Do women care about men keeping nudes they've received from women in the past?

FlamingZebraFace · 2022-01-30T12:53:25+00:00

No woman wants her bf to look at nudes of her ex - like c'mon man..does this need to be pointed out?

CrazyBaby8891 · 2022-01-30T08:19:40+00:00

Yes. Any lingering attachment to exes is a dealbreaker because that's major baggage that I wouldn't personally be willing to tolerate (I didn't have such baggage myself either.) If you're truly so invested in your "girl", you won't be keeping other "girls" (especially any you've personally dated and/or hooked up with) on file.

Also, PSA to the women who send nudes to their bfs: You have no idea who else will see those without your consent even after you've broken up, so it's better to simply not do that.

spinsterchachkies · 2022-01-30T11:35:53+00:00

Yes they do. It is a bit weird. But I have a pretty large collection of nudes from ex lovers myself. And they are all jacked hot guys under age 30. I sometimes feel like a creep. I start to wonder what my boyfriend would think if he saw this folder of pictures knowing these are men I had sex with and sometimes maybe I masturbate to their pictures …Meh I shouldn’t care right? Yeah who cares? Totally innocent

cowfishAreReal · 2022-01-30T07:00:46+00:00

I wouldn't like it, probably wouldn't date a men that does that. Watching porn or having a collection of nudes from people you dont personally know is fine, keeping nudes from exes is not.

lonely_mixtape · 2022-01-30T08:13:06+00:00

uhh yea. I would be bothered. I would not want my ex keeping nude pics of me. I would understand if it was smthn my bf just forgot to delete, but a collection? That's really disturbing to me. Why would you need to keep nudes from exes? Porn is easily accessable and far less creepy. Do you think all of your exes would be fine knowing you're keeping and potentially jerking off to nude photos of them?

AquaChip · 2022-01-30T07:14:20+00:00

It doesn’t matter what we say, you aren’t going to delete them. The best thing a woman could do is never share nudes in the first place.

SnooCats37 · 2022-01-30T08:36:04+00:00

I think it’s pretty gross to have a collection of nudes. I also think it’s disrespectful to the women who trusted you in the moment to send them.

nemma88 · 2022-01-30T10:58:00+00:00

Yeah, they're the most intimate time of a previous relationship and people don't generally like people carrying torches for the old flames. I go through and delete intimate (romantic and sexual) pics of past flames, even if I don't care about them it could hurt a new flame for obvious reasons.

There's no logical reason to even keep them if you don't even look at them, if they don't mean anything, is there ? I understand sometimes people forget but some insist both that they don't care for them and they want to keep them which means something is being rationalized.

NarniaFox · 2022-01-30T07:35:56+00:00

That would concern me, but I wouldn't date a guy who has had flings to start with. That's not really my cup of tea.

I also think that deleting any nudes/videos you've got from your exes is a decent thing to do, although you aren't obliged to. It's decent towards your exes and it's decent towards your current partner.

Would you be okay with your partner keeping her exes' nudes?

GwenXi · 2022-01-30T07:43:40+00:00

its weird.

goatismycopilot · 2022-01-30T15:19:21+00:00

The issue is you were dumb enough to get caught looking at them.

RabbitNRaccoon · 2022-01-30T07:49:54+00:00

I wouldn't consider dating someone who did this. It's a deal breaker. I believe that when it's over, move on. People who are sentimental about mementos from relationships from the past are weird AF to me.

I don't do it. And Id expect a partner not to either.

chromie96 · 2022-01-30T10:04:38+00:00

Ehhh. I'm not sure how i feel about it. To me there's a difference between jerking it to some random pornstar and jerking it to someone you used to have an emotional connection with. I know i wouldn't like it if he did keep em.

Diddy_1978 · 2022-01-30T12:23:55+00:00

I don’t care. But I don’t send nudes and those girls who sent them are naive.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-01-30T15:59:30+00:00

Yeah, it’s weird. Not so much from a “cheating” perspective if you’re not looking at them, but keeping nude photos of exes after you broke up as some kind of collection is creepy and disrespectful to both the ex and the new partner. That’s a relic of something intimate that was shared with you, in confidence, under much different circumstances. Sure, nobody can force you to delete them, but you have to stop and ask yourself what purpose they serve. I know I would not want to see a nude photo of any of my exes, it seems icky after you’ve broken up.

