What do you assume to be the normal rate of matches the average guy on a dating app receives?

lastoflast67 · 2025-02-14T20:43:32+00:00

Agree with most of the people commenting maybe one or two matches a month and each has a 10-30% chance of replying and those that reply will ghost the moment there is a lul in conversation.

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-02-14T20:35:23+00:00

I’d say 0-2 a month. But the chances of it being 0 per month are a lot higher than 1-2.

InitialPaths989 · 2025-02-14T20:43:42+00:00

Let’s assume you swipe right on every single girl and it’s active accounts only. I’ve been I think on each tier except bottom by looksmaxing and just working on better pictures.

Bottom 50% of guys next to none or 1-2 matches week.
50-80% of guys matches with average women 2-5%.
80-95% you’ll get cute and average women matching 5-8% match rate.
Top 5% of guys match rate 10-20%, attractive women will go out and hookup.
Top 1% of guys, match rate above 50%, hookups are easy with very attractive women.

The part of this I’ve never seen is who gets lots of dates with average and below average women? I know top 5% guys that hookup with cute girls off apps whenever they want, but who are the guys on dating apps hooking up with average women?

Also, I’ve seen many girls apps that were 7+/10 cute girls who look presentable in a swimsuit and their match rate is at least 60%, some it felt like 90% with the hottest and most successful handsome guys possible included. You would have to be attractive and famous guy to have the SMV of a 7+/10 woman.

BigMadLad · 2025-02-14T20:23:44+00:00

You have to couch this question in time, because the average matches in a day will essentially be zero but will increase overtime. I would say your average guy may get five matches a month, where 1-2 will be not serious or bots or not respond, one will respond earnestly, and the other two will die out fairly quickly.

The common experience is to go multiple days of exhausting all of your likes and not having a single one returned.

Mountain_Sand3135 · 2025-02-14T21:14:58+00:00

probably this

" average match rate for men on dating apps like Tinder is generally considered to be quite low, around 0.6% which translates to roughly one match for every 140 swipes, with most "average" guys experiencing a match rate below 2% due to the higher female selectivity on these platforms. "

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-02-14T20:30:08+00:00

Average guy? Hardly any, maybe 2-3 real people per month, and they wouldn’t be the type he’s interested in dating.

Average guy after a year of working at his profile and leveling himself up might start to get some decent results.

Women can choose from above average men who have been curating their profile for quite some time.

PattayaVagabond · 2025-02-14T21:27:54+00:00

depends wildly on if you pay for premium and if you are shadow banned on that platform.

I payed for hinge for one month and had girls way out of my league messaging me first. Unfortunately it banned me and i cant use hinge anymore.

Using free version of tinder only match with woman I would consider below me (very out of shape etc.)

Using facebook dating never gotten a match ever. Used for 3 months without ever matching with anyone. completely destroyed my self esteem for a while.

Overall I've gotten more dates by just doing nothing and waiting for girls IRL to ask me out than I have gotten dates from the countless hours ive spent on online dating.

GhostXmasPast342 · 2025-02-14T21:14:39+00:00

One match per year.

gutenshmeis · 2025-02-14T20:52:51+00:00

Median would be better, because particularly with men, the matches skew towards the top.

The average might be 1 to 2 per week, depending on location, but I dont think the median is that high.

"Average" on a dating app for a guy is 6ft, average build, average face, and good photos. Meanwhile, that guy is top 30% IRL.

If youre bonafide average (skinny fat, balding, 5'9"), you're practically invisible on the apps.

FarConstruction4877 · 2025-02-14T21:49:09+00:00

Serious matches? Maybe 1-2 a month. My buddy who is a mid 5-6 short skinny Asian dude is getting like 10+ hookups per month tho on hinge searching short term. Idk how he just says go for business students from the local university lol. He is a long time player in the game tho. But serious matches is around 2-3 for him even after spending so much time.

GGMcThroway · 2025-02-14T23:25:43+00:00

Because the man-to-woman ratio is like 9:1.

Longjumping-Goat-348 · 2025-02-14T22:10:23+00:00

About 2 bots and one accidental right swipe.

Fun_Push7168 · 2025-02-14T22:25:06+00:00

Id guess very few.

I'm above average. We'll say I modeled a little at one point, had a stint as a gigolo, I get approached probably 1:5 times I go out and I don't typically use open body language.

