What do you think is the best way to deal with shit tests that are coming from women?

GhostofCamus · 2023-01-28T09:33:49+00:00

If they're testing me, I'm automatically going to stop caring what they think of me. Problem solves itself.

SpookyCatLime · 2023-01-28T10:08:57+00:00

The best way to deal with them is move on and find yourself a grown up to date! If you play stupid games then you deserve stupid prizes

gymbro718nyc2 · 2023-01-28T13:23:07+00:00

All women test men. It's nature. The same way the lioness tests the lion to see if he still has his balls. The way you deal with it? Calmly but firmly tell her you will not tolerate any such behavior.

PrettyBeautiful7030 · 2023-01-28T14:36:12+00:00

If a man tests me, I purposely fail their tests. If they can't see real me, I don't want them in my life.

TigerRude4 · 2023-01-28T10:31:22+00:00

Agree and amplify

wtknight · 2023-01-28T14:51:41+00:00

I wouldn't stay with a woman who was shit testing me. I'd find another woman.

Dealing with shit tests should be for guys who want casual sex with a woman - not relationships.

TheCultOfGrogg · 2023-01-28T09:59:20+00:00

The issue is that most shit tests are tests you aren’t aware of them and for that reason, shouldn’t really care about them. Kinda for the same reason it’s probably not best to try and play football on a minefield by guessing where all the mines are…but rather to play football on a field that doesn’t have mines.

Listen, I’m going to try explain this as best I know how.

Because men tend to be the sex that is told that our outcomes are affected by our own actions, rather than that out outcomes are affected by the actions of others, we tend to think that every woman is some hackable computer, and that if she doesn’t like us, we just couldn’t hack her. That’s not true. Some women will be for you, and some against you.

I’m trying to tell you that getting the right woman is about finding, not manipulating or masterminding.

I say this because with shit-tests, the degree and frequency to which a woman tests you largely depends on the woman and things like:

how insecure and/or narcissistic she is: (Extremely insecure women shit test constantly and give unreasonable shit tests that can’t be passed because they need constant reassurance that they’re safe or have the safest option - you simply WILL FAIL one of these tests at some point and you won’t even know you were tested. The same is true for narcissistic women, as narcissism is usually just a massively overdeveloped ego, and egos are just defense mechanisms or, a callous the mind develops to shield itself from a fear-inducing reality, which is also a form of insecurity)
how delusional she is: (any woman that gets ahold of these feminist dating podcasts or tiktoks gets her mind so incredible fucked by the creators that she becomes undatable. Those content creators literally sow entitlement and double-mindedness right into the minds of their female viewers to where, a man is supposed to A. Know everything you want B. Do everything you want C. Do it regardless of whether or not you deserve it, D. Do the right amount of it, otherwise he’s being manipulative/love-bombing, and E. Do it without the expectation of even a subpar degree of reciprocity. There simply is no pleasing those women - there is no passing those tests and even if you do, why would you want to?)
who she has dated prior: (a lot of women’s standards aren’t set by some static margin she’s developed, but by some relative margin other men she’s dated have developed for her, and she’ll shit test you per those standards. For example, it’s not that you didn’t say “no” when she asked to do something crazy, it’s that you maybe didn’t grab her around the throat and say it like that dark-triad felon she dated prior - thus, you aren’t “alpha” enough, when in reality you just are more mentally composed and not retarded)

So your attention shouldn’t be on passing shit tests, it should be on finding a woman that is comfortable with the kind of person you are when you aren’t trying to maintain “frame”c as any frame you try and maintain, with time, will be broken by you. No one can maintain someone they’re not for someone with whom they will spend more and more time around- they just can’t. I can tell you as sure as water flows through a creek, you WILL lose a woman that isn’t meant for you. Plain and simple. And as a guy, we’re not really wired to let women go because of the scarce availability of sex and our biological programming, but it is vital for the success of your relationship that you understand when a woman is right for you and isn’t, and just let her go if need be. If you don’t, her leaving you is the least of your worries…that’s actually a blessing. Some of these women will keep you around JUST to use you. Understand, shit tests usually just determine a woman’s sexual attraction to you…but women still have a use for men they’re not sexually attracted to…and you do NOT want to be that guy, because what happens is, she’ll use that guy, and even if he gets the balls to stand up for himself, she’s already determined he’s a bitch so that won’t change her loss of attraction for him…meaning that she’ll just cut him off because he’s no longer cooperating with being used. So it’s the worse kind of use because you’re trying-out for a spot that you’re adjudicator knew from the jump you weren’t getting…they just kept you around to benefit from you jumping through the hoops.

