Please alert your fellow woman!

7_0f_9 · 2020-01-20T14:13:39+00:00

I hate that we all have stories of trying to tell a woman their man cheated and how it backfired. Women don't value themselves. They're scared of being alone. We need to teach girls a relationship is not the ultimate goal. And we need to do it through our actions, not our words.

pacachan · 2020-01-20T15:27:13+00:00

One time, I was duped into thinking I was some guy's girlfriend.. for over 6 months. He even made it "facebook official", met my parents, went on a vacation with me, talked to me daily, supported me, everything. And he had a girlfriend that he had a child with. When I told her the truth on the phone, she just went "oh, again?". She apologized to me for his behavior and explained she is "stuck with him". She made him get on the phone and apologize to me, like he was her naughty child or something, it was fucking bizarre. Then less than a week later HE CONTACTED ME and tried to claim it was all a misunderstanding and tried to get back together with me. I blocked him. I read over a year later from a newspaper announcement that they had another child together. Sometimes you do what you can but some people just want to live like that, I guess.

understatedalways · 2020-01-20T12:44:35+00:00

It seems good in theory. However, I’ve told a woman her fiance was cheating on her and included all the screenshots of the texts he’d sent me. I was trying to be nice and it backfired. I was labeled “crazy” and she wanted to kill me. Of course her man would never cheat.

wearekinetic · 2020-01-20T15:24:25+00:00

I WISH this worked. Ugh my ex boyfriend FROM HIGH SCHOOL’s baby mama messaged me asking who I was and why he had tried to add me on social media. Little did she know that I wanted NOTHING to do with him and he had been the one harassing me for years. He’d cheated on me and literally had me drive him unknowingly to another girl’s house. When I dumped him, I blocked his number. He’d call me from random numbers threatening me and try to reach out every few months for YEARS after to get my attention. Dude never got over his fuck up.

I told the chick straight up that he’s a cheater and he’s probably cheating on her, but definitely not with me. I even sent a screenshot of his tinder one of my friends had seen the week before. She just got angry, accused me of being jealous and wanting to ruin his life.

I haven’t seen the guy since 2012. She followed me on Instagram a few weeks ago and watches all my stories. I still want NOTHING to do with him. I just wanna be like GIRL LOVE YOURSELF AND LEAVE HIM!!! like stop misdirecting your anger and hurt towards other women 😩

7_0f_9 · 2020-01-20T15:04:44+00:00

[deleted]

husheveryone · 2020-01-20T14:15:32+00:00

This is what fake email was made for! Send the proof, do not give your name.

WhoNeedsTears · 2020-01-20T13:16:12+00:00

My ex's side piece told me when he cheated. I mean, it wasn't really out of the goodness of her heart. They'd been fucking for months, and she asked him to leave me for her so he blocked and ghosted her thinking the whole thing would go away, she got pissed and decided to tell me. But even then I'm still grateful she told me. Saved me from a fuckboy.

And of course after I dumped him, this low self esteem pickme STILL talks to him. 😂

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2020-01-20T15:13:02+00:00

I once saw a picture in my “people you may know” of a women with a guy I had been on a few dates with and had sex with (pre FDS). It was clear from her profile that she was in a relationship with him and I was the side chick. I reached out to her with screenshots and everything and she sent “😂😂😂” then blocked me. I’m still gonna try but like, really? Why would I make up getting played?

indytwinsmom · 2020-01-20T16:46:28+00:00

Yes, it can backfire. But do it anyway. Its the right thing to do. I wish just one woman would have come forward and told me about my ex... Cowards.

