What is it with girls when they see other women are interested in you, they become super interested?

Mtbr_29 · 2022-03-02T06:55:16+00:00

Social proof, pre selection and high value implications.

quantumactual · 2022-03-02T08:13:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

obviouslybait · 2022-03-02T13:00:17+00:00

I would never sleep with anybody at work, too risky. My uncle, a natural womanizer, used to say "don't shit where you eat" and "fight away and peace att home". This means to respect your pillars and work is one of those, it's security. By sleeping with coworkers you create a reputation for yourself and it might even lead to drama between these women or yourselves... And you are going to see each other every day. No thanks.

About other women getting interested in men that are popular among the ladies... It depends, some get turned off by it and others get curious and wonder "what is it with him!" which may lead to some kind of flirting. So I guess it's about value.

Cheers / I

rustoof · 2022-03-02T07:49:08+00:00

Generally in seduction the why is overrated compared to the how and the what

YoBeaverBoy · 2022-03-02T10:00:06+00:00

I have no idea but it seems like this really is the case.

When I was single I had so many girls ignore me. Now that I got into a relationship, suddenly I've had girls message me. What the fuck.

thriwawaygtft4df · 2022-03-02T06:45:53+00:00

Cuz girls like the best value. They are in competition to get the men thats high value. If they see a guy every girl wants, they will want him to, cuz they are tryna win him over other girls.

Women who hit on men in relationships, its a mix of a ego and like a stigma, with a mix of confidence. Because they think that man is high value, but they also think they are pretty enough to make men cheat.

NineteenAD9 · 2022-03-02T13:03:25+00:00

How many relationships or marriages have you heard about where a man stayed with a woman after she cheated?

Very few.

How many relationships or marriages have you heard about where a woman stayed with a man after he cheated?

A lot more.

Men can't unsee infidelity. Promiscuity is not a value, nor do men have any desire to change an unfaithful woman. It's a dig to men to have a woman that the streets had. You'll never hear the end of it.

Women can forgive infidelity. Promiscuity is not a value to them in the sense that they enjoy being cheated; it's that other women want their man, who could be of high value, and they love the feeling of having someone that everyone else wants.

wont_give_no_kreddit · 2022-03-02T14:53:25+00:00

Yes its odd. Im by myself ready to mingle and nobody bats an eye. I go out with my female friends or on a date and all of the sudden I am "free real estate" lol

Expensive_Law_1193 · 2022-03-02T10:19:44+00:00

Same reason why people will rather go to a restaurant with a lot of people.

notLOL · 2022-03-02T12:04:26+00:00

Guess I know why I’m still single. What a fucced up catch22 situation

Ukhai · 2022-03-02T08:30:46+00:00

You may not see it, but people do change when they aren't being thirsty. Those in relationships, no matter if it's just a one night stand or whatever, are more approachable. Small things like being more open, relaxed/comfortable, not uptight.

If I see a girl who has been sleeping around, I def don't want her to be a part of my life

And how do you think others see you?

Charge36 · 2022-03-02T07:32:41+00:00

I never really understood why guys don't want to sleep with promiscuous women. They're generally very sexual and loads of fun in the bedroom.

If you want to live in a world where quality sex is easy to come by, you should absolutely support the women that make it possible.

NattyGains4Life · 2022-03-02T15:21:54+00:00

Women realize it’s a high value mate, if they see a pretty girl (or girls) flock to him they’re like “‘maybe there’s something about him”

intensityuntilgoal · 2022-03-02T10:10:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Streak210 · 2022-03-02T17:15:25+00:00

Imagine you're in a swamp filled with sickly trees with poisonous fruit. You're very hungry and you need to find fruit that isn't poisonous.

You see other people eating from a certain healthy looking tree so you figure to yourself I guess that fruit isn't poisonous!

BigBoyValentinoo · 2022-03-02T15:23:14+00:00

I had no clue either, than i started doing this as a trick on girls in a company...and it is literally as they are now competing for my attention and which will get the grand reward. Psychology is fun;)

kylefofyle · 2022-03-02T12:04:59+00:00

Because if they are chosen “over” someone else they feel “special” and serves as validation they’re as valuable or more valuable than the previous woman. Pete Davidson is gonna be swimming in bitches for a long time.

