Why are some men hateful of women when other men are their biggest competitors?

NockerJoe · 2025-03-03T19:37:30+00:00

I watch sports all the time. Last time I went to an MMA event the big rage from one of the lowers camps wasn't at the guy who won, it was at the judges. After all, their guy put up a good fight, he got a lot of good hits in, and he went the distance, but he still lost by unanimous decision because the fight itself was always booked as if they wanted him to lose.

I had to be the one to explain to that guy's family that the judges aren't fair and that their dad got brought out essentially to lose and make the guy they picked look good. The fact that he actually put up a good fight didn't matter.

I think the same logic applies here. Its not actually an even competition between all comers. The women involved are people with their own tastes and preferences and no amount of roses and steak dinners will give you an advantage if she just plain likes the other guy more for reasons you aren't aware of or can't change. The other guy didn't fix it that way, he's just out here doing his thing too. Its not really on him that he was born looking a certain way and you weren't.

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-03-03T19:38:24+00:00

Because they might see it as women being the one who creates and dictates the rules of dating and romance. Women in essence created and make the rules of the game. They see other men as the players and the women being in the game. When someone fails at it, they go into a mindset of “don’t hate the player, hate the game”. The game in this case is women.

You could also ask: Why don’t women be romantically interested in these individuals before they become red or black pilled? Surely that would stop them from believing in the pills right?

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-03-03T20:08:23+00:00

Both is preferable:

Most couples are shams today. Men are rewarding bad behavior in women by committing to women who use them and vice versa.

Younger generations are meticulously trying to enter relationships where they “use” each other in relatively equal amounts

Whiskeymyers75 · 2025-03-03T19:18:53+00:00

Have a woman cut down your body while going through chemotherapy and radiation and you might understand. Women can be quite cruel about your appearance even if it’s out of your control.

Zabadoodude · 2025-03-03T19:46:14+00:00

focus that anger on self improvement so that you can be better than the other guys.

This is the way. Unfortunately it takes a lot of work and some men start at a genetic disadvantage, so some misdirect their anger at those rejecting them.

Mammoth_Control · 2025-03-03T20:21:06+00:00

These ideas aren't mutually exclusive - that women can act irrationally (according to some men) and men compete with each other for attention from women.

LoudPiece6914 · 2025-03-04T10:18:07+00:00

The frustration is with women who won’t just pick someone. Absolutely men should be angry with the guy who is just stringing her along for casual sex. But from men’s perspective, most women have a lot of good serious guys who would be willing to commit. So the logic of supporting women’s rights being taken away is that the less privileges you have the more you need to hurry up and commit. Also, the feeling is women have a lot of rights and privileges but when it comes time to have responsibilities, they avoid them, whine about them, and complain. Not realizing all the stuff guys do that they don’t want to do because they want a relationship.

RahLyt · 2025-03-04T15:48:06+00:00

you’re in competition with other men to try and show you’re the most compatible person to be with her over other men.

Haha, how naive are you?

Electric_Death_1349 · 2025-03-03T19:23:20+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers; they set the terms, they dictate the rules, the shift they goalposts and ultimately decide who gets to date/have sex/be in a relationship.

Other men aren’t our competitors; they are playing the same hopeless game we are - I don’t resent other men for being more fortunate than me; I do resent the people who’ve made me hate myself for as long as I can remember.

Edit for the benefit of the Mods: I’m not espousing the Black Pill - I could, like others have done, jump on the hamster wheel of self-improvement and eventually I could have been settled for an beta bucksed by a sub-five. I choose not to debase myself like that.

Barely-moral · 2025-03-03T19:27:40+00:00

I can tell you why I have an issue with the way some women behave when it comes to dating.

I consider them moral agents responsible for rewarding morality and punishing immorality with every decision they make in the same way men are.

I believe women are responsible for the incentive structure they create for men when they decide to reward some trait, ignore others and flat out punish some.

Humans are moral agents but they are inevitably affected by the incentive structure they are in.

If you look at the number of women interested in different men you can see that being boring is punished more than being a serial killer.

That means that the incentive structure women create is one that rewards men for building shallow traits instead of rewarding them for acting in a moral way.

That is beyond fucked up.

Sure men are my competition but women are the ones that create the rules of the game and decide who wins it.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2025-03-03T20:09:29+00:00

Why are some men hateful of women when other men are their biggest competitors?

Why do people believe that humans, generally speaking, are rational market participants?

People, particularly in a state of anger and/or anxiousness/insecurity, become irrational.

You see that in the stock market, at the workplace, in the shopping mall, everywhere.

Women are not your opposition in anyway, other men are your main competitors and your goal should be to become better than them, do other men agree with this or can explain why it is women that they’re angry at?

Of course.

If this is news to people, a shrink consultation should be considered (unironically).