2020-01-20T15:17:54+00:00

Always report it anonymously.

morningbryd · 2020-01-20T13:21:48+00:00

A lot of girls haven’t believed me, and I get in the middle of both parties being really nasty to me. But you shouldn’t just tell the truth because you’ll be treated kindly, you should tell the truth because it’s the right thing. I am genuinely happy I told the truth but it broke a lot of friendships. Now I believe truly that if a guy is cheating on me, someone will also let me know, because karma and all that.

ldid · 2020-01-20T13:40:13+00:00

I once caught my best friends cousins bf of 7 years (they lived together but weren't engaged) grinding on and kissing another girl in a bar. I had photos and video. I sent it all to her because I believed it would be the right thing to do. She didn't believe me, downplayed it like oh he does dumb stuff when he's wasted. Then I got a call from a number I didn't know. It was the cheating guy who told me to call his gf and tell her I didn't see what I saw. I straight up said to him "no, I'm not going to lie about what I saw. This is between you two now. I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen." they stayed together and he proposed three months later....

Edit: oh and she stopped talking to me, blocked me on social media, and up until that point were were acquaintances and friendly to each other because my best friend is her cousin.

aclumsygirl · 2020-01-20T17:18:01+00:00

I'm always happy to do it. It doesn't matter to me what she does with the info. If she wants to get pissed or psycho or deny it or debase herself by staying with him.... it's not my problem. I did my part. 🤷‍♀️

serenitychick · 2020-01-20T17:23:12+00:00

Fuck that. Tell her best friend. The gf will lie to herself and stay with the man. Her best friend should burn the world down getting through to her.

ms_monquis · 2020-01-20T19:04:51+00:00

More of us will start doing this when we stop looking at each other as competition.

If he’s sliding in your DMs, you’re not winning anything, sis. It doesn’t prove you’re hotter, it proves he’s a piece of shit. Why not air that out and refuse to participate?

And if she takes it poorly? Cool, one fewer trash person for you to deal with. But maintain your standards. It’s better for all of us...eventually. :)

7_0f_9 · 2020-01-20T14:15:06+00:00

I usually don't boterh telling because the woman will almost always side with the dude. I once told this one woman that her husband was sending me unsolicited photos of him doing her from behind. She didn't even respond to me and went on to marry him and have a baby. Pickmeisha to the core. I figure why bother. If she cares she'll figure it out on her own.

azzyh4 · 2020-01-20T14:54:06+00:00

This backfires every time. The woman will always believe the man. I let a girl know recently that her boyfriend was talking about cheating on her in our class and I also had a screenshot of someone mentioning that he actually DID cheat and she immediately deemed me as jealous and unstable.

Liz_Lemondrop · 2020-01-20T20:50:10+00:00

I do this 100% of the time and thanks to being a woman raised by the internet, my sleuthing skills are 5000.

I've told so many women that their husbands/boyfriends are cheating. And I live in a decently small city so finding these lowlifes is not that hard. Often their SO's are hurt and sad but grateful to know. And then there's the crazy bitch that blames ME for their dude being on tinder. Like okay lady.

If I were being cheated on, I would want to know. We have to look out for one another.

Skittleschild02 · 2020-01-20T13:35:35+00:00

Not in the real world. Most women will side with their men. They’ll come up with all types of excuses for him. All receipts prove to her that she has competition and better step her “A” game.

Meanwhile, the guy will either sit back and bask in the glory having two women fight over him. Or worst, it will drive him to go insane & kill the side piece.

Instead of snitching, start blocking & stop talking. It’s safer option. We had one girl in my area try to expose a guy and he ended up killing her.

CuriousCatNYC777 · 2020-01-20T18:08:38+00:00

TELL HER. This is one of the biggest games LVM (posing as HVM) run.

They don’t publicly “like” girls pictures on Instagram, but they slide into their DMs. Their girlfriend mistakenly think their guys aren’t into social media. FALSE.

meezapizza · 2020-01-20T13:17:58+00:00

Yeah but most chicks are blind in love

Jestresso · 2020-01-20T15:10:34+00:00

If the cunt who my boyfriend cheated with would have told me, she could've saved a pregnancy and many months of my life. Fucking tell the truth.