….in other words, don’t worry about shit tests. You will always fail the ones given by women who aren’t meant for you, and who won’t have a successful relationship with anyone. And you will always pass the ones with women that are meant for you, if you even are tested by them at all. All women test, but healthy women test for the fundamentals of masculinity, not to see if you’re the real-deal Kratos or some shit like that.

Ylduts · 2023-01-28T10:22:29+00:00

Move on. A woman who shit tests doesn’t make a good long term partner. Leave that trash for the blue pilled dudes. Casual at best.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-01-28T09:34:33+00:00

Personally unless your relationship is official, they can do as many shit tests as they want and you have the right to walk away or meet other people.
If your official and she turned round n said a guy she was talking to today gave her his number you would be within your rights to say “that’s inappropriate, did you not tell him you had a bf?”

Gravel_Roads · 2023-01-28T10:47:04+00:00

‘Shit test’ as TRP uses the term, is essentially flirting. It’s how TRP describes women who aren’t sure yet if they want to date you, but are basically trying to see if you might be fun.

And I agree with TRP. Even though “amuse and amplify” / “agree and amplify” is cringe as fuck in phrasing, its basically just the comedy trope called “yes, and”. It’s a form of banter where instead of denying what someone “accuses” you of, you agree with it and turn it into a joke.

Ie, at 5’6 I’m a pretty short guy. It’s inevitably that I’ll be teased about it. But when someone says something, I just tell them “you come down here and say that.”

MotleyCrew1989 · 2023-01-28T10:29:43+00:00

Use those shit test to shit test her?

IMO, some shit test are reasonable, like denying a "boyfriend candidate" sex one night to see how he reacts, some others are not.

AngelxEyez · 2023-01-28T16:17:14+00:00

Shows how detached from the sidebar this new wave of ppd is. Agree and amplify is the answer and few few are saying it

KayRay1994 · 2023-01-28T14:22:53+00:00

why would she twerk at work? (i mean if she’s at a party or club or concert or whatever who cares…. but work?)

Thatshygurl · 2023-01-28T15:38:54+00:00

Can you give some examples of “shit tests”?

RabidusRex · 2023-01-28T19:37:43+00:00

Dude, leave.

Don't waste your time with women who want to fuck your head up with childish mind games that only benefits her sense of insecurity.

Some games can only be won by not playing to begin with.

KikiYuyu · 2023-01-28T11:51:46+00:00

Honestly if it's early in the relationship and she's doing something that's really off putting or weird, just openly ask her what's up. It's already a bit of a red flag for her to be acting like this so why not just be up front?

DebateRoyal4525 · 2023-01-28T09:09:27+00:00

Don't take them seriously at all. If someone asks a loaded question, just shrug it off or don't answer it.

Cjaylyle · 2023-01-28T12:00:08+00:00

Contrary to popular belief you don’t really get them if she’s into you. Maybe some flirty banter but that’s fun and easy to roll with.

If you’re getting bonafide “shit tests” she is not very interested at all

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-01-28T09:07:56+00:00

Everyone does shit tests. Just be the partner you yourself would want to be an answer according to that. If she has a problem with any of that then she probably isn't the one for you.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-01-28T14:36:39+00:00

Tell them they are goofy and do whatever you were gonna do anyways. They get mad? Good, it means they care and are into you. Fuck the shit out of them later and pop on your favorite show.

I find it so funny now that men worry about shit tests, stop taking your girl so seriously. She hates it.

2023-01-29T17:01:17+00:00

Power through and pump and dump

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Final-Harakiri · 2023-01-28T10:08:04+00:00

If a woman is giving you shit tests she isn't worth it. I'm gonna give you some actual good advice. Give up on western women and go overseas. Western women aren't worth it, especially if they're not virgins.

Electrical_Access604 · 2023-01-28T12:44:58+00:00

I personally wouldn't wanna be near someone who acts like that. Much less date them.

nonameboredman · 2023-01-28T13:49:45+00:00

best way to deal with shit tests

I simply thank them for their time and wish them good fortune.

KerPop42 · 2023-01-28T14:13:51+00:00

I graduated from school 15 years ago, I'm not interested in spending more time taking tests. If she doesn't trust me enough to directly come to me with her insecurities, then there's no relationship to be had.