In a city of about 1M I'll get maybe 2-3 a week. Maybe 5 at startup.

75k area probably 2 a month. Maybe a week when I first get on an app.

Match to like rate is probably 5-10%

Response rate is probably 90%

I'm guessing for avg guy 1 a month is lucky. Probably less.

growframe · 2025-02-14T21:13:00+00:00

3 or so a month, if I had to guess. I've never used them but that seems to be the range based on the stuff people that do have told me.

aguad3coco · 2025-02-14T22:14:45+00:00

I think a couple a week are normal. Like 1-3 matches a week. Not a whole lot but you can work with it.

Environmental_Day558 · 2025-02-14T22:19:59+00:00

On tinder it would vary wildly. Some days I'd get no matches, some days I'd get like 6-8 (usually after I stop swiping for a bit). Had over 100 total, don't know the exact number cuase my account got auto deleted. Only got one date out of it and it went nowhere.

On bumble I had 8 matches total in 2 weeks. Met my wife and got off.

As for "decent" rate, most men aren't getting that. Maybe a top percent.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2025-02-14T22:31:55+00:00

What’s “normal”? Average, median? Are bots included?

The__Dude_Abides__ · 2025-02-14T22:58:39+00:00

In a medium sized city I will get anywhere from 15-50 a day. I couldn't even count when I visited NYC, it was absurd. However, if I lower my ages to 20 to early 30's than it significantly drops (I'm 40). Most of the women I match with are in shape but older than me.

rhz10 · 2025-02-14T23:35:31+00:00

Probably location dependent, but my return on investment is extremely low. With a thoughtful profile (indicating my interests, personality, and vision for a relationship as well as including clear photos) and personalized openers that show I've read their profile, maybe two matches per month, but only if I send many, many messages.

I'm in the SF Bay Area, which is probably one of the least favorable locations for men.

ChiBron86 · 2025-02-14T23:38:36+00:00

39 year old brown Indian guy here with an n-count of 25 since joining dating apps in mid-2022 after my divorce. I would consider myself a 6/10 and maybe a 7 on a really, really good day. All my notches came via American dating apps (mainly tinder), where on a scale of 10 I'd say the woman I f'd ranged between 3-5 with the rare 6+ thrown in.

I'd say on average I got about 1-2 matches per week on tinder/bumble. Usually from women whose attractiveness was well below mine. Here's the catch though, I'm also on other Indian/Muslim dating apps where not only do I get way more likes/matches, but the quality of matches is far superior too. Which makes it pretty obvious Western women just aren't into brown guys. Whereas I'm Chad on Indian/Muslim apps lol. But it's hard to get anything casual going there. These are all marriage-minded women who are not interested in anything else. So I'm stuck with the subpar matches I get on American apps.

I'd say the average 5/10 American guy on tinder/bumble/hinge probably gets 1-2 matches per week tops.

No_Curve6292 · 2025-02-15T07:29:29+00:00

I’d say I’m pretty average. Over like the last 2 months I have had 5 people “like” me. Out of those I’d probably only match with maybe 1 or 2. I don’t know though because I don’t know who they are or what they look like because I’m not paying for premium and I really don’t swipe a lot so.

Odd_Bodybuilder_1534 · 2025-02-15T13:18:09+00:00

Dating apps are 80% men. Right there the odds are against them. Go out and meet people in real life.

wagman43 · 2025-02-15T15:53:17+00:00

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These were mine from a few months ago

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-02-14T20:54:20+00:00

0-5

Because that’s what dudes say

And I believe dudes

Vlad_The_Great_2 · 2025-02-14T21:21:43+00:00

My experience with dating apps was awful. I received between one match a week to one match a month. Once I did receive a match, she’s either uninterested, a catfish, scamming me, wants to use me for free food and money, or a prostitute. Every man except for two that I’ve talked to has told me they had the same experiences.

Hot-Law2682 · 2025-02-14T22:04:58+00:00

https://roast.dating/blog/tinder-statistics
For Tinder:

Men get on average 1 match out of 40 likes
52 % of men have less than one match a day
13 % of men have less than one match a week

So around 50% of men get one match a day or more, 50% get fewer than one a day.

