Question 4 Women: Do you value the men in your life?

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2023-05-20T11:45:54+00:00

This place is much different but I wanted to ask if any of the women here appreciate the men in their lives despite the vitriol against men that is so prevalent here?

Is this seriously a question? Yes, I do.

Just because I don't act lovey-dovey to some men on PPD that are busy raging at Chad, sucking off malefluencers, or screeching about the dreaded Wall^TM doesn't mean I don't value the actual men in my life.

I'm grateful for even the littlest things they do that show me they care.

My partner took care of dinner on his own yesterday, so I could comfort a friend who just went through a pretty awful breakup. Despite being busy himself, he made sure I was able to prioritise being there for my friend and help her through a really shitty time.

How could I not love and value him?

AngeCruelle · 2023-05-20T10:39:31+00:00

I do. It's the men in my life who tell me this sub sounds insane and I shouldn't believe anything I read here.

ashpr0ulx · 2023-05-20T10:32:20+00:00

yup. my life is full of wonderful, thoughtful men. my dad, my boyfriend, my brother, brother in law…. all good, kind men. and a couple of nephews who are some of the sweetest and funniest little boys, for whom i would literally fight a fucking kangaroo

GooseneckRoad · 2023-05-20T10:15:55+00:00

Absolutely, the men in my life are some of the most inspiring people I can imagine and the best example of what being a man should be. My Dad, my brother, and my grandfather are my heroes each in a unique way.

CandidIndication · 2023-05-20T12:11:20+00:00

Strange. Of course I do. My dad and step dad, my grandfathers, my uncles, my boyfriend, his brother and his father, even my boss. They’re all important valued people to me.

I value them because of their character, their perspective, kindness. I value them because they’re good people and I trust them.

But I don’t value them just because they’re men, and I don’t value random men more then I would any other random person. I can respect random men in the sense of “I respect that you’re a person with autonomy” kind of way - but I don’t like open the obituary page and attend funerals of random men. I don’t worship men.

It seems like that’s what some posters lean toward on this sub… the desire for women to inherently worship all men.

solstice-sky · 2023-05-20T11:08:30+00:00

All of the men in my life are wonderful, kind, and pleasant. I appreciate them. I only know one person who has PPD-esque views on life and he is miserable, exhausting, and self-hating, but I don’t know him in person so he doesn’t count.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-05-20T11:58:30+00:00

Of course. I don’t value or not value the people in my life based on gender, but on their character. Just because we acknowledge the reality that there are a lot of misogynistic and toxic men, doesn’t mean that women don’t have men in our lives we love and value. I wouldn’t be with my boyfriend if I didn’t value him. My grandpa has sadly been gone a while but was very important to me growing up and I miss him every day. My father, it’s more complicated because he caused a lot of issues in my life growing up and is pretty much the definition of a toxic person unfortunately, but I still love and care about him because he’s my dad. Overall, I have to be honest that there are more women of good character in my life than men, but the men who are, I value them just as much.

houstongradengineer · 2023-05-20T14:51:42+00:00

I do appreciate my father, my husband, and my absolutely amazing male colleagues. They've helped me, and for that I appreciate them. I enjoy talking to them and spending time with them.

Whoever told you men are undervalued? Just because I think people should have to be competent adults in order to be in committed, sexual adult relationships does not mean I undervalue men. In all honesty, if a woman could not act like a competent adult, I would tell her the same.

This is essentially the list to be competent:

-responsible about hygiene including sexual health -keep a job, at least try to make ends meet -emotionaly/socially functional and not bigoted

That's literally it. I never got on Beyonce's internet and said that men are literally bad people if they can't do that. All I said was that maybe it's a good thing of people who try to have adult relationships can focus on acting like an adult in these ways. Usually, men were the ones who needed to be told, honestly.

2023-05-20T10:59:57+00:00

I value my husband probably as much as it is humanly possible to value someone. I certainly appreciate the men around me who do nice things for myself and society, and keep us safe. (Emergency responders and police officers, just as an example.)

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-05-20T17:01:15+00:00

No, I kick my husband every morning and hiss at my father over the phone.

Yes, of course I value them, I love them. They wouldn't be a part of my life if I didn't value them. They are lovely, kind people that value their loved ones as well.

I can't help but roll my eyes at the whole "women here are so hateful towards men" thing because a lot of guys on this sub are hateful to women and yet, we don't get Q4M threads every other day in the spirit of "men, are you actually horrible people?". Those do exist, but they're not as common, guys get more nuanced questions.

