Generalizing by Gender Is Lazy and Harmful

RichyRoo2002 · 2025-06-09T17:02:43+00:00

Gender is just racism for biological sex anyway, we should stop using patriarchial constructs like "masculine" and "feminine"

Remarkable-Strain157 · 2025-06-09T15:54:28+00:00

No don’t say that!! You’re going to get all the narcissistic weirdos offended from each gender!!!

Ruztomski · 2025-06-09T18:49:06+00:00

I agree that we're too tribal, especially the last 15 years or so for the reasons you cited. Tribalism by definition in this context means holding one group's needs above another's.

People who think and feel along group indentity lines are going to have trouble seeing the other group member's views without bias. And mutual problems can't get addressed.

So while generalizations are useful and even necessary to make sense out of things, in this context they're bound to be skewed against the outgroup.

Not along gender or racial lines, but politically and in some work situations I can over identify with "my" tribe. I try to stay aware of this tendency.

Good topic.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-06-09T16:19:42+00:00

Yeah, let’s not pay attention to why anyone does anything. Data? Trends? Fuck em. Useless. We are at the whims of the universe!

Yet ask what women are attracted to, and they immediately begin to create categories… that can be found via data… and normally traditionally minded mating trends….

Very funny.

DashboardPilled · 2025-06-09T16:06:36+00:00

According to the American Psychological Association, rigid gender roles are linked to increased anxiety, depression, and restricted emotional expression, especially in men (APA Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men, 2018).

Rigid gender roles that are only enforced on men will obviously cause anxiety and depression among men because women are not held to the same standard. If you are arguing for the demolition of gender roles in general, I agree. But as long as society expects "men" to be "men", but also expects women to do "whatever the fck they want", we won't be able to reach that goal of unity.

Look at all the articles that talk about men checking out of society. There is always an expectation that men have to go to work and pay taxes, why does the mainstream care if a bunch of dudes voluntarily decide that they are not interested in contributing anything and just want to relax and chill? Are there any expectations baked in these articles? I don't see the same articles about women who are perpetually single and are not interested in having kids.

ViolentShallot · 2025-06-09T16:02:47+00:00

Different situations lead to different life experiences, and different behaviors.

We can generalize by sex because there are generalities in the behavior.

It is also useful information. I'll even throw in a simple example:

Women have more reasons to be conscious about their safety. Hence, most are more careful specially around first dates with an almost stranger.

Which means that if your to go idea of a first date is dinner at home or going to a bit empty park, you're going to get way more rejection as a heterosexual guy that if you recommend a restaurant or a park with lots of people.

Teflon08191 · 2025-06-09T17:57:33+00:00

It can be lazy, but you're throwing the baby out with the bathwater if you're telling people they shouldn't make gendered generalizations.

hakunaa-matataa · 2025-06-09T16:24:44+00:00

I definitely agree. I genuinely believe one very helpful way to combat this would be the implementation of more resources for male mental health. So maybe more representation of close male friendships in media, more encouragement by parents of letting their sons open up about tough emotions, more emphasis on male role models (idk how I unfortunately don’t have all the answers).

There’s clearly a lot of body dysmorphia in this sub alone, and a lot of men explaining how they feel like they aren’t “allowed to have problems” (not putting that in quotations to be sarcastic, just illustrating what they’ve said). I think if we encourage a society that offers better mental health resources to men while continuing to dismantle gender roles for both sexes then we can get to a more “equal” society.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-06-09T16:40:41+00:00

Only if you’re looking for “someone” and not “anyone”

WebNew9978 · 2025-06-09T18:03:12+00:00

I developed the opinions I have based on my IRL experiences. If you want someone to change their opinion, then you’re gonna have to present it in a way that benefits them. Otherwise, they’ll have no reason to change it.

FuuraKafu · 2025-06-09T18:49:58+00:00

rigid gender roles are linked to increased anxiety, depression, and restricted emotional expression, especially in men

Aaaand there you go, a generalization.

I get where you are coming from, but the issue is that the pursuer-pursued dynamic is nowhere near gone, largely speaking. And so in a certain sense, regarding that topic, "don't generalize" turns into "don't think about it, it's not important". A lot of feminists say that: "men not being able to land a date is not a feminist issue and has nothing to do with equality". Which is just... eh, it's not it. You can't have an ideology about gender dynamics that literally just skips over something hugely gendered.

Maybe women are just equal, but then men aren't.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-06-09T19:30:53+00:00

The point here is to explore gender dynamics, so there will always be a male vs. female lens of analysis used around here. Naturally, nobody should only be using that lens. Fair game to comment about the accuracy of a male / female generalization around here; not fair game to say we shouldn't be trying to form one.

reddit_is_geh · 2025-06-09T21:43:05+00:00

generalizing is WHY humans are so successful. It's an emergent social property. It allows us to generate scenarios and predict outcomes. It's what allows us to imagine a situation and imagine what to expect so we can manage it adequately.

