Women would have less trouble finding partners if more women had personalities

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-08-04T02:40:36+00:00

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Flightlessbirbz · 2025-08-03T20:36:46+00:00

Women also think men are boring because the truth is they just tend to have different interests. Many guys do not do “deep conversations” either, and just info-dump about themselves or their particular interests without ever seeming to notice the other person’s eyes glazing over.

What you do or don’t find “interesting” entirely depends on your own perspective. Your description of “having a personality” has a real autistic bent to it quite frankly, and I’m saying this as someone who is neurodivergent themselves.

Furthermore, most men in my experience really do not want to hear a woman talk about her niche interests. They want her to be interested in THEIR niche interests and impressed with THEIR knowledge. There have been many times I felt boring in a conversation with a man, but that was because… I barely got a chance to talk because he was too busy giving a lecture.

AngeAware · 2025-08-03T20:36:49+00:00

As a woman with some pretty stereotypically nerdy/quirky interests, I would say that especially for Gen Z women it's a solid advantage in terms of initial interest from guys.

However, depending on the personality of any given guy, things can get weird really fast. If you don't know enough, you can run into gatekeeping behavior. If you know too much to the point where you're even correcting him on things he gets wrong, you can get defensive behavior. I've noticed that a lot of women with these types of hobbies tend to prefer to talk to other women about them because the guys can be so frustrating to deal with. Or they find a trusted coed circle and don't feel much of a desire to branch out beyond that.

One of the things that really impressed me about my SO, who shares many of my interests, was how much grace and humility he had compared to other men I had talked to about them. He was always curious and willing to learn more. He was self-aware about his blind spots and parts of lore he might not know as well as others. I've also met other great guys through him who behave similarly. And are all married or engaged interestingly enough.

KayRay1994 · 2025-08-03T20:08:25+00:00

Funny cause lots of men are boneheaded npcs too and many women do have niche hobbies, debate philosophy, have nerdy interests and so on.

I reckon in reality, the ratio of ‘normie’ vs ‘non normie’ people is very similar across both genders. Being a man doesn’t inherently make you this intellectual, creative, contemplative being

In short, pick better women

ThatBitchA · 2025-08-03T20:01:31+00:00

All the women I know and have known have hobbies and interests.

And the ADHD women I know are always trying new hobbies.

Hobbies I've seen women partake in: archery, reading, hiking, video games, coloring, painting, puzzles, history, cars, space, fitness, gardening, baking, traveling, etc.

Maybe you're just meeting boring women. They certainly exist. As do boring men. Some people are just boring. 🤷

alwaysright0 · 2025-08-03T20:07:47+00:00

You appear to be confusing personality with being autistic

Superannuated_punk · 2025-08-03T19:57:42+00:00

“Women have different hobbies to me.”

Dude - spare me talking to another dude who has no interests outside gaming/sport/gambling.

My_House_on_Mars · 2025-08-03T20:43:43+00:00

They'd match with all the guys who only talk about gaming and sports lol

Let's not pretend those hobbies are interesting lol

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-08-03T20:57:11+00:00

This is directly in contradiction to the posts that say men don’t care about women’s personalities or hobbies or achievements.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2025-08-03T22:29:39+00:00

Sounds like you only start convos with women who look a certain way and then wonder why they are so shallow.

Icyfemboy · 2025-08-03T19:55:57+00:00

Women tend to be a lot more social adept so this doesn’t really check out both if you look at studies and anecdotes. It’s men who are having a loneliness epidemic women can have social support just fine bc they’re much more sociable and easy going.

HTML_Novice · 2025-08-03T23:45:50+00:00

Typically women don’t have issues attracting men; they have issues keeping them. They’re not typically incentivized to develop these interests because it wouldn’t help them attract more men, it’ll only help them keep them once the man is attracted.

Typically the woman is so focused on filtering the man, she won’t think of what she could do to keep the man that passes the filters

surely2 · 2025-08-04T01:29:23+00:00

this is so funny because as a woman, talking to men is so incredibly boring in general, and when they’re talking “philosophy” and “deep thoughts”, it’s stuff I thought about as concepts in like, junior high school. Men really do have this hilarious superiority complex.

NowhereWorldGhost · 2025-08-03T20:52:06+00:00

You've clearly never met any women with adhd. We get a new hobby every month. I've had skating, drawing, writing, magic the gathering, sewing, ukulele, comic books, criterion collection movies, welding, karate, photography...

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2025-08-03T20:45:24+00:00

Women should be more like men.... No, Not like that.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-08-03T21:56:37+00:00

Yeah, this just straight up isn't true.

I hosted a party yesterday - had about 25 people over, several of whom were women who were friends of my wife, girlfriend/wives of friends, etc...a few of whom I'd never met before.

Had a great conversation about shotguns, .22s, gun laws, and M1 Garands with two women who work as farmers. Also had a great conversation with one about bindweed (which we have a problem with).

Another, I had a great conversation about rally racing - it's something I'd love to try doing someday, and she owns two cars and is a member at a race club. She gave me all the info I'd need to get started learning the basic skills and having some fun experiences, like a high speed ride along to get a feel for the car's handling without the cost of a 'rental and ride along with a stock car racing experience' kind of experience.

A third, I was working on getting to accompany my wife to beer league hockey games, so we could start having a cheering section. My wife would like to go more often, but the games are late, and it's not as fun for her when she's alone in the stands. A friend to go with her would be great for her - and both women expressed interest in it.

The idea that women are only into celebrity drama is just wildly out of touch.

grillopie · 2025-08-03T23:54:38+00:00

personality isnt confined to hobbies and trivia. i have one child who is obsessed with facts, geography, history, dates. and another who is pretty much devoid of any knowledge of those things, but is musical and a weird little mcguyver. you can find someone boring, but that doesnt mean they have no personality.

MC-Purp · 2025-08-03T20:15:40+00:00

I don’t know whether or not women would be more successful, and I have certainly been in the position when talking to women that you describe.

Personally, I’ve found that most people I talk to have something they “nerd out” on, both men and women. You just have to figure out what it is. Unfortunately, I think there’s a large amount of men who just aren’t interested in what a lot women are interested in.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-08-03T22:32:22+00:00

This whole rant is just insecure cope dressed up as intellectual critique.

You say women lack personality, but what you’re really upset about is that they’re not performing your version of one, niche enough to impress you, but not too independent that it challenges you. You call them superficial while unironically judging their worth based on how entertaining they are to you.

The idea that “most men” are these deep, philosophical, hobby rich beings wearing monocles and cardigans while discussing Nitzche, while women are airheads obsessed with celebrity drama is laughably biased.

Plenty of men are boring too, you just don’t notice because they’re not the ones rejecting you.

bluepvtstorm · 2025-08-03T23:01:10+00:00

Men are some of the most boring people I have ever met. They lack a basic curiosity about anything that isn’t related to them and their interests. They are severely lacking in any sort of attributes that make women want to talk to them.

Most men have the exact same hobbies and will do anything to discredit women who aren’t interested in their hobbies. Men suck at being interesting enough to even listen to. They don’t ask questions. They vomit information about things no one cares about and expect people to sit and listen to it.

I have actually timed men when they are talking and they will go 15-20 minutes without asking a single question.

Men are so slow about realizing how boring they are. They don’t have any sort of way of organically introducing their hobbies or activities into a conversation so they just blabber from the mouth and then wonder why they don’t get second dates.

This whole women don’t have personalities is a tired trope. No one wants to hear about your stupid power up on some game or some random league of losers that you belong to talking about a sport filled with the Alpha men you all want to be like.

Get over it. No one likes you Roger.

RealityCold4693 · 2025-08-03T21:47:41+00:00

having hobbies and interest is not personality treat those are things you do. It’s a difference.

VisceralSardonic · 2025-08-04T00:28:04+00:00

This is just sexism, my guy, and i don’t say that to blame or dismiss you personally. I think many men are conditioned to think that it’s not even worth talking about hobbies with women, whether the expectation is noticeable to them or not.

I’ve personally gone on many dates or been flirted with by enough guys where the guy monologues about his own interests and gets actively surprised when I get a word in edgewise and reveal my own. Women often get painted as such a dumb, blank slate that guys are taught from a young age to have conversations with us differently. She’s pretty, so she must not have much going on between the ears. Etc.

There are boring people of both genders, but I know countless women with literal dozens of hobbies, philosophical approaches to everything they encounter, who can discuss art and gaming and science and mechanics and politics and philosophy with anyone they come across. It’s not the rare, exceptional, individual woman, either. I’ve consistently found absolutely no gender difference in people being absolutely fascinating and diverse once I ask them the right questions.

If you’re expecting every woman to be boring and uninteresting, you might honestly just be striking up conversations differently in those moments, and you’re not alone in that. Try approaching a woman assuming that she has interests, because quite literally every person on this earth has to fill their time somehow. Yes, you may get people disappointing you with just a “oh I like TikTok” answer, but I truly think you’ll find that to be the exception rather than the rule if you’re open to them expanding on their own hobbies.

sublimemongrel · 2025-08-04T00:39:47+00:00

lol “most men” do these things are you nuts? Most men’s hobbies are like fishing, sports, cars or drinking. Literally fuck off with your whole men are so much more enlightened with their hobbies bullshit.

You are so biased. Sorry we don’t care about your in depth knowledge of D&D or magic the gathering.

Competitive_Lion_260 · 2025-08-03T21:54:47+00:00

Women are not boring, they are borED when you talk to them.

The rest of the post is so freaking hilarious, coming from a man..

😂😂😂

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-08-03T20:14:24+00:00

I don't think it's a personality problem. Men and women connect differently. For instance women find men superficial because they are not able to connect deeply on an emotional level

But also two men can be bored talking to each other as well as two women. Just find your person

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-08-03T20:30:58+00:00

Plenty of men don’t like talking to anyone and have little to say to the few men who they consider friends.

Deep conversations are just mental masturbation that change nothing; I’d prefer information on other people any day

Salt_Lingonberry_282 · 2025-08-04T00:22:41+00:00

You need to meet woman, not just online caricatures.

I think most men and women have different hobbies and that makes it hard to connect - if your friend only talks about relationships and mental health while you only play video games, the conversation will be surface level at best and extremely boring/argumentative at worst.

My female friends are very talkative, and have lots of interesting hobbies, just things that absolutely bore me. Like specific TV shows, nostalgia games, and social media videos. I can only entertain the conversation for so long.

Same for my male friend, except he only talks about mobile games and anime.

Once in a while I can get a deep conversation but the level of intensity isn't there. I find that more in niche online communities lol.

JadeGrapes · 2025-08-04T01:43:13+00:00

Celebrity gossip is just another word for a Fandom. You just don't care about THAT fandom.

sablesalsa · 2025-08-04T01:47:49+00:00

Yeah, maybe work on seeing women as people. This isn't a normal view to have.

AprilMaria · 2025-08-04T02:22:39+00:00

These include things such as niche hobbies,

Ok tell me why all crafts (except for metal work) & all animal breeding/showing/sport etc is COMPLETELY dominated by women? (Besides cattle, but women are better represented in breed societies than they are in the industry overall)

willingly gaining lots of knowledge in certain topics,

Try arguing materials brands & types with a crafter or talking to a gardener for 5 minutes.

engaging in deep conversations,

snort laughs says the gender who can’t even tell their best mates they are depressed or questioning something such as their sexuality.

thinking philosophically.

Ah yes because ye are all philosophers. I spend half my time explaining the most basic political concepts to men.

They'll be more focused on superficial things like celebrity drama.

gestures to ALL sports & the scope of their dedicated reporting on the most asinine aspects of it

And even when they are interested in superficial hobbies, they don't even attempt to understand them deeply

See above.

Most men do these things.

No most men spend their time trying to be mean to strangers enjoying themselves on instagram & TikTok in order to feel like a man & drinking lukewarm piss water beers while staring a sports fixture they may not even fully understand.

They have nerdy interests,

No, nerds have nerdy interests & shit like anime & sci-fi have been completely successfully mainstreamed. My 72 year old mother watches Star Trek, for example.

knowledge about so many things,

Not usually unless they are getting paid for it or they, like myself, are neurodivergent

like to debate philosophy etc.

This is by far the funniest one to me. I debate men constantly, some of it is part of my position in the political organisation im part of. They all think they can debate, I have remained undefeated for 3 years straight. At times I was doing 2 per week.

Any man knows this.

We are all well aware ye believe yer own hype.

You can talk to any man in public and you will always enjoy the conversation.

That is far from a universal experience

Even if it's about something like sports, men will still be passionate about it and have things to say.

So will women, it’s just you don’t value anything women have to say anyway. There is 0 difference between celebrity gossip & anything surrounding sports from the spectators position. Things like makeup & fashion are far more skilled & technical. It’s quite apparent you’ve just categorised anything female focused into a negative category by virtue of association with women. I say that as a woman who wears makeup only a couple of times a month at best, has no idea who most celebrities are (or sports people either) & who’s main interests are agriculture, politics & history.

petellapain · 2025-08-03T20:05:55+00:00

Developing a cool personality won't increase the number of tall hot wealthy monogamous men who only want these women. What women want will still be out of reach

Itsjihoonsfaultt · 2025-08-03T22:55:41+00:00

You mean some women. Not all women lack personality

Exciting_Baseball982 · 2025-08-03T20:03:40+00:00

Women don’t need deep personalities to get partners men reward looks over intellect every time.The same guys complaining about "boring women" still swipe on IG models, not philosophers.

If men truly valued personality, the "nerdy, passionate" guys wouldn’t be invisible. But they are. Because attraction isn't fair

Women optimize for what works. Men do too. Stop pretending this is about "depth" it’s about leverage

TempDong · 2025-08-03T22:23:54+00:00

I think I agree. I can't speak for guys, but the women I've gone on dates with do nothing. Job -> rot in apartment -> repeat and then they spend a portion of the date talking about how busy they are.

That's why the classic suggestion of "go join a hobby group" never works for finding a partner, most social hobbies are completely male dominated. Book clubs, Pilates, and dance seem to be the only ones that are majority young women and even then the women don't really make new friends doing them (speaking from what my female friends have told me). They either go with their friends or just clock in / clock out essentially, they never interact outside of that context.

It is part of the reason women are always trying to leech off male hobbies, they don't do anything interesting themselves. Think about any hobby that got super popular recently. You don't see an influx of guys starting pilates, but you do see an influx of girls getting into anime because they get a ton of male attention and it can be interesting (not that I really watch it).

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Superb-Foundations · 2025-08-04T02:36:03+00:00

Is this just a black pill incel group now? I love shitting on women and talking about how awful they are. Everything is women's fault. I have no clue why women won't touch me with a 10 foot pole! It couldn't be because I obviously dont like them. Wah. Male loneliness epidemic.

GrouchNslouch777 · 2025-08-03T20:00:09+00:00

Not really.

They'd have less trouble if they were just more feminine kind and submissive.

Hoopy223 · 2025-08-03T21:47:03+00:00

OP, ummmmm……

For whatever reason our current neolib society has decided that men and women are exactly the same and that the lack of women in male nerd circles is sexism etc. As if no women in your local RC hobby plane club is sexism and patriarchy lol.

You cannot expect a woman to have the same interests as a man. It’s like when women complain about their boyfriend doing “man stuff”. He’s a guy what do you expect.

I’d rather date a woman with girly interests who can tell me what’s popular while I tell her about the history of Roman aqueducts than someone with the exact same hobbies.

And sometimes it’s nice to have someone you can just “be” with and not worry about shit.

Title	Women would have less trouble finding partners if more women had personalities
Author	yorku_eecs_textbooks
Upvotes	12
Comments	134
Date	August 3, 2025 3:26 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1mgm1qp/women_would_have_less_trouble_finding_partners_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-would-have-less-trouble-finding-partners-if.1558811 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558811

Comments

Women are not boring, they are borED when you talk to them.