Where do these things fall in priority to you?

PsychoticNurse · 2023-12-29T21:28:21+00:00

43 year old woman:

6/7 (tied), 9, 8, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

boom-wham-slam · 2023-12-30T00:41:50+00:00

4, 9, 8, 7, 5, 6

1 2 and 3 are 100% irrelevant.

I'm 37, male.

HighYieldBlond · 2023-12-29T21:20:38+00:00

For me it used to be: 6,7,8, and 4 only

Now it is: 4,3,1,2,6,7,8

5 and 9 never cross my mind. Not that they don’t matter, but they just don’t register in my mind.

Over the years I’ve found that who didn’t stand out in 1-3 didn’t care or have an appreciation of the hard work I’ve put into my education and career. I’d like a hard working woman who wants to live a high life.

Educational_Mud_9062 · 2023-12-29T21:33:43+00:00

Some of these I'd have to quibble with the definitions of to be sure, but that caveat aside I'd probably say:

M/late-20s 6, 3, 9, 1, 4, 8, 7, 5, 2

EulenWatcher · 2023-12-29T21:37:04+00:00

Late 20s, woman.

It’s really hard to give strict priority- the important thing is compatibility and sexual attraction so the rating itself is probably rather inaccurate.

How they make me feel
Positive personality
Willingness to please sexually
Looks/ shape
Education
Money
Homemaking skills
Career
Gender role

Strictly speaking if a man was really into traditional masculinity that would be a red flag for me. I wouldn’t date someone who valued gender roles.

bluestjuice · 2023-12-29T21:37:51+00:00

39, enby.

6, 7, 4, 5, 9, 2, 3, 1, 8

I will say, this was a challenging exercise because many of these metrics have a minimum threshold that’s not negotiable that makes them a little tricky to prioritize. Like, attraction is important because I don’t want to be unattracted to my partner, but after that it’s diminishing returns for higher levels of attraction. A man who can’t hold down a job is a dealbreaker, but I’m not necessarily too concerned about the specific career or salary level. That kind of thing.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2023-12-29T22:02:24+00:00

F 27 7, 3, 9, 4, 8, 5, 8, 1, 6, 2.

I struggled with number 6, it sounds vaguely self centered. Can someone elaborate? Does that mean “if my partner compliments me multiple times per day, pampers me”, etc?

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-12-29T22:43:28+00:00

Positive (and fun!) personality
How he makes me feel
Looks/shape
Willingness to please me sexually
Education
Career
Money he makes

I don’t care at all about homemaking skills beyond knowing how to do basic cleaning and cooking. I also don’t care about gender roles since my husband and I have an egalitarian dynamic. I do like that he’s masculine in terms of appearance and physical strength/athleticism, though.

Sillysheila · 2023-12-29T23:04:15+00:00

My rank

Age: 29 woman

Goes from most important to least important

How they make me feel
Willingness to please sexually
Home making skills
Looks
Career
Education
Positive personality
Money they make
Masculinity/femininity

How do I explain my choices?

I’m no Suzy homemaker. Just not who I am. I wanted a clean guy. I can cook though. Home making skills are awesome, and too undervalued in society.

How I feel is the most important thing. Someone who makes you feel bad all the time usually is a bad sign. Also I count that as how in love you feel; super important. Why be with someone if you don’t feel that way? It’s pointless imo.

Sexually pleasing is number 2 on the list because I am monogamous, if I am going to be having with one person they need to be able to sexually please me otherwise what’s the point. Sex and love imo are interconnected too. Luckily I don’t have this problem LOL.

With the positive personality: my husband nor any of the people I had a crush on were positive people. I’m almost always surrounded by negative leaning people who come around me to be more positive. I’m like a Yang to people’s Yin. I guess being with someone who is slightly negative when I’m slightly positive is a chemistry in some way. I don’t have anything against positivity necessarily just thought it should be cleared up.

I don’t give a shit about money made as long as your job is stable and you’re not working at McDonald’s into your 50s. Career stability or ability to have stable career is more important to me than raw money so I rank career higher. It doesn’t matter if you’re making 150 k if you have no pension and could get fired at any moment. It’s overrated.

I dunno super masculine guys have just never appealed to me romantically or sexually. I’ve been friends or worked alongside masculine men well but I see “metrosexual” men as sexy. So this is the absolute lowest priority for me.

