Dear seddit I've been drinking and have done 1000's of approaches and coach in my down time... here are some harsh truths for you all

JinTheUnleashed · 2019-01-25T17:06:04+00:00

Lmao that part about "having to take a piss" as an excuse to not go up to girls is hilarious. I had a friend of mine do that same thing but with playing lotto numbers LOL. One time I was with a client, and I was literally pushing him to go up to women on the street. Right after he witnessed me doing the exact same thing mind you.

I'd push him to go after a chick who was walking and he'd be 10 ft behind and start trailing her...AT THE SAME PACE. Tell me people, what happens if two people are walking 5mph 10 feet apart at the same speed of 5mph?

THAT'S RIGHT. NOTHING! Dude would trail the girl until she went into a store or something then turn around at me with a dumb face like "oh well she went into the store"

It's like, dude, are you trying to improve? Because by making excuses like that you show you're not willing to take responsibility for your actions. Instead looking for any way out to mentally excuse/cope with yourself. That kind of mindset will NEVER GET IT DONE.

WIA20XX · 2019-01-25T16:23:56+00:00

Finally some real shit on this board.

Anti-Satan · 2019-01-25T17:46:24+00:00

I feel like 7. should be that they get satisfied with the most meagre results. They get one girl that's not that bad, try to wifey her and feel there's no more reason to continue.

IAMTHESmoothOperator · 2019-01-25T18:47:44+00:00

Wait dude. Your other posts indicate you aren't successful so how are you coaching people? Did something just start clicking?

ErroneousEric · 2019-01-25T17:54:04+00:00

God, these tough love posts are all the same bullshit.

Dallas_Stars_Fan · 2019-01-25T17:34:37+00:00

I appreciate the post, but you come off as a dick. No, I'm not jealous of you and your coaching, im just telling you straight up how it comes across. I don't mind the style, but it won't work for everyone and yelling at people won't make them change. That being said, there is a lot of value to your post and I'll read every word. Appreciate it

blackleaf31 · 2019-01-25T17:20:23+00:00

Your shitty self esteem for something to be possible you must believe it can be done - I am sick of it. If you believe it is impossible any girl likes you then why are you here?

Hope I will find self-confidence one day, I suppose.

ImmediateDisaster6 · 2019-01-25T18:11:26+00:00

People pay for coaching or they read material because they've realised that most of their life so far has been a fuckup. So yeah it's hard to go against all your fears that your parents, peers and society have ingrained in you. And every moment of improvement is a struggle because most feedback is negative. People on the internet, feminist and soyboys tell you it's creepy. Girls actually are creeped out at first when you go in nervous, twitchy and uncalibrated. We avoid rejection and then when we finally face it - yep it's as bad or worse than we thought.

I do appreciate tough love. Please appreciate that there's a reason we need it. The people who can change enough on their own don't need to seek you out. You don't see the middle of the range cases because they just have to go out a bit more with the normal friends that they already have.

traceviral · 2019-01-25T18:29:41+00:00

Ok who here is born with high self confidence? A lot of people raise their self esteem through positive experiences. If you don't have positive experiences, you can't fix your self esteem.

I hate being told i need to do more than what i already do. My plate is pretty fucking full as is. Telling me to be the most charsmatic guy in the world on top. Is what makes me hate this shit. I got a -50 on charisma. Its not 100% of men fuck women if they just talk to girls. Its 20/80. 80% of men have to fail regardless of their effort.

Most seduction concepts don't even work to my benefit. Abundance doesn't make girls attracted to me. It makes me look desperate.

I can't understand what a girl is thinking ever. Does that make me mentally retarded? How am i suppose to understand when they want when they have minimal contact with me. Like fuck, when I try to hit up a girl, I always get vibes that she immediately judges me as a loser. She will make conversations hard, she won't ask anything about me. Its a hot mess.

Yet talking to girls makes me bitter because they have to do absolutely nothing and the bare minimum to make friends and have boyfriends which is to not eat yourself to landwhale status and make sure you don't look like a goblin in public.

And i get it, they live their life and i live mine. Why does my life need so much more work? Like you think any of these girls had to develop social skills the way we do? Fuck no. They let guys carry the conversation otherwise they are boring. They want you to have interests and hobbies so she dpesn't have a boring life of netflix and food.

