CMV: Men have to get their abundance mentality on the same level of women.

Dafiro93 · 2022-12-12T12:49:33+00:00

Depends on if the guy even had the options to Next on. It's like a homeless beggar saying no to fast food and only accepting $100 bills and gourmet food only. Good luck.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-12-12T12:51:51+00:00

Men have to all do this collectively for it to work.

iamprosciutto · 2022-12-12T14:21:17+00:00

Forget the whole "beggars can't be choosers" bs. Your point is to get out of the mindset of a beggar period. You're absolutely right. On OLD, for example, I will not be the only one pushing the conversation. If a girl starts giving me 2 word answers and doesn't really ask any questions, she is getting left on read until she decides to be a participant. It's just about respecting yourself

HolyPenguine · 2022-12-12T12:50:08+00:00

Only works if other men do it too. Women's lower libidos achieve such a collective effect. Currently despite men's dropping testosterone our libidos seem higher.

Administrative-Lie85 · 2022-12-12T18:43:01+00:00

The reason why women have an "abundance mentally" is because they have an abundance reality. The reason why men have a "scarcity mentally" is because they have a scarcity reality.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2022-12-12T12:51:57+00:00

If you don't have abundance, it's silly to try to have an abundance mentality.

boomboxspence · 2022-12-12T14:49:24+00:00

I don't have the option to have that mentality

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-12-12T13:44:03+00:00

Selectivity is a luxury most men do not have

obviousredflag · 2022-12-12T14:11:16+00:00

men with abundance already do exactly what you say.

Even if you don't have abundance you can still have abundance mentality by knowing your self worth.

No, you can't. Knowing your self worth is based on your experiences with other people. You can nudge it a little to eithe side by your personality, but you have a very hard time keeping up self worth that is not mirrored by how people react to you. You can fake self worth and be moderately successful with it, like narcissists do, but at the end of the day, they lie in bed being super insecure about their self worth and it's not pleasant.

If all women had these standards, then less than 10% would be in a relationship, because that's how rare it is. Even just your advice that men should "next" women who are interested in them but not up to their standard, implies that there are women who don't have ridiculous standards.

The problem here seems to be, when your standards are higher than your mate value, you will never find a mate that meets your standards. And all the nexting and "knowing your self worth" is futile, because there will come no one who meets your standards.

rmkiii · 2022-12-12T13:31:39+00:00

Tired of being broke? Just buy yourself a Ferrari!

In all seriousness, you gotta stop reading FDS. Those deal breakers are just rage fantasy.
Groomed as in showered and not neckbeard? Sure. But you can be 5'8 and make 50K and still be dating well in any city I've been to.

Mindset is the key and the second you realise plenty on the other side is just as scared and awkward as you are you can start trying to make a connection.

THHBHStT · 2022-12-12T12:53:53+00:00

Many men find it hard to have an abundance mentality when they have little options. Many also just don’t want to and would rather give their all to one person, forgoing a abundance mentality

SoldierExcelsior · 2022-12-12T16:16:13+00:00

It depends on what you want.

I will play the game with women up to a point most are mentally ill and emotionally damaged and brain washed my the modern narrative...knowing this I'll play along,

For example let's say a woman is an 8 and I take her on a date but she's entitled wierd has a mental breakdown..I won't rite her off just yet I'll give it another date my goal is to clap those cheeks I do have a certain amount of time and energy I'm willing to invest in a woman after that threshold is reached then I say next if shes more effort than she's worth next.

A man's goal is to clap cheeks you should now if a woman is worth anything more than that in 10 min.

mrcs84usn · 2022-12-12T16:30:43+00:00

Having self worth is all fine and dandy so that you’re not simping.

Abundance mentality doesn’t mean much if you don’t actually have abundance, which goes back to doing the work. You don’t just stop being a loser just because you feel better about yourself one day.

FlyV89 · 2022-12-12T23:23:29+00:00

People in general don't understand how much mindset can change their lives.

Men are not the only ones at fault in this, women are too in their own specifical ways, complaining all the time about men and saying there are not good men around and bitching about their jobs, their weight, their wrinkles and the whore that banged his ex and taking shit from stupid jerks.

Women get me on my fucking nerves I swear. Specially grown ass women. Single mothers in particular.

May be that's why I date younger women you know.

They approach me and think the best way to start a convo and get me intrested is bitching about how lonely and depressed they feel and how much they miss their firms tits they used to show to get miles and miles of dick because men are all the same superficial cunts that can't make her cum through PIV.

