in some parts of RP and BP circles there is this belief that women ‘share’ the top % of men - where does this idea stem from?

HeartKnifeEnjoyer · 2022-10-20T04:17:20+00:00

It's fairly easy to understand.

In a casual sex pov, women can get access to men better looking than them or manwhore top% men.

So they will choose them, simple as.

domdomdom333 · 2022-10-20T09:05:52+00:00

The idea isn't that women share the top men as in a polyamorous relationship, more that women share the top men in the sense that they're in a queue, next in line to try a monogamous relationship with the same guy who's last relationship just failed. That women take turns to see if they'll succeed,

NakedStreets · 2022-10-20T04:32:22+00:00

Before the pandemic, studies suggested that among 18-30 year olds…

18% of women weren’t having sex at all (in the previous year)

28% of men weren’t having sex at all (in the previous year)

So you might assume that about 70% of men were having sex with 80% of women, suggesting that these men were having more partners than vice versa.

HOWEVER, some of these women are just seeing older men. So it may be a wash.

abaxeron · 2022-10-20T10:12:42+00:00

Every piece of conventional knowledge, data, social convention and even stereotype suggests that women would want a guy for themselves - where is this idea of women “sharing” the top % of men coming from?

A quarter of Norwegian men never father children

Norwegian women are much less likely to be childless.

Fertility figures from Statistics Norway show that fewer and fewer men in Norway are fathering children...

But women are always the pillars of a society’s fertility.

Norway can, in other words, be a country where many men never father children, even though its fertility rate is high.

What actually happens often is that men who are already fathers get recycled.

https://sciencenorway.no/childlessness-fathers-forskningno/a-quarter-of-norwegian-men-never-father-children/1401047

retal1ator · 2022-10-20T05:33:08+00:00

It stems from the anecdotal evidence of women often flocking to a few selected men in a group.

Even if you ignore dating apps data, think about a group of 10 women and 10 men, just like in an HS class: most women end up desiring the very few men at the top of the desirability hierarchy, regardless of any other factor.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-20T07:42:30+00:00

It's the observation, I believe, that those who have casual sex usually don't have sex with just one person. In this sense, a portion of women are being shared as well.

EnteFetz · 2022-10-20T10:47:57+00:00

It's not just a belief, it is what we see every day with our own eyes and by talking to our friends.

We all know some good looking guys who have a constant streak of casual sex with different women and then there are men who don't get any sex.

Good looking men can get casual sex with a different woman every week if they put in the effort and can get a new girl every other month if they don't put in any effort.

I have a really good looking charismatic colleague who tells that several girls that he saw as platonic friends at some point told him that they want to have sex with him. He actually did have sex with some of them and he has a constant stream of new girls that start talking to him and eventually end up naked in his bed. He doesn't put any effort into it. They just happen to end up naked at his place because that is what they want.

There are many girls that hook up once per month or every other month with a hot guy and are satisfied with that, while hot guys have a lot more sex than that. This means one hot guy can keep several girls off the market while other guys don't get anything.

Sudden_Difference500 · 2022-10-20T10:32:03+00:00

This phenomenon is institutionalized in other cultures and religions like Islam for example.

One man is allowed to have as many women as he can afford, women on the other hand are not allowed to have more the one man. Mormons have a similar system in place.

Young men in these cults naturally stay alone because some men will collect harems.

EnteFetz · 2022-10-20T04:43:43+00:00

when I was in college, there were very few men in stable relationships. Some of these guys were seeing multiple women at the same time, and they knew about each other. It seemed to work out. I'd see just one guy walking around with 2 or 3 women. Women just want what they want.

JSears90210 · 2022-10-20T12:29:32+00:00

With cell phone technology, Online Dating, and the societal standard of keeping things casual for longer periods of time, sharing isn't a surprise.

Also, there are guys who are never ever single. Even if they are monogamous, they hop from one girl to another. The women don't overlap but they certainly share.

And hook up culture. Very small % of guys really get to actively participate in hook up culture. So a higher % of women is hooking up with a smaller % of guys. Thus in a sense they are sharing this pool of men.

BurnaAccount1227 · 2022-10-20T04:12:53+00:00

By "share" it does not mean polyamorous relationships, or women that manage to nail down a top guy... But there are some RP lines of thought that would argue that infidelity is almost expected in a relationship with such a man.. It's referring moreso to casual dating and sex, where a very small percentage of men are having sex with a lot of women.

