Why do men have this perception that going after financial stability = women finding a man ugly?

19whale96 · 2024-12-07T23:18:15+00:00

I get confused on this sub when men make it seem like women can't physically be attracted to a guy's earning potential.

It's objectification. Fat women don't appreciate being reduced to the sum of their circumstances and what they can provide sexually. Broke men don't like being reduced to the sum of their circumstances and what they can provide monetarily. Same way there's a fully realized person in an overweight body, there's a fully realized person wearing those empty pockets. As your anecdote illustrates, broke men internalize this, because we live in an environment where women considered it important for them to know objectification is dehumanizing, and therefore broke men won't rule out dating overweight women.

Guys get mad at women like your friend who like to benefit from what other women preach to make the playing field more equal, but then refuse to practice it

DietTyrone · 2024-12-07T23:25:15+00:00

Because, women treat men very differently when they genuinely desire them and are very attracted to a guy vs dating a guy because he seems good on paper.

Think of it like being the fat chick a guy calls when he needs to bust a nut at 2am and wants you out before anyone finds out vs the girl he's giddy around and showing off to all his friends. Geniune desire just feels different from someone selecting you out of convenience or because you offer some utility to them. For those that have seen or experience the difference, it's hard to just accomplish the later unless your truly desperate and will just take whatever you can get. It's also very unlikely you can build a lifelong relationship on lukewarm desire.

Podlubnyi · 2024-12-08T01:13:13+00:00

I don't understand why guys here keep aspiring to be the guy that a woman only wants to sleep with and not commit to.

Because men want to be desired, not just used for their resources.

HTML_Novice · 2024-12-07T23:00:42+00:00

Women treat you differently when they desire your body vs your resources. I’ve experienced both and having her desire your body is 2000x better. That’s why men focus on it so much

abaxeron · 2024-12-08T00:11:00+00:00

Putting aside that "Abby" still let "Jock" have sex with her,

We have data across three English-speaking countries showing that women started divorcing men much more as soon as it was decided that marital fault cannot affect division of assets.

In the US, the "second wave" of divorces reached historical all-time high 13 years later, after it was additionally decided that 10 years in marriage entitle a woman to partial spousal retirement benefits even after divorce.

You can look up yourself if prenup expiration is associated with divorce.

We think women's "attraction to ambition" is not genuine because of how often women grab the fruits of ambition and leave the guy.

I was blessed enough to meet the right person at the lowest point of my life. If I was single and looking for an LTR today, "What do you do for a living" as the first question on a date would compel me to get up and leave.

Pray tell, why should we take your "I have a friend" word over decades of nationwide observable behavior?

icxcnika1 · 2024-12-07T23:23:15+00:00

My money is not a part of me. It's just a resource that I currently possess but I can always lose it. If a woman doesn't want to be with me anymore if I lose my money, she never wanted to be with me anyway. She wanted to be with my money.

I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than have a partner like that.

Adventurous-Ruin3873 · 2024-12-07T23:39:05+00:00

I get confused on this sub when men make it seem like women can't physically be attracted to a guy's earning potential.

This is a nonsensical sentence. At that point you're not attracted to the guy. You're attracted to something that you perceive you can get by being with the guy. You're attracted to material objects, not the person.

No woman dates a rich guy thinking, "I'm just so turned on by his ambition that led to his big bank account. I don't really need any of that money. Just it existing is super sexy to me."

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-12-08T00:54:01+00:00

Why do men have this perception that going after financial stability = women finding a man ugly?

If women were finding that man attractive - they'd show interest in him before he became financially stable.

Attraction predates everything. Women were throwing themselves at attractive men for eternity before such abstractions like money, property and even stability were formulated. Women knew who's attractive and who isn't before humans invented speech.

Our hunter-gatherer evolutionary "hardware" has no means to know what the fuck is "money" and being a "survival provider" in stone age does not equate to modern day wealth and financial stability on the primal brain functions level at all.

I don't understand why guys here keep aspiring to be the guy that a woman only wants to sleep with and not commit to.

Sleeping is commitment. Letting a man to plant his seed inside her uterus is the only true form of commitment women can offer biologically.

So, I think that women who say they are attracted to wealth / financial stability are just lying or coping with the fact that they are willing to basically sell their bodies for getting higher on consumerism ladder.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-12-08T00:16:19+00:00

Yes I agree that these aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

Ideally women would prefer a guy who's rich and attractive however many of them will settle for someone who's rich and unattractive especially if they're getting desperate to get married and have kids.

