I have had a string of low effort gifts from my boyfriend of ~year. I made excuses for him (he just doesn’t know me well enough, this holiday isn’t a big deal anyways, etc)
On my birthday he said he was going to gift me a professional massage. This was a week before COVID lockdowns, so I never actually got that gift. He didn’t schedule it. Massage Therapists were open for a period time after lockdown, but he still didn’t follow through. My excuse was that he was being cautious and didn’t want to potentially expose me to the virus.. but this was like 9 months ago and there was never a replacement gift.
On our 1 year I got lingerie. It was nice and honestly I thought it was cute that he went out of his way to go into a lingerie store by himself to pick it out for me, I realize it’s not the most comfortable situation for a guy. But at the same time lingerie is mostly a gift for him.
My “Christmas gift” that I “received” yesterday was the last straw and I broke up with him. I’m leaving the state for a year in a few days, so his gift to me would be a flight ticket to where I’m living next month along with an activity. Yes it was that vague. No, there are no plans in place. He hasn’t picked out an activity. No, there isn’t a ticket booked. He didn’t even remember where I was moving to, despite me talking about this constantly for the past 2 months. He thought I was moving to a city that is 3 hours from where I’m actually moving.
The best part is that his gift to himself this year was a $2,000 golf simulator.
These are only examples of how he has treated me on special days, so you can imagine what a majority of our relationship looks like. I wouldn’t say he has treated me bad, but it has been pretty lackluster. I can’t believe this is someone that supposedly loves me.
No more low effort. I should have left the first time time he failed to give me a proper birthday gift. I’m going to work on myself and my self esteem, because there is absolutely no reason I should have accepted any of this. I don’t know why there was a part of me that felt this was all I deserved, but I need to figure it out.
I’m not even sad about the breakup because I’m mostly looking forward to leveling up.
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