gawiya · 2020-01-20T16:18:19+00:00

Umm I don’t think this can be applied to everyone. I had a situation where a guy in his 30s with a girlfriend and daughter ask me to “hit him up when I’m 18”. I found his girlfriends Facebook and wanted to tell her, but after scrolling through her profile, I found that at least 50% of her posts were about him and how he’s the best guy ever, some making fun of other women who get cheated on because her man would never do such a thing. She was also ghetto af so I saved myself the delusional outburst/possible consequences and watched. Couple months later and he posts about how he “lost the best girl and he embarrassed her in front of everyone” 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lesson: please don’t be delusional girls it just makes you look like an idiot ESP if he’s a LVM

VivaLaSea · 2020-01-20T21:57:37+00:00

Half the time they don’t even believe you. My step brother was cheating on his then girlfriend for weeks, bringing the side piece to family gatherings and having her spend the night. I pulled his girlfriend aside one day and let her know everything and her dumbass didn’t believe me 🤷‍♀️. He’s now married to the side piece and they have 3 kids 😂

scaredscaredgoaway · 2020-01-20T23:17:19+00:00

To this day, one of my biggest regrets is not telling a woman that her boyfriend lied to me about being single in order to pursue me. It was just before moving out of state together, too.

He claimed he told her, and that she "almost broke up" with him because of it, but given his track record, I have no reason to believe him.

I was told by his former bandmate that they were engaged. That was 2 years ago, and I'm not sure if they ever actually got married.

I still wish I'd told her myself. I didn't know her in person at all, but I'd typed out a message to send her on social media, never sent. I'm sure even if he did tell her, he probably tried to frame it like I'm some meddler who seduced him. Because, to quote the HBO program Sharp Objects, "My mama says all history is written by men. So of course they're going to make themselves look good."

Amy, if you're out there, I hope you've learned: we BOTH deserved better.

hanscons · 2020-01-20T15:35:58+00:00

actually the best advice is to not get involved at all. my roommate did this exact thing, and the girlfriend got mad and blamed her w lots of threats, her tires were 'mysteriously' slashed 2 days later.

Thereismorethanthis · 2020-01-20T14:07:35+00:00

I tried to tell someone once and just got accused of being jealous so

VelvetKnuckleduster · 2020-01-20T17:04:05+00:00

I've done this twice and both times they didn't believe me and just told the guys straight away. One of them got straight on my case, the other got a bunch of friends to lie to cover his ass and label me a whore and a troublemaker.

If I knew something about a friend's boyfriend I'd tell her, but wouldn't do it for a stranger again. Too unpredictable.

Jumpingonair · 2020-01-20T18:03:01+00:00

Every time I have, the girl ends up getting mad at ME. Every. time. I decided I would stay out of it after a bad third experience.

RegularAnybody · 2020-01-20T23:02:00+00:00

Honestly, the only reason to do this is for moral reasons, because it almost never works. I've seen both men and women being informed that their significant other is cheating on them and they've always sided with the cheater while the person who "told on them" is demonized. Many people are completely irrational when it comes to things like this. Would I want to be told if this was happening to me? Yes, because the faster I find out, the faster I can ditch their ass. However, our mindset is not common at all and most people will just try to ruin your reputation because they can't handle reality.

ETA: just to clarify, I'm not saying they shouldn't be told, I'm just saying if you do then be prepared for the high possibility of backlash.

Queencake504 · 2020-01-20T16:44:14+00:00

From my experience ,i was immediately labeled a "hater" because i was "mad " I was "lonely" and "didnt have a man" .This was from a person who i thought was a best friend by the way. Thats why when it comes to other people's relationship matters i mind my own🤷🏾

WestAtmosphere · 2020-01-20T19:05:23+00:00

I think you either are a person who is going to accept the advice or won’t accept it.

Many women are on the team of that their man can do no wrong and it’s always the other woman’s fault.

I’ve had this happen to me before where I was out, a guy was hitting on me, so we ended up dancing etc at the bar, turns out he had a gf. Guess who got the flack for it? ME. I had 0 idea and didn’t know the gf at all! Needless to say she popped off on me on social media and stayed with her bf. I felt awful but truly it wasn’t my fault.

