Dating advice post: "Is it weird to travel an hour just to walk around looking for girls to talk to?" - do you consider this a normal thing to do?

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-10-30T23:27:43+00:00

I wouldn't consider it normal, but a lot of people go out just to potentially meet other people, so it seems like whatever is considered socially acceptable is normal even if it wouldn't seem like it is.

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-10-31T01:21:51+00:00

It's weird but so what. What else would he be doing? Good luck.

TheMailmanic · 2021-10-31T06:37:58+00:00

Normal? No

But successful people rarely do 'normal' things

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-10-30T23:55:38+00:00

Traveling to a nearby city to socialize and meet people is a perfectly normal thing to do. But his time would probably be better spent going to bars or festivals/events etc. than just wandering around aimlessly and trying to talk to random women on the street.

Blackheart201992 · 2021-10-31T08:46:03+00:00

Nothing unusual about that. I'm serious, btw. Relationships don't just happen for guys, they have to make them happen.

Here's the thing though: you're expected to act as though this isn't the case, like you just stumble onto relationships and sexual encounters the way women do.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-10-31T01:50:22+00:00

Traveling just to do that? It damn sure ain't normal lol

Perseus_the_Bold · 2021-10-31T00:40:27+00:00

Yes it is weird as hell, but then again, I also see a bunch of old dudes go to the park just to feed ducks and I myself like going to the park, the country, or the beach alone just to smoke my pipe and write on my leather bound journal, and perhaps pelt the ducks with some of my rye bread if I am eating lunch.

So I’m planning tomorrow on taking the train to the city to I guess walk around aimlessly looking for girls to strike up a convo with. Is this weird at all? Or am I just thinking too much."

This is exactly what a creep would do, first of all. It also shows an utter lack of basic social skills.

Like how exactly do you plan on talking to strange girls once you get there? "Hi! I just traveled for an hour to get here with the intention to hookup? Whassup girl!" Jesus dude! This is facepalm territory.

There is just no way this is going to end well for you because the first thing women wanna know is what you're all about and if they get the inkling that you are only there for the sole purpose of aimlessly meeting girls that is going to set off so many alarms and red flags in their head that the fire dept is gonna show up.

The fact that you don't comprehend nor have a basic instinctual feeling as to why this is such a bad idea attests to your lack of social skills which is guaranteed to turn off not just women but basically everyone.

Here is a better idea my guy: Go to a fun place like a park of a beach or anywhere that's fun with some male friends and just hang out! Do not make women your priority, instead meet and greet them organically, naturally, and as a consequence of you being there instead of your intention for being there. Women feel more comfortable if they know you are not there alone, and being there with friends places a reason for you being there in the first place; she's not going to imagine you're some weirdo wandering alone prowling for women. If she sees you're there with friends she feels less apprehensive about talking to you.

So here is my advice:

Get some good male friends - make the right kind of male friends, don't just befriend assholes or losers who are going to shit on your life.
Learn basic social skills. Learn basic manners, your basic please and than yous, get it in your head that other people have their own lives and that they don't know you. So don't act with strangers as you would act in front of someone who already knows you.
Learn to groom well, improve your social etiquette, drop the dudebro street lingo, refine your speech, and learn basic non-fidgety composure through a relaxed yet alert demeanor.
Get it into your head that meeting nice girls should always be a consequence and NEVER the goal. What this means is that meeting women should be something that happens as a result of you doing something else. For example, meeting new women at some company event (from work) meeting new girls while you're out with the boys, or meeting new girls through mutual friends. In all of these instances you are not purposely seeking a woman. You are just meeting them through the natural course of everyday life. If you are purposely seeking women this will always, always, come off as thirsty and off putting.

