The preference of some men for very older women or very fat women is because these men have romanticized what they perceive as sexually available

flipsidetroll · 2024-08-04T09:47:08+00:00

When did “being attracted to” become “fetishised” or “romanticised?” Sorry, I think this is just gen z bullshit semantics.

Sillysheila · 2024-08-04T10:23:13+00:00

Fat women can still get pregnant. I don’t understand why you think they can’t? They get pregnant all the time.

As for much older women, well why do much older men have sex? You could say the same thing for infertile couples or gay couples, even. What’s the point of sex for them?

Well, even if no kids are made by sex, we’re all biologically programmed to enjoy it. When you try to have a baby even if you are young and pretty fertile it can take up to a year, some people it takes two years. Ovulation is hidden, and isn’t obvious. So, we evolved as humans for sex to be rewarding and pleasurable.

Common-Ferret-1435 · 2024-08-04T08:00:36+00:00

That would explain my fetish for tentacle porn.

It was only being able to date octopuses in high school.

Demasii · 2024-08-04T07:00:17+00:00

Being attracted to very older women or very fat chicks is not optimal for child creation.

Biology doesn't care about optimal. It cares about it being good enough to pass genes on. That's the bar.

This article explains a study done on fat admirers (FA).

The FAs were most attracted to the photo of a woman with a body mass index of 29.24. BMIs are computed by dividing weight in kilograms by height in meters squared; according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a body mass index of 25 to 29.9 qualifies a person as overweight, while those who are obese have a BMI of 30 or higher. For example, a 5’6” woman at 155 pounds is overweight, and is obese at 190 pounds.

Furthermore, the study found that FAs considered a wider range of figures to be appealing, including those of two emaciated women (with BMIs lower than 15).

MikeArrow · 2024-08-04T07:00:45+00:00

What's the difference between a fetish and just... a preference?

I'm attracted to all sorts of different ages and body types. I can't say I have a singular 'type' at all. The girls I've dated all have certain shared characteristics, but they chose me, I didn't choose them.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-08-04T08:08:22+00:00

make no sense from an evolutionary perspective.

Neither does homosexuality. Or autism. Or fundamentalist, isolationist religious adherence.

Fortunately humans understand that variation is natural and the human species doesn’t cease to exist because of variation, and that tolerance and acceptance of variation in fact increases the odds that the human race survives and thrives because of social cooperation and variance.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-08-04T08:07:37+00:00

Tell me you are insecure without telling me you are insecure. Or wait, tell me your fat friends got chose and you didn’t.

Why does anyone care who anyone else likes. I know a lot of fat and older women who pull handsome and attractive men all day every day. When I was at my heaviest, I always had hot men hitting on me. I had men dating me out loud and in public when I was heavier. Now that I lost weight, the face card still doesn’t decline. Fat doesn’t mean ugly.

If you can’t get them because you aren’t attractive don’t be mad that women who don’t fit conventional standards of beauty can get them.

You are the type of woman who asks why her and not me. It’s because you have a shitty attitude, are not a good person and are judgmental. No one wants to date someone or be with someone like that.

Being a pick me won’t fix your shitty attitude about other humans. The fat girl who is kind will always have more options than you. The old woman who you think is used up will still have more options than you.

Good on you trying to figure out why your fat friends has more men approaching her in the bar though.

She’s fat. Not older, not uglier, not stupider.

She can lose weight and you will still be lonely.

User20242024 · 2024-08-04T10:52:28+00:00

theory that these men romanticize what they think is sexually available.

Yes, that might be correct. When I was younger, I liked older women because I thought that they are more available. Now, when I am older myself, I see that older women are not so available as I thought. So, I am now mostly attracted to alien porn created by AI. LOL

NockerJoe · 2024-08-04T07:24:29+00:00

Yeah because if you want to understand male sexuality the best source of information is a womans lecture.

I do pinup art and take occasional commissions. I like to vary up my body types and there's never really been one type men or queer women overwhelmingly gravitate to. Even if its a fake woman and theres no possible sex to be had people who want to have sex with women are pretty evenly distributed between thin builds and heavier women or more muscular women. I know artists who specialize in all of the above that are still pretty popular with male viewers.

The only people I know of actively complaining about this type of thing are usually women primarily attracted to men. These types of people often find it extremely distressing when men like women that don't look like fashion models or the hottest top 40 pop star because they've convinced themselves thats the only thing that counts and if men like them for any other reason it somehow doesn't count.