Then the bottom ~15% get less than one a week

I_DOM_UR_PATRIARCHY · 2025-02-15T02:09:01+00:00

You guys are doing this wrong - I think because you're not adjusting your approach for how the algorithm works. You're thinking about this in terms of women want when what you're actually dealing with is an emotionless set of mechanical rules that lives on a server. I get about 100-150 matches a month and I am completely average looking, not over 6 feet, and pretty shy irl. I do use the premium mode which matches what I'm about to explain.

You have to understand that the dating app company's goal is to keep people participating on the dating app. It's just like Facebook - they want to maximize clicks, not necessarily create successful relationships.

How do they do that? Mostly by showing users a disproportionate number of comparatively "hot" people relative to the user - if they showed you people you thought were unappealing you would quit.

How does the algorithm sort how "hot" people are? The algorithm doesn't have a sense of aesthetic beauty or a way to measure how interesting you are. Instead, it has an enormous amount of compiled user behavior that it draws inferences from. In other words, things that the algorithm can see include (a) how many people match you, (b) how "hot" those people are (based on similar inferences from how many people match them), (c) how many of your messages get responded to, (d) how many people you swipe on who match or don't match you back.

Thus, the algorithm uses matching behavior from other users to both determine how many women you get shown to and also how attractive they are. And once it has sorted you, it creates a positive feedback loop which pushes you further in either direction.

So it's very easy to end up in a catch 22 where you initially have a shitty profile, which means you don't get swipes, which means the app decides you're not attractive, which means you don't get shown to anyone, which means you don't get swipes, and the cycle continues. By contrast, if the app decides early on that you're hot then the opposite effect occurs.

So the trick is to use the algorithm to help you, not hurt you. To be clear, nothing I'm saying will get women to actually be attracted to you in real life - you have to do that on your own. This is just how to get past the algorithmic gatekeeper so that women actually see your profile and can decide if they like it.

Here is how you game the algorithm without needing to be an extremely physically attractive person:

Rule One: If you already have a profile and it's failing, delete it and make a new one or go to a different app. If you're getting zero or few matches and you don't have a ridiculously awful profile, that indicates that the app has already put you in the unattractive pit. It's easier to start anew than climb out.
Rule Two: Before you make a profile, gather information about what profiles the algorithm considers hot. An easy way to do this is to ask an attractive female friend to let you see the male profiles it is matching her with. Since the algorithm has probably decided she is hot, the male profiles it's showing her are indicative of the kinds of male profiles the algorithm has decided are hot.
Rule Three: Study those profiles and look for the personality-independent patterns. By this I mean that there are patterns that successful profiles have in common that are independent of the personality characteristics of the individual person who's profile it is. Things like (a) good photos that show them having a fun and active lifestyle and not bathroom selfies; (b) interesting stories that reveal something about their personality; (c) quips, jokes, or questions that form an easy and interesting way for women to start a conversation; (d) a positive outlook. An analogy here is the way professional Youtubers, regardless of the kind of videos they create, all ask viewers to "like, subscribe and hit the bell button" - that is a content independent pattern. You are looking for the equivalent with successful dating profiles.
Rule Four: Before you go and make a profile (i) pre-write it, (ii) think hard about it over a couple days, and (iii) fucking introspect. Don't just ape a successful guy's personality - that's catfishing and it's a dumb, unsuccessful strategy. You profile tells a micro story about who you are, you need to think about and understand yourself to tell that story successfully.

Here are some tips for doing this well: First, you need to show, not tell. Think of some things about you that make you an attractive, interesting person - broad characteristics like loyalty, humor, kindness, reliability, intelligence, or whatever. Now drill into that.

Let's say you picked reliability: Why do you think you're a reliable person? There are presumably concrete examples from your life when people have been able to depend on you and you've risen to the occasion. Now think of a way to communicate that concrete evidence with your profile in a way that shows you are reliable rather than just you claiming to be reliable. For example, you might say "I'm always excited to hang out, but I can't on Saturdays because that's the day I help my grandparents at their house." Or get a funny picture from a time you helped your friend move, etc.

There are lots and lots of ways to do this, but your final profile should communicate the attractive things about you without you having to explicitly claim that you have them. You're doing this for two reasons: (a) anybody can claim to be reliable but people are much more likely to believe you if you show it; (b) a concrete story is an interesting conversation starter in a way that "I'm a reliable person" is not. You are not only making yourself appear more believably attractive but you are making yourself more approachable. But doing this well takes actually knowing yourself well enough to sell yourself.