Every other Q4W is asking if we're shallow, if we'd give up our pets for some guy, if we have men in our lives we like, etc. None of these are in good faith, it's like asking someone "So when did you stop kicking puppies for fun?", it's a transparent attempt to have women admit that we truly are awful. And, without fail, there's guys in the automod whining about how there's no point in asking women these questions because we're somehow all lying if we don't follow the narrative some guys here have.

dishonouronmycow · 2023-05-20T11:00:28+00:00

Yes, I have so much love for the incredible men in my life. I love to see them happy and thriving and lift them up when they’re down. My dad and my brother especially mean the world to me

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-05-20T17:43:42+00:00

Men are very undervalued in society today more than ever at every turn by men and especially by women,

I would disagree with this premise and note that men are valuable because they are people, not because they are men. And they have more freedom to be appreciated for being people and not just the archaic idea of a 'provider' and 'protector'.

We've had this question before and many of us responded about the men in our life we value.

I am very lucky in that many men in my family, many mentors and coaches I have had, some of the men I've dated, and the men who are my friends, those who report to me, those I have reported to, acquaintances, people I meet through my industry et cetera mostly have been pretty decent and are great.

My brother in law is cool as fuck. My coworker from my previous company too. Many of my staff there as well. The guy I'm seeing is pretty fucking solid too.

My friends from school and university who I still keep in touch with, casual friends at my good friend's house parties, and on and on.

Lolabird2112 · 2023-05-20T13:09:46+00:00

Weird how when I look at your own comments I see nothing but a man constantly undervaluing women, talking about them as simple fucks, and being totally misogynistic.

Which is typical in this sub, but then you come on here and whine about “vitriol” and men not being appreciated enough? Dude, that’s embarrassing.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-05-20T11:14:45+00:00

I absolutely value the shit out of the men in my life and my life is more amazing because of all of them. I tell them frequently how much I love and appreciate them

_____ad_____ · 2023-05-20T11:47:22+00:00

Of course!! I have always had a lot of male friends and I always want to help them and give them the space to talk about their feelings. It’s hard for me to know that so many men are struggling and feel unworthy.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-05-20T12:11:27+00:00

Sure do.

I value my stepdad more than his own kids do. His kids treat him terrible and I feel bad for him. Hes a good man.

Justwannaread3 · 2023-05-20T13:00:05+00:00

Yes, I deeply value my boyfriend, father, brother, uncles, and male friends, all of whom are nothing like so many of the men on this sub.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-05-20T11:48:04+00:00

I value the men in my life who give me reason to value them, same as the women. I don't value them specially or differently just because they have dicks, even if many men do expect that. Most of the people who I'm close to are male. If they're misogynistic I'll call them out on that, but their fundamental nature is as good as anyone else. There's a difference between saying that society has set up a system to privilege men and hating that system, and hating men.

AdOpen432 · 2023-05-20T11:17:25+00:00

Bffr of course women value men in their lives we aren't just robots programmed to not have feelings and to hate people, you would be mad if I asked you if you valued the women in your life.

EulenWatcher · 2023-05-20T18:34:37+00:00

Sure. I love men I'm close with and I value their company. I've uprooted my life for my husband's safety and I always try to be a good friend to my friends, whatever their gender is.

PPD men aren't men I'm close with or men I'm friends with though. PPD men are mostly always changing accounts with a few exceptions. Some are nice and I can have good conversations with them, some are just trolls and I don't mind to reply to them with the same lack of respect or care as they talk to others.

bigpapirick · 2023-05-20T15:27:16+00:00

I don’t know this society you are describing? What world is this? Do you really believe this is the predominant sentiment held in reality?

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-05-20T12:12:44+00:00

Of course I do. I can't imagine my life without them. It's a strange question to be honest. If you hate a gender for the gender's sake something is profoundly wrong with you.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-05-20T12:13:27+00:00

the only people alive that I value are my husband and my father, theyre all I have left

ChadChasingB · 2023-05-20T12:44:55+00:00

I love and value all of the men in my personal life. They wouldn't be close to me otherwise.

Motherofvampires · 2023-05-20T12:59:08+00:00

My off line life is a man free zone. Not by choice, by death and divorce.

screechingfeminazi · 2023-05-20T22:02:11+00:00

My sons are the most important people in my life, hands down, and 2 out of 3 of my closest friends are male. So yeah. What a weird question.

And if you're seeing more vitriol against men than against women in this sub, you need to work on your reading comprehension.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-05-20T23:01:49+00:00

I value no one and nothing I'm totally nihilistic and lay down on the floor anytime something inconvenient happens and flail around like a fish

Safinated · 2023-05-20T15:48:28+00:00

Why wouldn’t we? That would be dumb to hang around people we don’t like and don’t value

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-05-20T16:52:02+00:00

What men?

My partner, Absolutely, I value him.

My grounds keeper? I value his work.

The mailman? I value the way he looks in his cute little uniform.

I_DRINK_ANARCHY · 2023-05-20T19:20:04+00:00

What a bizarre question. Maybe people need to be reminded that Reddit isn't the same as real life, firstly.

But of course I value the men in my life. My husband is wonderful, I can't imagine a life without him. We're a tight knit team and I think I'm lucky to have him. I have a fantastic relationship with my dad, and my brothers. I'm there for them whenever I can be, and I love my extended family very much as well. I have many male friends and their happiness and success is important to me. Heck, even my job is male-oriented, so most of my coworkers are dudes and enjoy working with them; we work to support each other on the job sites.

I am someone who tries to be nice to strangers, so while I don't "value" men on the street the way I do my husband or friends, I don't think ill of anyone until they give me a reason to do so. I think all people deserve basic respect, so until a guy acts like a douchebag or a creep, I've got no issue with him.

BusinessGarage2606 · 2023-05-20T20:57:52+00:00

I appreciate my fiance.

I don't appreciate men from my former church or from my school or my family. The reason is simple: they were extremely misogynystic towards me and growing up I felt I was inferior to men simply because of the things they told me.

Most of them support the most misogynystic polititians in my country and openly say that they agree with them.

They criticized my hobbies as not girly and uninportant and made fun of my plans for the future. My brother got a lot of support while I didn't. His hobbies were paid for while mine weren't because I was a girl. My mother was treated like trash and couldn't have time for herself while my dad could relax everyday.

And don't get me started about all of the sexist jokes I heard while I was growing up.

redkoicarp · 2023-05-20T12:32:39+00:00

Of course. What a strange question that is...

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-05-20T19:11:46+00:00

No, they genuinely suck. They don’t add anything to my life despite me being beneficial to them. My father, brother, cousins, uncles would call on me if they needed help but I could never rely on them. They would leave me for dead given the chance if I were ever deemed not useful to them.

niganayesgvna · 2023-05-20T12:13:45+00:00

Of course! I value the men in my life more than most of the women in my life, because it was the men that always showed up for me while most of the women did not. I tell my husband everyday how grateful I am for him, because I spontaneously feel that way all the time thanks to his love.

Rumin8ting_ · 2023-05-20T19:17:28+00:00

I love men period. Especially those in my life.

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Individual-Trash-452 · 2023-05-20T10:09:00+00:00

Of course. For example I love my dad and I have a few very kind, caring male relatives. Some of my university professors are also supportive and inspiring men and I look up to them. I know a lot of toxic guys and most men are extremely rude to me because I'm ugly, but the ones who treat every women with respect, especially women they're not attracted to deserve to be valued the most imo.

neetykeeno · 2023-05-20T17:49:20+00:00

They vary.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2023-05-21T11:37:16+00:00

My husband is the best actual human I’ve ever known in my life. Plus I’m really into him in a M/F way. So yes, I value him immensely.

Efficient_Day_9220 · 2023-05-21T15:52:35+00:00

This is a funny question, considering all the men here post about how worthless women are beyond their holes. Especially older women (30+ women are especially hated here).

Sophiatab · 2023-05-21T21:03:01+00:00

I value the men in my life who are good human beings. The men in my life who are not decent human being, I hate and wish were dead.

AdhesivenessLevel379 · 2023-05-21T23:35:24+00:00

Yes I do, I have wonderful men in my family and a loving partner.

I don’t value men who ask daft questions like this and genuinely believe men are undervalued

Hela_AWBB · 2023-05-22T07:54:25+00:00

300000000% yes! My fiance works hard and gives his all at everything he sets his mind to. I have nothing but the utmost respect and appreciation for that and make a genuine effort to tell him every day that I am proud of him and everything he does. I know not everyone is like this, it is something I personally find important in a relationship - appreciating, uplifting and nurturing. When we first started dating he was very awkward and didn't have a lot of self-confidence but with the right support and having someone to always cheer him on he has blossomed! I couldn't possibly be any prouder of him.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-05-24T14:37:35+00:00

Ask my partner. He thinks I do, and I'm glad he does.

Title	Question 4 Women: Do you value the men in your life?
Author	MrHustleTopG
Upvotes	2
Comments	94
Date	May 20, 2023 9:55 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13mnon3/question_4_women_do_you_value_the_men_in_your_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/question-4-women-do-you-value-the-men-in-your-life.1219815 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219815

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