Ive read books. We're just bad people I guess since a good person has good circumstances no matter the situation. Man I wish stuff like models would transform my life. Because I can't understand how anyone lives a life of every girl thinking you ain't shit is healthy.

heres_johnnie · 2019-01-25T17:00:08+00:00

Well said. This is why there’s so many different styles of game that can all be successful. If your mindset is right, and you’re willing to put in the effort, then half the battle is already won - regardless of what “technique” you use to game her.

throwawaydawggie · 2019-01-25T23:04:16+00:00

Why is this sub always about self promoting cunts?

Funkimonkey · 2019-01-26T05:53:07+00:00

Tbh man it sounds like you have solid game, but aren’t a good coach. I can’t help any guy that isn’t ready to do the work so part of that is you need to do better screening. But if I have a guy ready to work with me and willing to listen it’s not that hard. I do it all the time. I don’t coddle any of my students like you mention doing. But yelling at them like you do in this post doesn’t help them.

You are correct though that good advice gets downvoted all the time on this sub.

Ivabighairy1 · 2019-01-26T01:32:10+00:00

TL:DR Trying to build myself up by putting others down.

greenday5494 · 2019-01-25T18:13:10+00:00

you sound like a cartoon character

Locked89 · 2019-01-25T17:19:10+00:00

Sounds like everything is on point what you said.

ModernWolfStrategies · 2019-01-25T19:29:05+00:00

This is definitely accurate. You must be committed to the desired outcome to the point of believing you have no other choice. The mistake that people make is believing that any outcome but sex is a failure. The desired outcome should be incremental growth.

When Cortez first arrived on shore in South America he demonstrated this principle when he chose to burn his ships, destroying any means of retreat. It was sink or swim, succeed or die.

maxmike0101 · 2019-01-25T22:52:09+00:00

You're kind of coming off as a little bitch here dude. Tough love can be a good thing, but this just isnt it. I think you should do some soul searching buddy. Why are you so upset at people for not being what you want them to be. Some people are unmotivated, and theres nothing that will reach them. Some people are unmotivated, and there looking for something to click into place. This little bitch fest you just wrote out doesnt seem to be intended for anyone who you can help. So why bother. Also, if its soooooo hard for you to put up with those people you could just not. Ya know?.... not deal with the people that frustrate you.... cause damn buddy. You sound like some little bitch that wont change things for the better for himself. Hmmmmmm.... also I dont really care. Some people are happier when they're unhappy. So you do you.

WaitingForTheFire · 2019-01-25T23:18:29+00:00

I'm mostly in agreement with what you have said. I think that this is the crux of the issue:

Guy thinks "I would really like to date and/or fuck beautiful, fun sexy wome.
Guy has lacking social skills and therefore doesn't have much success with women. He doesn't even know how to even begin approaching women.
Guy thinks learning the pickup game is the answer to his quest.
Guy gets frustrated because the pickup game is an ADVANCED social skill which he is not even remotely ready to master. You have to crawl before you can walk.

I have to admit that this is me. I feel like I have decent self esteem. But making small talk is nearly impossible for me. I also find rejection very difficult to deal with, but I'm not sure why. I would definitely be paralyzed in the situations you speak of. I don't know how to fix this. I came to this subreddit hoping that maybe I might find some advice that would point me in the right direction. But I know that I'm not ready to try the pickup game.

dyslexicpotatoe · 2019-01-26T00:08:34+00:00

Good advertisement for your coaching. Call me cynical

AngledLuffa · 2019-01-26T01:01:20+00:00

I feel like every point you make is correct, and it all comes down to two things: be willing to try and be willing to fail / get hurt sometimes. For years I got "meeting women" wrong, and then (partly with help of this sub) I got past that and progressed to "successful relationship" wrong, and now I'm married to a woman I met at the grocery store. Wouldn't have gotten there if I hadn't tried both steps over and over until things started working.

PM_Me_OK · 2019-01-26T05:28:26+00:00

Dude you sound insecure. A secure person wouldnt have to make a post like this and cuss and say negative "shit" about everything and everyone.