You can see this in action There's been a couple of studies(pre-pandemic mostly) that showed the number of sexless men rising, yet the number of women being sexually active remains roughly the same. The logical conclusion being those women are having sex with a shrinking humber of increasingly top-percentile men.

flakybottom · 2022-10-20T12:04:12+00:00

I grew up seeing women of all ages share my brother. Seen it happen with other very attractive men. Not RP or BP ideology, just personal observation.

andrejusilva123 · 2022-10-20T06:19:17+00:00

There are more male sluts than female sluts so who are the male sluts sleeping with?

According to CDC 40.8% of men have 10 or more sex partners but only 24.5% of women have that many

In the 18-24 range there are more men than women with 0 partners in the past year but also more men than women with 3 or more partners

And here again in the first graph there are more promiscuous men than women

anjovis150 · 2022-10-20T08:48:07+00:00

In short handsome man 190cm tall has sex with 30-50 girls a year and the unattractive 170cm tall man has no sex at all.

festethefoole1 · 2022-10-20T07:01:53+00:00

A huge thing that’s left out of the raw data of the mismatch between men and women reporting “no sex in the past year” is the number of men who, whilst they aren’t incels, are certainly incel adjacent.

I’ve known a couple of guys in relationships after 5-10 years of singlehood who have made absolutely huge concessions to find a girlfriend.

One lad who has always been super keen on having kids and a family has settled for a woman who’s older and not particularly attractive and doesn’t want children.

Another guy would literally spend his time right-swiping-every-profile on apps until he found a girl who’d have him. Sure enough they’re in a relationship but it’s not something I envy.

So whilst these guys wouldn’t be captured in the data of the 28% of blokes not having sex they’re still examples of men who have had to make enormous concessions to find a woman, and furthermore haven’t had any real agency over their romantic lives.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-10-20T04:22:58+00:00

Reality.

statsfodder · 2022-10-20T05:57:37+00:00

Some will turn a blind eye to him having sex with other women just to be with him. Men have been known to do the same.

Any-Bottle-4910 · 2022-10-20T14:24:30+00:00

As the former muscled bartender I can say that there’s a subset of women who may or may not be dating someone, but they’re sure as hell screwing these guys. I was one of them. (I’m reformed that way, and happily married).

They don’t exclude 80% of men. That’s garbage. But, those guys jump through hoops just to maybe get a girlfriend. The top 5-10% just have to be available and discreet to get laid. This just is.

I’d love to see what the 23andMe stats turn out to be on paternity fraud once they get a big enough dataset. I’ll wager it’s markedly higher than the 1-in-12 marriages number I’ve seen.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-10-20T16:54:52+00:00

For me, Matt is the living embodiment of this.

He is a middle age married man with 2 kids and a golden retriever. He runs his own business, is his own boss. Moderately wealthy for the jewel of the midwest. His wife is pretty but unremarkable.

In his youth Matt was naturally good with women, for some unknown reason. He is now in his 50s. He has an easygoingness and calm that's obvious. Not a lot of care in the world. He has many women friends. He goes to dinners. He bangs his "friends" wives. His single lady friends hit him up to get dicked down by him.

A particular single lady friend of his that I fancied rejected me romantically and sexually. She mentioned she was looking for something more "serious" and that the sex part was " too easy ", I'm not about that... only for me to discover a few months later that Matt bones her occasionally. Her txts to him are particularly enthusiastic for him to fuck her. For a time I felt bad about myself for being rejected by her, but so it goes.

sfalgo · 2022-10-20T05:13:16+00:00

Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have had sex with 20,000 women. Even if it's less than that, the number is still in the 4 or 5 figures. Gene Simmons claimed 3,000 women. The list goes on. Maybe women in their late 20s and 30s settle down with a single guy but there's plenty of plausible anecdotal and dating app evidence that supports the 80/20 rule. At least in terms of distribution of total sexual partners for men.

Smiling_Jack_1025 · 2022-10-20T04:47:17+00:00

I’ve seen it my sister got knocked up by her unemployed pot smoking bf who was a bad boy thug who also had 2 other baby mommas who were constantly fighting over HIM! I never understood it cause he wasn’t even good looking but he was muscular and a bad boy so I guess that’s all that counts 🙄

The amount of times I’ve been the emotional tampon for girls I like who complained about their bfs cheating on them but would never break up with them. Same with crushes I had always chasing the top guys and getting pumped and dumped but still chasing him.