ThePenTester88 · 2022-03-02T15:19:07+00:00

That's how and why Pete Davidson keeps ending up with all these pretty women. Sure, I'm sure he has a great personality but most women are obsessed with bragging rights and outdoing other women, so a lot will do it just to say they did, if that makes sense.

Kinda like, "hey, how is this dude with ariana grande, he's so ugly?" and then it starts up their thinking machine and makes them curious to see what's so special about this guy... and low and behold, they get with him out of a "popularity" thing. Same thing in like, high school. everyone wants to be friends with the popular kid/group even if they are complete douchebags because, they are popular which will make YOU look popular.

rwalsh138 · 2022-03-02T16:00:52+00:00

Women find you sexy if OTHER women find you sexy. I feel like it comes from insecurity, like women will be embarrassed if other women think her man is gross. They can't bear the shame of being with a nonsexy person.

2022-03-02T16:05:30+00:00

All pre selection baby. All pre selection.

I've noticed that at work when word spread around how I dated this chick who never gave any other guy the chance (funny thing is, she's not all of that and she lacks communication along with the understanding of how to treat someone). Now more and more women are checking me out because if that woman let me date her, then there's something that other women could be missing out on.

Most women can't help to feel the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) so when that kicks in, then their attraction spikes for that guy when originally they wouldn't even give him the time of the day. 🤷🏿‍♂️

dametime223 · 2022-03-02T16:51:12+00:00

My female cousin told me once "If a girl asks you if you're single tell them you're not". I took it for granted back then but as time passed by I realized that was a golden advice.

originalgainster · 2022-03-02T15:24:51+00:00

Human psychology. Would you like to go spend money at a restaurant with no customers or would you prefer a place that is relatively busy?

everythingharam · 2022-03-02T12:00:01+00:00

To say it is biological is hog wash. Sometimes it is herd mentality lol. Women simply want validation and if you’re with some other woman they’ll seek that even if you’re generally unattractive to them.

Perfect_War5446 · 2022-03-02T07:59:08+00:00

It’s called pre selection

Jibu_LaLaRoo · 2022-03-02T15:53:10+00:00

As someone who’s very lonely I can’t but read this post and comments and just feel depressed…

FactCheckYou · 2022-03-02T10:56:52+00:00

a lot of them don't really know their own minds

avm95 · 2022-03-02T14:29:06+00:00

You don't give off this hungry vide, you walk with confidence

2022-03-02T22:34:19+00:00

Because women are hardwired to compete for a mate. They can argue all day long, but nature cannot lie. The drive is so strong, that even women have no idea why they do it. It's unconscious behavior.

It's the primordial drive to breed for status and resources. Percieved "Handsome" men have those traits that are universally coveted for healthy offspring.

It's a much longer discussion than able to have here, but just read about it. Very interesting.

Aquix · 2022-03-02T09:48:56+00:00

Men and women want different things and thus have different value systems. Promiscuity in women isn't a particularly attractive feature for men (because that introduces competition with sperm and not knowing whether it's actually their offspring). Promiscuity (success with women) in men is an indication of high social value and good genes, which is are both highly valuable in the eyes of women.

Remember that a woman's position in the tribe depends on men granting her permission to be there. Women depend on men to survive in the tribe (by nature, alpha males could survive on their own in the wild whereas women couldn't). This is why women are masters at maneuvering social boundaries and will often seek validation. They try to pair with men of the highest social value they can acquire because that secures their position in the tribe. The "good genes" part is obvious - women want men with the best set of genes to impregnate them.

Practising_Stoic · 2022-03-02T13:24:59+00:00

Competition, the fact that they have to compete with other women for the stud guy, makes him scarce and more valuable.

Women want to be selected from other women, they want to be chosen by a higher value male. How can a man do that when he has no other women to be choosing from?