Rule Five: If you need to do some self improvement, do it before you create an unsuccessful profile. For example, maybe you've been sedentary of late and you don't have recent photos of you living an interesting, active lifestyle. Go be active for a couple months and bring a camera. Invest in one of those cell phone camera tripods (they're only like $20). Read some interesting books so you have something interesting to talk about.

I'm not saying you have to be perfect - nobody on the apps is. But you are way less likely to get sorted into the unattractive pot by the algorithm if you fix the easy things to fix prior to making your profile.

Also, if you don't have good photos read some photo composition theory so you understand how to compose the good photos of yourself with the tripod you just got. Then take hundreds of photos - even if you're un-photogenic (I am) taking a very large number of photos means some of those photos will show you well.

Rule Six: Don't make your profile public until it is ready. A half completed profile won't draw swipes and therefore will make the algorithm sort you into the pit.
Rule Seven: If you can, be in an area with a better gender balance when you first make your profile public. The app is going to try matching you with people close by. If you're in an area that skews heavily male, you're not going to get a lot of matches and to the algorithm that means you're unattractive. So even if it's just temporary, spending a week in an area where the odds favor you helps convince the algorithm that you are more attractive.
Rule Eight: Don't try to match with every single woman the app shows you. That will show up in the algorithm's metrics as lots of women turning you down, which it reads as an indicator that you are unattractive. Match women you actually have something in common with who are likely to match you back.

Because of the positive feedback loop, this gets easier the longer you do it. I am super selective about the women I match with because the app sends me tons of women and I can be. I pretty much only match with girls who say they like reading books or who have some kind of advanced degree and almost 100% of them match me back because we have things in common. That convinces the app that I'm attractive, so it shows my profile to lots of women, which lets me be selective.

Rule Nine: Before you send messages, they should satisfy two requirements: First, what you say should be interesting. Second, what you say should set the woman up to easily say something interesting back.

"Sup," "how's you day going," and (God forbid) "hi" don't satisfy either of these requirements. Lots of women won't respond because (a) why would they and (b) you made it a chore for them. The algorithm metrics see this as lots of women not wanting to talk to you (and in fairness, that's an accurate insight). That just skews you into the unattractive pile.

Finally, lots of these suggestions aren't going to be all that useful if you're just trying to get laid and have nothing more to you than that. But if that's all there is to you as a person, that just makes you a boring, uninteresting person and obviously the algorithm is design to pick up on that. If you just want to get laid, skip all of these steps and instead 1. Be attractive and 2. Don't be unattractive. These tips really only work if you're actually looking to date people because they're built around actually communicating that you are an interesting person.

But the good news is, the vast majority of dudes can successfully employ these steps. The key is to put in the work early so you set yourself up for the algorithm to boost you rather than being lazy up front and then fighting a trickle of matches for months on end.

Also, I've never tried it as a woman but I'm pretty sure these tips would work for women who are struggling as well.

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_phe_nix_ · 2025-02-14T22:19:18+00:00

It depends a lot on your profile, what you write, the vibe of your pics etc, and are you using premium paid boosts

Trancetastic16 · 2025-02-14T23:18:42+00:00

One-three matches a month depending on their culturally pre-dominant charisma/personality and socio-economic status within our western cultures and potentially compatible with 1%, one who continues to reply and agree to date among the statistical minority of average women within his league and niche who swipe Yes on him.

I use Hinge and Bumble and as someone average faced, average Australian male weight and height, mixed race, Queer, Autistic and disabled, this is also the case for me as someone doing their best to niche-max in dating by necessity.

Pulloutprince · 2025-02-15T00:03:26+00:00

No clue the average but I get like 1-2 hinge likes a day usually but only like 2-3 a week that I would actually swipe right on

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-02-15T08:36:57+00:00

You realize that how many matches the average guy gets depends on who he swipe, how old he is and what he is looking for on the app. Average guys looking for relationships will have a way higher match rate than average guys looking for casual sex only.

Usual-Vermicelli-867 · 2025-02-15T13:28:20+00:00

0-3 a month. And all 3 will happen in the same day for some reason

Now remove 1-2 for "weekend evening likes" and another 1 for : i wont speak whit you

And i have mybe 1 every 2 months

_weedkiller_ · 2025-02-15T15:04:40+00:00

Completely depends on where he lives.