Women chase the same top percent of men hoping that she’ll be the one he settles down for.

neetykeeno · 2022-10-20T05:46:24+00:00

The guys who believe that have a bunch of different skewed perceptions of the world. For starters they focus very heavily on what they personally get to see of the women who project sexual availability more...maybe the top ten percent in terms of broadcasting their availability. So yeah a few very sexually motivated women do "share" men...but chances are they are keeping more than one man on tap too. So these guys... they see their friend who is very personable and good looking and boasts about everything is fucking three or four such girls and they regard it as a harem situation...what they don't see is the girls are doing the same thing. It is more of an interconnected network of sexual sharing. But once again the guys who think we all fuck a few other guys don't see the reality because their own sexual nature is in the way ...they think it is the thing that is titillating to them...a harem....not a thing they don't really understand, a subset of women and men showing very similar behaviour.

2022-10-20T06:28:33+00:00

Hook up culture perpetuated by mainstream feminism

GloryToChadlantis · 2022-10-20T06:40:51+00:00

Umm yeah one of the bigger dating networks, either tinder or e harmony did a survey on who got the most matches. 20% of the guys got 90% of the women or something like that.

That was just one source that has become almost biblical in the eyes of some

But across the board it seems to hold water. Least enough that it's well believed

sd2iv · 2022-10-20T07:03:31+00:00

Firsthand Experience? I'm at an N-count of 40. I got with plenty of Women who were much more-so normal than exceptional. There were plenty of women I've hooked up with in the past who had 'normal' trajectories but would have no ability to lock a guy like me long term.

I've also seen firsthand, ton's of the top dudes getting ridiculously special treatment in the dating arena. Sure, I used to be pissed that I had to work stupidly harder in that arena than the most attractive men, but I also knew I could probably be a complete Heroin/Meth addict and still fall into a 6 figure a year job. So it's probably a bit of a case of pick your poison.

In all fairness, in my 30s the dating arena has shifted back towards men with my disposition. So its really not that tough. Basically, when I put a few years effort into dating in my college-ish years, I realized how much Women share the top percentage of guys. I worked substantially harder on that, than an Engineering degree from a top 50 school. If you are from a rural place, or not privy to such experiences, then you wouldn't know. That said, it really is the truth in a pretty high amount of the Western Countries nowadays.

wtknight · 2022-10-20T17:15:58+00:00

If a woman is having casual sex or a FWB then it’s likely that she is sharing a man, as these men often have more casual sex and more FWBs at the same time than the typical woman does.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-10-20T13:33:36+00:00

Even the dudes in the top% of men (myself) acknowledge that women are sharing only top men. I do think 80/20 is probably exaggerated but women very obviously don't go for average men.

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miahoutx · 2022-10-20T16:25:54+00:00

I think there is a mixup of marches and likes and actual dating.

There is also the issue of sequential dating, overlapping, recurrent dates with these networks.

bigdaveyl · 2022-10-20T19:09:35+00:00

It comes from the GSS studies that have shown a surprising amount (like a quarter or a third) of young men haven't had sex in the past year. This number has risen over the years, and is greater than their female counterparts.

Just-Pie-5579 · 2022-10-21T01:42:59+00:00

Some women are willing to do it, and these will be exactly the women to have an affair with Adam Levine and pretend they were "young and vulnerable". If you watch the lives of top 20% of men, you will of course see a lot of examples of this dynamic. The problem is confirmation bias - if you know your ENGL 101 fallacies please correct me. If you constantly look at scat porn you will genuinely believe women like eating feces - it's like no, you are just stuck in the pornified world.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-10-21T03:27:45+00:00

The amalgamation of two facts

Most women don't find the majority of men in the dating age range attractive.
Way way to many guys have been there where they are interested in a girl and the guy she is interested is clearly a dick. (It doesn't even have to be a girl he is interested in, just a friend works). Generally they are look or feel like the teenage heart throb guys from TV but basically the same thing.

Bonus reasons.. 3. When women get burned by guys, instead of just focusing on a few requirements, they tend to just add more with the idea that the more perfect the guy is the less likely he is going to be as ass(though we all know this to not only be not true, but most of the time it's actually the opposite).

NFthrowaway8302021 · 2022-10-22T17:58:12+00:00

Women would rather get involved with players and F bois than a not hot guy that would be loyal to them, that's what it means

Title	in some parts of RP and BP circles there is this belief that women ‘share’ the top % of men - where does this idea stem from?
Author	KayRay1994
Upvotes	3
Comments	148
Date	October 20, 2022 4:04 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y8ns3a/in_some_parts_of_rp_and_bp_circles_there_is_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/in-some-parts-of-rp-and-bp-circles-there-is-this.1136367 https://theredarchive.com/post/1136367

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