Men and Women - Would you accept your 18yr old daughter to marry a wealthy man significantly older than her?

womandatory · 2022-08-16T19:25:01+00:00

In 10 years she will be absolutely repulsed by him. In 20 years he will have all sorts of health implications.

I would raise my daughter in a way that she wouldn't be so stupid to do that.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-08-16T19:22:27+00:00

Fuck no. I wouldn't approve my daughter marrying anyone as a teenager. And I really wouldn't want a sugar baby lifestyle for her. Hopefully I'll raise my future children to see for themselves how dumb this idea would be.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2022-08-16T20:19:11+00:00

I would absolutely not be okay with it, whether he's wealthy or not has nothing to do with it.

What does a 40-45yr man have in common with an 18yr? I'm 30 and while I've met some perfectly nice 18yr olds I wouldn't date one, we're in periods of our lives where we want different things. I don't care how mature the 18yr old is, they were legally a child a few months ago and still have so much more time for them to grow, change, their brain is going to be developing till they're 25. If someone is 40+ and is on the same level as an 18yr old, they're probably super immature and not someone I'd trust around my kid, even if they were super nice.

So, if they're not dating them because they're just so similar and great together, why would they want to date them? Because they're young, hot and naive. It would be super easy for someone much older and with more resources to be able to manipulate someone who has had little to no experience with the adult world. And most older guys who want to date women that young are def trying to take advantage of how naive they are.

And finally, let's be real, this is borderline pedo shit. It's a variation of ''well, she looks 12, but she's actually a 10 000yr old demon, so it's okay''. Except in this case it's ''well, I know she can't buy a beer and I would have been in jail if I tried this out a month or two ago, but she's 18 now, so it's okay''. Both are technically not pedos, but the veil of plausible deniability is so thin that it's basically non-existent.

arabiandoll · 2022-08-16T19:16:46+00:00

This question makes me uncomfortable

2022-08-16T22:24:47+00:00

No. I would be deeply concerned and not supportive, but I wouldn't outright let her know because I'd want to make sure I'm there to help her if or when she wants to leave.

I also "dated" an older guy when I was 20/21. He was 37. My mother did not like it and was concerned until she realized that I was never realistically going to settle down with the guy and he had no real control over me; we'd met through a mutual hobby and were connected through that and while I enjoyed physically being with him, I never wanted it to be serious due to multiple reasons including the age gap. I never seriously considered him for a ltr because who wants to be 16 years younger than their partner as they age?

Also 18 is way too young to get married imo. People shouldn't even be seriously entertaining that idea until at least 25 unless they're very traditional and religious.

literaryhogwartian · 2022-08-16T19:59:10+00:00

Nope. No 18 year old should be marrying.

Novadina · 2022-08-16T19:15:16+00:00

I wouldn’t want my 18 yr old daughter to marry anyone, that’s way too young to marry. I would think I failed at my job as a parent if that’s what she’s doing when she’s barely left childhood.

I’d expect my hypothetical children to be planning or already in college or starting a career at that stage, and if they wanted to be wealthy hopefully they have a career goal that could achieve that. Relying on marrying isn’t a good plan for that at all, chances are high it would fail and she’d be left with nothing. (What fool wouldn’t have a prenup when marrying a teenager, or allow them control of the money when married even?)

She’s an adult so there wouldn’t be much I could do except highly recommend she not to go through with it, and be there for her when it fails. Some people have to learn their lessons the hard way. I would try to make sure she gets a good lawyer during the divorce.

badsign12 · 2022-08-16T18:57:59+00:00

It's her choice but accept it? No.

catfishchapter · 2022-08-16T18:58:57+00:00

The odds that the relationship falls apart and all she gets is however many years wasted is quite high, so no haha

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-08-16T21:37:24+00:00

She's an adult. I can't stop her

However I strongly disapprove of anyone getting married at 18 and I strongly disapprove of her getting married with an age gap until she's mid 20s.

Why? Because 18 - 21 year olds think they know everything and when they reach their mid 20s and 39s realise that they didn't know Jack shit.