MrDownhillRacer · 2019-01-26T08:07:18+00:00

Okay, but what if… what if I actually am keeping with approaching women every single day of my life, am always doing it alone because it's not like I'm paying some guy hundreds of dollars a night to coach me, am literally going to events alone without the security blanket of a friend or two because that's how it's gotta be most of the time and I won't use not having a friend as an excuse, am allowing myself to face rejection after rejection, and I'm STILL not getting results?

Am I allowed to be salty and pity myself then? Dear god, all I want now is the permissions to pity myself. I can't seem to get the girls. Can I at least have my own pity?

LaxBrother · 2019-01-25T18:22:26+00:00

People who have to brag about how well they do sound like they are projecting, lying, and insecure about their skills. Sounds like you don't have any friends who have as much passion to gaming as much as you, so you are butthurt

spartan1337 · 2019-01-25T18:52:31+00:00

You literally said nothing useful and youre all over the place with what youre trying to convey.

Errantsquire · 2019-01-25T16:53:25+00:00

#4 Slayed me lol

I just started in December and this stuff has just started spilling out of me. I've started talking to other guys about it and you're right there are a lot of people that simply aren't ready for it. I don't have the credentials you have but I really think eventually I'll be teaching this stuff.

Sorry your last pupil was unreceptive but you know it's one of those things where as your status starts improving you can just raise your prices. Eventually people should be committed enough to say, "well I spent X dollars so I need to actually do the work." It's like downloading a "free" mobile game just to delete it in 2 weeks I don't have quite the investment that I have in a game I spend $60 on.

I'm currently working through The Hot Seat at Home, and it's difficult for me to go out and game given my life circumstances but I still make things happen that I can make happen.

SyrusDrake · 2019-01-26T02:16:19+00:00

Hey, I'm a maths teacher but I only teach people who have a PhD in mathematics because people who don't understand maths disgust me.

K3wp · 2019-01-25T18:19:26+00:00

This is why outcome independence is so crucial. Just keep moving.

_do_not_read_this_ · 2019-01-25T18:28:32+00:00

/rant

IAMTHESmoothOperator · 2019-01-25T18:43:39+00:00

Do you still have tour original post up?

TheJoeyJoeJoe · 2019-01-25T18:52:58+00:00

u/Ciaran_Callam sounds about right...

skinisblackmetallic · 2019-01-25T19:30:15+00:00

Did the post you deleted have any solutions to 1 through 7?

Hand_Sanitizer3000 · 2019-01-25T20:44:17+00:00

I used to do this in college with some of my less "savy" buddies and everything you said is 100%true.

minimalistforlifeee · 2019-01-25T21:13:07+00:00

Why drunk post ? lol

RedIntrovert · 2019-01-25T22:20:34+00:00

Good stuff OP. What do you charge for the Skype calls?

x420praiseitx · 2019-01-25T23:37:23+00:00

I like it. Since you’re being blunt the only thing I would add is looks DO matter. That’s the biggest lie I see on here. They aren’t everything, but a girl needs to be attracted to you to fuck you (for the most part). Working on your looks is huge for confidence.

The second you approach or show up on that first date the first thing a woman does is assess how attractive you are physically.

You don’t need to be born good looking, but do the best you can.

Work out, have a nice body. Increases confidence, women notice, plus there’s countless benefits to exercise. When I was skinny women would never touch me first. Now they make excuses to grab my biceps, touch my shoulders, etc.
Learn how to dress. Go on r/malefashionadvice. Clothes that look nice and fit well make a huge difference. Don’t wear your baggy cargo shorts and a graphic tee to a date. I have a tough time picking out clothes so I use a service like Stitchfix.
If you have hair spend money on a good haircut. Look up what trends are going on, ask the barber the best fit for your face, etc..
Take care of your teeth. For me personally fucked up teeth are a huge turn off.

There’s no better feeling than having some muscle and wearing nice clothes that fit perfectly (for me). Showing off that physique you worked so hard for feels great. Add a fresh hair cut to that and I’m feeling confident as fuck.

LUClEN · 2019-01-26T00:25:01+00:00

Neil Strauss followed up The Game with Rules to the Game. In the book, he essentially gives guys a walk through on how to build up to the point you're talking about without all your hostile language.

His instructions start small. "Talk to 5 people" is one of the first ones. You do the field mission and write some stuff, answer some personal reflection questions. It gets incrementally more difficult, more intimate, more personal, etc. Your post comes across like you want dudes to just go out there. It makes more sense to build up to that point with smaller challenges.

