What is the bare minimum a guy needs to have casual sex/a girlfriend in your part of the world?

Ascimator · 2018-02-25T14:40:32+00:00

GF: be an average mildly outgoing guy.
Casual sex: nobody in my social groups brags about having it, but from what I can guess it's be outgoing, energetic and into party/arts scene.

dakru · 2018-02-25T15:09:11+00:00

I think the most common barrier to getting a relationship for men isn't not being attractive enough, but rather an inability to make a move due to fear of rejection or general inexperience. Most generally normal men have a generally normal woman somewhere in his circle of friends or acquaintances who would date him. (It still makes sense to put effort into becoming more attractive, to increase the number and attractiveness of your options.)

Casual sex is a different story. If we're talking about being able to consistently have casual sex (rather than getting it every so often as a fluke) then noticeably above average looks, or average looks and noticeably above average charisma or social status.

goatismycopilot · 2018-02-25T14:33:05+00:00

Having casual sex and having a GF are two different goals.

wtknight · 2018-02-25T14:48:14+00:00

Girlfriend: Having an ability to talk to women and having at least one trait that some woman somewhere is impressed by.

Casual Sex: The same as above plus having the luck of meeting a woman who doesn't have an issue with having casual sex.

VAOTOMARNOCU · 2018-02-25T15:21:48+00:00

willingness to fuck women a couple points below their SMV and being outgoing/aggressive

LewisCross · 2018-02-25T16:47:33+00:00

Casual sex: Be better than average good looking. Have better than average game. Be willing to approach frequently. Even then, you will get casual sex only some of the time, unless he is very good looking or his game is tight, in which case he'll pull more often.

Girlfriend: Have a job. Be average looking. Have beginner competence in game.

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-02-25T14:27:34+00:00

Depends. The minimum varies by race honestly (it's different if you're Asian looking for Asian girls in your college)

I would say: fun DGAF attitude, normal BMI at worst, not a midget, no acne/balding at 23/etc

says_harsh_things · 2018-02-25T14:55:03+00:00

Skinny gf - be above a 6 in looks, have a job , be willing to go out and be social

Casual sex with same - similar, above a 7 in looks and know how to defeat the cockblock game from her fat friends

the_calibre_cat · 2018-02-25T18:28:37+00:00

GF: be outgoing, approach women, don't be fat and have good hygiene, have money and some luck

Casual Sex: be outgoing, approach women, don't be fat and have good hygiene, have money and a lot of luck - be liberal, not conservative

DarkLord0chinChin · 2018-02-25T14:24:15+00:00

Tall Chad

reluctantly_red · 2018-02-25T15:20:00+00:00

Interesting question. I'm on the west coast of the USA -- here's my take.

The following assumes a 1-9 looks scale normally distributed around a median of 5 (there are no 10s). Some pretty lame guys eventually get a GF but lets confine ourselves to guys that have a decent chance of having casual sex at least once every few months and/or finding a girlfriend within a year. Lets also assume that the guy is willing to drop down three points for casual sex (i.e. a guy who is a 7 is willing to have sex with a 4) but only two points for a girlfriend.

He's going to have to be at least average looking (i.e. at least a 5). He's going to have a visible means of support (i.e. a decent job) unless he's really young in which case being a full time student is OK. He needs his own place with his own room (your buddy's sofa won't cut it unless you're really good looking) -- a dorm room is OK if you're a student. He has to have a decent car unless he lives in San Francisco, Portland, or Seattle. Most women can't tell a cheap car from an expensive car so all that is really required is that the car be clean with no obvious defects. He has to be able to actually talk to his target audience -- so target a demographic or subgroup where an actual conversation is at least a possibility. Finally he has to have the balls to get off the sofa and get out there.

AggressiveBeta · 2018-02-25T15:46:56+00:00

Enough money to buy a crackwhore

ContrasexualWoman · 2018-02-25T16:44:28+00:00

Can only speak for myself, but I live in rural NY. Don't know anything about casual sex/ONS situations, but my partners are fun, confident in themselves, intelligent, have their own goals, are kind and empathetic towards others, egalitarian, and have good morals. Physically they are hygienic, slightly above average in looks (imo, obviously), have clear skin, nice natural scents, and good teeth.

cxj · 2018-02-25T20:03:18+00:00

Be in a band, or with the band (merch Guy, tour manager etc) or a well known promoter of shows. Tattoos a big plus. Correct musical taste (ok to have “guilty pleasures” on the DL, just don’t admit to them or make them known in any way).

LooksMatterToWomen · 2018-02-26T20:52:18+00:00

Girlfriend/Wife: Liberal physical attraction requirements. Typically, strict resources requirements.

Casual sex: VERY high physical attraction requirements. No resource requirements.

Genuine attraction: High physical requirements. Liberal resource requirements.