I think those kinds of tests aren't temporary; if they're how she vets you now, they're going to be how she vets you in 6 months and 5 years.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2023-01-28T14:36:36+00:00

Don’t engage in shit testing, don’t play the games. Setting a precedent for playing games early on is how you ensure drama later-on. Just be honest don’t try to “pass the test” don’t be afraid to call out bullshit. If you lose her, you did yourself a favor.

MistyMaisel · 2023-01-28T14:48:39+00:00

I feel like I'm wondering what these tests are? Like what do you guys mean by testing a guy?

Cuz if you mean women trying to discern your true motives and character through tests, the answer is to be yourself so she can get her answers.

If you mean just like, her being catty and mean and tormenting you for reactions for no purpose other than to amuse herself, walk away.

If you mean flirty teasing about something you may have a bit of insecurity about, I think people generally do this to express affection and interest. So it's a good sign, learn to roll with it and do it back to her.

-angels-fan- · 2023-01-28T15:07:08+00:00

Look up Agree and amplify and amused mastery. Those are two pretty solid techniques.

But above all else, do not go into her frame! Hold your own frame!

2023-01-28T15:21:26+00:00

Flush (IGNORE) them.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-01-28T15:37:24+00:00

The concept of the "shit test" is so foreign to me. Why would you fake a problem that doesn't exist? I feel like it undermines when you legitimately need to have an honest conversation about a real issue. It's completely sabotaging yourself.

Safinated · 2023-01-28T16:05:10+00:00

The way most normal women do

Walk out the door and never come back

neetykeeno · 2023-01-28T16:29:13+00:00

"right at the start of a relationship" you say?

If you don't like it don't have that relationship. Save both of you a lot of trouble. It's not a "test" dude, it's just how she is.

Teflon08191 · 2023-01-28T16:49:36+00:00

Humor their toddler-like behavior in an amused fashion.

"Amused mastery" I think they call it.

MediumBaseball5339 · 2023-01-28T16:51:13+00:00

I see a lot of responses saying if she shit tests then it's time to move on, which is fair enough.

Should the woman move on too the moment the guy is misogynistic or starts using the dark arts of psychology on her?

That would basically cancel out every guy here, no?

75_Attack_Zerk · 2023-01-28T17:11:10+00:00

You just pass them with extreme confidence and tact and if they are outrageous you chastise her for being disrespectful. Simple.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-01-28T17:26:57+00:00

Can you provide an example of a "shit test"?

Testing people like they are your students is fucked up. I've never experienced it (that I know of) and I've certainly never given one.

OptimistInHell · 2023-01-28T18:03:22+00:00

2023-01-28T18:57:21+00:00

break up if you're not compatible

throwaway164_3 · 2023-01-28T19:04:18+00:00

Agree & amplify

toasterchild · 2023-01-28T22:10:43+00:00

Most of what you label as "shit tests" is just signs of insecurity. Insecurity loves company. Sometimes the person has a little and you can deal, sometimes they are extremely insecure and you can't deal. Case by case... if they are too much then ditch them.

Best-Ad1187 · 2023-01-29T00:01:11+00:00

Stay on your ground.

Make jokes out of her pity complains, make her laugh.

Don't do anything she asked you annoyed if you don't want to.

Women hate to admit it, but they do want a guy more powerful than them, and if the guy follows her orders, that make them lose attraction for the man.

That is why women often date disagreeable men, even if they are criminal or divorced. It is not because they are in that situation, but because those men don't really give a fuck and they love that.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-01-29T00:22:23+00:00

If they’re obviously testing you, like repeatedly, stop seeing them. This goes for men and women. That’s a sign of immaturity. Just nope.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-01-29T02:49:35+00:00

Let's say you are a man that's at the start of the relationship with a woman and she starts testing you with a shit tests.

The shit test is one of the dumbest reframes of dating I've ever seen. A woman who's being a bitch to you isn't "testing" you. She's being a bitch. Or she's manifesting her insecurity. Those are the two types of "shit test," bookended from "you don't do this often do you" to "you're a player aren't you?"

One is bitchy, the other is insecurity.

That's it. That's all. You're dealing with a mean woman or an insecure woman when she starts "shit testing" you.

The best course of action to "passing shit tests" is to either ignore them and redirect the conversation, like an adult would when talking to a child, or just walk away.

