If paternity fraud was considered a serious crime and the mother was made to pay.

EulenWatcher · 2025-06-12T10:30:02+00:00

I don’t mind making paternity fraud legally a fraud. Not sure about current laws, but in Russia you aren’t reasonable for the kid if the paternity was questioned and you got the test ordered by court. The only exception is adoption.

ashpr0ulx · 2025-06-12T11:11:58+00:00

having been very close to a paternity situation like this, i think your post entirely misses the fact that monetary justice will never match up to what has been done. sure, make the man monetarily whole. but the person in my life who went through this just wanted his kids and didn’t care about money. and dealing with custody issues and that fallout is a very big part of justice

your post sorta leans on the notion that men are robotic and won’t love a child regardless and will be happy to take a check and walk away. maybe some, but you’re missing the humanity. some men in this situation are terrified of losing a child they love.

to answer, i believe in monetary compensation and mediation to determine how to best move forward depending on if the man wants to continue involvement. i don’t believe in jail time for such an offense because that just rips another parent away from a child and burdens the taxpayer.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-06-12T10:28:48+00:00

I would do a paternity test if it was asked before trying for a baby

JustGeminiThings · 2025-06-12T22:56:06+00:00

Have you ever seen restitution checks from people who don't really have any real money? They're pretty symbolic, more than anything. So, ok, this dude is getting $8 every two weeks. Is it from the kid? Because money you spend on a kid is for them. If you can prove foreknowledge and intent on the woman's part, then ok, there's some sort of fraud case - take her to civil court. Take her to divorce court if applicable. You can probably do that right now. But most of the time it's going to be messy, impossible to prove intent, and people's predilection for denial is going to be the main feature of the situation. If this is genuinely keeping men at night then be very careful, maybe try not to have kids, or set and hold a standard that you expect a paternity test if kids are ever on the table. Talk about it early on. Don't make it about her. A lot of potential partners will walk, but it's better than the living hell I would make our relationship if it were sprung on me.

SnooCats37 · 2025-06-12T10:35:44+00:00

I think the majority of women would consider paternity fraud abhorrent and devastating for both the man and child involved. It should be considered fraud. I think the internet is making men really worried it's going to happen to them even though it's incredibly rare, in the UK, it's around 2% of fathers. I think perspective needs to be kept. Yes, it's devastating, it should be considered fraud, but it's unlikely to happen to you.

ThatBitchA · 2025-06-12T12:38:10+00:00

It's bananas to me how much this sub is concerned about paternity fraud.

I mean, most of this sub is sexless scrooges. And yet the worry about most unhinged things.

Paternity fraud is not something that happens in any grand scale to make a "serious crime".

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-06-12T21:32:47+00:00

there is no reason for this at all, simply allow men to test paternity at any time and divorce and get out of CS if the test says its not their at any time. right now there's a kind of estoppel at work (I want to say laches doctrine?) where if you've supported a child as yours after a certain point you cant economically disown it. you could just end that

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2025-06-12T16:26:33+00:00

Women don’t dislike being asked to verify paternity. ONS, relationships that are fairly new, all pretty normal to ask for a paternity test. And if you aren’t married and need benefits or child support, the court will order one anyways.

What women don’t like is trying for a baby with their husband and being surprised with a “hey I don’t trust the baby we just actively tried for is mine, and I need you to prove you aren’t a cheating, lying, whore. Okay?”

There are very few situations a man who finds out a kid isn’t his is responsible for that kid. In fact it’s so few and far between, the examples of it are notable. Even a married couple who discovers fraud can go to the court and not be held liable for the child anymore. But you can’t know about the fraud for three years and then file. It does have to be right away or you’ve assumed responsibility.

I would support fines after the kid turned 18. The kid still needs someone to care for it, and be raised in housing with food and clothing. And unless we are subsidizing children, that’s the parent’s responsibility. Tossing mom in jail or taking her money while raising the child creates further burden on an already worn thin social services agency. So unfortunately it isn’t feasible. It isn’t fair - I don’t think someone committing fraud should just get away with it - but throwing her in jail doesn’t help either. Just like throwing a man in jail over child support doesn’t help except in the most extreme cases where he doesn’t ever pay anyways. It isn’t fair dads get to walk away and not pay a dime or contribute at all. It’s not fair some women knowingly commit fraud. But I do think the kid needs to be cared for either way. And forcing the government to do it isn’t a solution.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-06-12T12:41:37+00:00

Paying him in general, sure, but one of the problems with paying back the exact amount of money is that that implies the money is hers. It's not hers, it's for the kid. And it's not the kid's fault the dad wanted to support that kid. Both making the kid pay the full amount or making the mom pay the full amount sets bad precedents- for the kid, it sets the precedent that kids owe a parent who regrets raising them (I could see a, say, homophobic parent try to use that in court if he finds out his kid is gay, with "I didn't consent to raise a gay kid. I raised him to be straight". For the mom, it sets the precedent that the child support money belongs to her in the first place, and she has more right over it than the kid.

Punishment for paternity fraud should be based in deterrent, not based on compensating the dad. The point should be to get women to not do it.

