My boyfriend's cancer was ruining my mental health so I left him

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2023-04-21T17:14:39+00:00

Man gets brain cancer, girlfriend most affected.

TheHighGround99 · 2023-04-21T18:09:18+00:00

What I think is most egregious is the fact this article exists and that she agreed to tell this story. I don't think it's unreasonable to leave a relationship where you've suddenly been forced into a caretaker role that's affecting your mental health, but essentially gloating about it, sharing the story around, seeking mass validation, that's fucked. As if the guy didn't have it bad enough, now his ex is on a campaign to turn herself into the victim.

sgt_oddball_17 · 2023-04-21T18:15:47+00:00

Now, reverse the genders, and the guy will be depicted as some sort of a monster.

wanderlust_12 · 2023-04-21T18:19:16+00:00

My boyfriend's cancer battle was ruining my mental health so I left him - now I'm running a marathon in his honour

This screams of “I’m an attention whore, so how can I make the sickness of my ex bf about me me me me me me?”

CerealKiller916 · 2023-04-21T20:47:36+00:00

My BF was supposed to buy me a house, but when he was suddenly diagnosed with cancer and I realized he couldn't do that for me anymore I left.

There I fixed the title for you.

thisisarunaround · 2023-04-21T17:45:02+00:00

1/4 of Marriages with a Sick Spouse Will End in a Divorce

It’s disgusting to think people can leave their partner because of illness alone.

NotSoRichieRich · 2023-04-21T17:59:28+00:00

He didn't dodge the cancer bullet, but he dodged a second one not getting into a long-term commitment with her.

If it wasn't her using the cancer as an excuse to leave, it would've been something equally serious, like his hair going grey.

EviessVeralan · 2023-04-21T21:51:30+00:00

I would personally argue "My ex is suffering with cancer but i felt the need to make it about me" would have been a better headline.

Mrtoad-52 · 2023-04-21T23:27:45+00:00

I can relate…. I was diagnosed with lymphoma and had 13 tumours in me. It was a year of hell chemotherapy and all while covid hit too. My wonderful wife made it about her. How this is affecting her more and she even said to me. “If you die you don’t have to deal with it. I do so i have it worse.” She said this as i lay in a hospital bed hooked up to 4 machines a spinal infection and the flue.

The nurse asked her to leave and it it took a long time of discussion to get back together after that.

ZekalMacabre · 2023-04-21T18:56:32+00:00

She says she feels horrible for leaving him, but she absolutely should. She's a horrible fucking person.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2023-04-21T21:48:16+00:00

Sadly it happens so often that guys get bashed for leaving. But girls get like praised for leaveing as soon as a any setback happens.

I think that dynamic change makes it more likely that people often only stick together as long as its just easy to do so. As soon as it hits harder times the bail.

So yea have the dynamic that men more use girls when the hit on there great times. Cause the know as soon as the great times stop the girl will jump ship.

And its often not about love or wanting to build something up together anymore. But who can use the other before the other can fuck you over. Kinda transaction based relationships you see often. Sad become like this.

But to many people get fucked over or burned to not have that be the outcome. But sad

Tsui_Red · 2023-04-21T17:38:09+00:00

Man gets brain cancer. Relies on gf for support system. She bolts. Typical

NeoNotNeo · 2023-04-22T00:01:06+00:00

I can guarantee she is a self proclaimed feminist. If someone can get her social media feed it would help.

If a self proclaimed Mens Rights Activist did what she did what would be the media reaction??

Royal_IDunno · 2023-04-21T21:23:07+00:00

What a deadbeat for leaving him that’s just vile. Why does society think it’s ok for a woman to jump ship yet if a man does it he’s automatically seen as a scumbag loser?

ztsmart · 2023-04-22T07:06:50+00:00

This guy is fortunate that his cancer just up and left him like that

dankmemezrus · 2023-04-21T22:43:47+00:00

You can’t make this up…

FormedFecalIncident · 2023-04-21T22:57:05+00:00

I hope this person never has to endure a horrible disease or injury alone….or do I…

SouthernSeeker · 2023-04-21T18:43:38+00:00

"In sickness and health, unless it gets hard".

Algoresball · 2023-04-21T19:06:10+00:00

If I did something like that the last thing I’d want is an article about it. It’s almost like she’s proud of herself

tmpTomball · 2023-04-21T21:02:12+00:00

#ShoutYourNarcissism

Everyone's favorite new hashtag.

denvercaniac · 2023-04-22T02:51:39+00:00

I've lost too many people to cancer.

This woman is awful.