And frankly any man over 30 creeping on the under 20s probably have something wrong with them.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-08-16T19:31:06+00:00

I would not be okay with this.

I would sit my daughter down and tell her my feelings about it: I think it’s a mistake, I think she’s too young, I don’t think it’s healthy, etc.

But I would also tell her that I still love her and support her and I would plan to be there for her when shit hits the fan.

If shit doesn’t hit the fan, and she has a long healthy loving relationship, great.

If shit does hit the fan, she can come home to a good meal and a warm bed and we’d try to help her with the divorce.

I feel like at that point she would be smart enough to recognize her own mistakes without me wagging my finger and saying “I told you so.” Sometimes you have to let kids fuck up on their own and just be there to support them while they learn from their mistakes.

2022-08-16T20:10:00+00:00

I have enough money that she shouldn’t be desperate or stupid enough to get married at 18, to a middle-aged man no less. I also don’t see myself raising someone dumb enough to sign a prenup. If somehow I have raised a moron doing both I have only myself to blame, I suppose

Ok-Map-7596 · 2022-08-16T20:16:22+00:00

I wouldn't want her marrying an 18-year old either. 18 is just too young for something like marriage.

baresquad · 2022-08-16T19:00:22+00:00

I would hope that my daughter is secure enough not to be so desperate to marry at 18. If so, thats a failure on my part

Where would I have gone wrong as a dad to make someone so young want to commit to something as serious as marriage at 18?

Vtridolla · 2022-08-16T18:55:49+00:00

My daughter can make her own decisions. She has a life to live, it’s not mine. So I wouldn’t tell her what she can and cannot do. Though I’m not having that man come around the children in our family. So he’s not welcome to events or holidays. That man predatory af.

Acaciduh · 2022-08-16T19:11:40+00:00

I have a son and a daughter and I wouldn’t want either to be involved in such a giant age gap. I would highly discourage such a relationship. I would hope by the time she’s 18 she would be self assured, independent and confident enough she will be more into studies and dating a man her own age or none at all.

catfishchapter · 2022-08-16T19:12:59+00:00

Ahaha, honey, that's great!

Keep him out of my sight.

wtknight · 2022-08-16T19:55:37+00:00

Not if she were still in high school and living with me. After that, she can do whatever she wants. She’s an adult.

2022-08-16T20:08:30+00:00

If its real and legit love. No sugarbaby/groomer shit. Only then i would approve of a 18-40 year old rich many to marry

ashpr0ulx · 2022-08-16T20:23:00+00:00

How old were they when she started dating? was it like, the day she turned 18? Is he nice to her? Does he treat her well and respect her?

i wouldn’t really want my child marrying anyone at 18, especially if they haven’t been together very long- which this situation (legally) requires to be the case. if she wants to date someone three times her age, she’s legal, i can’t stop her.

but i am going to roast her by constantly comparing him to her dad lmaooo

KayRay1994 · 2022-08-16T21:04:16+00:00

She can do what she wants since she’d be 18, but I wouldn’t be okay with it and probably think there is some level of grooming until proven otherwise

Lisavela · 2022-08-16T21:20:16+00:00

I’m 19 and wouldn’t want my 18 year old friends marrying anyone at that age, she is too young for marriage,when you add the age difference it’s even more concerning.

midwesternMD · 2022-08-16T22:58:47+00:00

18? No.

I wouldn’t want her to be thinking about marriage until after 24ish, at the earliest. There’s a lot of growth and maturation that happens in college and the first few years post college as we settle into adult life. I would not want a hypothetical daughter to make an (ideally) lifetime commitment before she’s had a chance to do that.

I wouldn’t be excited about an 18yo daughter dating a 40yo man, provided I could meet him and assess his character. But I would do this with any man my daughter would want to date. Ultimately, I’m a little more forgiving on age gaps. My parents had a large age gap, and if I remarry/start a family, I’ll probably have a 5+yr age gap myself. Don’t get me wrong, I would be extra concerned about a 40yo. But if an 18yo daughter wanted to date a 25yo guy, I wouldn’t bat an eye.