Awesome plan Queen. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIDE WITH THAT SHITTY VIBE.

What am I supposed to do? Pull out my shinny armor and my sword and play the White Knight that saves the Hoe in distress?

Why do women keep thinking this mindset is going to get them anywere?

Because it worked before? Yeah, see how you ended up and what kind of men you attracted.

Whatever. We were talking about people in general.

Mindset is really important. It can change everything, starting from your mood, self-steem, behaviour and overall habits.

Being happy and possitive gets you on your feet, you start walking, you're open to new experiences and people, you're VIBRANT, in a whole different frecuence, and people catch up, they want to spend time with you, they enjoy hanging out with you, they like you, they want to know "what's your secret".

There is no fucking secret, it's all attitude.

"But you never get shit happening to you!!! How do you do it???"

Dude, I get shit thrown at me all the fucking time, much more than you. Lots of bad things happen to me on a daily basis, and in another time I would have been fucking misserable. The thing is I just don't fucking care anymore, and that's why I'm not going around bitching about my problems to other people (because I don't think these are huge problems) and then people feel awesome around me because I'm not bullshiting them with my shit...

And people start thinking I'm succesful, and good things happen when people think you're succesful.

And I feel better, and I feel more confident, I feel YOUNGER and I do stupid things that young people do, and that's how I meet young women.

And they start giving me crap because I'm 33 years old and I'm too old, and I'm like "girl awesome but I don't give a fuck about your stupid, inmature opinion" and they suddenly like grown men, and they go nuts because I'm not all day checking her stories and giving them likes and I don't call them on Friday night to ask them out or know where they gonna be at because, dude... I talk to to many girls that it's hard to keep up with one convo.

This one doesn't want to fuck, well I'm going out with that one. That one gives me too much crap after sex, then next one. She doesn't want to have sex neither? Awesome, I bang her friend.

When I run out of options I just hit the bar with some friends, chat to as many women I can, get some phone numbers and rince and repeat.

It's not that you shouldn't take shit from anyone. That's the basic.

Don't go around with the hanging fruit. They are going to bring you down, they are going to tore yourself appart only so they can meet you at the bottom and not feel alone.

Like minded people attracts alike, remember that.

Like the ol' gaucho Martín Fierro said, "do what the ants do; they never go to an empty spot".

Don't go to places where you can't get anything possitive, and don't hang out with people that can't teach you anything good, because you'll learn only shitty things, and those shitty things stick around in a dark corner of your mind and then it's really hard to get rid of that shit.

Don't hang out with pessimistic, nihilistic idiots.

What are you going to get from them? A shitty attitude towards life, that's what you get.

They are the kind of people that will tell you you're going to fail even before you try.

They are the same cowards who see defeat in failure.

I see experience. I see knowdelege. I see an oportunity to learn.

Men out there. Scared of fucking rejection. Of women thinking you're a weirdo. Your grandpa was half your age when he was in Vietnam fucker, grow a pair.

I'm the biggest fucking weirdo all around. The only difference between me and you it's that I own it, and I speed dial that weirdness and I end up looking like an excentric brat.

People love my excentricity, my boldness, my brutal honesty, my acid sense of humour. They say it's refreshing.

Of course it is, nobody speak their mind anymore, too scared to stand up for their own ideas and beliefs.

Culture also scares the shit out of men I tell you. It's the constant bullshiting, the message being hammered on their heads since they are children, that fucks with their mind and make them think they are good for nothing.

"You can't. You're evil. You're bad. You deserve pain. You need to change. You're a waste."

24/7, all day the same shit, everywhere you go. How is supposed guys are not going to be fucked in the head?

This is some kind of mental programing or something I tell you, and men consume this crap all the time, and they end up believing it.

Turn off the TV, take a look at the mirror, right into your eyes and say "I'm the owner of my own life" until you believe yourself.

Because you are. And then say "I can do it" and repeat it until you believe that crap too because that's the fucking truth.

And do the same stupid shit day after day, until it sticks between your hears and doesn't fall off there anymore.

Have a dream. Whatever you dream about, whatever your goal is, whatever thought that makes you feel good, and envision it. Shape it in your mind, throw away every negative feeling, and only think about possitive things.

When you have an idea that makes you feel good, you create a source of motivational energy. If you can repeat this process for long enough that it becomes an habit, that motivation will become your default state of mind. That's how you achieve mindfulness.

