone.

At that point the trust is already gone.

For existing men who are paying child support, they should have the right to petition for a paternity test to substantiate ongoing child support, and if the test shows it's not his, absent an IVF situation such as above, he is off the hook for child support payments from that point on.

MoshiMoshi78 · 2024-12-06T15:20:55+00:00

You know you can just take a sample yourself and do it in secret right?

John_Oakman · 2024-12-06T11:25:10+00:00

A request for paternity test is tantamount to an attack on a woman's honor & moral character. That stuff is duel worthy in a different time and context.

Then again the manosphere doesn't even believe women to possess those things which would explain why they don't seem to understand why there would be such pushback from women.

yptheone · 2024-12-06T12:14:52+00:00

Any woman that has a problem getting a dna test is hiding something. Don't fall for it fellas. Always get em tested. It dont matter how much they squak.

Schleudergang1400 · 2024-12-06T11:17:06+00:00

Only acceptable response to when asked for paternity test is 'Yes Absolutely'

No, that is lacking basic understanding of how humans work. It is absolutely normal to feel attacked, hurt, and judged when your romantic partner asks for a paternity test. This emotional response has to be expected and deal with on both sides. Emotional regulation. Some people are good at it, some are bad at it. Both the man and the woman can escalate the situation into a shit show, if they are not experienced and good at handling these situations.

If the emotional reaction was dealt with, regulated, then the couple can go on to the rational side of things. Not every couple is able to get there for different reasons. If the couple can talk about the topic rationally and calmly, not feeling personally attacked, empathizing with the other, it's highly likely, that "yes absolutely" will be the end result.

thatskappa · 2024-12-06T13:20:23+00:00

All right, time for a consistency test.

Does this apply to men as well? Man learns that his kid isn't his and suspects his best friend since childhood might be the dad. He goes to his best friend, says "look, for my peace of mind, I need to test your DNA to make sure you didn't fuck my wife."

Is the only acceptable answer "yes, absolutely"?

Fun_Push7168 · 2024-12-06T13:11:04+00:00

The same women that cry victim at the thought of their partner asking for a paternity test will get an STD test at every gyno visit.

Title	Only acceptable response to when asked for paternity test is 'Yes Absolutely'
Author	carrotskincare
Upvotes	2
Comments	341
Date	December 6, 2024 9:52 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1h7xxxi/only_acceptable_response_to_when_asked_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/only-acceptable-response-to-when-asked-for.1537759 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537759

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