McPigg · 2024-08-04T09:28:31+00:00

Very simplistic view, thats not what science says

castironskilletset · 2024-08-04T07:48:44+00:00

Some men prefer old women or fat women because sexuality is complicated and heavily dependent on emotions.

There is a reason Napoleon Bonaparte, married Josephine. She was an old single mother with no teeth(seriously) but he fell in love with her because she was a very talented seductress. She was replaced with younger woman who was a royalty because she couldnt bore his children but he was still very fond of her. Do you know why?

Because his father was a weak man, and his mother wore the pants in the relationship, he despised his father for Bowing down to french(funny how he fell in love with france afterwards) and revered his mother. His mother used to demonize his father did not respect him which lead to Napoleon not forming healthy view of romantic relationship. So his sexuality and romantic life was heavily influened by his mommy issues and he fell prey to a predatory woman who cheated on him but he took her back.

Devoid of anything, sexuality for men is about youth and physical features, but sexuality is not devoid of anything. Because we as a species survived because we are social creatures and men take big role in upbringing of their offsprings. So emotional connection with mother is very important and emotional connection is affected by lot of issues.

Inevitable-Ear-3189 · 2024-08-04T12:28:37+00:00

Are people REALLY thinking "from an evolutionary perspective, my/my partner's body is/is not ideal for child creation..." ? Because that seems really weird.

thedarkracer · 2024-08-04T06:57:19+00:00

I have a friend who didn't like petite women or skinny as they had small boobs and butts, he wanted over weight as they would have big ones. He hadn't been with any fat women.

One other friend in Canada told me (Indian) that the best woman he had been with (he had sex with a lot 6 feet tall and 7 inch dick and also muscular so 666 sorta) was an elder one who taught him how to take care of himself and groom himself and all. He didn't have a special fetish.

When I was 19 I started dating a man who was in his late 30s.

This sounds a bit concerning but ok. What I think your ex did was he wanted older women but couldn't get them for long but it's just a theory. Some guys just say they have exes but lie and exaggerate. You sure those were his exes?

MyUpSeemsDown · 2024-08-04T09:00:25+00:00

I mean yea, I think based on who it is sometimes it is realistic to think that for them that is the best they can get. Seems pretty straight forward tbh.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-08-04T10:23:12+00:00

I agree with you. And i think it's relatively easy to change these desires assuming its towards more attractive situations. Ie from fat to normal but not from normal to fat.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-08-04T12:39:15+00:00

Sometimes you don’t even know why who/what got your dick so hard. But you know it did.

Cicero_Johnson · 2024-08-04T13:00:13+00:00

Never make the mistake of trying to look at human sexuality from an "evolutionary standpoint". Doing so will produce a slew of false negatives.

E.g:
Oral sex. Assumption: Evolutionary dead end. Reality: Promotes pair bonding leading to survivability.
Masturbation: Assumption: Evolutionary dead end. Reality: Reduces stress levels and allows the human sex drive to operate on overdrive without breaking the organism.
Gay Sex: Assumption: Evolutionary dead end. Reality: Promotes pair bonding leading to survivability. Also has been scientifically shown to produce males that have higher numbers of offspring. (Please God, let someone challenge me on this one!)
Balloon Fetish: Assumption: Evolutionary dead end. Reality: Micro-niche specialty that is no more counter-productive than watching NASCAR.

As for the rest of your theory, it can be summarized as, "People who have a positive sexual experience with X will tend to want to repeat the experience." Frankly, I just don't see it as being that revolutionary a theory.

luroot · 2024-08-04T13:02:38+00:00

I think there is something to this, like a feedback loop where you could amplify or acquire tastes based on repeated, available exposure?

Far-Technician507 · 2024-08-04T14:04:24+00:00

Op, generally speaking men will always prefer younger women

throwaway199619961 · 2024-08-04T14:37:25+00:00

I get this kind of. I’m only attracted to women I view as “attainable”, because Ik I will not end up with a seriously conventionally attractive 7+ woman. This leads to me being attracted to slightly overweight women idk. If I see a model type girl I’m really not even attracted to her because it’s just unrealistic for me

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-08-04T17:38:38+00:00

Tbh it sounds like he was trying to make you insecure and succeeded. “I usually don’t date (whatever you are) but I’m making an exception” is one of the oldest tricks in the book. He probably dated both older and younger women because he thought they’d be easier than women his age, which somewhat aligns with what you’re saying, but doesn’t equate to a “fetish.” Most people can be attracted to a range of ages and weights within certain limits.

2024-08-04T20:03:46+00:00

I kinda agree. A lot of guys can only attract fat women so they tell themselves they prefer them to cope. You never see physically attractive wealthy men with BBW fetishes.

