Separated and wife is rounding 3rd base

5unshine_Daydream · 2023-05-22T10:58:46+00:00

he fingered her while she jacked him off.

Why in the hell would she even tell you this? Start communicating through a lawyer. Otherwise, work on letting her go. She is no longer a part of your life. Unfortunately, the thing that helped me the most was time.

boon0053 · 2023-05-22T10:05:00+00:00

Don’t believe a word. They all said that to us too. Bs.

OneKaleidoscope2787 · 2023-05-22T08:55:01+00:00

Women emotionally check out of a relationship usually long before a guy does. She probably already knew him for longer than she’s letting on. Sorry man, it really sux.i think a lot of guys (myself included) have been in your spot before.

Long-Review-1861 · 2023-05-22T08:34:03+00:00

You just accept it as part of life no matter how shit it feels. What women say compared to what they do are very different. Very few of them are actually honorable with their word

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2023-05-22T10:23:44+00:00

Why are you letting her tell you that some guy finger-banged her while she jerked him off? As soon as her conversation turned, it would be best if you had been heading for the door.

If she tries to share with you again then I would start treating her like the slut she is. I got wind of my Ex doing some stuff before we were actually divorced. I was able to get some voicemails (it was actually an extra phone I had. I had let her use it for awhile, she was supposed to get her own phone) from a couple of guys she was talking to. The voicemails were in response to messages she had left them. The guys were obviously horny and it was clear what they were responding to. I asked her if she wanted me to share the voicemails with her family or keep them around for when the kids were older. She immediately changed her behavior... at least until the divorce was final.

Actually, she is worse than a slut... she is now your enemy in the divorce proceeding. Put that anger to good use... prepare for the upcoming divorce accordingly.

WindowFuzz · 2023-05-22T11:53:08+00:00

You should be careful--she may be trying to trigger you so that you act violently and then it can be used against you in court. I've had friends who, despite all their years of education and advice to the contrary, sent some threatening texts or emails, and then the ex-wife sent those around to all their friends and family in an effort to alienate them from him. It worked.

Certain-Line-6351 · 2023-05-22T11:25:21+00:00

Tbh she checked out a while ago an has been wanting to be with someone else for a while.

If anything be happy she waited until you separated. Stop talking to her at the point and go no contact. Staying in contact an hearing that shit is gonna drive you nuts.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2023-05-22T12:13:35+00:00

She’d already cheated. Forget her. After awhile you’ll see she’s not worth the energy.

Stacking_Plates45 · 2023-05-22T12:03:30+00:00

Going to be brutally honest but not much that can be done. It sounds like it’s pretty well over.

The pain and sick of feeling goes away someday hen you accept it all though

DigitalisEffect · 2023-05-22T13:50:37+00:00

Thanks for all the comments, and they all align with how I’ve been feeling. I honestly think I’m more hurt from the fact that she moved on so quickly. She was never this sexual when she was with me, so I guess that says a lot.

aray0220 · 2023-05-22T11:51:06+00:00

I'm sorry brother. You have a tough road ahead of you. You need to start thinking with your head and not your heart. She's no longer the woman you built up in your head.

storm838 · 2023-05-22T13:12:47+00:00

She already grand slammed, face it. Move on bro, its painful but gotta be done. Do not have a relationship with someone who would tell you something like that, it was only meant to hurt you and it worked. Insulate yourself

Retying3043 · 2023-05-22T12:54:56+00:00

She was never yours, it was only your turn.

All relationships have expiration dates.

You are witnessing female nature first hand.

Start learning about hypergamy, briffault’s law, female mating strategy, etc.

Learning about these concepts will answer a lot of your questions.

I feel for you and understand that it still hurts, emotionally. Feel your feelings and they will pass. Many other men have been through this.

wisstinks4 · 2023-05-22T12:11:37+00:00

You need to look out for you and your children. You need to plan for your pending divorce. Retain legal council, talk to your family let them know she is a cheating b|+€# giving up on your marriage and family. Get tested for std. Dont lose you patience. No yelling or screaming. Don’t let stbxw paint you as a bad dad, or unstable father. Lawyers can make you look like a monster when you’re not. It’s more important for you to be the big strong dad take charge of the shitty situation and lead it. Lead it to an outcome you want. Put her on the defense and you drive it.