NetherworldMuse · 2023-12-30T00:43:35+00:00

36m — 1. How they make me feel 2. Sexual willingness 3. Positive personality 4. Looks 5. Career 6. Money 7. Education 8. Homemaking skills 9. Femininity

The_Great_Reset_ · 2023-12-29T21:15:25+00:00

38 Male.

8, 6, 7, 4, 9, 5, 1, 2, 3

theReaders · 2023-12-29T21:35:09+00:00

26F

How they make you feel
Positive Personality/ mindset(actually just not pessimistic)
Homemaking Skills(don't need to be a chef, just enjoy a clean home and body)
Willingness to please you sexually
Education(doesn't need to be school taught, but should be worldly, socially engaged, and thoughtful)

the rest are pretty irrelevant other than how it affects me, they aren't things I want or need.

basedmama21 · 2023-12-29T22:39:36+00:00

31F. I’m married, so I’m gonna answer how I thought while on the market.

4
3
1
7
6
6
2
10
5

On 3, idgaf if you went to college. Associates, trade school, etc are JUST as fine. In fact I saw college boys as less attractive than their rugged blue collar counterparts.

stats135 · 2023-12-29T21:33:07+00:00

Millennial Man.

First: 9,4. Sex was, is, and will be top priority in my life.

Second: 8,5. I'm presumably living with them. It would be difficult without an efficient yin/yang feminine/masculine homemaking/breadwinning division of labour.

Third: 7,6. I'm not overtly emotional by nature, so how I "feel" effects me but not by much.

Last: 1,2,3. Its just not important, unless she's neck deep in debt or something.

TheoreticalResearch · 2023-12-29T21:23:30+00:00

32 year old woman.

6,7,9,4,3,5,1,8,2

operation-spot · 2023-12-30T01:14:37+00:00

Gen Z college woman:

Mindset
Education
How they make me feel
Money they make
Career
Looks
Willingness to please me sexually
Masculinity
Homemaking

I would note that I use this list as a filter meaning my partner would need to meet every standard rather than being happy with meeting only a few.

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baiser_vole · 2023-12-29T21:17:19+00:00

7 (character) and 4

6 then 3 (meet the minimum)

I don't think I would disqualify anyone for anything else. Possibly 9?

MalePsychopath · 2023-12-29T21:32:04+00:00

4, 6, 9, 7, 5, 2, 1, 3, 8

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-12-29T21:32:53+00:00

28 male

7, 9,4,3,6,5,1,2,8

wtknight · 2023-12-29T21:33:54+00:00

I'm a guy.

Out of the ones you listed:

6 4 7 5 9 8 3 2 1

noafrochamplusamurai · 2023-12-29T21:45:07+00:00

43 cis hetero male 6,7,4 3, it's a very tight cluster as in 1a,1b,1c,1d. The rest don't usually matter that much. Having those 4 tend to lead to the things that matter. Homemaking skills are near the bottom, I do all things very well already.

froderenfelemus · 2023-12-29T21:50:51+00:00

F20: 6,7,4,8,3,5,9,1,2

mrs_seng · 2023-12-29T21:51:51+00:00

6, 7, 3, 1, 4, 2, 5, 9, 8

34F

Namiska99 · 2023-12-29T22:11:52+00:00

25 year old woman: 7, 6, 4, 9, 5, 8, 1, 2, 3

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-12-29T22:12:42+00:00

39F

6, 7, 3, 5, 9.

1, 2, 4, 8 matter equally not at all

GlitterAndFireballs · 2023-12-29T22:17:29+00:00

21F.

5, 4, 8, 6, 9, 3, 2, 8, 1.

macone235 · 2023-12-29T22:27:01+00:00

Hard to say specifically. 6, 7, 8, and 9 are all non-negotiable, critical, and equally important. Career could be just as important if it's something like OnlyFans as well as that would be a deal breaker, but in most cases I wouldn't care.

I'd say:

6, 7, 8, 9, and 1
4
5
2
3

themrgq · 2023-12-29T22:30:28+00:00

35 M

4, 8, 6, 7, 5, 9, 3, 1, 2

Looks/ Shape
Femininity/ Masculinity and how much they appeal to their specific gender role
How they make you feel
Positive Personality/ mindset
Homemaking Skills
Education
Career
Money they make

2 is so low that making too much would be a negative thing.

biscuitcatapult · 2023-12-29T22:52:56+00:00

36M

6, 4, 9, 7, 5, 8, 3, 1, 2

dishonouronmycow · 2023-12-29T22:56:25+00:00

26F

4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 2, 3, 1, 5.

4 is do we find eachother attractive and then everything else is after

spanglesandbambi · 2023-12-29T23:00:28+00:00

34 female, married if that makes a difference

6, 7, 4, 9, 3, 1, 8, 2, 5.