RealityCold4693 · 2025-03-03T19:19:39+00:00

Because they look at women these things they’re using the women to compete with the man so you know how people have a conversation about who’s the prize well to a lot of those guys they’re mad that the woman doesn’t choose them so they can’t compete with the dude it’s very weird

Kreeps_United · 2025-03-04T05:49:07+00:00

This sounds like trading one backwards thinking for another. A lot of male anger is a result of trauma, not the need to compete.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-03-04T08:05:17+00:00

In general, men have one kind of bro code. They are rarelly in competition to get a woman, even in a froup of male friend in a bar, they tend to help each other find a partner (ee have terms like gym bro or passport bro)

In the other hand, I know women are competing with each other even if they are friend so I can understand your reasoning.

Plus women have the heavy burden of rejecting. So it's more likely we heard of a man being rejected than a woman stolen by another man

DGenerationMC · 2025-03-04T21:24:50+00:00

Can people just dislike folks equally?

Is that ok, OP, do you approve? Your clearance is sorely needed on this topic.

Akitten · 2025-03-04T02:36:38+00:00

I see a lot of redpill and blackpill men say hateful things towards women and often times some go as far as hoping women’s rights get taken away so they have less autonomy over themselves. I don’t really understand why some men direct this anger towards women when it’s other men that are their competitors.

Well this one is easy. From a purely self-interested perspective. Women with fewer rights have fewer options, and might be forced to lower their standards/settle down early. Having a societal advantage over the other side of the dating market is useful.

When you’re trying to get a woman, you’re not competing with the woman, you’re in competition with other men to try and show you’re the most compatible person to be with her over other men. It is other men that are preventing you from having the success that you want, not the women. The women are simply choosing what is available to them.

Hence why reducing "what is available" to them by forcing women to settle down early (cutting other men out of the competition at the same time) is beneficial for average men. Since women tend to have casual sex only with a top % of men, having more women in the pool doesn't help men as much as removing the top % of men by getting them to pair off early.

Side note, men generally don't get angry at competition. They respect competition. In the end, if another dude gets a girl, that means he did well. On the other hand, all the girl had to do was choose, people are VERY willing to be angry at people who didn't choose them.

To make a sports analogy. If people are picking teams. I don't get annoyed at the person picked over me, but I might dislike the person who is picking.

Klutzy_Charge9130 · 2025-03-03T19:54:37+00:00

I don’t hate people but I hate hypocrisy.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-03-04T00:58:02+00:00

Because it isn’t those men’s fault they have to compete either, the reason it’s so competitive in the first place for men is due to women having an extremely narrow rage in the type of men they can collectively be attracted to, especially in comparison to men who collectively include all women without exception in their attraction.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-03-03T20:26:16+00:00

Because they internally believe they are special and more desirable than the “other options” she has.

It’s always some version of that. They can hamster it any way they want - and maybe they’re right (according to their value system or some ideal value system)

They then go on rants trying to change women’s value systems.

Or they over exaggerate what their value system is (I’m not tall enough, not enough of an asshole, etc)

But it always stems from the first sentence.

Fickle_Friendship296 · 2025-03-03T21:05:11+00:00

Dating isn’t a competition lol. What’s the score, bro?

Nah, dating is just vibes at the end of the day. The right vibe at the right time makes the difference.

growframe · 2025-03-03T21:52:03+00:00

For the same reason people complain about rules or referees/judges instead of just competitors. Sometimes people feel slighted by the game itself, so that's what they complain about. They bargain and propose rule changes with varying degrees of seriousness.

Of course, there's a foundation of misogyny involved.

It is other men that are preventing you from having the success that you want, not the women.

Ehhhhh. Women tend to be pretty capable of just staying single. A lot of the guys you're talking about wouldn't have a chance even if they were the last male on earth.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-03-03T20:27:12+00:00

I reject the idea that dating is a "competition" in such a literal sense. Men need to have more self-respect than to think it's a competition of who can simp harder, or who's taller, etc. It's largely opportunistic circumstance, chemistry, and timing. When you understand this, you "understand women" (quotes for sarcasm, as it's kind of...idk, reductive?)

It's who you are when you meet someone, who they are when they meet you, what you both are looking for in terms of looks and personality, how good you can be together, and how willing you are to commit to each other. This is part and parcel of rejecting one-itis. The reality is that most men and women could be happy with hundreds, if not thousands, of prospective partners and have perfectly fulfilling lives. Thus, there is an element of randomness in who we meet, bond with, and grow with, and that investment justifies the commitment where the juice is worth the squeeze because the odds of such connection are so low that to forfeit the connection and start back at the beginning yields such a low likelihood of similar success that most people don't want to risk what they have and their investment of time into it. And as long as they continue to be happy, that connection - and investment - continues to deepen with time, and thus would necessitate greater levels of betrayal, growing apart, or going back on what formed the relationship to justify leaving as the sunk cost increases.