That said, I would prefer that she dated someone she meets in college so that they can share more life milestones together. And also because ostensibly he’d be in a similar socioeconomic class.

And for me, the wealth of the man she dates is irrelevant. Any kids I have will be debt free for college, and they should know that they can always come to me/hypothetical wife for support in any way.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-08-16T19:06:07+00:00

no I'd give the man a beating for suggesting it. 18 year olds are still quite childlike and there's a huge power imbalance. Also she's spend her 40's as his carer.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-08-16T20:34:36+00:00

no i am american, not a muslim

sarkington · 2022-08-16T19:23:58+00:00

What exactly could I do to stop it ?

catfishchapter · 2022-08-16T18:58:05+00:00

He’d have to be special that’s for sure. 30-35 would be an easier pill to swallow.

learn2earn89 · 2022-08-16T21:35:10+00:00

I would be furious but you can’t force people to do things. I would not want him around me.

pinktuliplover · 2022-08-16T21:37:37+00:00

I would be highly upset and disappointed. I would wonder where I went wrong as a parent, especially as a mother. I always hoped I’d teach my daughter things that I wasn’t taught. If she’s trying to marry a man that much older, I obviously failed.

I would have a serious talk with my daughter. Assuming I’m married, I would expect my husband to confront the older man.

I would probably cry myself to sleep for at least a week.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-08-16T21:50:43+00:00

Fuck. No.

JumboJetz · 2022-08-16T22:16:51+00:00

I wouldn’t be immediately opposed. I’d want to understand their dynamic a bit, make sure he treats her well, make sure she dates him for a long time before committing to him, make sure she understands he will die long before her and she will live potentially decades as a widow or have to be prepared to remarry later.

h1shman · 2022-08-16T23:04:31+00:00

18 is pretty young. Bump that to say 25 and I think that would be fine.

I don’t want to have a daughter but I’d expect myself to raise one that was smart enough to decide that for themselves knowing the possible downfalls.

My blessing would be highly dependent on how he spoke to me and his mannerisms.

domdomdom333 · 2022-08-17T11:02:34+00:00

No. Under the law she might be an adult but mentally there's no way. It's only there so government can have young fit cannon fodder for its armies.

In a way I feel like the minimum age of adulthood should be raised to at least 25. Or have some sort of 2nd phase with protections cause so many 18-25 year old makes life changing mistakes because they just didn't know yet.

Jarxius · 2022-08-17T12:44:25+00:00

I’m currently 19 and 40 is way too old. Like cmon, I wouldn’t want my daughter to become his caretaker on his last years, and be a widow early. What does she even see in him that men a few years younger don’t have? If she’s in her prime she could probably do much better.

I can’t stop her, but I’d let her know what I think about it and hopefully have a serious conversation.

Hoopy223 · 2022-08-16T19:05:09+00:00

She’s an adult. Its not like I can pull the plug on it.

Also if you throw a fit and tell her “you aren’t marrying him!” it makes it even more likely.

WaffleBurner96 · 2022-08-16T19:06:27+00:00

25 yo presently married to a 50 yo here. We have been together for over 6.5 years now, and have a 1 yo.

18 is too young to get married. Id say if my daughter was dating an older, wealthier man for at least 3 years and wanted to marry at 21, she would have my blessings, so to speak. The only things that matter are how she’s being treated, whether she’s happy, and whether he can give her everything she wants in life.

ETA: I would be considerably more opposed to her marrying a scrub that was her own age

DaRealPoopster · 2022-08-16T18:56:42+00:00

It’s not like I can do anything much to convince her otherwise. If she goes, she goes.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-08-16T20:04:25+00:00

She’s an adult. I did my job raising her with our values the best we could. After that she can do what she choses and lives her life. That’s the whole point: you want her to be your CHILD forever?

lucasanderson24689 · 2022-08-16T18:59:59+00:00

Why would anyone care. Men remain fertile all their life and 18 year olds are the most fertile. If she wants to bounce on a 40 year old's cock thats her business

AutomaticMeaning3844 · 2022-08-16T19:11:59+00:00

What are her prospects like? How attractive is she lol?

ashleyrose56 · 2022-08-16T20:03:12+00:00

I aspire to provide and spoil my future daughter so that she will never be in the position of having to prostitute herself.