Khanluka · 2025-02-15T15:58:35+00:00

Real ones 3 match per month. None replay or fake 15 a month

612King · 2025-02-15T16:25:04+00:00

I was getting about 10 matches a day when I was using it. So I was messaging about 50-100 women per week but only about 50% respond to my opening line. Then from there I’d end up getting about 5 phone numbers a week. From there I’d actually go on 1 date per month. I think my work and kid schedule sucks, and also my actual texting game sucks too, lol.

I think I started texting like a woman because I just wasn’t putting much effort into my messages after so many matches. It was a weird feeling going from virtually no matches, to an unsustainable amount to actually fully engage my effort into these conversations. But even asking open ended questions, I still get one word responses, then it just fizzles out.

izzzy12k · 2025-02-15T20:01:07+00:00

Well, I would get 2 to 3 matches a year (on a good year).. that's on Facebook dating, which has been the best app where I've actually gotten dates from.

I've gotten like zero matches on other apps like Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, and others. I once got a match after paying for the 3 month sub on match.com.

sadmatchatea · 2025-02-15T21:29:58+00:00

I know an above average guy (conventional 8 imo) that got 5 ish matches a week and a below average guy (conventional 3 imo) that got about 2 matches a month. They both live in the same small city. So I would guess 1-2 matches per week in highly populated areas. The hot guy hooked up with a different woman about once a month. He knew he had enough options and gave each girl a chance before dating one of them who he’s still with. The ugly guy hooked up with two people in a year after a lot of effort and frustration.

giveuporfindaway · 2025-02-16T00:07:45+00:00

In the US on paid Tinder it may be 0-2 a month.

On VK (Russian) it's 2+ a day if I'm putting in effort into the algorithm.

Shissslacker · 2025-02-17T23:54:58+00:00

2-3 a day, if you get less than that you’re either very ugly, have a terrible profile, or you’re using dating apps wrong.

Particular_Bee_9989 · 2025-02-19T03:56:35+00:00

1 per 6 month...with her maybe liking you...gender is maybe optional 💔

OwnedIGN · 2025-02-14T23:29:59+00:00

Bruhhh, my shit was alright and I’m mid as hell . And a midget lol

Guys get matches just not as much as girls obviously

Late_Notice02 · 2025-02-14T21:59:15+00:00

I honestly don't believe dudes when they say they only get 0-2 matches a month.

You just aren't using the app correctly at that point.

I'm decent-looking but not amazing and I was getting 20-30 matches per month. Eventually, it slows down as everyone sees your profile for the first time but I got almost 300 matches the first month I made my dating profile. Most of my average ass friends were getting just as many matches.

But, we were using the app correctly and we were all near NYC which might have contributed to it.

Either I'm extremely hot and so are all of my friends or everyone on Reddit fucking sucks at using dating apps.

RoseyButterflies · 2025-02-15T14:43:14+00:00

30 matches in first few weeks idk bro

BiffTannenCA · 2025-02-15T19:39:50+00:00

We don't need to assume when stats have been released. Women swipe left on 98% of men, IIRC.

This means that obese, unattractive women think they deserve a man way, way out of their league.

An 8/10 guy begging fat, ugly single mothers for attention on OLD when he only has to apply himself a little in real life and looks-match is kind of sad.

rejected-again · 2025-02-14T20:33:07+00:00

The average guy might get 1 match per month, and there may be a 25% chance she replies to your message. Dating apps aren't worth it but beta males cling to them because they are too chicken shit to approach women in real life lol.

good_guy_not_evil · 2025-02-14T22:50:57+00:00

An average dude can probably do better in a good location. But typically something about you needs to be above average to be getting more 2 matches a week.

Good location: maybe 1 or 2 a week

Bad location: maybe 1 or 2 a month

I'm personally in a good location and could get 3-4 matches a day. Usually with average or above average women. It's definitely more of a sliding scale and not "zero matches or you're a chad fucking models."

You really only need like 5-10 matches a week to make the apps functional. It's just difficult to get to that point.

Title	What do you assume to be the normal rate of matches the average guy on a dating app receives?
Author	aerodynamicsofacow04
Upvotes	15
Comments	90
Date	February 14, 2025 7:30 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ipisgl/what_do_you_assume_to_be_the_normal_rate_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-assume-to-be-the-normal-rate-of.1543872 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543872

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