I am telling you all of this as a MGTOW who intentionally avoids women and yet I fucking keep meeting them, to my chagrin! So I can tell you for a fact that meeting women happens naturally even when you intentionally do not want to meet them if you have all the basics down. Get your life together first. Build yourself, build your life first! Because if you build it, they will come. "They'll come to you for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up at your driveway, not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door, as innocent as children longing for the past." (1)

Always remember, meeting women should always be a consequence of you doing right in your own life; and never as your goal for which the rest of your life revolves around.

purplish_possum · 2021-10-30T23:45:56+00:00

You do what you have to do. If you live in an area with few opportunities to socialize you have to travel. I've driven hours for a night on the town many times.

KarmaChameleonian · 2021-10-31T02:46:39+00:00

No it's not normal. He should go to social events, not walking around chatting up strangers.

S0mnariumx · 2021-10-31T04:17:03+00:00

This guys going to get an iced coffee thrown in his face I can feel it.

michael1962-01 · 2021-10-31T08:43:56+00:00

Actually back in the 80s we drove an hour each Friday and / or Saturday to the big city disco to get a lay....

Worked fine.

And_Rue · 2021-10-30T23:53:58+00:00

This guy actually wants to talk to women? That is definitely not normal.

FarWestNationalParks · 2021-10-31T01:49:30+00:00

Better than sitting on his ass. Good for him.

CimZim · 2021-10-30T23:34:37+00:00

So I’m planning tomorrow on taking the train to the city to I guess walk around aimlessly looking for girls to strike up a convo with. Is this weird at all? Or am I just thinking too much.

Unfortunately, I think our dude is not thinking enough.

No, it's not normal.

No, I wouldn't encourage any friends to do this.

If my Magic 8 Ball told me he'd be successful...how? Successful in talking to a random chick on a sidewalk an hour away from home? No, he can do that here and save the money.

goochiegg · 2021-10-31T02:30:15+00:00

That's a stupid waste of time and gas . Most of them don't want to talk and cold approaching only works for good looking people most of the time. You are better of just joining activities you like and maybe meeting a girl i guess

social_mule · 2021-10-30T23:44:50+00:00

The way he worded it was awkward but he's going to the big city to sight see and people watch. If he's lucky he'll meet a nice girl, strike up a conversation and perhaps something more will become of it.

Sounds like a young man being a young man to me. Nothing abnormal about it at all.

sunkized · 2021-10-31T04:53:31+00:00

I've done this because I have no other options. I have zero luck on dating apps. I driven hours to diffrent bars, only to cry in my car.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-31T09:28:42+00:00

I lived in Manhattan and women and men would definitely go out of their way to come to the city for the nightlife because living in Jersey or Long Island sucks. So yeah it's totally normal.

Hoopy223 · 2021-10-31T00:01:23+00:00

Lol only on Reddit would going into town to hang out & look for girls be considered a “weird” thing to do.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-30T23:38:04+00:00

Wow. Definitely don't say this to any of the girls you try to talk to lol

resultsmatter1 · 2021-10-31T14:40:13+00:00

Sure don’t go up to women and be like “Hi I traveled an hour here just to meet and talk to random women” cause that is weird but let’s cut my man some slack on going to the city and trying to meet people.

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-10-31T16:19:32+00:00

If this is a sure fire way for him to meet women and be successful, then fuck it have at it. My policy on when someone says a strategy works for them, then that’s good enough for me and I won’t deter it provided it’s not using the Bill Cosby method or doing anything too bad to hurt the women.

But if it’s not like a slam dunk, then no I wouldn’t recommend it.

Jakes1967 · 2021-10-31T16:33:02+00:00

do you consider this a normal thing to do?

Are we that repressed, that speaking to a stranger is weird?

Whilst in the military, on weekends I used to travel to different towns and cities, just to escape the brown & green of army life.

There was a great gym with a juice bar, where you could relax after your workout and sauna. Met more than a few lovely ladies, one even started talking to me, due to my poor cuticle care.

I used to go to cocktail lounges to listen to and engage in political discussions. Campuses were great for this too, especially as the guys were usually wimps and we were more than a little weathered. We also used to help out at the various varsity festivals etc.

Upmarket coffee shops were brilliant places to talk to baristas and the various book shops and libraries were a treasure trove of "forgotten bookworms" and the obvious librarians.