Zcuzz · 2022-08-16T20:09:25+00:00

If she's set for life at 18, I'll know that I did a good job as a parent.

700horses · 2022-08-16T19:26:59+00:00

Why would a well off 40yr old ever want to marry an 18yr old?

Respectfully… Why buy the cow, if he can get the milk for free?

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Mrs_Drgree · 2022-08-16T19:03:03+00:00

What else could I do?

John_Oakman · 2022-08-16T20:08:22+00:00

Divorce exists, consent could be retroactively withdrawn, and victim narrative can be constructed after the fact.

She'll still have plenty of time after the divorce, and plenty of leverage for her next marriage.

EasternToe3824 · 2022-08-16T21:00:22+00:00

If she is 18, she can do as she pleases. What I failed to teach her by then, she will take lessons from life.

crookedsummer2019 · 2022-08-16T21:22:41+00:00

I wouldn’t want my daughter to be married at 18, regardless of his age. That’s too young but in reality there’s nothing I could do about it as she would not be a minor and it’s legal.

My main concern is if she is happy, loved, and in a healthy relationship where she is free to pursue an education and career if she wants to.

Filmguy000 · 2022-08-16T22:29:58+00:00

Of course. In fact that is the only type of man I would allow my daughter to marry. From the time she turns 18, she will have 7 years to find a husband. And he has to be at least 50 years old, be worth at least 50 million and his name must have "Col." in front (he will be known as the colonel). If she finds no one by the age of 25 she will be assigned as our personal maid/cook and take care of my wife and I in our old age. She will enjoy the company of birds and mice.

2022-08-16T22:56:03+00:00

Yes.

That's just good financial responsibility

poppy_blu · 2022-08-16T23:04:33+00:00

Nope. I wouldn’t let my 18 daughter marry anyone regardless of age, even if she was pregnant. 18 is way too young.

ManzBearzPigzIzRealz · 2022-08-17T00:04:45+00:00

It’d be ridiculous to be ok with an 18 y/o marrying anyone. I better question would be if you’d be ok with your 24 year old daughter marrying a man that was 45+.

EulenWatcher · 2022-08-17T02:45:45+00:00

No, I wouldn't.

2022-08-17T02:59:16+00:00

If there was a long courtship including lots of family interaction. Obviously not like a 40year old prof who seduced her in Freshman English.

2022-08-17T04:35:18+00:00

As young as she is, at 18, she's and adult.

Ohms2North · 2022-08-17T05:01:53+00:00

Sure. If she gives me a cut

2022-08-17T07:20:11+00:00

If we lived some hundred(s) years ago, it would be blessing.

These days, N O

dbz19_kai · 2022-08-17T12:12:27+00:00

Whoever my daughter married, I'd have to know him and judge his character well and get to know him very good. I'd have to know he was a kind, loving, respectable and gentle man. If he was 30 and had these things, then yes. I'd much prefer that to her running off with a punk her own age who didn't love and respect her, but was exciting and dangerous.

40 to 45 is probably too old though. I'd be like, what kind of father would he be? Would she really be happy with him?

abaxeron · 2022-08-17T13:22:08+00:00

would you be okay with her dating a 40-45yr old man

What is the alternative? She's a legal adult. She wants to date a man who can satisfy all her material and financial needs. If I aggressively intervene and bombard her with my disapproval, she both can and is legally allowed to cut me out of her life forever.

Title	Men and Women - Would you accept your 18yr old daughter to marry a wealthy man significantly older than her?
Author	catfishchapter
Upvotes	1
Comments	186
Date	August 16, 2022 6:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wq2bjd/men_and_women_would_you_accept_your_18yr_old/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-and-women-would-you-accept-your-18yr-old.1128198 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128198

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