“Psych Hacks” method for securing a high value man or commitment - lure him in with s*x, add value later.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-05-29T15:35:16+00:00

I think it’s a way overly simplified way to look at things.

There are lots of dudes that would be more than happy to “wife up” their dream girl.

There are lots of women who might decide to try a casual fling (even if it’s just one time)

The idea that all people are all “playing the same game with the same sets of rules” is dumb.

It gets YouTube viewers tho.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-05-29T15:38:14+00:00

The way to be seen as more than a hookup is not to seek people who are having loads of hookups and don't want commitment and be a perfect hookup. Unsurprisingly, they will just see you as a hookup. You need to find someone who wants the same thing to have a good chance of getting it.

superlurkage · 2024-05-29T15:44:29+00:00

Cow, milk

Ultramega39 · 2024-05-29T17:16:52+00:00

I don't like that advice because if a woman I barely knew started acting all sexy and stuff around me, that would a red flag.

To me that kind of behavior just signals 'you should date me just because I'm hot and I want to fuck you' that's not exactly going to peak my interest as much as someone whose well mannered and intelligent.

bloblikeseacreature · 2024-05-29T15:51:04+00:00

bad strategy.

that's a man advising women to give men everything right off the bat, even go further than that and give more than you're actually sustainably able to do, and hope he will eventually want to voluntarily start giving her something in return.

you're just never going to get what you want that way, unless what you want is to serve a man who doesn't respect you and get none of your needs met. it might make sense if you're going for a guy who is so rich that it pays off that way, but then trophy wife is going to be your career. that's very high risk.

i would mainly recommend this for women who aren't looking for an ever after, but one swinging branch in a series of relationships they can leverage for opportunities and value outside of the relationship.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-05-29T17:49:52+00:00

Sounds like a good way to get someone who only likes you for what you do for them, and will probably continue to hook up with other women on the side while enjoying the services offered. Same way a guy can get a gold digger for a wife if he just spends enough money on her, but does he want a woman like that?

A woman who wants commitment needs to look for a man who wants commitment. A normal guy who actually likes her and has similar values and goals can provide more relationship value than even a mega successful guy who likes to sleep around and sees her as basically a secretary he fucks and eventually decides to lock down because she’s so convenient.

This is why women need to be wary of dating advice from men. This guy is just saying what he wishes women would do for his own benefit, not what is actually going to benefit women in the long run.

Dishonouronmycow2 · 2024-05-29T16:10:56+00:00

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sublimemongrel · 2024-05-29T16:27:17+00:00

Strategies like this are too simple and also fail to factor in the woman’s “value” so to speak. A women with many of her own options who is in demand and wanted by so called “high value” men isn’t going to want to do this or need to do this at all to get what she wants.

bifewova234 · 2024-05-29T16:40:48+00:00

If you trick somebody to get with you and they find out that you tricked them then youre gonna get dumped and youre gonna deserve it. Just wasting everyones time doing that.

MistyMaisel · 2024-05-29T16:15:41+00:00

I watched that video. I've watched a decent amount of his channel. I think he's insane. And this is one of his more insane thought processes. Could it be effective...sure, for the man. Not for the woman getting what she wants. Women don't want commitment from a man who is fucking all kinds of other broads and certainly not at the cost of having to be their most slutty self (which most of us are not interested in being outside of a very strongly committed relationship).

Basically, it sounded to me like a man pretending to think through things from the woman's perspective, but really, he's just telling women how men wish they'd behave for the full benefit of the man. As if we didn't know men would love slutty slutty sex and then when they're bored of that the opportunity to settle down with a girl who is the smallest headache for him...It's called alpha fucks, beta bucks, right?

Also, what Lift and Lurk said.

If you want commitment from a man, you find men who want commitment and you dismiss the rest with great fury. Give out as little sex (or none, I prefer none) until you have received a genuine and heartfelt commitment you see as viable in the long-term. Have discipline. Position before submission. If the men coming along who fit that criteria aren't attractive options, have patience. The men you want will come along eventually while you maintain the dignity and freedom of not being one of the many.

berichorbeburied · 2024-05-29T15:57:48+00:00

This makes sense in a way.

But the obvious inherent risk for her in this hypothetical scenario is that it doesn’t work.

And then she gave sex for “nothing”

Or

She gave sex with no relationship being formed in the process

Then what follows is

If she keeps following that strategy

The more failures she has. The more sex she would have to give to potential suitors.