That's where the idea of beta bucks comes from.

I think what you're saying though is that women can find being rich on its own attractive. I mean they can but it doesn't override physical looks, being rich doesn't make up for not being chad. It's a different type of attraction separate to physical attraction, similar to how women are attracted to confidence.

SadCahita · 2024-12-08T01:19:33+00:00

Why is that you guys think that women choosing men for financial reasons over aesthetic reasons means that the woman finds the man unnattractive?

read your introductory sentence very slowly

Sholnufff · 2024-12-08T01:19:43+00:00

When a woman choose finances and not the man's authentic self, most women in this scenario will only like the man for what he does. Therefore the loyalty is only conditional and thus hypergamy is a possibility.

If you hear red pill talk, this is why they talk about alpha chad vs beta male provider. As long as the provider is providing adequately, she will stay. When a woman is with someone she is truly into and respects, a damn nuclear bomb wouldn't separate them.

Don't get me wrong, a man that provides can have a woman for a long time. It's just she doesn't give that intense passion and other intricate intangibles as often as she would the Alpha Chad.

meisterkraus · 2024-12-07T23:45:03+00:00

Why do women get upset when viewed as a hole?

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-12-07T23:20:13+00:00

Thanks for the post. I didn't understand how a woman percieve attraction toward the income of a man. For a man, the income of a woman have zero effect to her attractiveness. So men generally think women "tolerate" ugly guys because they are rich (especially when you see a young girl with a very old man)

I don't understand why guys here keep aspiring to be the guy that a woman only wants to sleep with and not commit to. I feel like it's the exact opposite for women.

That's it, in general men will look for a lot of sexual opportunities with different partners with little commitment. And women are looking for commitment with the less sexual opportunities. Marriage is a balance of the two: a man will offert his support to a woman for the rest of her life if the woman offert sex to the man for the rest of his life

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Altruistic_Ad_0 · 2024-12-07T23:20:17+00:00

Agreed. You are absolutely right that both looks and money matters. Looks get you short term relationships. Money gives you long term relationships. Both gives you Mr. Right. I am a man, and I seek out earning potential in women. If you are going to tell me do you want a woman with or without money. I am going to choose the woman with money. The more good things we hear about someone we like the more we say yes. Male or Female. But that is just me. To me I am working for my future kids. If my wife stops working that is probably grounds for divorce under the right circumstances. Other guys do not think it is as important.

If someone has to find the right balance of money and looks then they have to be luckier than most or make a compromise. Because while men and women can have sky high standards. Those standards will never change the area under the curve. People who have both good looks and good finances must necessarily be a rarer combination than just one or the other. That is all I will say. I have not personally heard anyone say that a rich man has to be ugly. In relationships as you mentioned it is probably best to find someone who is at your level. Somewhere in the ball park of equality. So we can pick out lots of things we like about them and share in relatively balanced mutual attraction.

But what I think is important is life not going the way we plan. We can be be ambitious. But life happens and it is important in relationships to understand what our deal breakers are. And when we would leave a person. These are generally things we do not want to think about when we are in love. But sooner or later we will think about it. And you can either be prepared or not to deal with these things. Should an ambitious man fall on hard times is this enough for the woman in question to leave? Or will she be his companion? If a woman is not the person who she used to be when is it time for him to go? I have personally had experience being in relationships where this level of communication or reflection is not there. It is a surprise to at least one person when they leave.

Fan_Service_3703 · 2024-12-08T00:00:13+00:00

Before I met my GF I was drunk in a bar with a friend and we got talking to two women. One of them was exactly my type physically. However, once we realised they were younger than we thought they were and were university students, I just wasn't interested in pursuing anything with her.

It's OK to have values and to seek partners with similar values, and to prefer not to get involved physically with people who you know won't be compatible long term partners.

Money in itself does not contribute to sex appeal. If she finds you attractive (which doesn't always mean muscular chad) it will be a non-issue providing you contribute something.

MasterAd6260 · 2024-12-08T01:44:39+00:00

Because that’s how men view 50/50 women or financially stable boss babes compared to the trophy gf type of women.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-12-08T05:45:21+00:00

More traits you want - less people are suitable for you. So you have to choose one trait at expense of others. And "being financially stable" isn't a personality trait at all. Just a result of your ability to make right decisions and being in right place in right time.