2024-08-05T02:57:52+00:00

Yup, a lot of guys just fetishize the only thing they feel they have a chance with.

ExternalBarracuda292 · 2024-08-05T03:42:14+00:00

This seems to make sense, and the fact that heavier women are more available is certainly a plus, but it's not generally the main appeal for people who are into that.

For starters, the notion that being thin is desirable is a relatively recent phenomenon. For much of human history, food insolvency has been the norm, this is why our bodies have fat reserves in the first place. Historically, having a heavier build was seen a sign of status, because it meant you both had enough resources to eat ample meals and enough wealth to not have to engage in the kind of manual labour that would burn it off. For women there has also been a long association between weight and fertility, since women put on weight during pregnancy, and thus many ancient societies associated this with beauty. So really, people who prefer heavier women aren't depraved, we're just old-school.

Of course, this isn't really the driving factor behind most people's preferences either. It's probably more linked to formative experiences, like growing up around heavyset women or having one of your first loves have that body type. Speaking purely for myself, I'm just someone who loves T&A, and I discovered early on that big girls had a lot more of it.

asexualgolddigger · 2024-08-04T06:57:42+00:00

I told my friend a lot of guys say their exes/girlfriends/wives are “really pretty” and I thought it was weird cuz their exes/girlfriends/wives would be invisible to me. Most people are average-looking and average people all kinda look the same. He said “most guys are subconsciously attracted to the women they think they can get, not the women who are actually hot”. I told my boyfriend and he said “most guys wouldn’t actually go for the girls who look like the girls they jack off to in porn, it’s a double standard”

Comfortable-Drag6550 · 2024-08-04T07:05:38+00:00

Yes, this is true. Every guy I know who is into bigger women is because bigger women are the only women interested in them, or the only women they can date without being insecure/jealous, and their attraction morphs to what they can get.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-08-04T11:54:53+00:00

Men tend to fetishize what has been previously sexually successful for them.

Porn has obviously altered this a bit.

TarJen96 · 2024-08-04T07:15:36+00:00

True. My last girlfriend was overweight. It didn't bother me that she was chubby, because her boobs were bigger and I wouldn't have had a chance with her if she was in good shape. Average or below-average men have to take what we can get.

AutoModerator · 2024-08-04T06:46:26+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-08-04T06:46:27+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-08-04T09:05:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2024-08-04T13:26:36+00:00

As someone who has dated several women far older than himself, this is the absolute truth. As a man, you do eventually develop a preference for the group of women that are heavily interested in you. Biologically, it's a mating strategy to ensure sexual access.

2024-08-04T15:00:06+00:00

The "mere exposure effect," also known as the familiarity principle, is a psychological phenomenon where people tend to develop a preference for things merely because they are familiar with them. This effect was first documented by psychologist Robert Zajonc in the 1960s.

Key Points of the Mere Exposure Effect:

Increased Liking Through Repetition:
- The mere exposure effect suggests that repeated exposure to a stimulus leads to increased liking of that stimulus. This applies to a wide range of stimuli, including people, objects, sounds, and ideas.
Subconscious Process:
- This effect often occurs at a subconscious level. People may not be aware that their increased preference for something is due to repeated exposure.
Universal Application:
- The effect has been demonstrated across various contexts and cultures, indicating it is a widespread psychological phenomenon.
Limitations:
- The effect is most potent for neutral or slightly positive stimuli. Repeated exposure to a highly negative stimulus typically does not result in increased liking and may even result in increased aversion.

Examples of the Mere Exposure Effect:

Advertising:
- Companies use repeated exposure to advertisements to make their products more familiar and appealing to consumers.
Social Relationships:
- People often develop friendships or romantic relationships with those they see regularly, such as classmates or coworkers.
Music and Media:
- Songs or television shows that are heard or seen frequently tend to become more liked over time, even if the initial reaction was neutral.

Psychological Mechanisms Behind the Effect:

Familiarity Breeds Comfort:
- Familiar stimuli are perceived as safer and less threatening, leading to positive feelings.
Cognitive Fluency:
- Repeated exposure makes stimuli easier to process mentally. This increased cognitive fluency is associated with positive emotions.

Application in Real Life:

Understanding the mere exposure effect can be useful in various fields such as marketing, education, and interpersonal communication. For instance, brands can leverage this effect by ensuring their products are seen frequently by potential customers. In education, repeated exposure to educational material can enhance students' preference and engagement with the subject matter.