Used-Basil3503 · 2022-03-02T15:45:08+00:00

The only reason is that he’s good looking, and these women want to have casual sex with him. They could also be the type/quality of women who don’t value emotional connections or standards, maybe party girls who just want to have fun or a wild phase they’re going through. Are these the type of women you want to attract? If not, Then you shouldn’t worry or let it bother you that the good looking man who wants to sleep around is doing so. You set your standards high and the intelligent woman with standards will reciprocate. Tbh, there are plenty of quality women who wouldn’t go for these player type of men. Even if they do, it’ll be a phase they’ll quickly grow out of.

Adadum · 2022-03-02T18:09:41+00:00

Alot of girls want what they can't have at the same time that a guy with a woman is typically not behaving thirsty.

They see a guy that's taken so they'll flirt because they have an excuse "no he's married/taken/etc" if they get called out about it so it's "safe" whether the girl is actually trying to steal the guy or not.

2022-03-02T21:26:14+00:00

Pre-selection, as well as the inverse, which is ego gratification. Women get a boost in validation if they think or feel like they can steal a guy away from the woman that he's with. It translates to "Wow, I must be more attractive than she is if he wants me instead of her."

Women are super competitive about looking better than other women. We literally have pageants for that.

RedditorCabron · 2022-03-02T23:45:29+00:00

In Biology its called Mate Choice Copying. I noticed it too. My wife is very good looking and hates staying out late. When we'd go out drinking she'd leave about 11 while I'd stay back and take an uber. I'd always get hit on way more after she left than when I'd go out alone with the guys. Turns out women would see me with a beautiful girl and thought more of me because of it. Apparently there's science behind it.

loneprofessor · 2022-03-02T11:29:37+00:00

Monkey see – monkey do

krispykreme01 · 2022-03-02T13:17:41+00:00

Simple Pre-selection. Also it’s hard for men to get women at least way harder then the other way around. So that’s why most men don’t want a women who sleeps around, and if I man sleeps around he prob has a lot of qualities women are looking for. Hot take but Let’s face it most women can’t even think for themselves they got to talk to all their friends and need validation for most things.

classroomdaydreamer · 2022-03-02T18:32:49+00:00

a concept called SOCIAL PROOF

JACSliver · 2022-03-02T22:44:00+00:00

I for one would certainly comment on that if women who had not shown interest in me suddenly showed it when I get in a relationship. "When I was single and therefore 100% available, you said nothing, and NOW that I am taken, you want me? That is one of those things you think about before, not after. Too late."

TeamFunConfection · 2022-03-03T04:10:39+00:00

Many guys are turned off by sluts, and it makes evolutionary sense. A woman who is selective is a woman of high self-worth, and that is the kind of woman you want to breed with. Because so many men will sleep with any woman, every woman can easily have a different partner every day if she desires. The same is not true for men - men have to work to get a sexual conquest. So for a woman, a man who has many sexual partners is one who has been deemed worthy and high status, so he will be desirable.

cashedashes · 2022-03-02T14:46:55+00:00

I know I feel more confident with a cute girl on my side which changes my posture and attitude which can make you significantly more attractive. Body language is a lot of it imo. Confidence, happy/smiling, joking ect. Are all good ways to get some attention. I also feel like women are attracted to what they dont/cant have when another women has it. I also know when I'm with the boys it's more stupid humor and some attitude which is probably unattractive to a lot of girls?!

PuempelsPurpose · 2022-03-02T15:17:05+00:00

Proof of concept.

External_Lifeguard49 · 2022-03-02T17:21:37+00:00

Women are competitive. So they are competing for your attention.

xo_void_xo · 2022-03-02T18:23:32+00:00

Women talk. He may have good “qualities” women are looking for.

determinator94 · 2022-03-02T18:28:21+00:00

1 word - Preselection

Lepds · 2022-03-02T19:18:27+00:00

I don't know why preselection is such a strong attraction trigger, but in my experience it is indeed the most powerful of all of them. It could be something to do with the fact it signals higher status, or conveys trust, but I've no idea really.

geardluffy · 2022-03-02T20:20:43+00:00

Lol it makes no sense but use it wisely. If the situation appears that way, why not make the best of it? I wouldn’t want to appear as a player but I do want the girl I’m interested in to know that I have no issues communicating.

lana_del_reymysterio · 2022-03-02T22:05:57+00:00

Here's a question I have, if this statement is true, then why do women become distrustful of men they presume get lots of attention from women?