We don't have enough time in the world to not generalize. We MUST generalize due to our limited time, and use that to navigate. We have to look at situations, take in all the variables, and predict what's going to happen, weigh the probabilities, and react accordingly.

throwawaytradesman2 · 2025-06-09T17:58:51+00:00

Well, who am I supposed to hate and blame all my problems against if my enemy shares values with me?!?! Lol.

I am joking btw.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2025-06-09T15:59:12+00:00

how would you tackle a fair gender neutral society?

lets start with consent and family structures + upbringing of children... if you want to know why we should start here -> our economy + society is built on this foundation...

ZookeepergameNo631 · 2025-06-09T16:25:26+00:00

I understand what you're saying and I agree with a lot of what you're saying.

However, I have thought about this and there's a few things to consider.

Not everyone is a communications major. During the pandemic I worked with a communications professor at a university nearby and I learned a lot about communications. I also did go back to school for a short time and I studied government and communications. One of the things I learned is that communicating is hard. And the more I learned about it the more I realized that most people really aren't that great at communicating. Some people have some serious problems even just talking and communicating their feelings and concerns through words spoken through their mouth, and it's even harder in writing.
Science uses labels. All forms of study from science to philosophy to politics, whatever, labels things. Labels are necessary in order for us to communicate certain things. That's why in politics everything is broken down by age, class, identity, religion, blah blah blah blah. Even though sometimes these labels do create a lot of issues. They're kind of necessary. So we can't really get away from that.

Lastly, there is something to be said about women, and men. There are issues. There are issues that women have to deal with. There are issues that men have to deal with. What happens is especially online is that there's a lot of miscommunication. It's a lot of people who are frustrated about this that or the other. And they don't always know how to communicate their feelings. People also gravitate towards easy answers. And you're right it's lazy. But that's just how it is. It's way easier to just latch on to a word that describes a certain type of person that you're frustrated with. Your best bet is to just learn how to comb through the noise. Learn not to take it personally. It's hard. But you could do it. I'm starting to get better at it.

DietTyrone · 2025-06-09T17:30:26+00:00

The thing is, PPD is a pill focused forum. And a lot of Red Pill, Black Pill, etc focus a lot of gender dynamics. So, would be kind of hard to avoid that here. PPD just isn't the best space for having more general discussions on humanity as a whole.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-06-09T17:52:04+00:00

Depends, if something is true for the vast majority of that group then it’s a good thing simply because it’s accurate, just because improbable exceptions are possible doesn’t mean they should be considered.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-06-09T18:33:00+00:00

True story, but the only solution is to stop the consumption of a lot of social medias and touch some grass

We can do whatever we want but we can't change the whole humanity as a dpecies or convice ce the creators of thos platform to change the algorithm but I think you know it won't happend

I am happy there are people like you who spread the truth though

SeemedGood · 2025-06-09T21:19:15+00:00

The idea that humans are somehow unlike all other sexually reproducing animal species on Earth and do not exhibit sexual dimorphism of behavior is a massive denial of biological science.

Srapture · 2025-06-09T22:33:44+00:00

We generalise because it is usually true that "men do this" and "women do that". It's helpful to acknowledge patterns where they exist so you can better understand people.

Men are quicker to anger and women are quicker to tears. This won't apply to every individual in those groups but, broadly speaking, it is a helpful generalisation when it comes to considering how to interact with people. To try and prevent yourself from realising those generalisations would only handicap you in social interactions.

StopTheIncels · 2025-06-09T17:48:45+00:00

Hierarchies exists whether you like it or not. Just because we are all 'equal in the eyes of human society' doesn't mean our lesser biological instincts/realities don't exist. E.G. women (females) ARE the primary child rearers because they LITERALLY give birth to them.

There will always be a 'them' and a 'us'. We literally came from tribes that, surprise, kill and compete with other tribes for resources. Things aren't being made worse by grouping things, it's the deliberate disingenuous of those groupings.

anonqwertyq · 2025-06-09T16:19:26+00:00

shared Human needs, personal responsibility

Good lucking discussing those with feminists.

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Logos1789 · 2025-06-09T16:42:05+00:00

Ok, I hear you, but there are clearly differences at a population level among different groups.

The entire field of sociology depends on noticing these differences.

leosandlattes · 2025-06-09T17:17:19+00:00

Generalizing by gender is helpful when I want to talk about persistent trends by sex. “Women like men who are taller than herself” is a fair statement to make. It is rare that women actively want to date a man who is shorter than herself.

Humans are really good at pattern making. The way we sort information is based on groupings and patterns. I do not buy into the idea that everybody is so individually unique that there are no visible trends by sex, ethnicity, culture, social class, socioeconomic bracket, religious groups, etc.

Mindless-Many-286 · 2025-06-09T18:07:29+00:00

I think generalizations can be very useful (including ones about gender) but it's an issue when people use it to be tribalistic. In conversations about life and experiences though, it's a very useful way to simplify the very complicated world and make statements about it. There's over 8 billion individuals on this planet so it would be impossible to know and make caveats for every single person in every statement you want to make about behaviour, experiences, life, etc.