Objectively it does not seem like a good option for someone whose only goal is a relationship.

And this is just me being objective.

Yes it could work.

But it’s not fool/full proof.

So it has inherent risks

wtknight · 2024-05-29T17:16:10+00:00

This isn’t good advice. A woman can have sex with a lot of high value men this way who may never reciprocate her affection long-term. She will end up with a high body count this way, which may make her less attractive to men who care about this kind of thing.

But if she doesn’t want a man who judges on body account, then it’s good advice.

Most men do care about body count, though, even if they virtue signal and won’t admit it. Most men don’t want to date former porn stars, for instance.

Steakman1 · 2024-05-30T00:34:01+00:00

If the man is able to get sex easily from other women, then how would a woman sleeping with him in the hopes of commitment make her stand out from any of the other women he sleeps with?

Old_Luck285 · 2024-05-29T16:59:53+00:00

As a woman who's indeed low libido and wants only little sex: how is this recipe gonna serve me? I'll attract a high libido guy and then we're both stuck in a mismatched, miserable relationship.

Since one can (relatively) easily divorce today there's no winning by pretending. As a woman, you're either stuck with lots of unwanted sex or he's gonna divorce you.

Sounds better to play with open cards and look for a partner who wants the same/similar things in life.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-05-29T15:40:58+00:00

It's simplification but it isn't "a hack". Being nice, supportive, pleasant and adding value to somebody's live is a good idea by itself. She just have to be sure that it's appriciated and not taken for granted.

Zabadoodude · 2024-05-29T17:12:53+00:00

Sure, If a woman is atttactive enough to get a desirable man's attention and also is fun, positive, cheerful, supportive, is down for whatever in the bedroom, and doesn't ask for anything in return, most men would love that. Problem is that most women don't want that dynamic. And if she hasn't asked anything from him, she doesn't know if he's willing to treat her well too. Also, if she's not naturally like that, she will eventually revert to her normal self and get dumped because she changed.

I agree with the part that most desirable men aren't going to go on 10+ dates with no sex. He doesn't know her yet, so he doesn't have any reason to wait for her if other women like her are going to give him a more fun time. It's valid to make men wait for sex if that's what you want, but women need to be realistic about the fact that they will miss out on many good options. Not just fuck boys.

illusoryfindings · 2024-05-29T18:52:04+00:00

It's not a great strategy for women, to be honest. It'll only encourage those dudes who have options to keep her around as a fwb. I'm that dude, and this is how I end up seeing those women, it's not even conscious behavior, its just the nature of having options.

If she's keen to sleep with me early, I assume she's like that with every guy she's into, which is a red flag for me. There's nothing wrong with being slutty btw, it's not some reprehensible moral failing like PPD guys whine about, but it spooks me away from letting a real relationship grow, for a multitude of separate reasons. I'll enjoy her company and appreciate her as a person, but it never evolves into something emotionally deeper.

If she's not keen to sleep with me early, I then have to figure out why. Does she equate sex with intimacy, and she's holding back, despite feeling attracted, in order to start the relationship with a solid foundation? Or does she feel 'meh' about me, and is seeing me just for something to do? Does she typically sleep with dudes early, but is holding out on me because I'm relationship material to her? The reasons why are important, and you can't gauge them through direct questioning because you'll rarely get answers. You have to come across warm and non-judgemental so she volunteers info herself, observe the way she behaves around her friends, listen to their stories about her, see how she reacts to other men flirting with her, etc. It takes time and multiple environments.

The stuff about embedding herself into his life absolutely works though, and I think when a woman figures out how to do that in small ways early on, before sleeping together, she'll get a man hooked. Being supportive and helpful, basically treating you like an asset she's investing in, has always been stand out behavior in my eyes. And it makes me miss her when she's gone because life runs so much smoother when she's around. It gives her more 'leverage' than just sex when there's a dip in my quality of life when she's not doing all that stuff.

I'm more likely to treat her like a serious prospect, and be a bit patient when waiting for sex, even when I don't want to be, because she's figured out how to make my life better in a holistic way - which is far more valuable than an eager reply to my 2am "u up?" texts.

Fun_Push7168 · 2024-05-29T19:47:19+00:00

Women just do this naturally by instinct. Except they'll leave a little out....there has to be the promise of more later, whether or not it ever comes to fruition.

just_a_place · 2024-05-29T20:20:40+00:00

Women use sex as a means to an end.