In my experience, when I became better looking and got myself in great shape, I found that women assumed I got lots of attention and play from women and thus were sleeping around a lot, so they became a lot more guarded and standoffish around me.

They never actually saw me with women but just the belief alone was enough for them to keep me at arms length

recyclablebanthas · 2022-03-03T00:08:41+00:00

1

What is it with girls when they see other women are interested in you, they become super interested?

This is a pretty common human thing: to want what others have, to reaffirm their perceived value by struggling to get something, or to want something it appears others want.

If you think about it, it's not really that strange.

2

Like a very handsome coworker of mine, he slept with 3 girls so far at work, and seems like all women at work are all over him now.

It may seem that way but it may not be that simple either. Unless you are privy to what the girls talk about when no one else is around, it's difficult to say exactly what all the women at work may think about him.

That said, people can be competitive in situations like this.

3

It's really funny, because it should be the other way around. If I see a girl has been sleeping around, I def don't want her to be part of my life.

The mistake here would be too apply what you would think or do in a specific situation and assume that it applies to every human.

It's actually pretty common for people to be insecure about knowing someone's sexual history because the tendency is to measure one's self against all the other people that someone has been with. Just something that people do.

Do you know for sure that everyone who's interested in this coworker knows that he has slept with three people there?

In any case, as for why these women specifically are into this guy, we could honestly write a book on all the myriad of reasons why people are attracted to people.

4

But in general, if a lot of people are pursuing someone who's sleeping around, it's generally dysfunctional on their part and if you're looking for anything long-term, then they've saved you time by putting red flags up now.

Otherwise, I'm not sure how any of this really applies to your own pursuit of whatever it is you're looking for.

YummyPanwitch · 2022-03-03T00:13:35+00:00

Well, girls talk. He’s probably hung or great in bed. And, it doesn’t sound like you’re exactly a chastity enthusiast for yourself. Assuming a woman is using protection and you see her sexuality as a turn off, you may want to think about why that is.

FrankyAvery · 2022-03-03T06:24:02+00:00

Maybe someone said he was good in bed. Maybe ur coworkers only want casual or maybe they just want to flirt.

LeBabuin · 2022-03-03T10:28:08+00:00

Most of the guys here stay on the fact that being in the company of girls makes them higher value in on itself, pre selection and FOMO . LAZY!!! All of that is true but only half the truth. It just puts the blame on girls for being superficial. The other half of the truth is just that being in the company of others makes you smooth,calibrated, more relaxed and fun. Approaching a girl while alone seems to meet two objectives 1) sexual needs 2) social needs. While in the company of others whatever gender social needs are being met already. So you are so much less needy. When a girl rejects me (and I am alone) I feel not only sexual rejection but social rejection too. But when I go out with friends especially girls who are more flowing in their interactions I feel more complete already.

When I am in relationship girls approach me even if they see me alone. Why? Because my whole character is that way. Because I ask less of them. Because I already feel confident and of higher value. Because I am already groomed and calibrated.Girls don't rate value. Men rate it for themselves. If I am feeling complete that feel projects to people.

$$$ Long story short, bahave everyday as you just woke up in bed with Sharon Stone . Behave as just you are a millionaire already. Behave as just you hung out with Lebron James and Joe Rogan. It's all in the mentality. Girls don't see logistics of how many girls you have around, but they're excellent at judging mentality. Pretent as if you have already fucked her. $$$

Busy_Stay6027 · 2022-03-02T10:32:13+00:00

What do u do? lol

nfornear · 2022-03-02T15:48:39+00:00

Your last sentence probably says a lot about your attitude towards girls.

Why would you not want a girl that has been sleeping around? You feel less special if you would hook up with her? She is not allowed to enjoy herself sexually (and you are?)