Gather all 4 kids out for breakfast as a group with Dad, talk to them then talk to each child to understand their level of dealing with family breakup. No matter what occurs, Dad loves them to the moon and back.

You are still young, if you desire, there are women available. You could find a true dedicated loyal women to enjoy life with you. Be safe out there.

hotantipasta · 2023-05-22T13:36:58+00:00

It doesn't sound like she is wanting to fix your marriage. It sounds like it's time to move forward with the divorce. My ex said she wanted to try and work it out. I turns out that she just wanted to use my bank account to fund her escapades and plan her exit from the marriage. It sounds like she may be doing the same.

brandon_cabral · 2023-05-22T14:26:14+00:00

She was never yours, it was just your turn.

Cautious-Low4385 · 2023-05-22T15:51:28+00:00

Remember to thank God every day for letting you be part of life today. Remember that YOU create your life, you control what YOU do right now, and that’s about it. So make life good as much as possible and watch how you react to things. You can’t control a lot of things that happen in life but you can control how you react to them and that’s important because every reaction creates someone else’s new action

georeddit2018 · 2023-05-22T17:47:26+00:00

She already fucked him. Probably already morned the loss and checked out of the marriage before telling you.

Zealousideal-Bear-37 · 2023-05-22T12:45:12+00:00

It’s over mate . Move on

Ecstatic-Eye-5766 · 2023-05-22T14:31:44+00:00

Move on, yes she is gonna fuck as many people as she wants… she is not “ yours” it’s not a toy or something you possess, move on man.

beatlecereal · 2023-05-22T18:32:23+00:00

My ex talking to and fucking random dudes use to bother me, but when I found out and realized my “friends” were trying to get with my ex that bothered me even more.

DigitalisEffect · 2023-05-23T11:45:07+00:00

Whelp, just got confirmation that she did in fact fuck him. So I’m just ready to get this over with.

stent00 · 2023-05-22T16:30:49+00:00

SHe bElLoNgS tO ThE sTrEeTs

stent00 · 2023-05-22T16:30:58+00:00

SHe bElLoNgS tO ThE sTrEeTs

SoupDense1670 · 2023-05-23T14:40:58+00:00

Her pussy is only good for a couple of fucks and dump. You think that guy she is hooking up with is going to keep the bitch with four kids and take care of her. Hell no. She is going to be a cum dumb whore from now on. Till she realizes by the fourth guy.

She chose to be whore. Get your self tested. She might have already cheated on you in the past.

007--Chill · 2023-05-22T13:41:18+00:00

Go purchase one pair of panties and rub it on some fish and drop it on the floor for her to pick up. Until she finds it!

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-05-22T13:29:17+00:00

Why is she telling you everything and why are you asking? Does she get off on hurting you? Now my suggestion is that you start going out with someone younger and preferably someone that has no kids that will ease the pain and yeah kick that bitch out she isn't your wife anymore. Let her get fingered on the regular since that's what she wants

Objective_Problem_90 · 2023-05-22T13:49:17+00:00

I'd be getting a lawyer and giving her divorce papers, Pronto. Your marriage is over. Why put up with hearing all the slutty things she is doing with someone else?

ComfortableKey6864 · 2023-05-22T15:06:18+00:00

The anger and the jealousy suck, you are just going to have to push through and get the divorce over with. File asap. Cover your butt, get your own lawyer and make sure the divorce decree is fair and equitable. Not sure what state you are in but it can happen fairly quickly. Start figuring out your life without her and plan ahead. Get a decent place, don’t settle and start saving money for emergencies. I promise it will get better over time and time really is the only thing that helps. Also consider a counselor, preferably male. It’s difficult but when communicating about your children, stick to the facts and try not to bring emotions into it. I’m telling you all this because I made a lot of mistakes when I got divorced. Women are built different than men and they move on well before we realize it. Current society benefits mothers. The finger banging story is probably watered down, she’s not telling the entire story and it’s best you don’t know anymore than that. Good luck. I’m three years divorced and wish I’d found this place back then. You are better off in the long run, think of your child support as the money you pay for your new life without the hassles of a ball and chain wife.