For men, sex is the end.

ArmariumEspata · 2024-05-29T17:01:47+00:00

I regret logging into Reddit today because otherwise I wouldn’t have come across this post.

The Psych Hacks guy is an idiot. What kind of moron thinks that women innately avoid sex as much as possible, and only do it out of the desire for a relationship? Who takes this clown seriously?

A lot of men don’t want relationships with women they deem to be “sluts” so idk how his theory works

DarayRaven · 2024-05-29T15:45:58+00:00

No matter how great/logical this advice is and it is

Women don't care, l said this not to long ago that women can afford to not understand men so your really just wasting your time

Whenever a man tries to give female advice, women just take it as "how dare he!!!" insult

OkProfessional9405 · 2024-05-29T16:02:05+00:00

He's right that most women lack relationship game. They confuse the courtship phase of dating for a relationship, so they just bounce from courtship to courtship every few months thinking that the courtship experience is a dating experience. Then they wonder why the guy loses interest.

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Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-05-29T17:02:21+00:00

eh. no probably a better strategy would be first recon. gather information, learn their behaviors, motivations, functionality, how their brain receives input and how it is structured, how it is output, determine their cognitive boundaries, and vulnerabilities, create a mental model, run some tests and observe the responses, and then modify the mental model.

Fragrant_Might3467 · 2024-05-29T17:03:20+00:00

I see this as more an advanced situational love bombing, the single woman will adjust the strategy as she needs to. If a girl meets a hot guy or guy she really wants to be with, most girl’s “move” is to be his total sex doll. I’m more of a total package guy and been on hundreds of dates and stuff like this happens often.

Girls will lay it on you and just start asking what you like or doing exactly what you want. This ends up being any sexual act or fantasy you want. If you’re on a date on Friday she will have sex with you all weekend, spend hours giving blowjobs, having sex until you’re worn out. The girl is trying to induce oxytocin in association with her.

The downside to this is no girl can sustain this, you agree to be exclusive you got a couple more weeks of this constant I’m your sexual fantasy. Then reality will set in and you’ll see how she really is once she gets commitment.

John_Oakman · 2024-05-29T17:18:52+00:00

Not really, as the foundation of LTRs (discounting love, since many here does not believe in it) is based upon social legitimacy, which displays of sexuality might actuality detract from that. If anything, doing the exact opposite (lack of sexual activity of any kind) would entice the more reliable provider males.

(of course the resulting LTR would still be a living hell for most women, hence why increasing numbers of women are picking staying single regardless)

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-05-29T17:32:40+00:00

I can see the logic. But if a guy is both high-value AND taking advantage of all his opportunities, she might want to play it differently by holding back. Chances are he will actually want to slow down at some point.

If he’s high-value and equally choosy then freaky is probably the way.

EulenWatcher · 2024-05-29T18:14:52+00:00

I don't think it makes sense to stick to a man who sees you just as one of many options he's having sex with in hopes that he'll see you as something more one day. It might work for gold diggers who see dating as their job and who are able to do this trick to multiple men in order to find the one willing to provide for them without catching feelings. It isn't viable for most women though.

Also I don't think that a lot of women even aim to date a guy who makes "big money" and has a lot of options for casual sex all the time. Most people date close to their socioeconomic level, so most women seek guys in their own social circle.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-05-29T19:37:21+00:00

This strategy isn’t a long-term strategy. Fun girl gets a heavy dose of reality the second she’s pregnant or sick and can’t deny she has needs anymore.

2024-05-29T20:17:10+00:00

Im someone who fucks on the first date and puts a huge emphasis on finding sexual chemistry early on However, I think this is a terrible idea.

Some women don't feel comfortable having sex too early on. They need to know the person first and build some trust.
Women run the risk of being pumped and dumped. Some men feel insecure having girlfrienda that are hyper sexual, even if she makes it clear she only is with him.

apresonly · 2024-05-29T21:26:10+00:00

His recipe for a woman to play “commitment game“ on a man who has many options is to be her most slutty sexual self with him and then leave him alone.

haha what a great grift

offering commitment as a carrot on a stick for women to take risks that are unwise

He talks about this game in the same way that men play the sex game where they say that they are “looking for commitment” or they be behave a way that shows they’re emotionally available but really all they are doing is trying to secure sex with as little resources as possible.

well its not equivalent because the men doing this are taking away women's ability to consent to the sex and the women doing the other version aren't doing anything that would affect a man's ability to consent to sex.

daddysgotanew · 2024-05-29T21:49:08+00:00

Women don’t have to “make” themselves have sex with high value men. They want to so they do.