Many women value commitment/security more than attraction, which leads them into relationship with a guy they have little sexual attraction to, and that poses a serious problem. So many common issues can be traced back to settling, such as cheating, demanding/high-maintenance/testy/distant behavior, constant nagging, resentment, game playing, lack of affection, sexless relationships, etc. If she's not immediately physically attracted to the guy, that relationship WILL eventually turn volatile and prone to failure.

Maikowski2 · 2018-02-25T16:04:45+00:00

dick, hygiene and be talkative. That's it. I lacked two of those things.

GridReXX · 2018-02-25T20:40:11+00:00

GF: Talk to women around you and when the time feels right and energy is connecting right treat them to coffee or a drink or a show and go from there.

Casual Sex: be the outgoing suave guy in the group. You don’t even have to be the hottest guy. Just the guy who looks decently attractive but is excellent at nursing a spark when and if it appears.

But in both cases you need to be part of active social network of People or you yourself need to be outgoing.

Shy men who don’t have gregarious friend, preferably coed friend groups don’t have casual sex.

TheVertex_ · 2018-02-25T14:55:01+00:00

If you're in college and you're looking to hook up, this is determined exclusively by looks. Personality is irrelevant. Chad can go to a party, find a girl he likes, slap her ass and she'll bit sitting on his dick in at most an hour.

If you're looking for a relationship, then personality matters, but it doesn't matter in the way you think it matters, or in the way that women say it matters. Do not be a nice guy. Do not even try to be a good guy. Women might settle for the nice guys after riding the CC, but they do not desire the nice guy sexually, and this lack of sexual desire severely strains relationships. An attractive personality is not a virtuous personality, and if you want to get a serious girlfriend and you possess merely average looks, then you need to have an attractive personality. You need to be dominant, bold and cunning. Being an asshole is, generally, highly attractive, but not virtuous obviously. There is a reason high school bullies routinely got laid. Women have no moral inhibitions when it comes to dating. Hell, Ted Bundy got hundreds of love letters.

Financial stability helps, but money cannot make her love you. It can only make her love your money, and when that money is gone or you're dealing with financial hardship, the relationship crumbles. A woman's love for a betabux is conditional on financial support. Women can only unconditionally love Chad. That said, if you're looking for short-term flings, wealth is extremely helpful and can compensate for your other shortcomings.

All of this may be contrasted with what women are expected to bring. 5 years ago I would have said that the bare minimum for a woman is that she's not a landwhale, but today I cannot even say that. Gynocentrism dictates that women aren't expected to bring anything meaningful to the table, but are entitled to men from whom they can extract financial, emotional and temporal resources. This is the world we live in, so just make the best of it.

lazyanhedoniac · 2018-02-25T15:01:34+00:00

Over 2 years at gym, impeccable job experience and exciting career prospects, social confirmation of multiple friends, no mental issues whatsoever if you have a sub-8 looks, minimum 5+ looks, over 5'9''.

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RadaNotaTaakaDaPills · 2018-02-25T15:57:27+00:00

My impression is that in either case, a guy needs to be:

Around average in physical attractiveness

Personable

jerryskids_ · 2018-02-25T18:04:02+00:00

Don't listen to what everyone is saying here too much becausr for every comment I read I remembered an exception that showed that perspective is wrong.

honeypuppy · 2018-02-25T19:42:24+00:00

Considering that the vast majority of both and women manage to find partners, the answer is: "pretty much nothing, so long as you have minimal standards yourself and are willing to look".

Even assuming some standards, there are no real binary deal-breakers, basically everything exists on a continuum. For instance, being short or overweight doesn't help, but they're not total disqualifiers.

mrcs84usn · 2018-02-25T19:56:38+00:00

A girlfriend: Some social competence A fling: At least marginally in shape (so basically just not fat), be outgoing and fun to be around, logistics.

grindlegrundle · 2018-02-25T20:48:28+00:00

A girlfriend: Female friends, basic hygiene, self esteem, a personality

Casual sex: Ability to go to parties, ability to flirt, basic hygiene

blackedoutfast · 2018-02-25T21:03:44+00:00

it's too complicated to give a universal answer. every person is different.

one thing that complicates the issue is that there are not really "leagues" - the common blackpill/incel idea of finding a "looksmatch" is NOT how the real world works.

a guy who is 5/10 SMV may struggle with 7/10 or 8/10 girls. but if he tries to lower his standards, he won't be significantly more successful with 5/10 girls. and since girls tend to be so passive and expect the man to do the approaching and move everything forward, even if a 5/10 is interested in him, he won't know it unless he just happens to hit on her. since it's such a crapshoot, the mediocre guys tend to go for hotter girls.

also, having a girlfriend isn't always better than not having a girlfriend. there are a lot of beta guys who technically have girlfriends, but it's a shitty relationship with a shitty girl. and at the same time, the biggest players who are hooking up a lot are usually technically single.

N0blesse0blige · 2018-02-26T02:31:55+00:00

Slim/average, healthy, fit, somewhat younger relative to oneself, native/indigenous girl. Somewhat pretty (pretty is average here). No tattoos (may actually be hard). Interesting and kind/good hearted towards you (meaning you have a enough choice to find a girl like this who is compatible with yourself).