Proudvow · 2024-12-08T06:25:29+00:00

She did end up messing with him physically once

And there you go. She banged him without commitment. Money guy would have to commit to bang, therefore he is not sparking the same amount of raw attraction.

I don't understand why guys here keep aspiring to be the guy that a woman only wants to sleep with and not commit to.

The man who succeeds with the least investment wins.

There are more men in relationships than men capable of having casual sex, so it's not as special.

Most guys (and most of us here) aren't rich so most women won't be putting up with you for money. The majority of women will be dating the average guy because she has some base line level of attraction to him.

Base line isn't enough. Pure lust is the ideal.

TopShelfSnipes · 2024-12-08T13:38:09+00:00

I always explain this with a metaphor:

Alpha traits like hotness, confidence, sex appeal, social competency, fun, sense of humor, talent in the bedroom are a match.
Beta traits like provider capability, good mother/father traits, stability, financial acumen, etc. are lighter fluid.

Without the match, there's no fire. Without the lighter fluid, the fire is brief and burns itself out very quickly. People who chase financial stability to the detriment of all else end up in dead bedrooms.

If you score high on beta traits and you want the other sex to want to fuck you, work on your alpha traits. If you score high on alpha traits and can't figure out why the other sex won't commit to you long term, work on your beta traits.

It's not complicated.

Currentlycurious1 · 2024-12-07T23:08:49+00:00

I don't understand why guys here keep aspiring to be the guy that a woman only wants to sleep with and not commit to

Because

we want to be wanted in the same way we want women. Guys will melt for a women for a pretty face and body. So, we want to be wanted that same way and will go to the gym and get expensive hair cuts and try and dress fashionably hoping that a women will see us and lust after us the same way we list after them
The authenticity pill. We want to be wanted for who we are and for the standards that are explicitly stated in society. When womem say they want authenticity and ambition? Dope, I just got 1500 elo in chess. Dope, I just got diamond in league. Dope, I just read untranslated Brothers Karamazov. Oh, that's not what they meant?
then there's women supporting dismantling the patriarchy and capitalism.... Except in dating where they're addicted to chasing those at the top of the socioeconomic ladder. What happened to egalitarianism? Why are concerned about feeling like the "man" in the relationship.

nightcall379 · 2024-12-08T01:11:09+00:00

She did end up messing with him physically once but after that they stopped completely.

The memes write themselves Lmao

haaku-san · 2024-12-08T18:46:56+00:00

Money does not equal sex appeal. Sex appeal is physical attractiveness. These are two different things. money does not make a guy more sexy.

even in your story, your friend still got physical with the guy. Why would she do that if she weren't sexually attracted to him? Bit of a contradiction there with what your friend said. This is why some guys say something along the lines of look at her actions, not her words.

A beta buxx provider wouldn't have gotten that chance to get physical with her. A beta buxx provider would be in a sexless relationship with your friend.

Maybe there are girls that have a fetish for rich guys and get wet when they look at a guys bank account, but that sounds like a special case.

Livid-Log7463 · 2024-12-08T22:39:34+00:00

Your money isn’t even a part of you, so if someone is attracted to you for money that aren’t even attracted to a part of you just an asset you have in an entirely worse way then even a singular physical aspect of yourself.

_trust_me_bruh_ · 2024-12-09T00:31:23+00:00

Find me a real-life man that actually has this view. I'll wait.

_trust_me_bruh_ · 2024-12-09T00:32:55+00:00

The men with these views you're talking about only exist on the internet. That's why they're smashing away at their keyboards and not in the real world.

Any man in the real dating space will not have these views.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2024-12-09T01:37:05+00:00

I feel like it's that not making enough money as a man can make you unattractive, but the reverse isn't true (i.e., making a lot of money as an unattractive man won't make you attractive). Bill Gates was already a billionaire as a 32-year-old bachelor, but that didn't make him a sex symbol.

Title	Why do men have this perception that going after financial stability = women finding a man ugly?
Author	Anonsfavourite
Upvotes	0
Comments	163
Date	December 7, 2024 10:55 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1h94jv7/why_do_men_have_this_perception_that_going_after/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-men-have-this-perception-that-going-after.1537897 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537897

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