And I have been approached before with a woman telling me that my abusive ex was chatting her up again, as soon as I tried to break up with him he went to try and get his narcissistic fix from her. I actually did believe her, by this point in the relationship I knew he was toxic, but it took me about 10 attempts before I had the courage to leave, go no contact, and get into therapy. I’m sure his other ex knew how manipulating he was and was just trying to look out for me which I do appreciate.

2020-01-20T21:26:33+00:00

Yes. What happens to one of my sisters happens to me

This_n_that01 · 2020-01-20T22:44:47+00:00

One of my good friends bf has been busted on dating apps I think 5 times now (my bestie is single so she finds him and sends me screenshots). I've told her every single time but she still stays with him 🙁

buffysummerrs · 2020-01-21T03:44:25+00:00

Yup. The classic if he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you.

Would you want to be the idiot who takes pictures with your boyfriend, posting up lovey-dovey stuff, while all the girls around you are snickering because they know the truth? No. And girls need to ask themselves this!

It’s the fact that girls can’t put themselves in others shoes. Surprisingly men WILL tell other dudes “Yo, your girl is messaging me just so you know.” Men have a bro-code... women need a code too.

HesterLePrynne · 2020-01-20T20:36:03+00:00

Idk you have to pick your battles wisely. I met a guy at a training, we hung out the entire time and talked everyday afterwards. Literally would fall asleep on the phone, made future plans, etc. He was set to deploy shortly.

Well one day his wife calls. She was rightfully upset.... but with ME. I told her the truth, I knew he had a daughter but never mentioned a wife. Obviously (fuck I look like). Yes we’ve kissed (that was all), yes we’ve been on dates. Crazy wife wouldn’t stop calling and cursing me out.

Eventually I had enough and contacted his ass in Iraq and told him to tell his wife to stop harassing me before I get the police involved. Never heard from her again.

scaredscaredgoaway · 2020-01-20T23:08:19+00:00

I actually lost my best friend of 6+ years because her boyfriend was swiping yes to girls on Tinder (one of whom was my friend, whom they'd both met at an event I was speaking at).

I calmly and sensitively told her what happened. My friend sent her the screenshot, too. She gave some overly cool response to my friend saying, "Thank you for letting me know". Then, she called me back up saying how it "couldn't possibly be true" because she supposedly took his phone and looked through it and he said he wasn't using Tinder anymore. She literally refused to believe the evidence presented directly to her because he's rich and that, to her, is the only quality apparently that she thinks is HVM.

She deleted me a couple weeks later on social media. Same to my friend. This, after we were like sisters for years. For an ugly guy she'd known for less than six months who she was already badgering to go to couples counseling with her (😒) because he wouldn't tell her he loved her back.

They are still together. Glad she at least has her priorities straight, though. /s

africantheindian · 2020-01-20T16:28:29+00:00

And we cannot stress this enough!! Don't be that girl.

Savage_Nymph · 2020-01-20T20:18:12+00:00

I only do this for my closest of friends. A lot of the time(like 8/10 just pulling stats out of my ass) the girl knows and either A) don’t care or B) in denial.

They end up hating you for being the messenger and bring up shit they have been trying to ignore

marcelleines2 · 2020-01-20T22:50:11+00:00

I have always done

WandererOfInterwebs · 2020-01-21T00:17:03+00:00

I did this recently even though the guy is a good friend. He was fucking up too much, treating her poorly. And he had introduced her to us as someone he loved and cherished and wanted to marry. He said “this is a woman respect and I want you to respect her too.” So I did, and I do and she deserved to know the truth.

He was awful to her in other ways but of course she misses him and kind of wants him back. I told her whenever she feels like calling him to call me instead.

He isn’t even upset with me because he knows it’s all his fault.

Datonecatladyukno · 2020-01-21T03:19:37+00:00

Sometimes telling the truth is like yelling into the void.

cherriesandmilk · 2020-01-21T03:41:57+00:00

Whenever I tell a woman about her man, it always backfires on me. Now I honestly just let it play itself out.

kfm415 · 2020-02-09T05:23:21+00:00

What if she’s expecting a child in a couple weeks? When is the right time to tell her?