As a side note, ladies this is why sending nudes is a bad idea if you care about this sort of thing. Some guys will also share them and make fun of your body. Never assume just because he’s your boyfriend it’s safe, unfortunately.

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-01-30T17:49:13+00:00

Jesus. Never tell your partner that you keep your ex's nudes.

FireGodGoesSeeknFire · 2022-01-31T01:44:34+00:00

Honestly I can't imagine getting ride of my old nudes, sexts and memoriablia. It would feel like betrayal. I just keep it in a secure storage with old taxes and other financial stuff.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-30T06:58:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

januaryphilosopher · 2022-01-30T11:22:24+00:00

It's common etiquette that you delete someone's nudes after the end of a relationship. If they're just sitting there and you have no interest in looking at them, I fail to see what's keeping you from deleting them. And if you are looking at them, it's not good for you in terms of moving on from the past, never mind anything else.

heyitsjeape · 2022-01-30T17:53:58+00:00

As a 40 year-old guy who has never received a naked picture from a female, I’m keeping that first one if I ever get it. I’ve waited 40+ years for it, I’m definitely keeping it as a souvenir.

EdessaKandros · 2022-01-30T07:35:44+00:00

If the pictures are of women that look like me I would be fine with it. If they are women that look completely different from me I might feel a bit insecure.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-30T07:46:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

biglettuce09 · 2022-01-30T07:36:00+00:00

It feels like you still want to Keep apart of them. If I can do the same thing with guys nudes then fine

moonbitch1123 · 2022-01-30T09:31:28+00:00

It is simple; just ask them. What is sexy about jerking to photos of someone who doesn’t want you to have them?

chocomochi21 · 2022-01-30T14:31:43+00:00

uhm yeah delete them. its about respect to your partner + not being creepy in general

Demasii · 2022-01-30T07:06:53+00:00

I actually went through and looked at the nudes of my ex's ex once. I had his permission to see them.

I was curious of how other women pose naked. I see it as no difference than looking at porn.

She was stupid according him and family made fun of him for dating her. Relationship ended long ago and I was pretty secure that he loved me.

I would have had a problem if she was still in his life as a friend or coworker. Then I would have made him delete that shit permanently. That's just weird.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-01-30T07:09:57+00:00

If my man had pics of unattractive women I would totally bully him. That's embarrassing.

If they were hot I wouldn't mind. I would probably encourage him to fuck them again.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-01-30T10:54:02+00:00

If you have naked pictures of a woman (irl as opposed to porn) that's not of me it's a deal breaker.

I'm so glad I was done dating pre the whole Snapchat, sending nudes thing. It would be shiity for a guy I broke up with to still have nude photos of me

quiturbitchn · 2022-01-30T13:59:21+00:00

Yeah it’s really weird to hold on to them. Standard practice should be to fully delete them when no longer with the person

SweetieCo · 2022-01-30T14:11:49+00:00

Yes... that’s a very weird if I see that. To me it’s a little creepy. Makes no sense to keep a scrapbook of nudes of women you ever had a relationship and even weirder with ones you did. It’s like moves on already.

onJuputerandMars · 2022-01-30T15:56:36+00:00

Let’s be honest and consider that folks we are no longer intimate with may not enjoy knowing that we are hanging on to their nudes. Even if I wanted to keep them, I don’t want to have the awkward experiences of seeking continuous consent from an ex to keep these nudes, so I delete them (if I stored them to begin with).

Furthermore, I don’t enjoy what I think hanging onto these nudes represents. Every person is different, so it could mean different things from person to person, but what does viewing these past nudes with past lovers mean? A reminder of a love or experience no longer obtainable for reasons? An ego boost of a count or quality? In the case of nudes of an ex, the person who received and loved that ex is not you anymore- what are you holding onto? Generally, I’d consider it a red flag.

Maybe there are many men who do this. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are, but I think a lot of men feel similarly to myself on this. The men in my spaces, including myself, strongly advocate against holding onto nudes of folks you are no longer with.

-Giga- · 2022-01-31T02:43:48+00:00

I care and I would stop seeing you as bf/husband material and begin to disengage. The sex would stop; the stage of relationship and how this occured would dictate if its a quick breakup or a methodical monkey branch. Either way it would be beginning of the end which is why it wouldnt envoke a big argument.

I don't date "for fun". I live with intention bc a very high quality of life is critically important to me. As the person who provides that to myself, a partner who is a threat to my sense of security is a non starter.