Deepika18 · 2022-03-02T10:17:09+00:00

God the cringe if they last sentence. How are there still so many guys like this in 2022? Like genuinely asking

AgniMitra011 · 2022-03-02T09:46:53+00:00

This is what Mystery calls 'Preselection'

2022-03-02T21:26:07+00:00

Pre-selection, as well as the inverse, which is ego gratification. Women get a boost in validation if they think or feel like they can steal a guy away from the woman that he's with. It translates to "Wow, I must be more attractive than she is if he wants me instead of her."

Women are super competitive about looking better than other women. We literally have pageants for that.

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-03-02T21:29:28+00:00

There are a segment of men and/or women that are like that. About a dozen years ago I had had brief relationships with a couple of women that I worked with. I was single (divorced) and there was a group of us that kind of did things together, bars, concert's, ballgames and movies, so we had a phone tree to provide location's, meeting places etc. So there were a number of people who had my cell number. There was a woman that worked with me that was single, we got along, talked laughed about stupid things etc. There came a point in time that (unsolicited) started sending me pictures of her boobs and her hoo ha. I didn't make a big deal out of it, and kinda blew them off. I used to park my car in the same spot, one night (summer) I'm walking to my car and saw her in her Jeep parked right behind me. I walked up and she had a bottle of champagne in the passenger floorboard and said, I know where we can go skinny dipping, hop in. I didn't want to tell her to pound sand, because I really didn't want to be mean. I lied about something that I had to do, she left very angry. It happens.

thaughty · 2022-03-03T06:12:50+00:00

It's pretty typical for men to have more anxiety and jealousy around women's sexual history compared to the reverse. Nothing unique here

mightymite88 · 2022-03-02T06:45:37+00:00

insecurity. they want to prove they are better than the other girl.

and dont slut shame either. promiscuous women are just as valid as anyone else. you're just showing your own insecurity by slut shaming.

maydarnothing · 2022-03-02T09:55:53+00:00

did i step into incel territory?

the comments are super...interesting.

IntelligentOutcome83 · 2022-03-02T10:27:08+00:00

There's some getting really close to answer your question it really comes into shiny meaning an alpha female in the consideration of your contacts or enough of mail I agree with some of the male comments we see a girl that's just traveling around losing my interest very quick good desirable fertile female that is not a b**** and a hoe I will seek women are the exact same way when I was younger and singular I had mean girls not wingman it was almost always a guaranteed way when my female friends and I went bar hopping cuz we're friends they were on my elbow you were chatting up and some juicy with start to get jealous like what she got I know I hope this information helps you in your quest

2022-03-02T12:46:39+00:00

Where do you guys work?

ProperDefinition6668 · 2022-03-02T18:18:03+00:00

Girls are the best wingman.

bluedrygrass · 2022-03-02T18:49:51+00:00

They're gregarious animals, unable to think on their own.

kyle_fall · 2022-03-02T21:26:21+00:00

Can I ask what industry you work in and how he managed to do that sneakily without getting in trouble?

kateki666 · 2022-03-02T09:12:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Paul_Morgan · 2022-03-02T08:26:01+00:00

What's the problem with girls who "sleep around"?

BigShuggy · 2022-03-02T10:15:45+00:00

To everyone saying it indicates value, how come men aren’t the same? I’m perfectly capable of imagining the value a woman could bring without literally seeing another man benefiting from it.

Graaarg999 · 2022-03-02T07:20:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-03-02T12:17:52+00:00

Makes no fucking sense. Altho yes it has to do with pre-selection, but show me one guy who gives a flying fuck if other guys are going after the girl he likes, or becomes more interested if they are. None. They dont give a shit. Oh but all the sudden girls like guys when the reverse is true.....? That right there shows you you need to stop trying to understand why. No one will every fucking know.

OmegaClifton · 2022-03-02T13:36:05+00:00

I always thought it was fear of missing out. They see you with someone else and are like "I wonder what's so good about him". Plus, they see proof that you are at least decent with women and not a lunatic.

PresidentGanker · 2022-03-02T16:06:24+00:00

It is because she wants to know what the other woman finds in you for herself. She wants to figure out if those other women are on to something.