TheSecondWing · 2023-04-22T08:01:23+00:00

Fuck this bitch and fuck all the people who support her.

amakusa360 · 2023-04-22T03:51:55+00:00

This is a special level of selfish narcissism. You can't imagine a man doing this and being glorified by the media for it.

Mammoth_Cut5134 · 2023-04-22T07:08:43+00:00

Why are there so many radfems in this comment section?

UN_sensored · 2023-04-21T18:54:36+00:00

Affecting my mental health... Bitch.. I've been suicidal and depressed since 2014. You got depressed what.. couple of weeks ago? Spineless cow. Fuck you.

carpeCactus · 2023-04-21T19:56:49+00:00

Wouldn’t be surprised if she did a tik tok dance in front of his bed to “raise awareness” for his suffering?! /sarcasm

bobthefrog003 · 2023-04-21T20:01:04+00:00

though sickness and health my ass

Themightybunghole10 · 2023-04-22T01:04:42+00:00

Her last names Epstein i bet theres a connection

gravity_is_right · 2023-04-22T09:43:27+00:00

Leaving him in times when he needed her most, is an awful thing to do, and this marathon doesn't make it even, but at least she's acknowledging in a way it wasn't a nice thing to do. Yet, writing an article about this, putting her in the spotlights, makes clear that she didn't figure out the core issue.

Nathaniel66 · 2023-04-21T19:06:16+00:00

Want a true love? Get a dog.

boxofbuscuits · 2023-04-21T19:33:01+00:00

Strong independent woman. She knows her worth /s

JosephDavidZ · 2023-04-21T18:48:45+00:00

Gee, I wonder why no one will marry a woman these days. They are so selfless.

suk-my-ballz-0811 · 2023-04-21T20:58:57+00:00

What a keeeeen! You go gurl!!! Wtf

NavJongUnPlayandwon · 2023-04-22T10:39:38+00:00

ahhhh these hoes aint loyal...

cxmpie · 2023-04-22T14:47:44+00:00

"in honor" really just seems like "thoughts and prayers"

BennyNutts · 2023-04-22T15:40:03+00:00

"I'm sorry I can't be with anyone that has more victim points than me"

meangingersnap · 2023-04-21T22:43:37+00:00

Crazy thing is men leave their sick wives 6x more than women leave sick husbands

DirtAndGrass · 2023-04-22T11:34:34+00:00

This pretty much exactly, happened to me, except she didn't want to shout it out to everyone... I don't hold any ill will towards her

CampaignSpecific2534 · 2023-04-22T16:22:42+00:00

manager for Brain Tumour Research, said 'We're very grateful to Danielle for taking on this huge challenge to help raise funds for our cause.'

I feel like this post has gotten much more attention than it deserves. I mean, it did look like she was taking advantage of her boyfriend's diagnosis and seeking validation for leaving him, but, she isn't lazy and seems to be doing something which actually is helping a cause. Doubt If I am going to judge her.

samfishertags · 2023-04-21T18:24:56+00:00

this is a little unfair to get up in arms about this. Men do this much more often than women do

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2023-04-21T20:59:03+00:00

I won't condemn her. Caring for someone with cancer is really tough. In fact, most people who leave their partners because of sickness are men.

LarsBohenan · 2023-04-22T01:57:10+00:00

Empowerment UP!

blagablagman · 2023-04-21T20:06:56+00:00

What's this got to do with rights? You guys are off track with this Two Minutes Hate stuff.

Edit: ha ha no replies

UbiquitousWobbegong · 2023-04-21T22:03:16+00:00

I've always been of the opinion that people judge other people too harshly for leaving their partner over medical conditions. Anyone who has had a partner with a severe medical condition knows how fucking hard it is, and these two weren't even married yet.

And to those who view this as the woman "making it about herself", yeah, don't you think a lot of cancer sufferers would run away from it if they could? Of course some of their partners aren't going to be able to handle it. The cancer sufferer themselves can only "handle it" because they have no other choice.

You are a shitty person if you leave someone when they really need support. But it might be easier to live with your guilt than to live with the trauma of going through that process with someone instead of leaving.

If a man supports his wife financially and emotionally as she's on palliative care for cancer, only half alive at that point, is he a monster if he finds a casual sexual/romantic relationship because he needs it to help him survive the situation with his wife? Conventional wisdom says yes. But the problem with conventional wisdom is that it's an ideal; it doesn't often account for the messiness of reality.

Everyone finds it easy to call out when someone else is being a piece of shit. But who among us hasn't been a piece of shit at some point? You think you can tell me no one you've known, at any point in your life, thought something you did was shitty and selfish? We don't all do it like this girl did, but we all do things that we should be ashamed of. None of us is a Saint.