The strangest encounter was with a newly divorced woman, at a coffee shop. She was trying to buy a new wardrobe and failing abysmally, thus sitting outside clearly having been crying. We had a lot of fun that weekend, shopping for her new wardrobe, which she insisted on modelling...

Kentucky_Supreme · 2021-10-31T21:34:33+00:00

Doesn't sound anymore weird than swiping strangers faces on your pocket computer so you can match and then never talk to each other.

Master-Edward-3 · 2021-10-31T23:51:42+00:00

Why wouldn’t it be normal? Is it not the common discount canned advice blue pillers give to the men whom struggle? LoL “Go out on an adventure brother chump! If you’d just go out on the lawn smell the flowers and then fly to skull island you’d see all kinds of women dating cyclops, wizards and vampires and shit. Anybody can do it but you are mysogynistically stuck handcuffed to the basement Xbox sadly.”

But in all seriousness I’d say if the fellow can manage it then that too is fair game.. No different than traveling overseas or another city to increase your odds of finding the one. You never know where your compatible counterpart might be. Odds are they are not around the corner anyhow.

Ohmaygahh · 2021-11-01T15:28:29+00:00

Don't listen to the negative Debbie Downers here. Perfectly normal. Go forth and be pro social my dude. Live your best life.

CriticalEscapeBike · 2021-10-30T23:24:18+00:00

It is normal for any single male (interested in women) to fly across the country to have a chance to speak with a girl.

TheRedPillRipper · 2021-10-31T00:23:07+00:00

If you knew for a fact he’d be successful

If he approached enough women; he would be. Is this though the best approach to meeting women? Not by a long shot. I say this too, as someone who’s met numerous people randomly and created new relationships.

The best way to meet potential partners is through your networks. Professional and personal. His time would be far better invested building new and enlarging his current networks. Through hobbies. Through parties and social gatherings. Then vetting girls who are interested.

Godspeed and good luck!

ToughAnswers · 2021-10-30T23:19:55+00:00

Seems weird but dry spells manifest themselves in all kinds of weird ways like fuck just pay a hooker already it's even decriminalized there now

SuperSupremeKai · 2021-10-31T00:07:36+00:00

Normal.
No. Chances of his advances being misinterpreted as harassment is high.
Then yeah, if the risk was truly zero.

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OddChocolate_ · 2021-10-31T01:01:13+00:00

Not weird at all. Getting out there "in it" is the best way to go. Just be careful and smart about your procedure.

Don't let any of the "fine" people of PPD dissuade from living your life.

Playful_Dig8694 · 2021-10-31T04:15:21+00:00

Yes. It’s disgusting. Find better things to do.

BMTEJ · 2021-10-31T04:56:09+00:00

I wouldn’t do this. I’d rather move to the city and immerse myself in activities, so I have a better chance year round of meeting multiple people through connections and being about everyday than traveling an hour to work on social skills for a day.

You’ll get far more out of a year of living there than a day of frolicking around

browngirlprodigy · 2021-10-31T08:04:18+00:00

yes thats freaking weird lmao

AreOut · 2021-10-31T08:42:55+00:00

Yes..the basic advice is not to approach a single girl but girls in group because they'll feel lot safer when they are not alone and thus more open for conversaiton with a stranger.

Also show more interest in one you are not interested in. Works wonders.

Siukslinis_acc · 2021-10-31T10:53:50+00:00

The weird part is going to some place just to look for girls to talk to. Not weird would be to go to the city for sightseeing (places, not girls), shopping, some kind of an event and while doing that chatting with people (girls included).

I have this image in my head that rural places have more people open to random chatting than city folk. City folk have many places to go to for entertainment, while rural people have less of that so they just chat with other people for entertainment. City people feel more buisyer that rural people, always hurrying somewhere.

Also, if you have no clue how to meet girls around you, what makes you think you have a clue how to meet "foreign" girls (as in girls from a different city than you). With girls around you you have at least one thing in common, from which conversation might evolve, - your homeplace.