I know for you and a lot of guys its "just pics" and you never look but for me the important information is about motivations and implications.

"what conditions need to be true for him to do this and what does that mean for me"

In the very least would take

a man comfortable with collecting tokens from intimate partners who trusted him. This is at least a prerequisite for revenge porn men, stalkers, serial killers, men who take pictures of women without consent. Not saying this is you. I am saying this type of man has this in common with those men so red flag
a man more emotionally attached to sex in his past than im ok with. This type of man is often also the type who is also too emotionally attached to exes, but not always. Red flag.
Lets not forget that bc many men think women are a "sub type" of men instead of our own people, a guy too emotionally attached to past sex will likely project onto me as a woman and bring their drama. Red flag.
a man who prioritize these images enough to risk relationships. I'd read that as he sees me as expendable. Dealbreaker.
a man comfortable enough with risking my sense of security. Dealbreaker

For these reasons, I would know we are not compatible where personal values are concerned so there isnt really anything to explain or argue.

I dont believe in asking men to stop watching porn, stop following IG girls, any of that stuff. I think opting in and trying to work with men who are incompatible is lunacy. 9/10 incompatible men will keep choosing themselves first bc men genuinely think emotional sacrifice is a womans job.

Imagine betting on that.

I love happiness so thats a no for me

#ThePinkPill

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-30T08:26:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-01-30T18:19:16+00:00

It's a sign you aren't over that person.

AutoModerator · 2022-01-30T06:51:42+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-30T10:27:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ohdiddly · 2022-01-30T11:32:20+00:00

If you're still looking at them then yeah, that's kinda weird (I don't think it's bad, just a lil strange), but if it's more of a "oh I forgot I even had these on my phone amongst 5000 other pictures" then that makes more sense to me. I personally don't think I'd have an issue with that.

kittenated · 2022-01-30T13:07:02+00:00

Yeah it's creepy to cling onto old nudes of exes in a new relationship imo. If you don't enjoy looking at them anymore, then what's even the point in keeping them? It's not like keeping a dead relative's necklace or something, lol. Plus your exes themselves probably don't want you keeping them either, if you're not together anymore. Seems disrespectful on both sides.

What does it say about you that you'd rather make your current gf feel bad than just delete them? It means exes nudes come before her feelings.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-30T13:33:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CFinCanada · 2022-01-30T13:53:33+00:00

Probably not. Assuming he's not in contact with any of them.

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-01-30T15:35:17+00:00

I’ve always deleted pics and vids I’ve gotten from my ex’s as a curtesy. Mostly as a way to say no hard feelings for the relationship ending and best of luck to you in the future.

death_by_1000_cats · 2022-01-30T15:43:15+00:00

Yes it would bother me. If he just forgot they were on his phone that's one thing. But if he refused to delete them we'd have a problem.

DworkinPill · 2022-01-30T17:29:56+00:00

No problem as long as guys are ok with women keeping pics of an ex‘s big schlong

sarkington · 2022-01-30T18:49:27+00:00

As long as we can get fired for being naked, yes

sweetpeas98 · 2022-01-30T19:30:05+00:00

Question; why do you even keep them? Especially if the photo's you have are of an ex girlfriend.

IcarusKiki · 2022-01-30T22:16:07+00:00

I wouldnt care as long as they didnt actively look at them and fap to them.

0ctoT1t · 2022-01-30T22:51:07+00:00

Yea it’s weird

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-01-31T16:56:21+00:00

And this is why I have never and will never send nudes. If you break up delete them. Realistically there is a woman out there terrified one day you just might do something with them just to mess with her. It was probably one of her first thoughts after you broke up.

Avelinegrace123 · 2022-01-31T19:36:42+00:00

It’s also a huge violation of past partners privacy? Why are you keeping their nudes if you aren’t seeing them anymore

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-09T12:20:18+00:00

I'm concerned about the potential for the photos getting leaked out.

Dangerous-Response44 · 2022-02-09T20:42:54+00:00

Would you like it if she had collections of other mens nudes? Not only that but does the women know you still have their pics? It’s weird, it’s gross, it’s disturbing, it’s plain out disrespectful

Title	Do women care about men keeping nudes they've received from women in the past?
Author	big_clit_phobia
Upvotes	0
Comments	242
Date	January 30, 2022 6:51 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sg37ht/do_women_care_about_men_keeping_nudes_theyve/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-care-about-men-keeping-nudes-theyve.1098959 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098959

Comments