If your first reaction to this kind of story is to understand both sides, instead of looking for fault, you would realize that the person "in the wrong" tends to be more relatable than we'd like to admit.

Fact_Trumps_Feeling · 2023-04-22T02:50:24+00:00

To be fair, they weren't married. And, that was probably more his decision than hers, as men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

So, there weren't any vows about "In sickness and in health."

DocRocksPhDont · 2023-04-22T05:06:39+00:00

Actually, it's way more common for men to leave women who become ill than vice versa

https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/men-more-likely-leave-spouse-who-has-cancer-flna1c9450218

Ok-Mathematician2309 · 2023-04-21T23:23:40+00:00

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm

Separation and divorce far more common when wife is the patient.

Opposite-Bullfrog-57 · 2023-04-22T04:54:55+00:00

Which is why relationship must be transactional.

Relationship is already transactional. And this is the proof of it. People leave when the other outlive their usefulness.

So stop pretending otherwise.

Loban8990 · 2023-04-22T10:44:04+00:00

So loyal.

JamesJ74 · 2023-04-22T13:16:37+00:00

Brothers in this world were on our own my advice to y’all is this live you’re life cut out all people like this lady here out your life build up your wealth as best you can and protect yourself. The best you can at all times. Some of us are in marriages and we don’t know that we’re are already alone.

SuddenYesterday4333 · 2023-04-22T14:28:57+00:00

lmao

Thealk3mist · 2023-04-22T17:49:07+00:00

She deserves the worst. Bar none. Those who leave their loved ones in time of need , are lower then scum.

Dapper_Platform_1222 · 2023-04-22T18:23:09+00:00

I can't honestly think of anything more self-centered and sociopathic than leaving someone because they fell ill.

DecimatingDarkDeceit · 2023-04-22T19:18:44+00:00

At this point I am genuinely considering Never getting into a committed (!) relationship because of these sheer depressive horror shows

guppy2019 · 2023-04-22T20:30:21+00:00

Girl power!! Yeah!!

Jack-mclaughlin89 · 2023-04-22T21:10:09+00:00

If she’s that kind of person her life doesn’t have much value

BullfrogNo1360 · 2023-04-27T05:19:57+00:00

Isn’t one of the vows in marriage go something like, “in sickness and in health?” 😂

Gooi-a-weg · 2023-04-30T21:16:43+00:00

To be fair though i think I've read a study that the inverse is far more common

Nuance007 · 2023-05-14T01:04:58+00:00

This reminds me of a female pastor turned stripper and public stripper who later opened an OF.

About a year or two ago I learned of her - one of those stories that you find on your newsfeed. I quickly read on her backstory because I had a good feeling on where her story was going. It was clear, to me at least, that she craved attention - being on stage with people looking at her. This was before she showed skin for money. She was also bisexual and married with kids.

She and her husband would later then get a divorce. Upon first glance one would think the husband wanted out of the marriage, but it turned out it was the wife that opted for divorce even when the husband accepted that she was bisexual and went as far as tolerating that she opened up an OF and starting stripping; she felt it wasn't enough - she felt that the marriage was oppressing her.

The woman has a whole site dedicated to herself, if that's any proof of her narcissism.

Just a couple of days ago a co-worker of mine started talking about a podcast he listens to. The podcast focused on male and female relationships, cracking jokes about their body counts. Among the guests was none other than the pastor turned stripper/OF. She admitted that she divorced her husband because she didn't want to be in a monogamous relationship.

Where did it go sideways? If I recall correctly, I remember reading on her site that she suffered from comorbidity, though not sure which DSM was listed. Go figure.

AmbigrammaticAir · 2023-05-15T22:29:19+00:00

https://www.cmlaw1.com/14-marriages-sick-spouse-divorce/#:~:text=The%20study%20revealed%20that%2021,likelihood%20that%20wives%20will%20stay.

I agree with men's rights but let's not kid ourselves that men aren't 7x more likely to leave their sick spouse than women

Demons_in_your_mom · 2023-05-19T21:37:51+00:00

Man needs a villain arc

Title	My boyfriend's cancer was ruining my mental health so I left him
Author	Kagedeah
Upvotes	1164
Comments	180
Date	April 21, 2023 5:00 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/12uaw0x/my_boyfriends_cancer_was_ruining_my_mental_health/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-boyfriends-cancer-was-ruining-my-mental-health.1215396 https://theredarchive.com/post/1215396

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