As girlfriend:

All or many of the following:

Taller than her when she’s wearing high heels, good looks, preferably zero overweight, well-adjusted, master’s degree or professional degree in recognized field. Helps to have travelled, stayed abroad, and have a good position in a large social circle. Outward display of political correctness. The right kind of hobbies: Skiing, sports, snow-board, challenging hiking/cross-country skiing in mountain areas.

Education-level can be offset by lots of money, doing masculine, well-paid work, and possibly doing recognized art/creative work/playing in a band.

Casual sex:

All or most of the following:

Very tall/quite tall (short men don’t even go out here as much anymore), very good looks, contextual or general high-status. Athletic/muscles/well-built. Alternatively very tall and slim. Well-dressed and well-groomed helps.

aNationofTwo · 2018-02-26T03:38:08+00:00

He needs a car, where I live.

WhiskersNT · 2018-02-26T05:03:31+00:00

Casual sex: be sexually forward, fun, and enjoy rejection

Girlfriend: willing to accept the shame of committing to a woman who won’t bang you right away

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2018-02-26T06:02:21+00:00

Casual sex? Frequent party scenes and the gym. Or be into some form of non-classical art like tattoos, fashion, etc.

Girlfriend? Just be social. You'll eventually find someone.

abaxeron · 2018-02-26T07:05:55+00:00

Bare minimum? - Surviving up until 30 years of age. At which point, enough men will either get imprisoned or die of alcoholism not to create any excess competition.

Eastern Europe.

rpwthrowaway2016 · 2018-02-26T10:07:22+00:00

GF: I've seen anyone from obese guys to guys with anime girl shirts have girlfriends, so I'd say the minimum is having functional social skills, hygiene and not being disfigured.

Casual sex: It's still somewhat frowned upon here, so in order to get pass that, the guy would have to be decent looking and fun to be around.

jonascf · 2018-02-26T14:42:33+00:00

Gf: average looks, non-repulsive and a little more than bland personality.

Casual sex: average looks, flirting skills.

MisterJose · 2018-02-27T07:30:45+00:00

Bare minimum of what? I knew a guy who was a half-employed recovering drug addict who lived in a trailer park and got tons of pussy. There are guys just out of the county prison right now who are getting laid more than I am. Why would you think there was some threshold of any tangible positive quality?

Part of what people miss is that there are absurdly attractive women out there who think absolute shit of themselves, and likewise gravitate toward shitty relationships. How you see her is not necessarily how she sees herself. Also, once you get involved in the world of drug-addicts, people with behavioral issues, and general life fuck-ups, all bets are off. These are people who by definition make shitty decisions, and there are plenty of hot women among their ranks.

ankalafor · 2018-02-28T00:05:01+00:00

For both : extremely high social value, be rich, be extremely attractive. No, brain not needed, just the minimum.

Priene · 2018-02-28T11:15:39+00:00

Minimum requirements for a guy to have casual sex:

Don't be fat, don't be 5 feet tall, and don't be too ugly.

Minimum requirement for a guy to get a girlfriend:

Have a pleasant personality, have any job, and treat the woman well(in association with the minimum physical requirements that I've just noted)

And the best part of all? Since you live in a Country belonging to the UE, you have thousands and thousands of foreign women and men for you to meet. And their standards for casual sex and relationships are just about the same.

It's really fucking hilarious to see attractive Scandinavian/German/Finnish women so much into you because to you, they are hot, but to the men they have in their Countries they are just average.

So you just charm them a little, speak to them with their exotic foreign accent, and they forget their men are 6 feet tall and you're just 5'7''.

If only the economy was better, Europe would be a paradise.

Entropy-7 · 2018-03-01T00:56:06+00:00

Canadian ex-pat living in China.

Caucasian, decent build, reasonably well-dressed, double or triple the local average income, speak conversational Chinese.

Only a minority of Chinese girls are into casual sex or having a foreign boyfriend, but given that there are well over 100 million 20-somethings running about the country it is not too hard to find some that are good to go.

NightSkyPill · 2018-03-02T07:33:26+00:00

Girlfriend: Roll the dice. Other factors may increase probability, but there's no real minimum.

Casual Sex: Nobody is really open/honest about this, so I have to guess. Good hygiene, average social skills, plus one of the following: tall, white (if you're open to nonwhite women), or fit body

justtypingcuz · 2018-02-25T16:47:48+00:00

Be.... not dead?

Finding a partner for casual sex isn't that hard and finding a gf isn't hard at all.

Title	What is the bare minimum a guy needs to have casual sex/a girlfriend in your part of the world?
Author	Kerb_Poet
Upvotes	8
Comments	188
Date	February 25, 2018 2:19 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/804p4h/what_is_the_bare_minimum_a_guy_needs_to_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-the-bare-minimum-a-guy-needs-to-have.263465 https://theredarchive.com/post/263465

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