In summary, the mere exposure effect explains how repeated exposure to a stimulus generally increases our preference for it, due to increased familiarity and cognitive fluency. This effect has widespread applications and is a fundamental concept in psychology.

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-08-04T18:13:17+00:00

I think it’s just simply that men as a group can have a much wider, more varied and diverse sense of attraction especially compared to women.

McTitty3000 · 2024-08-04T18:14:01+00:00

Guys if you are attracted to a certain group of people or certain trait and somebody uses "fetishizing" in order to put you in that category, huge red flag

NewOCLibraryReddit · 2024-08-04T19:13:19+00:00

Op has learned the valuable lesson that men like chicks. Glad you realized this ;)

BrainMarshal · 2024-08-05T06:17:35+00:00

Women sure do know how to turn anything men do into something evil.

throwaway1276444 · 2024-08-07T09:37:53+00:00

I have always had a thing for older women. Like late 30s to 40s look. It was there when I was young. I even had a fling with an older attractive woman when I was 20. Then I met my partner who was 20 and I was 21. It made sense to date my own age, and older women were definitely not easily obtainable.

I was very attracted to my partner physically, she is conventionally hot, so there you go.

Then we both aged and now she is in her early forties. And I am so attracted to her, because I was into hot older women and she is one of those now. My preferences did not change, but they are still just a minor preference.

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-08-12T23:08:33+00:00

As a (possibly ND) man myself, I agree.

I can and have romantized older women at times. The most important one is just a bit older than my own parents.

b15cowboy · 2024-09-02T23:43:09+00:00

I dislike both fat chicks and women older than me

Bklover93 · 2024-10-19T16:50:19+00:00

So coming from younger male myself who's in his early 30s living in a big metropolitan city like NYC this is partly correct.

1) When it comes to responses from dating apps on all platforms between the age range groups of (35-50) & (20-34) that I find relatively "physically" attractive. I would say I better communication and responses from (35-50) age gap of women.

2) my view of what I find physically attractive in a women to me compared to majority of men's physically attractive preference in general is that I actually love older thiccer curvy women in general! So I don't agree with you take that men as a whole hook up with older women due to just being available. I love physically older women a lot more than younger women by far.

Anecdotal notes

The one thing I will partially agree with is that the Majority of men that like the younger skinny female types; does help make older women who are still physically attractive (keeping shape, stay in the gym, etc) less competitive in the dating market when men engage with older "attractive" females in dating apps from matches/responses.

*The two women that were in the age ranges of (25-30) that I wound up having a date with ; I had paid for super likes & profile boost from dating app platforms just getting to communicate &match with them. If it makes guys feel better I successfully met both of these ladies in person. But the pay of these perks don't really warrant the outcome results that I would like to receive.

So this just helps the cause of older women being less competitive for males in general. Knowing the competition for younger women is going to be strong and fierce.

LevelCaterpillar1830 · 2024-08-04T09:11:46+00:00

Being attracted to very older women or very fat chicks is not optimal for child creation. I ha e this pet theory that these men romanticize what they think is sexually available.

Not sure anyone's gonna admit it, but this is actually factual, and it's not a gendered thing by any means.

Plenty of people fetishize unattractive traits because they perceive unattractive people to be lower cost and thus more accessible in the dating world. It's like their personal adaptation mechanism to their circumstances.

It very rarely has anything to do with them actually having a fetish for said thing. Though it does happen. Very rarely.

WanabeInflatable · 2024-08-04T10:25:09+00:00

I like fat women (but not old). It is not related to them being "available" - I recall being attracted to fan neighbor chick while I realized that I have no chance. Though it is probably somehow related to my main kink.

OP is making a generic theory based on just one example

Unique_Mind2033 · 2024-08-04T12:42:20+00:00

No doubt age gap sexual attraction is weird and fringe. But there's a lot that can be born of a teacher-student relationship or an expert-prodige or a boss-employer or even reverting to a parent child thing. It's best not to sexualize it. It's.natural to want, but probably not best to sexualize.

imagineDoll · 2024-08-05T01:20:10+00:00

stop lying. you’re not a woman.

Title	The preference of some men for very older women or very fat women is because these men have romanticized what they perceive as sexually available
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	7
Comments	160
Date	August 4, 2024 6:46 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ejoy98/the_preference_of_some_men_for_very_older_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-preference-of-some-men-for-very-older-women-or.1526273 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526273

Comments

Key Points of the Mere Exposure Effect:

Examples of the Mere Exposure Effect:

Psychological Mechanisms Behind the Effect:

Application in Real Life: