I’mma state what I did the other day, and wanted to ask a more broad question as to whether or not there’s agreed upon guidelines men need to adhere to as far as cold approaching at the gym.

I was doing a finishing workout in the mirror. This lady in the 7:00 direction (over my right shoulder in the mirror) made eye contact with me multiple times. Or at least I interpreted it as that. At the time I wasn’t sure if me looking at myself in the mirror looked like I was looking at her, so then she looked at me, a buncha back and forth eyeball miscommunication from what I could tell.

But I figured I’d speak because you miss 100% of shots you don’t take, plus I didn’t wanna be that goofball guy who “didn’t get the hint” that she may have been giving me “the look”, when men can misinterpret “the look” literally 10 ways before we come to the conclusion you want us to approach (especially if it’s just a passing glance or a glaring up-down look like you’re disgusted with me or something, RBFs don’t help 😂), it’s like looking at Darth Vader in his mask and wondering what he’s feeling .

Anyways I got the front desk clerk to gimme some receipt paper , write my name and number down, took a trip to the water fountain cuz I’m not gonna go looking everywhere for you. If I see you, I see you. If I don’t , whatever. Not skulking around for you. But I saw her, she was on her phone(I’d rather strike now than when she’s actively working out) , so I just introduced myself and asked her name, it’s Rebecca, “hey just wanted to say I saw you working hard, wanna keep this short and sweet cuz you’re in the middle of a workout, if you ever wanna get some (insert Smoothie Place across the street) then just hit me sometime and have a nice day.

I can tell by how awkwardly and slowly she put my number away she wasn’t gonna text/call Lol, it’s whatever rejection is part of the dating experience. But I wanna know if that approach is as close to a One Size Fits All as men can get and if that should be the conclusive, unanimous plan of attack.

  • Respectful of her space
  • Wasn’t pushy and kept it moving when done
  • Typical offer to just go out for something anyone in fitness would likely be interested in
  • Respectful of both our time and space
  • Didn’t skulk around looking for her, honestly if I didn’t see her while taking that trip to the water fountain like if she was in the bathroom/locker room then I’d have just called it a day.

What’re your thoughts and/or guidelines?

She also had her headphones in. I hear a lot don’t disturb someone if they have headphones in, but keep in mind nobody (approachable or not) has a reason for their headphones to be out unless they flat out don’t have any , or cuz they’re in a literal group working out together . So that’s not really a reliable metric to go by either.

I say single ladies cuz I don’t need “um sir I’m married so please don’t approach 🤓” well fucking duh. I’m asking those who don’t mind being approached in the gym. Unless you’re dumb enough to wear your expensive ring to a place where physical exertion and iron weights are thrown around just for it to either break or get lost, or you’re wearing an “I’m married” tshirt, I don’t need a response from you.