WhiteDudeOnReddit · 2023-01-29T03:50:40+00:00

Funny story: I was dating a woman from another country. We bonded well and she had to go back to her homeland. She told me that she was gonna find a man there to settle down with. I told her, "Can you find me a new girlfriend while you're at it?" And she said "No!" While grabbing my arm 😂

Moral of the story: testing can be fun. But if it happens frequently - find someone new.

West-Ad-9697 · 2023-01-29T07:43:46+00:00

This is a trick question by itself.

The pros would not care, they know all of the bs women say doesn't actually matter, it's just them being nervous and insecure because they like you and they need some sort of confirmation that you're the man and you're not gonna turn insecure the second she does the hot girl shit.

The semi-pro fuck boys make it clear - they aren't putting monogamy on the table, because they know the wildest essence of woman is a jealous woman and when she is spinning those stories - it's all gonna go against her when you tell her, you're just on the market.

For new guys there's 2 approaches - brush it off with agree and amplify and make her feel silly for saying shit and then respecting you for taking her shit in a mature fashion. You can't be but hurt about it - if you are affected - you can't amplify it in a joke, it just comes across as insecure and hyperreactive.

For the blue pill guys - use the king's speech. Take a pause, and in a non-reactive big dick energy tell her you don't appreciate her telling that stuff. Since you are dating, you find it disrespectful for her to tell you how much she acts like a single woman despite dating you. No requests, no complaints. Just communicate how you feel in a cool, low energy, non reactive way and have her process that. This brings the woman down into realness and makes her confront the fact that you have feelings, you are aware of your feelings, you have the capacity to comunicate that in a mature grounded way and she done fucked up. This grounding however won't work for the more solipsistic women, which don't really conceptualize you can be hurt, they don't think doing what they feel is morally wrong, and will rationalize that you are wrong for taking offence of her doing what she felt like.

snsjsthrowj · 2023-01-29T12:38:32+00:00

If I found out my girl was twerking for some dude at work, the new test would be how fast can she get her shit out of my place before I pawn it. She knows better than to try me like that.

If your girl is doing you like that, you need to show her you'll leave her ass. Don't argue with her either because a lot of chicks who try that are looking for an emotional response to validate themselves, don't feed into it. You can cut it with a disrespectful chick and be talking to a new girl the same day.

InfamousBake1859 · 2023-01-29T17:18:17+00:00

How are these shit tests?

twerk at work. My husband would be like: don’t tell, show.
random dude gives me number - husband: do what happened? (He loves workplace stories, just like I listen to his workplace drama… usually it’s not revolving romance)
ask what he would buy me: “idk, what do you want?” (I learned he has a bad gifter so I have to just tell him what to buy me)
what tattoo he would do for me? He’s not a tattoo guy but he’s willing to do them for me. I’m not a tattoo girl… let me ask him right now…

Update: obv he knew it was some prompt i got somewhere bc i’m not into tattoos. He says “your kitty on my forehead.” 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

That said, i asked if i was super serious and i really wanted him to have a tattoo of my foot on his abdomen, would he do it. He said “it’ll be hard to maintain probably, but if you truly insist, sure I guess.”

fizeekfriday · 2023-01-29T22:52:16+00:00

Shit tests are built into some women's behavior because she's subconsciously trying to get you to break character

Unironically, in simple terms, this is literally women getting on your nerves to get you to a t out of character. To see how solid/stoic you are.

And logically, a man who doesn't gaf about her shit tests is usually one who has other women on the side and doesn't gaf about her.

Usually I lose interest if a woman shit tests me because I can see through it. But if I'm very attracted to her and she shit test me I'll just fail the test in such a way her ego is hurt and she never wants to talk to me again. Cause that shit is actually annoying to me but I still want her deep down so I gotta cut it off.

Professional-You1235 · 2023-01-30T02:23:22+00:00

You intentionally fail all tests and laugh at her, this shows you aren’t controlled by the test, and then you pass cause that was the true test of whether you are a man or a little bich that jumps threw her hoops.

Title	What do you think is the best way to deal with shit tests that are coming from women?
Author	Treacle-Flimsy
Upvotes	18
Comments	154
Date	January 28, 2023 8:54 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10nakcs/what_do_you_think_is_the_best_way_to_deal_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-think-is-the-best-way-to-deal-with.1149954 https://theredarchive.com/post/1149954

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