Reisiluu · 2021-10-31T11:29:54+00:00

What a weirdo. Are these men not motivated by anything else the world has to offer? There are cafés, gardens, mountains, zoos, old streets, cruise ships, national parks, festivals and countless other beautiful and interesting places to experience. And he walks an hour... to say hi to women.

Next time any of you wants to fantasize that promiscuity is going to stop a woman from marrying, remember that men like this exist.

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2021-10-31T11:42:41+00:00

Yes it's fine by me. If you want to meet women you gotta do it someway or the other.

silent36 · 2021-10-31T13:14:54+00:00

For that sole purpose yes. PUA teaches that but Red Pill is mostly against it. You’re suppose to go out with friends or do an activity for yourself and speak to women on the way or at the venue.

AquaChip · 2021-10-31T13:25:16+00:00

This is incredibly weird.

StarchRunner · 2021-10-31T14:43:07+00:00

Why do you need our validation for normalcy?

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-10-31T16:26:45+00:00

No its not normal.

Yes I would encourage him.

No, it wouldn't change my answer. I think young guys should go out in public to cold approach, even if they aren't going to be successful.

neetykeeno · 2021-10-31T17:57:30+00:00

It you are lacking something it is normal to look for the thing you lack.

Whether he should spend so much time depends what it is displacing in his life. If it is displacing playing a few video games or watching sport on a screen it would be an upgrade even if it was just to go look at shops and scenery. If it is displacing doing homework or staying connected with family or staying fit then it isn't good value to do on a regular basis.

Look...I am probably not the one to ask because I will travel an hour on public transport just to go see a new railway station. No shit. I have done that. Ooooooh the railway line that goes all the way out the other side of town has a new station added at the end? Let's go! Let's look at google maps, see what else is to be seen out that way!

Seriously, leaving the house is good for you. Unless you catch covid. Also he probably should aim for something more than aimless wandering and talking. Maybe look for some community event to attend. Idk. Yes I recommend he change up his locations to help break out of a situation that isn't progressing as he likes. Travel broadens the mind. To paraphrase Bruce Springsteen "there's something happening somewhere I just know there is"

Approaching girls in public is not likely to be successful unless he puts some thought in. He should still leave the house.

AbuJavascript · 2021-10-31T18:47:58+00:00

0% this works unless he's a hot guy, and if he has to do this then he probably isn't a hot guy.

Lurid_Lurker · 2021-10-31T19:55:24+00:00

It's not normal, as in it's not the norm.
I would want to protect him harsh disappointment.
If I knew for a fact he would be successful I would encourage him to do it.

SKY_ACTIV3 · 2021-10-31T21:50:53+00:00

Obviously the linked sub is garbage, 90% of the posts there are meaningless rants/venting and there is such little dating advice that it’s crazy. It’s like they’re just salivating at the thought of pointing out how ignorant he is without actually taking the time to steer him in the right direction.

Let’s look at what this guy should actually be told. Walking around NYC by yourself approaching random women is not only weird and abnormal, but it’s not gonna work. I’m not even in a position to say if “cold approaching” has ever been a good strategy, but the way this guy seems… he’s got a ways to go socially. His head is definitely in the wrong place, and he’s probably been given some crap advice.

He needs a good circle of friends to go out with. Restaurants, bars, and clubs are filled with young people trying to meet others. Even a small crew of like 3 guys can bar hop and chat up random people, and it’s far more fun than doing it all by yourself. Hell, you can hop on the apps and meet up with people while you’re both out. Just do something so you aren’t all by yourself, scouting out random women during the day.

He’s a decent looking dude. With a small social circle and the right set of bars, he’ll do great. I have been to NYC many, many times, but not a single time was I all by myself. I can’t imagine how much of a waste of time traveling an hour to a nearby city is and wandering around aimlessly would be, especially all by myself.

NotTheBestMoment · 2021-10-31T22:15:37+00:00

Maybe go to the bars dude, not just the street

ThisBoringLife · 2021-10-31T23:04:29+00:00

Compared to my level of normal? Not at all.