This is why many breakups tend to follow milestones that represent changes, like new job, moving in together, marriage, kids, empty nest, moving/relocation, unexpected signs of abuse, cheating, etc. - or the lack thereof where expectation exists for growth, eg boredom/complacency.

This also explains why men and women tend to monkey branch, as one who monkey branches already sees that prospective value in someone else who circumstance also put them in proximity to, rather than going back to the general dating pool and starting back at the beginning.

The simple reality is that most people aren't compatible - see https://keeper.ai/calc

Even punching in a few basic preferences like age and language yields a very low "match" rate, and that's before you get into other lifestyle choices beyond drinking/smoking/kids...like own/rent, house/apartment, city/suburb/rural, hobbies, mutual interests, entertainment preferences, introvert/extrovert, and more. Also, this calculator is reducing "looks" solely to race, hair color, eye color, and obese/not obese - says nothing of many other aspects of one's appearance like style, fitness level, hairstyle matches face, etc.

I used this analogy in another sub to explain why being "nice", simping, being available, and "treating a woman right" who isn't attracted to you doesn't matter and won't change her mind. I'll recreate it here:

Imagine a basketball team. The basketball team needs a scorer. The team openly states this everywhere it goes. You happen to be a basketball player. You play great defense. You've been playing basketball for years; you send in your resume every single year, but you never get a tryout. Remember - the team wants a scorer...it ain't you. Playing even better defense still isn't going to get you a tryout. No matter how long you've been playing basketball, the team will try out the new guy who says "Yeah, I can score some" before it'll ever try you out. "But I play world class defense!" - Honey Badger don't care, son.

Such is the same thing with dating and relationships. Being available, being trustworthy, being generally agreeable - these are things that make women feel safe around you. They do not make her attracted to you.

Men who want to be more attractive to women like that need to stop trying to play the best defense ever and learn how to put the ball in the damn hoop. And if that's legitimately not their style, then they need to find a woman who is the equivalent of the basketball team looking for a star defender.

Being jealous that some men are really good at both offense and defense isn't really helping anyone. Nor does it matter if a woman doesn't run in social circles with the men she's looking for. If she wants a scorer, she's going to hold out for a scorer. You being a great defender means nothing, you being a bad scorer on her bench means nothing. She'll leave the roster spot open and have the team sit out the season before she'll put someone else in that role. "Competition" implies she's going to fill that role regardless, which we all know isn't the case. She'd rather stay single than tryout someone she knows isn't what she's looking for, because that's just a waste of everyone's time. That's not a competition, it's compatibility. You don't "win" her affection - she either sees a future with you or she doesn't. She either physically responds to the sight and the idea of you, or she doesn't. That can grow over time, but it's not because you "out-competed" the other guy. It's because you showed her something she desires independent of anything another guy is doing.

James_M_Croft · 2025-03-04T08:40:57+00:00

Because there is very little if any real "hatred" for women. women just call anyone not just constantly singing praises to them "hateful".

abaxeron · 2025-03-04T09:45:21+00:00

Because our lives don't revolve around our own dicks, because women cause more trouble than just denying men sex, and because when women screw up royally and run to daddy government to bail them out of their misery, it's men married to someone else who absorb the costs.

-Kalos · 2025-03-04T06:15:21+00:00

Oh believe me, the losers have a problem with men who are successful with women just as much as women. They try to make us “Chads” out to be evil predators and ugly men are the “nice guy.” They call us simps or white nights or feminists when we don’t tag on women for everything. Bro they hate everyone including themselves

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Schleudergang1400 · 2025-03-06T18:26:34+00:00

The powerless cannot compete. So they rather claim victim status. When women cannot get top positions in companies, they say hateful things about men and how they keep them down and how society needs to take men's rights to hire who they want away, and put women in the positions they cannot be competitive for on their own.

It's the same thing. People who are not competitive try to win the game by going outside the game's rules and change them.

Of course men are the issue to other men. Always has been, always will be. Competitive men enjoy this competition. Only the perpetual losers don't like playing this game by those rules anymore.

Twisting around power dynamics is the zeitgeist. So why shouldn't the losing men try the same thing as other groups do right now? They just copy the ways the powerless try to get into power from other groups.

You really want me to explain why people look for someone to blame in other's that have nothing to do with their issues, rather than looking themselves in the mirror and accepting that they are not competitive for what they want? It's a human thing, not a men thing.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2025-03-03T20:22:39+00:00

Unattractive men = uncompetitive men.

Who (generally speaking) outcompetes bottom of the barrel or lower tier men?

Is it...

a) "other men"

or...

b) "women"

First principles...

Title	Why are some men hateful of women when other men are their biggest competitors?
Author	KyleKingman
Upvotes	25
Comments	134
Date	March 3, 2025 6:35 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1j2pqxi/why_are_some_men_hateful_of_women_when_other_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-some-men-hateful-of-women-when-other-men.1545528 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545528

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