At some point, that mindfulness becomes a feedback loop you can rely on when you're running out of motivation, and the best thing is that it doesn't depend on external factors.

You become the center of your universe, and you start acting accordingly. You start dodging shit like the fucking Mohammed Alí. You start giving two fucks about shit too.

Because your happiness doesn't depend anymore of external factors or other people. Yeah, shit happens, but your life doesn't suck, because it's yours.

I hear a lot of guys here talk about training the body to look good and yeah, I agree, training the body is important, but it's also important to train the mind.

Yes, you can train your mind, and being in the right mindset for as long as you can, and forcing yourself to adopt a more possitive aproach to life is how you do it.

Also, don't forget you have an spirit too... But that's talk for another day.

2022-12-12T18:11:49+00:00

Individualistic ideology in the US leads many people to hyper focus on things like "mentality," and it leads them to getting it wrong many times, like this one.

BillyPilgrim75 · 2022-12-12T18:50:10+00:00

People with actual abundance, like a one to one correspondence between what they want and multiple direct ways to get it, don't need an abundance mentality. They have actual abundance. An abundance mentality is about considering whether you've defined your need or desire too narrowly or weighed it too heavily among the things you need right now to be happy, or whether you've considered other ways to feel less of a scarcity.

Scarcity can seem like you're drowning. Abundance can come from simply relieving that panic, say as when you stop thrashing and stand up and realize you can keep your head above water. You still face some challenges (you're in water up to your neck), but you can think about those challenges much more clearly.

BruddaMSK · 2022-12-13T10:52:21+00:00

No it doesn't work this way you cannot develop some sort of abundance mentality while having no actual abundance my ram, it will lead to big disconnection from the real world at best, anyways most people are not so good at mental gymnastics to create an alternate universe in their head and actually believe it.

The dick is free, the pussy isn't [for most men]. Get a life or dance around this all day it won't change anything.

feanoric · 2022-12-12T12:56:18+00:00

Is it good to be grateful and have abundance mentality? Sure, it helps.

Will if fix your very real dating issues? Unlikely.

In fact, it may hurt you as you may try even more and even get more into the hole.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-12-12T13:04:05+00:00

But if they do all that! They won’t be able to complain women have to high a standard when they can’t meet their own!

DownvoteMeYaCunt · 2022-12-12T17:13:28+00:00

This works for high value men. Does not work for anyone else though

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-12-12T19:11:06+00:00

Most guys next women like you describe though OP. Or at least they did when I dated a lot in my twenties. This forum doesn't count because it's filled with desperate men who probably have social issues and that's why they aren't successful in life not just with dating... Most men today are not interested in a serious relationship easily and if they are, it comes with a long list of conditions. The difference is if the men try for a casual sex encounter or not before they "next."

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-12-12T19:11:56+00:00

I completely agree.

Set your parameters for what you will accept and only bring people into your life who abide by those parameters.

It's not so difficult.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-12-12T14:27:41+00:00

There is actually nothing stopping men from doing this except for their own neuroses and thoughts. If a woman is not a net gain on your life, then she should be nexted. Abundance is really a state of mind.

x_pyromance · 2022-12-12T12:58:16+00:00

If a girl has weird hands or feet I next LOL

glad0_ve0rgijev · 2022-12-12T14:48:38+00:00

You have to have an idgaf mindset. Focus on yourself and being fun to be around, also socialize as much as you can. When I did this, I had a lot of interest and I besides face am absolute goblin lmfao.

UneastAji · 2022-12-12T14:56:21+00:00

Men have. That's why women can't stop complaining about men's "audacity" or that women should be as confident as a mediocre man.

2022-12-12T15:00:33+00:00

I just ask myself if I even want a woman? Apart from the sex and attraction, I realise that I don't. The women around me live in a completely different world than me, I almost have nothing in common, none of my good friends are women. Then stop giving a shit. It isn't about food or home, you won't die if you don't have sex. Yes sex feels good and validating, but if you have to give up your self respect to get it, then it's too high of a price to pay.

Adept-Development-00 · 2022-12-12T15:08:12+00:00

This is the solution, it works in my experience. Talk to a lot of girls you gain more experience and aren't stuck worrying about one girl. You feel like you have a ton of options and don't give a fuck when one or two don't like you. You also feel more positive in general.