Lekina55 · 2020-01-20T19:43:01+00:00

Men wouldn’t cheat if women weren’t willing. (I understand being duped but there are ALWAYS red flags we choose to ignore. Guilty myself.) Told a friend once. Lost the friend. And other friends. So now, if their having sex right in front of me I’m deaf, dumb, and blind.

africantheindian · 2020-01-20T16:27:51+00:00

And we cannot stress this enough!!! Don't be that girl

deadlylittlething · 2020-01-20T22:30:32+00:00

So, when I was younger, I had been casually seeing a guy. It was nothing serious to either of us but I also wouldn't have been interested if I knew he had a girlfriend. One day I'm walking through my apartment complex and a woman comes up to me with her friends and asks if I'm sleeping with her boyfriend- actually her baby's father. When she tells me his name, I tell her I had no idea about her. She wanted to fight me, she was acting very ghetto throughout the entire exchange and at that point, started taking her earrings out and repeating "square up". I did not want to fight her over some guy I couldn't care less for but she threw the first punch. After that, it was simply out of defense. Of course once she and her friends realized that she bit off more than she could chew with me, her friends decided to jump in and I ended up on the ground, being kicked by the four of them. Someone saw what was happening and yelled that they had called the police and they all took off. I'm not sure when or how it would of ended if that person hadn't done so.

All that being said, yes tell a girl her boyfriend/husband is cheating, but do so safely. Some women do crazy fucking things over men who aren't worth it.

SaraBear250 · 2020-01-21T02:32:43+00:00

I could not agree more... girls we gotta look out for each other!

2020-01-21T08:47:22+00:00

THANK YOU. Rat him out.

AgentSalamander · 2020-02-01T03:34:53+00:00

It would be a lot harder for men to cheat if we told each other if their man tried to get it with you.

aintmissbehaven · 2020-01-20T20:41:44+00:00

Nah I just stay out of it. Period.

prudenceneverpays · 2020-01-20T19:57:50+00:00

This actually happened to me like last week!! A guy from my high school visited the city in which I go to college now which is about 2 hours away, and created a Tinder with a fake name but his pictures. Saying that he was visiting for the week and such. Well I was in shock when I saw him because I know his girlfriend. The second thought that came to my mind is that maybe they broke up. So I check both their instas and they still are seemingly together, plus he’s using a fake name so he’s obviously being shady. So I sent him the incriminating screenshots and told him to send me $50 or id tell his girlfriend. He sent it right away. And then I told his girlfriend lol (They’re still together by the way -___-)

2020-02-28T20:53:21+00:00

I'm sensitive and they (understandably) get angry when you do this and it takes a toll on me to go through so often (lots of men are cheating!!!!). I thought about doing it from a google voice number (via text still) but that seems so shady.

bondwoman44 · 2020-04-12T09:15:13+00:00

But then you hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone like that :(

SaraBear250 · 2020-05-10T09:32:23+00:00

I COULD NOT AGREE MORE

bobodacious_ · 2020-01-22T07:56:35+00:00

What about if you have been having an affair with him? Ive been sleeping with my housemare for 9 months. It's very complicated, he had a long distance girlfriend, but always talks about breaking up with her. His intentions were always very unclear. I finally decided to end it, and am not interested in any kind of future with him, so I asked him to move out. He then decided he was goi g to move states to give his long distabce relationship a 'real go' after 2 years. Thing is, all of his friends and family know about this affair, and are lying to this girl. I want to tell her so she has the information to make decisions on her relationship... I just dont know if I should...

Title	Please alert your fellow woman!
Author	PinkPilledDemon
Upvotes	4494
Comments	192
Date	January 20, 2020 12:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/erckwp/please_alert_your_fellow_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/please-alert-your-fellow-woman.684423 https://theredarchive.com/post/684423

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