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ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-06-12T19:26:06+00:00

I would fully support repayment for the number of years that he financially supported the child if the fraud was intentional. Like if your wife claimed to be raped, and you knew, it wasn’t intentional fraud even if it’s not your kid. It’s not intentional fraud if you’re aware that your partner is having sex with other people too. The only way this works if she says there’s no other possibility.

Traditional_Lab1192 · 2025-06-12T20:12:27+00:00

Honestly this law doesn’t really bother me. I think that it would only be applicable though if there is solid proof that the man was consistently in the child’s life and/or consistently provided financially. If he was a “Sometimes” dad then the mother would have grounds to fight against paying him back full child support payments. She might just have to pay a one time fee instead or something like that.

Superb-Foundations · 2025-06-12T20:12:29+00:00

Youre saying that like its already not a thing. At least in America it for sure is. If a man has been paying child support and finds out the child isnt his whoever he sent the money to has to pay him back. He has to go to court but its not that uncommon.

Temporary-Flight-192 · 2025-06-13T03:49:39+00:00

I definitely would support a vehicle for monetary compensation, but I feel like you are missing something. This goes WAY beyond money

The court would still side with the mother and probably make the man still look after the child that isnt even is

I think many more men need visitation and custody protections for children not biologically theirs that they have grown to love. I don’t know anyone who found out the child they had grown to love was not their biological child, but my brother has two bios and one adopted, he would be heartbroken to lose connection to any of his kids.

I think the feelings of many men would be way more complicated than feeling scammed. I know of two celebrity situations where a man has found out his kid was not his biological kid. Filmmaker Sarah Polley did a documentary about her father who raised her not being her biological father. He repeatedly told he it didn’t matter, he loved her all the same. John Astin found out his son, actor Sean Astin wasn’t his son. They are still incredibly close. https://youtu.be/_Ch2S358qqY?si=ExfaxmZeDXYZedbx

Also finding out later is really complicated for the kid too. I understand why you want to punish the mother, after actually raising a child, money isn’t going to be the biggest issue for many people.

I think all paternity testing should be done at birth by the state. I think men should know going in before they raise a child if it’s their biological child.

We used to have mandatory blood tests for a marriage license long ago to test for venereal disease. Obviously in an era when both partners would either be virgins or had only ever had sex with each other, for one of the engaged couple to ask the other partner for a vd test would seem accusatory. The state required blood tests for venereal disease eliminated this potential source of conflict.

The only thing that gives me pause is this latest push for the government to collect data on us. I don’t want the government or Elon musk to have my data. That data would have to be protected from the government in some by some very specific and strict laws. But having this information at birth would be much better than penalties later on

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-06-13T19:25:29+00:00

Fraud is fraud. But paternity fraud would be hard to prove. That’s why it usually gets sorted out in family court, not as a criminal case. They tend to focus more on what’s best for the kid than trying to punish someone for lying.

Bewiz_Lisa · 2025-06-12T11:04:38+00:00

No, because you already can sue for paternity fraud under existing law.

2025-06-12T13:31:46+00:00

It definitely should be a crime with jail time and should be treated no different than already existing forms of fraud with increased penalties the more money that was fraudulently obtained. Most civil cases will not be worth pursuing unless they are capable of paying the money back so I am in support of criminal punishments for cases where they would otherwise face 0 consequences.

But if they want reimbursement I don’t see why wages can’t be garnished, gambling earnings confiscated, or money made selling your home/car could be confiscated. I would support changes like that.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2025-06-12T12:22:51+00:00

I don’t necessarily disagree with the sentiment but I don’t think that having the mother pay back the child support wouldn’t really be feasible considering the majority of the negative fallout from that would impact the child.

You know, like, if you’re paying $500 a month in child support and end up finding out it’s not yours. To have the mother pay you back she’d not only stop receiving that allowance but would have to pay $500 back as well. So basically their lifestyle decreases by $1,000 a month.

And while I do think this is a really poor situation for the man, and I do think there should be some way to help him recover - I think doing it this way unfairly impacts a child who has absolutely no control or responsibility for what their parent says or does. And I think it would also increase taxes for everyone else because there would be more need for welfare programs and safety nets. This is a good conversation to be having though in my opinion. And I do think there should be something done to change the way things are - I just don’t think this is the right way to do it.

Also though, I don’t have kids - don’t really know too much about child support and paternity laws outside of my state so maybe I’m just tripping lol.

Sophiatab · 2025-06-12T15:51:36+00:00

I think once a man accepts legal responsibility for the child, they are legally responsible for support. If a man has reason to believe he should not be legally responsible, he needs to declare it immediately. In other words make a decision and live with the ramifications. Now I don't think a parents are responsible for illegitimate children being stuck with all the costs (or no legal right to contact with one's children) is just punishment for having children outside of marriage.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-06-12T15:58:15+00:00

You can already sue for fraud

You can already test without asking the mom

I do not believe imprisoning or impoverishing a mom is in the best interest of the child

Title	If paternity fraud was considered a serious crime and the mother was made to pay.
Author	Albedo200
Upvotes	33
Comments	296
Date	June 12, 2025 10:26 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1l9j02k/if_paternity_fraud_was_considered_a_serious_crime/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-paternity-fraud-was-considered-a-serious-crime.1554537 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554537

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