JumboJetz · 2022-12-12T16:51:17+00:00

Men have allegedly lower standards and women still have psychological breakdowns trying to conform to beauty standards. If men did have even higher standards I wonder what the effect on womens self esteem would be.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-12-12T18:43:31+00:00

If he is not 6ft: Next.

If he doesn't make 100k: Next.

Most men (US) are not anywhere near 6' and most are not anywhere near 100K, yet 98% of people get laid, have dates and relationships and 40% of those relationships now start online. Most of those relationships begin with genuine attraction. You're hyperbolizing something that only a minority of women do as evidenced by the fact that most of the US is fat and one paycheck away from homelessness and still gets laid and has relationships throughout their adult lives.

suj1290 · 2022-12-12T14:06:20+00:00

After next and next most women keep playing with their dildo and cats cz they themselves are avg at best but want top %guys lol all the best

CameronJohns88 · 2022-12-12T17:07:36+00:00

This is like saying a starving African child just needs to have a good abundance mentality

2022-12-12T14:40:55+00:00

Ha ha ha why do men even want women anyway? You do realize women are the inferior sex? Have an abundance attitude because you know you’re the MALE and you’re automatically superior. Women are warm wet holes and nothing more. Stop putting pussy on a pedestal.

I’m a woman so this isn’t sexist 🤣

Pavi2 · 2022-12-12T13:33:54+00:00

So think like a man essentially 😂😂😂

AutoModerator · 2022-12-12T12:43:48+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a CMV. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to have your view challenged may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Asking few or no genuine questions;

Seeming more interested in arguing or convincing others than understanding opposing views;

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Explicit statements of an intent to change the other posters’ minds; or

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to CMV OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2022-12-12T12:43:47+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

gate18 · 2022-12-12T14:55:57+00:00

I agree with that.

but, if you have that mentality surely you have other things going on for you

u/Dafiro93 wrote

. It's like a homeless beggar saying no to fast food and only accepting $100 bills and gourmet food only.

That person does not have anything going for them.

If a relationship is equal to food for a homeless beggar then, just like the homeless, that food isn't the biggest issue. Of course, you are going to eat, but finding a home, and a stable job is more important.

If the food is sex/relationship for men, what is the equivalent of homelessness and coldness, and lack of dignity? Sex/relationship doesn't give you all of that.

That's why there are happy incels (involuntarily celibate) and deeply unhappy incels. The happy ones lack sex/relationships (and it does make them sad sometimes). The unhappy ones see their sexless existence as a state of homelessness and starvation. So, true or not, they feel they have nothing.

Why would anyone use an analogy that kills you? If you don't eat you are dead. If you never have sex you could live till old age and have a normal (or amazing) career, a fine house, and travel the world... All without ever having sex or relation. Why the analogy?

If you aren't doing any of that, could it be sex and relationships isn't the problem?

RealAmericanWeasel · 2022-12-12T17:15:45+00:00

You can pretend some other female is right around the corner but if there is no one there, you’re just cutting off your nose to spite your face.

GrandRub · 2022-12-12T18:53:46+00:00

If he is not 6ft: Next.

If he doesn't make 100k: Next.

if he isn't groomed: Next.

The list is endless.

there are tons and tons of men who dont fit those criteria with women.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2022-12-12T19:10:32+00:00

You don't really understand women if you really think they have the same standards they voice out to be.

There's a difference in what they say, feel and do, if you're a rational person you assume there aren't any contradictions

Peacesquad · 2022-12-12T22:18:07+00:00

Women have it from puberty men have to create value and earn abundance by hard work rejections failures and pain

BensonInFL · 2022-12-12T22:24:46+00:00

>Heres the thing about most women: They don't take any shit.

I found the opposite to be true. Girls are VERY forgiving and give a guy MANY chances. I'm constantly entertained at the stories girls give about their previous relationships and dates and just what I see in my friend group.

> For guys we have to do something similar even if we don't get as many opportunities

These games are fun to play, but as a man, the key is to do it AFTER you are in a relationship with her, or at least slept with her a couple of times. I play nice leading up to sex, and then bombs away. Also, you don't have to drop her, you can train her to behave how you expect/want.

-B

Title	CMV: Men have to get their abundance mentality on the same level of women.
Author	gobblegoobleoneofus
Upvotes	83
Comments	160
Date	December 12, 2022 12:43 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zjy0tt/cmv_men_have_to_get_their_abundance_mentality_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-have-to-get-their-abundance-mentality-on.1144159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144159

Comments