I don't know if this is the right place for this, but I need to get this off my chest.

I have a cousin who I am very close with. We both share a lot of our personal traumas from childhood; very dark stuff. We are both on a path of self healing and growth, and for 10 years we have supported each other and validated each other's pain, struggles, etc.

My cousin is AFAB. When the man vs. bear narrative came out, we immediately were at odds with each other over it. Now it has come to a fierce argument.

That fucking narrative is toxic and poisonous. It has raided a sacred relationship in my life and poisoned the well. I have tried to help them to see that the narrative itself is divisive and causing us to argue, but they just say that I am not validating their feelings, while they say things that I find upsetting.

I also dated a feminist, and this feels way, way too familiar to me.

This narrative is taking roots in my social circles and communities too. A "men's group" I was interested in joining picked it up and began spouting the "we men must take responsibility for it all" line.

Now I feel even more cautious about who I open up to.