I think the issue stems from people who take those statements as meaning it's all inclusive. I for one can understand that men are much more interested in sports compared to women, but I also know that I as an individual am not interested in them even though I am a man. I don't try or care to hold myself to that "standard." I think we need to start preaching these concepts: something can be generally true about your group but you can be an individual who doesn't conform to them and that's perfectly fine in most cases. This is the only way we can continue having meaningful conversations while not upholding standards that we don't need to or that harm us as individuals.

Research backs this up: studies show that gender stereotypes not only oversimplify but actively limit people’s behaviors, choices, and mental health. According to the American Psychological Association, rigid gender roles are linked to increased anxiety, depression, and restricted emotional expression, especially in men (APA Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men, 2018).

I am sorry but I don't trust that guideline, it was just a feminist propaganda piece last I remember; it's almost the same as quoting the Bible in my eyes lol.

maxmillius_chaddicus · 2025-06-09T18:12:01+00:00

There is nothing wrong with generalization. Lots of what is being discussed is accurate across those groups. Damning generalizing because it puts people into camps is egregious. It stops our ability to discuss actually real and demonstrable patterns across those groups.

It may feel discriminatory, but that discrimination isn't a bad thing if it is true and accurately reflects that groups behaviors.

Your argument favors emotional safety over the truth. It's not a solid rational foundation

4444-uuuu · 2025-06-09T22:31:59+00:00

It's harmful if it's a generalization that only applies to a small number. But it's useful if it applies to the vast majority. For example:

Why do men cheat on women?

is not useful because most men don't do that.

But

Why do women expect men to take the initiative?

is useful because it is something that applies to 99% of women and is at the center of larger problems with sexism.

According to the American Psychological Association, rigid gender roles are linked to increased anxiety, depression, and restricted emotional expression, especially in men (APA Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men, 2018)

and maybe we should talk about where those rigid gender roles come from: Women (including bluepilled feminist women) rigidly refusing to date any man who doesn't adhere to them.

petellapain · 2025-06-10T00:19:56+00:00

Without generalizing gender it would be impossible to have a coherent debate or even discussion on gender. If every single observation had to be burdened by caveats and parenthesis about 'not all' or 'sometimes in my personal experience', every discussion about gender would be prohibitively tedious. When someone asks why men dont approach anymore, they understand its a generalization. They know it doesn't mean zero men ever approach. They can use basic reasoning to know it means the frequency of men approaching has decreased compared to some decades before. Its a useful generalization to express a phenomenon in few words instead of a huge paragraphs

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-06-10T07:37:44+00:00

As long as you don't exepct that the generalizations by gender say anything about an individual of that gender, what is the problem?

chobolicious88 · 2025-06-10T12:11:50+00:00

I dont think its lazy.

Its lazy if you see it as “it applies to all men and women”. But typically its “mens and womens nature is like this” and different people integrate that nature/biology to different amount

Zestyclose_Use7404 · 2025-06-10T17:44:45+00:00

Men are hard to generalize. Women are not. Women deviate very little from averages. Men live at the tails.

Furthermore, stereotypes are a powerful, highly effective tool for predicting behavior, despite assertions to the contrary.

So, everyone should be generalized as much as possible, and women especially.

ComprehensivePipe448 · 2025-06-09T15:56:54+00:00

Nothing to really argue against with this post. All I can say is of course we going to use generalisation when trying to analyse when on average men tend to do this while women tend to this , especially on a subreddit like this but if u men like in general , like on twitter where people post rants about how all men cheat , or all women cheat yes it’s harmful obviously gender wars are super Annyoing

bzl33 · 2025-06-09T16:52:08+00:00

It feels like the internet is addicted to putting people in categories, and it’s pulling us further apart. I’m starting to think we’re stuck in a loop of “us vs. them” in every direction.

You are put in categories from your youth without knowing it. This wasn't created by the Internet. What people don't like about "generalizations" is when they are negative and imply that you aren't good enough. Unfortunately pretty hard to deal with this without insulating yourself heavily.

Soggy_Head_4889 · 2025-06-10T00:08:15+00:00

Generalizations are fine. The reality is most men and women across a population are going to act/behave in similar manners to other people from their gender and understanding those generalization helps us navigate new relationships better.

I think over-generalizing and assuming stereotypes apply 100% of the time is a problem that doesn't help anyone, which is what I think you're really alluding to, but I think there are plenty of instances where generalizing is perfectly fine.

Title	Generalizing by Gender Is Lazy and Harmful
Author	BeautyinBrevity
Upvotes	85
Comments	165
Date	June 9, 2025 3:51 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1l78cud/generalizing_by_gender_is_lazy_and_harmful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/generalizing-by-gender-is-lazy-and-harmful.1554340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554340

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