Finding_Myway · 2023-12-29T23:15:15+00:00

Late 20's / Male

4, 6, 8, 5, 9, 7, 1, 2, 3

ConanTheCybrarian · 2023-12-29T23:23:32+00:00

CisFe, 35

How they make you feel
Positive Personality/ mindset
Education includes a willingness/ interest in continuing to learn, even informally - for me
Willingness to please you sexually
Looks/ Shape
Homemaking Skills
Money they make
Career
Femininity/ Masculinity and how much they appeal to their specific gender role

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-12-29T23:40:22+00:00

Looks/ Shape
Femininity/ Masculinity and how much they appeal to their specific gender role
How they make you feel
Positive personality / mindset
Homemaking skills
Willingness to please sexually
Education
Money they make
Career

444oo · 2023-12-29T23:45:23+00:00

Late 20s F

My top 5:

Looks. 2. How they make me feel. 3. Positive Personality. 4. Homemaking skills. 5. Education or Career.

LoopyPro · 2023-12-30T01:18:26+00:00

27M

8, 9, 4, 5, 6, 7, 1, 2, 3

lady_ven0m · 2023-12-30T02:05:51+00:00

6,4,9,7,2,1,3,5,8

36F

AFuzzyMuffin · 2023-12-30T02:06:21+00:00

6, 4, 9, 7, 2 ,5, 1, 3, 8

black male 29

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-12-30T02:31:12+00:00

6. 9. 7. 3. 5. 1. 2. 8.

I'm a 33 year old woman.

Neptune-Jnr · 2023-12-30T03:17:03+00:00

Male 25,

How they make me feel
Positive personality
Looks/ Shape
Willingness to please sexually
Money they make
All that other shit is equally unimportant to me

mybotisonfire · 2023-12-30T03:32:20+00:00

Can't answer LTR/partner but for a FWB I think 4 and 9 would do the trick...

silkwuan · 2023-12-30T04:05:05+00:00

25M

My order: 7, 6, 5, 4, 9, 8, 3, 2, 1

TroidMemer · 2023-12-30T04:41:29+00:00

Man, 20 years old

7,6,5,9,4… aaaand I don’t really care about the rest lol

KikiYuyu · 2023-12-30T06:03:22+00:00

31 F

6,7,5,9,1,8,4,2,3

1 only ranks a bit higher because some careers require someone to be away a long time or move around a lot. That could affect a lot of things about daily life.

Common_Hamster_8586 · 2023-12-30T06:34:50+00:00

31 F 1. How they make me feel 2. Looks/shape 3. Money Don’t care about the rest at all.

kayceeplusplus · 2023-12-30T07:30:13+00:00

20F: 9, 7, 6, 4, 3, 8, 5, 1, 2

Rough estimate, may be tweaked a bit

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-12-30T10:55:32+00:00

How he makes me feel
Personality
Physical compatibility
Looks (well it's a factor in how he makes me feel)
Education (but it's about inteligence, I don't believe I would find mutual understanding with someone who doesn't have high school, so I guess it's a part of personality)
House chores (I hate doing it, so I would love if he would take the responsibility, I would even like a house husband, at least share it, be ok with hiring a cleaning lady...)
Career (so he doesn't spend too much time at work and he is with me, I don't want him to leave me for business trips, I want him at home spending time with me)
Money (I earn enough for both of us so whatever, but more money is always a nice bonus)
Masculinity / Femininity (couldn't care less as long as we match each other, it's just some made up bullshit)

I'm a woman, late 20's. And I'm childfree, maybe that's why I don't have to care about money for example. Basicaly I just want that FEELING, that comes first, anything else is secondary. I just want fireworks, butterflies, I just want to fall in love, FEEL it, then comes some long term compatibility.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-30T11:44:39+00:00

6, 7, 4, 9, 5, 1, 3, 2, 8. If I can take 8 as being on the point on the spectrum I'd prefer rather than fitting their specific role, it's probably up there between 7 and 4.

jaybalvinman · 2023-12-30T14:47:07+00:00

42 f 6,4,7,8, 9,1,2,3,5

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-12-30T15:17:39+00:00

29M. Order: 764932581

Positive personality/mindset

How they make you feel

Looks/shape

Willingness to please you sexually

Education

Money they make

Homemaking Skills

Femininity and how much they appeal to their specific gender role

Career

UglyDude1987 · 2023-12-31T03:52:49+00:00

Looks/ Shape
Willingness to please you sexually
Positive Personality/ mindset
How they make you feel
Homemaking Skills
Femininity/ Masculinity and how much they appeal to their specific gender role
Education
Money they make
Career

Crazy_Run_2642 · 2024-01-02T09:48:17+00:00

M, 52: 6-9-4-7-3-8-2-1-5

Title	Where do these things fall in priority to you?
Author	McTitty3000
Upvotes	8
Comments	64
Date	December 29, 2023 8:45 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18twzh7/where_do_these_things_fall_in_priority_to_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/where-do-these-things-fall-in-priority-to-you.1241842 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241842

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