BTW, I suggest the book to anyone interested. It's cheap to buy used and it has helped me a lot.

SofterGaze · 2019-01-26T00:55:04+00:00

I am GOD AWFUL at picking up chicks in general, although it's not so important.

WHAT IIIIS IMPORTANT is that what you just listed seems to plague everyone in EVERY ASPECT of learning something new and important; a mantra of "I cant do it"

My mission in life is to teach how to overcome it. Not in seduction but just as a child or young adult.

Thanks for.being real, fellow educator.

suckymeh · 2019-01-26T01:34:38+00:00

It's similar to people who want to get fit but struggle for YEARS with no results. They refuse to adopt a structured workout plan, keep eating shitty food, drink alcohol in excess. Then they complain about bad genetics, or they "have a thyroid problem".

lbkguy7 · 2019-01-26T01:49:40+00:00

Will read entire discussion tonight

pbgswd · 2019-01-26T02:38:58+00:00

I like this. Upvoted.

EmberPUBG · 2019-01-26T03:50:15+00:00

I'm nothing more than a student but I have been focused on change and breaking my anxiety. I have a feeling of if I don't approach it is worse than rejection its like you are not even giving your self the chance. last night was my first attempt at this and it went well. I teased her played around with her and did a lot of small techniques. I didn't have anyone with me I did it by my self so I am proud of my self.

SDW137 · 2019-01-26T05:26:49+00:00

💯💯💯

Aeon199 · 2019-01-26T05:39:09+00:00

But how do you prove this wrong, man? Please read this. From another poster here:

How can women be searching SO hard yet dismiss everyone so easily? They're not searching, they know exactly where there love is. It's with the guy every girl is trying to get. Full stop they won't settle for less or an average guy. Even if they deserve an average guy because that's the effort that put into appearance, personality, etc. Even if i didn't think that way. Will my life change at all? Will girls suddenly be open to meeting me. I can bet you they won't.

MajesticallyPathetic · 2019-01-26T08:23:17+00:00

The only thing I would have to disagree with is how every guy has the same chances or odds. Being "nearly 6ft and white" would definitely open more opportunities for you than if you were say 5'4" and black. I understand it's fucked up and cruel, but unfortunatley it's another harsh truth. However, this only means that you'd have to try harder than others, also meaning that you would eventually have more experience than others too.

KaanOS7 · 2019-01-26T08:30:22+00:00

Totally agree with post! I'm new to reddit in general, but not to the seduction community. Long story short, used to believe seduction could work, started to build a nice social circle with attractive girls, then spiraled out of control as things did not work out the way I wanted. Then I became disillusioned with the idea that seduction is possible and stopped learning. Now I want to correct that mistake.

Do you coach? Would be nice to get your coaching experience or at least some free advice! I PM'd you about coaching!

btw- I'm below average looking guy. To anyone else, it is possible! It just takes less good looking guys a lot more time to get results than genetically gifted men(looks wise) in my opinion. Looks do matter. In my opinion, looks are 80% of the equation. The rest is 20%

adbar89 · 2019-01-26T13:16:55+00:00

Dude hit me up! I wanna learnnn

schnoopyyy · 2019-01-26T15:13:15+00:00

We get it. Youve had sex.

snailcases · 2019-01-26T15:26:52+00:00

I'm not scared just need to be polished and lead in the right direction. Never scared to approach. Just not good at it

phoenixexploziv · 2019-01-26T19:35:02+00:00

I'm down! rejection is tough, but damn no better way to learn, its almost a gratifying to know your past that last failure, now onto the next!

ls737100 · 2019-02-16T20:03:15+00:00

Dude, you sound like a really shitty coach and person in general. If this is your idea of marketing, you suck at it. If it's also your approach to coaching you also suck at it.

VulcanXIV · 2019-03-15T23:27:48+00:00

So I really connect with what your saying. What really interests me though is not me wanting to not be like the poor guys who are starting from 0 and can't even say hi to a girl, what interests me is the real beef in your science.