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-03-02T16:07:37+00:00

I think its a combo of a cognitive shortcut which is the social proof. Evaluating someone for social & biological fitness is very difficult.

housebird350 · 2022-03-02T16:49:06+00:00

If I see a girl has been sleeping around, I def don't want her to be part of my life.

Dude, get some of that low hanging fruit....

According_Praline_16 · 2022-03-02T17:37:50+00:00

Because.....it is instinct to see if they can take you away from other women....to prove they still are the prettiest or still got it!

CoolKid2326 · 2022-03-02T19:25:51+00:00

It's a concept called preselection. use it to your advantage

2022-03-02T19:50:54+00:00

Why not?

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-03-02T20:30:54+00:00

If someone else is attracted to you, there must be a reason for it. Thus. You must be attractive.

willgo-waggins · 2022-03-02T20:54:53+00:00

Funny I had this happen just two weeks ago.

I went camping with my FWB. We aren’t committed but we are very close and have feelings. Obviously we also sleep together. We were sharing my tent and bed for the weekend and this was already established.

One of the other people in the small group was a woman who was new. Attractive but older than me by a few years (I’m 51 my FWB 33). She was very flirty and friendly.

My FWB (and we are both free to do our thing it’s not currently a committed relationship) was LOCKED to me for the rest of the weekend and surprisingly (she is a complete sweetheart and nice to EVERYONE) got really catty with this woman no matter what she did or said.

So they sense it too and realize what is happening. It’s not something I haven’t had happen many times before.

Low_Fondant9911 · 2022-03-02T21:26:48+00:00

Comp anxiety. Get your manosphere game up, fam

AtDaLastMinute · 2022-03-02T22:13:11+00:00

It's the vetting process. Women vet men for safety, virility, and over all value. When she sees another woman has done the vetting for her, it becomes easier.

SharkShift_DTC · 2022-03-02T22:25:02+00:00

I love this you guys are all smart people 😩

Revolutionary_Ad1846 · 2022-03-02T23:52:05+00:00

“La suerte de la fea la bonita desea.”

summitpaul · 2022-03-03T00:21:54+00:00

At the end of the day, biology rules!

No_Inspection_7176 · 2022-03-03T00:35:52+00:00

Ever been Black Friday shopping? You’re walking around and going hmm that looks okay, this seems interesting, etc but then you witness a fight break out and you’re instantly curious, why does everyone want to purchase this item, why are people fighting over it? It instantly becomes more appealing because of scarcity. I realize people aren’t objects, this is just an analogy. If something is readily available you’re able to kind of take your time to peruse the selection and really think on it…when you know it may very well be gone shortly you’re going to want it more and be forced to make a decision before it’s too late.

cormacru999 · 2022-03-03T02:07:22+00:00

This is a great example of how women are different from men, & how men get really judgy about women being free to have sex & men doing the same thing. God forbid women have lives. All the single men at work getting angry about the guy having fun & girls having fun.

Particular_Visual531 · 2022-03-03T02:46:01+00:00

attraction is based on two things primarily. Evolutionary biology, think good looks, tall guys, muscles, good hair. For women its good looks, good hair, body shape, and indicators of fertility like widen hips, full breasts. The second thing is social status. This is more important for men than women. We are mammals and are womens brains are hard wired to perceive social status as attractive, why? Because having a high social status mate meant the herd/tribe/group would more likely protect her family and babies. In times past that meant males that could protect the tribe, but today social status is conveyed through things like wealth, funny, likeable and lastly the perceived status of the mates that want to mate with the male. So the more and higher status women you are around, the more other women will perceive you as a high social status partner. There you go, its all just science, dont have seduction hard... make it science.

Title	What is it with girls when they see other women are interested in you, they become super interested?
Author	Hmton90
Upvotes	906
Comments	298
Date	March 2, 2022 6:36 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t4twrh/what_is_it_with_girls_when_they_see_other_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-it-with-girls-when-they-see-other-women.1265543 https://theredarchive.com/post/1265543

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