The issue is women who get with men they are lukewarm about, and the men can tell because she starts denying sex, acting bratty, shit testing him constantly etc.

Women don’t have a problem offering everything they have to Chad. It’s just that she’s one in a sea of a million at Chads disposal, so he kinda just treats her like a used napkin.

AMDisappointment · 2024-05-29T22:04:35+00:00

As a man, this seems legit.

I won't keep seeing you if we haven't been intimate within 3 dates. However if we keep being intimate, chances are that I'll be attached to you and you have a chance to hook me in with value.

This advice is more for women that are already sexually active snd it's just a counter to the usual strategy of delaying sex as much as possible.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-05-29T22:24:45+00:00

His recipe for a woman to play “commitment game“ on a man who has many options is to be her most slutty sexual self with him and then leave him alone. It creates a good times to hassles ratio that is so favorable that he will absolutely call her back.

Why would he call her back if he has many options and they will also engage in this slut tournament?

Woman doing this won't win just by being a whore, she has to be the best whore among rest of his whores.

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-05-30T02:56:27+00:00

How about build a relationship with an actual human being, not play games?

I’m going to be happy for 50myears with some schmuck I tricked into marrying me by putting him on some pedestal and molding my life around his? Why not build a life together instead?

He sounds more like a mark, not a husband

funfacts_82 · 2024-05-30T14:07:44+00:00

Bro you you either didn't exactly understand what Dr Taraban wanted to get across or you're too autistic about the details.

That is not at all what the bottom line of his description is.

DarkSector0011 · 2024-06-01T13:47:11+00:00

Brutal.

Lead with money if you want to secure her attention bro!!!

Same bullshiting but flipped. If he wants you he will be patiently vetting and understanding what makes you tick.

If you're giving it up easy and have been he will take note.

Sex isn't necessary to make company very enjoyable and hell of you're very attracted to sex related things to create tension and test eachothers discipline and resilience.

Sleeping with dudes to secure them is LOL.

Tobor_Xes240 · 2024-05-29T16:25:11+00:00

This is how ex-carouselers lock down a Good Man. As for the women still riding in search of a Top Man, may the odds be ever in your favor.

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2024-05-29T16:56:57+00:00

sexy slutty but only slutty for him.

This is where you fail. It works better if you make it extremely clear that he's just one guy in your rotation. NEVER give exclusivity without commitment. Make it clear that you have options too, and that he is at risk of being dropped if you meet someone special or things get more serious with one of the other men you're seeing. If he wants you, he has to act. Make him take all the steps towards a non-casual relationship.

2024-05-29T15:49:14+00:00

Taken to the extreme, yes.

But life isn't binary.

You just gotta do the best with what you got.

YveisGrey · 2024-05-29T18:40:25+00:00

Women don’t care about commitment they care about resources if they can get resources from men without committing to them they do so. Men care about commitment because they want to have ownership over women’s sexuality so they can ensure paternity.

The idea that women want commitment and men want NSA sex is one of those pervasive myths. Men want promiscuity for themselves and chastity for women so it’s not as simple as “not wanting commitment”. When you really think about it it’s men who put in massive effort to secure commitment from women, while women try to secure resources from men. Yep men are the one’s desperate for a woman’s commitment

Colt_Master · 2024-05-29T19:40:45+00:00

I think this tactic requires also a certain degree of push-pulling to work. If you give girlfriend benefits to a man without him having to give anything back in exchange, then he'll keep giving nothing back. He'll keep having you as his fuck-zoned pseudogirlfriend/situationship. Extra likely if we're talking about theoretical top men with options.

However, if you give a demo of the benefits, and then scale them back as the demo period ends and thus force him chase you in order to keep getting them, that can work.

Title	“Psych Hacks” method for securing a high value man or commitment - lure him in with s*x, add value later.
Author	saywhatitis11
Upvotes	2
Comments	149
Date	May 29, 2024 3:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1d3f0fz/psych_hacks_method_for_securing_a_high_value_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/psych-hacks-method-for-securing-a-high-value-man.1519940 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519940

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