I still think doing something like a meetup is easier, than you have a group of people that's more open to approach. I wouldn't recommend, but I wouldn't discourage. After all, worst you get is a trip to Manhattan and associated travel costs.

If he was successful (either luck or pure charisma, or both), cheers to dude.

brownmojo · 2021-10-31T23:22:40+00:00

No it's not normal and the guy is just going to leave feeling bad about himself. Unless you are very attractive, this simply just does not work. He should be focusing on getting male friends and working out, his career, etc. Once he starts doing those things, he'll start to get choosing signals and it will be very obvious which girls want to talk to him.

Cold approaching is cringe af these days and anyone over 21 years old needs to realize it's extremely risky.

heyitsjeape · 2021-11-01T00:46:44+00:00

I personally wouldn’t do it and whether it’s “normal,” or not is not a good question. That said, if you live in a place with very few candidates why would you blame someone for going to another place with more? I live in a small town and can see why someone would do this out of necessity.

baeyayrea · 2021-11-01T06:04:09+00:00

Not weird to want to meet people or to go into a city to do so, but your plan to just wander around talking to random women is weird, and likely unwelcome and unproductive. Find events that encourage conversations where people will obviously be there for the purpose of meeting others instead of just harassing women on the street and demanding their time / energy and engagement without it being a appropriate setting to do so.

PopularBug5 · 2021-11-01T14:05:46+00:00

Look for people to talk to, not just girls. People can see that you are girl-hunting and will try to avoid you. Don't look that desperate for female attention.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-11-01T15:26:27+00:00

Yeah, it is weird because it is so low probability and unsustainable that it shows total desperation, and is a red flag that something is wrong with him.

Just meeting a girl is unlikely, and then it turning into something sustainable given the distance is super unsustainable. Also, cold approaching a girl in the middle of the day is low percentage for even attractive and capable men, and has a high risk of being annoying to the woman. That is why people should only do it rarely. You really have to feel that once in a blue moon attraction to a woman to do it. If men were doing it all the time women would have a fucking revolution because it would be such an annoyance and disruption to their lives.

The obvious thing to do is work on himself while doing his best where he lives, like normal guys. If he truly somehow lives in an area within an hour of NYC that has zero chance for meeting women, then eventually he moves, like most guys would.

Would it still be weird if he were guaranteed to meet a woman this way? Maybe. Depends on the costs and reward. If he has to ask 50 girls to get a phone number, then still fucking weird. He's disrupting 49 lives to get a phone number that may not pan out. He's turning himself into a psychopath by melting away all fear of rejection. Fear of rejection exists because having some degree of it is adaptive to being a decent fucking human. Giving truly zero fucks about rejection turns you into a very odd and possibly dangerous person, and if all men had zero approach anxiety, life would be intolerable. Learning to control and limit approach anxiety is one thing; training for the stalker Olympics is another.

However, if you could guarantee that going into town and approaching say 3-4 girls guaranteed going home with one of them that day to fuck, well that would be different. Then it wouldn't be weird, but the world where that could happen would be weird as fuck. I mean we'd all be going to Manhattan all the time. It would be a literal Sodom or Gomorah and the government would have to nuke it into a pillar of salt or something to prevent total societal collapse.

JALopo1 · 2021-11-01T18:08:03+00:00

Ah yes modernity where people have to make long trips to talk to another human being yay

Whisper · 2021-11-04T04:31:55+00:00

If you don't do something unusual, you won't get any unusual results.

Title	Dating advice post: "Is it weird to travel an hour just to walk around looking for girls to talk to?" - do you consider this a normal thing to do?
Author	brilliant22
Upvotes	13
Comments	122
Date	October 30, 2021 11:17 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qjd0qw/dating_advice_post_is_it_weird_to_travel_an_hour/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-advice-post-is-it-weird-to-travel-an-hour.1080891 https://theredarchive.com/post/1080891

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