You've seemingly gone through what guys who did their work go through, a sort of enlightening that pretty much just clicks every single interaction into place (body language, conversation, confidence ) that kind of acts as a crowbar for women's shut legs. I want to jump into THAT part of the science. I dont want to get coached into growing the balls to approach women, I want to learn what it takes for them to stick to me when I DO approach them. It's funny because you seem to have a lot of frustration with the first part where you try to get guys to start, and it's funny that they'll still fail because they dont realize that its 50% just do it and then 50% you need to know kung fu

A good analogy is saying you need to have the balls to start a fight, but the skills to win it also.

Anyway, I'm just another millennial who has some terrible flirting skills. Ive come such a long way from being unsocial and unapproachable but i never feel like taking the jump.

Hold up though. I admit that that basically makes me the same, but what im saying is that i want to hear you talk amd talk and talk in detail about what you do, how you do it, why you do it and all thebtiny things you have to keep in check during the interaction so that it doesnt devolve into creep status.

After all, imo it's a mistake to coach a guy to gain these traits, if they dont have the confidence to incorporate it. I dont think you should coach guys to do it. I thinl you should inform them what happens with you and let them jump off the cliff on their own.

IWannaImprove · 2019-01-25T16:58:37+00:00

Mmmh I'm kinda interested because the "I'm gonna work my ass off until I get result" is my style too, but Skype a must use? Meh. Is this your only option?
Check my last post (and only one actually) to understand my current situation and tell me if you could teach me something (if half of what you're saying is true probably you can tho).

baconpls29 · 2019-01-25T21:28:32+00:00

Best advice I’ve read on here. Saved it because I’ll probably have to periodically reread it.

kakimor4 · 2019-01-26T00:16:59+00:00

Speak it to existence is the best advice, you gotta believe it yourself

olronk · 2019-01-26T09:56:57+00:00

Hey man, I've seen you post here and comment every once in a while and I definitely do enjoy your advice and just general outlook.

In fact I have a few of your better quotes and advice saved to my notes to reference.

I really think coaching and the concept is really awesome and I'm sure the guys you do help out are grateful for it.

I personally live to read about it and your adventures/obstacles like you posted here because I never really had the opportunity to do any of that stuff but I do love reading about it and kind of knowing what it all entails through success stories.

I'm not a very good looking guy myself so obviously I was never able any of that with women or dating, etc cause I never had a woman think I was decent looking enough to consider. but now that I'm older i do like looking back on what the concept was and what I was supposed to be doing back when i was young.

At first I was sad about it but guys like you helping others and providing harsh advice really makes me feel good knowing other guys can benefit who can apply your knowledge.

I know you said you're in the process of writing a book so please keep us updated. Obviously seduction advice doesn't really apply to me but I would honestly still live to read/purchase your book when available.

lestralen · 2019-02-08T19:10:33+00:00

Cheers for the post bro, i haven't been into pickup in years but came by and stumbled across this.

Everything you said is spot on, main thing i take from this is people need to stop lieing to themselves, they need to stop making excuses.

You get out what you put in.

Reading some of the comments people are bitching about how harsh you're coming across but fuck that shit. Harsh words are needed as they are pointed and precise, no ego stroking.

It gives the much needed kick up the ass some people need so they can wake up and take an actual fucking look at themselves and make a conscious effort to change (myself included).

The shit you laid out here doesn't only relate to pickup also relates back to life in general. People give up too easy, only half ass the effort then give up wondering why they failed.

Keep this post up man ill be coming back to read it whenever i decide to bitch out and make excuses for myself.

His-Dirty-Girl · 2019-01-25T20:15:59+00:00

As a woman I love this sub and posts like this. Y’all are fucking adorable.

blx666 · 2019-01-25T19:48:44+00:00

Fucking preach

NaturalPrefN3 · 2019-01-25T17:34:52+00:00

https://join.skype.com/invite/ePG9k7nPXY4Q don't be a bitch do it

Tom IntPB add me

edit: downvote all you want if you're reading this you've been gamed. Wanna learn or are you still stuck on step 2.

Title	Dear seddit I've been drinking and have done 1000's of approaches and coach in my down time... here are some harsh truths for you all
Author	NaturalPrefN3
Upvotes	593
Comments	172
Date	January 25, 2019 4:08 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ajqi7r/dear_seddit_ive_been_drinking_and_have_done_1000s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dear-seddit-ive-been-drinking-and-have-done-1000s.1428453 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428453

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