smooth-vegetable-936 · 2023-05-22T17:55:45+00:00

Move on man. I was married for 14 years with two kids. She’s lying just like my x. It is what it is. Some women don’t think unfortunately and they get taking advantage of. I wouldn’t let her in again if I were u after what she’s done plus u have no right to tell her anything. Mooooooove on

IslandSparty · 2023-05-22T19:35:42+00:00

Echoing all the comments. However, I’ll share the revelation that helped me get over. This shut used to bother me too, couldn’t care less now. I don’t trust a word my ex says to me. Not one thing. Not only to I care whose fingerbanging her, I wouldn’t believe it if she told me. What she says to me has zero impact on me emotionally, except wishing my kids had s better role model mother.

ironwolf9 · 2023-05-22T21:13:11+00:00

She moved on long before you guys separated

1antinomy · 2023-05-23T05:44:01+00:00

They already fucked bro smh

We’re not 15 anymore

If you put two adults in one room, there will be fucking going on

JoAnn1961 · 2023-05-23T07:48:55+00:00

The best advice on this is teenagers kiss, adults f&ck.

Mark_Foureh · 2023-05-23T11:49:53+00:00

my stbx did the same thing. she had a one night stand (just one that i know of ) a week after i filed for divorce. She was the one who decided she wanted to end it, but wouldn't file because she was afraid of loosing her security. I'm in the process of trying to move out, but we still live together. She hasn't worked in 15 years, Shes on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, and is a tik tok addict going through a mid life crisis. She has no plan, but knows she doesn't want it to involve me. Ok fine, so I filed, and she didn't even wait until i moved out to have a one night stand. it hurt like hell for about 48 hours. We were together 23 years and we were each others only sex partners that whole time. it was amazing how fast that shit went out the window. I have a good support system of people to call when times get tough, so i reached out to those people, who helped me through the pain part. At the end of the day, its really just an ego wound. We know this is coming eventually with being seperated, its just a huge ego stab when they do it first. If you were getting satisfying, casual sex, would you still care what she was doing? Move on, and don't worry about if you're getting sex or not. that will come when it comes. Shes out looking for validation just like you'd be doing if you could. Its just way easier for woman because men will fuck anything willing and eager. Shes not special or "winning", shes just being used for friction. Shes no longer special. Shes no longer yours. She actually did you a favor because it will accelerate the "Getting over her" process, trust me.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-05-23T14:02:09+00:00

Hate to tell you this man but this new Mr. wonderful has probably been around longer than you think. Also they have 100% had sex if you think it stopped at a handjob you are just fooling yourself.

From this point onward you need to accept that everything out of your wife’s mouth is a lie and probably has been for years. Snap out of denial, get angry and get a lawyer. Do not give her anything to hold against you, protect yourself and for the love of god stop pain shopping and asking her for sexual details you’re going to drive yourself crazy.

New_Effective_8773 · 2023-05-23T23:44:45+00:00

Who the heck talks about fingering someone else when they're in their late 30's? It's something that would be said like in high school by someone . That has got to be the most unneeded detail mentioned in regards to her being intimate with someone.

mdg711 · 2023-05-24T02:01:32+00:00

She showed her true character do not Easter anymore time with her

DCnative2020 · 2023-05-24T17:54:52+00:00

" And knowing how she works, the next time she sees him she’s going to fuck him."

she probably already has but not telling you. If she has not she definitely will this weekend its a 3 day weekend. Women move fast bro so either you play the game of one upping her or chill and go work on yourself like hitting the gym, eating healthy, stop drinking or drugs, and make new friends.

My suggestion is to only communicate with her regarding the 4 kids. otherwise, let her live her shitty life.

Title	Separated and wife is rounding 3rd base
Author	DigitalisEffect
Upvotes	32
Comments	65
Date	May 22, 2023 8:21 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13okpvu/separated_and_wife_is_rounding_3rd_base/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/separated-and-wife-is-rounding-3rd-base.1219975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219975

Comments