Women outside of this sphere, discuss "What it is like to "date a Red Pill Man" Let's try it here.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-01-24T20:51:04+00:00

I know two TRP men IRL. Both of them I had pegged for TRPers long before they admitted it

They both have seething anger and massive amounts of insecurity just dripping from their pores. One of them kinda got over it (his issues were more related to race, and wanting a white girl - he ended up married to a divorced mother of 2 or 3, and has calmed down a lot), but the other is never, ever, ever going to be happy in a relationship. He’ll be bitter and miserable for the rest of his life, blaming women for every one of his own failings

LittyKitsune · 2021-01-24T21:48:52+00:00

Interestingly enough, dating a guy who was possibly RP is what got me into the pill stuff. The entire reason I started lurking the sub was to try and make sense of the stuff he did, and avoid getting into that kind of relationship again in the future.

Basically, he kept trying to manipulate me into sex even after I kept telling him it fundamentally went against everything I believed. I saw asktrp threads that basically asked questions about how to deal with girls like me (alleged unicorns), and the kind of advice given was the stuff he tried to use on me. Withdrawing attention, dread, stfu, lift, basically the greatest hits. I was just kind of oblivious to it all though since I didn't have much experience with dating, and the guys I had dated were virgins and more devoutly religious. In response to the withdrawing I would text him things like "I know you're busy with work, good luck! :-)", if he talked about other girls I would just compliment them or say things like she reminded me of one of my friends from high school, if he stfu'ed I would hum church hymns and Disney songs to myself (my dad has always been a quiet person so it didn't really phase me), I'd compliment his results from the gym but ask him if he really needed to show off on social media like that or send me snaps with his shirt off.

I think after a certain point I unintentionally drove him crazy and he gave me a direct ultimatum. I honestly wish he would have just followed all the way through and nexted me, but I guess he wanted to try to keep me around on his terms. I cut contact on all platforms on reflex and then spent the next few weeks confused and upset and trying to figure out what had happened. My friends and family weren't helpful; they just said stuff like "I deserve better", he was a jerk, someone else would come along.

I wasn't satisfied with that so I started searching online, and that's when I found Reddit, specifically the RP subs. The behaviors, the things I didn't get about him, the "quirks" I overlooked started to make sense. Honestly, I don't care if he actually read RP or not, reading that stuff and how people like him might think has helped me exponentially. I couldn't continue on being naive like that. I've also been able to help my friends (in one case her boyfriend started behaving weirdly towards her and following a manosphere page on Facebook and she didn't get what any of it meant or what he was saying). So all in all, I don't regret finding it. I do regret not knowing sooner.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-01-24T21:25:58+00:00

Like others have said, I wouldn't date a TRP man either. Just drastically different values.

I think the easiest way to spot them is when they use the lingo unironically.

superlurkage · 2021-01-24T21:15:10+00:00

The men here: “Those weren’t real red pillers! They also weren’t alpha enough! Red pill is about benefiting everyone, like communism! Also, we don’t believe in relationships/morality!”

Competitive_Pen2282 · 2021-01-24T22:06:39+00:00

I only can assume that dating trp would be terrible and its easy enough to spot and avoid them by maintaining healthy boundaries. I pretty much sure I encountered one or two who performed similar behaviour what trp preach.

TheNextFeynman · 2021-01-25T00:40:12+00:00

I had a situation where the guy used ‘amused mastery’ and ‘agree and amplify.’ Basically being cute when you know you’ve pissed someone off, which defused nothing and just forced me to stuff my rage til it all came out at once. There were other things, too, that seemed to come from the playbooks TRP curated from that my male friends discussed as effective manipulations they’d learned from experience or read.

I knew the psychology behind it, like oh it’s going to be like this now, and I knew I was in for a power struggle if I didn’t walk.

The word Chad for a special kind of douchebag always existed, and I dropped it in conversation and I swear the blood drained from his face. He had told me he didn’t lose his virginity til college so I would not have been shocked at all if he was into some ur-TRP like Strauss or whatever.

Also bought a boyfriend The Complete Assholes Guide to Handling Chicks after I saw it advertised in Maxim as an ironic cool girl joke. He started using it as a manual.

sublimemongrel · 2021-01-24T20:56:43+00:00

I cannot imagine dating a man who follows TRP. As much as they say “you wouldn’t know”, I don’t know how anyone couldn’t unless he was straight up lying and pretending.

The men I dated made me feel loved, secure, like they wanted to spend time with me and like we were both providing value to each other. They did not make me feel like I had to constantly earn their commitment/affection or like I had to forever prove myself worthy. We just liked each other and had mutual respect.

They did not act like they were “the prize” ie, I was merely lucky to have them, they did not float around the idea of sleeping with other women, they did not withhold affection or commitment to like keep me in shape.

They respected boundaries as I respected theirs. Idk just felt a lot more mutual than what I would except from a man who follows TRP. You don’t have to follow TRP to have boundaries and like not get walked all over by other people, including the women you date.

SaBahRub · 2021-01-24T20:49:02+00:00

That is an awesome post, thanks for linking !

athrowaway283222 · 2021-01-25T05:16:48+00:00

I just continue to date men that TRP consider “simps” and I’m safe.

Weirdly enough there are more than enough attractive, tall and wealthy simps to go around. Never had a problem getting into long term committed happy relationships with men who loved to treat me well and loved being adore by me in turn.

Apparently waiting to have sex, paying for dates, being attentive honest and respectful makes a man a simp these days. Lol meanwhile all my bfs single struggling RP friends are hate fucking the chubby girls and raging online all day cause “Stacy” is repulsed by them.

lestratege · 2021-01-24T23:20:11+00:00

The more I got to know my ex, the quicker I broke things off with him

Did not matter, he had sex.

TRP is for having sex first and foremost. Even when about relationships it's about relationships with sex.

So where you see a failure of TRP because you broke off with your ex, it can be seen as a success because you had sex with him anyway.

It's a question of comparison: you compare breaking up with staying together and consider it a failure while you should compare it with not being together at all.

Drakane1 · 2021-01-24T22:36:38+00:00

the entire thread is just women saying every men they didnt date and thought were creepy and weird is rp. with a bit of simps saying shit like i respect women thats why they date me. the entire thing is dumb. first comments is talking about 30 years ago when trp didnt fucking exist. shit was dumb

trueorfalsedmitry · 2021-01-24T20:33:28+00:00

I think the fact that he is your ex likely means RP worked just fine for him.

catfishmasc · 2021-01-24T21:38:07+00:00

[deleted]

JohnDoe9564 · 2021-01-24T20:40:19+00:00

It's nearly impossible to spot one in the wild.

Most of those comments assumed all those abusive men were RP, when in reality they come in all shapes and pill colors.

BitchesMakeMeSick · 2021-01-24T21:49:22+00:00

I really don't think women can spot shit if their life depended on it.

TRP will tell you:

get fit as fuck
don't self destroy yourself by marriage
stay far away from single mothers
get abundance and so on...

Then here comes miss psychology-degree with her big brain take on how that fat guy who married a single mom after 4 months of meeting her is the ultimate TRP believer because he calls women bitches that belong in the kitchen. Ain't nobody fooling her with that negging!

newacc586 · 2021-01-25T03:46:45+00:00

Come on. This post is ridiculous.

What is the first rule of TRP? "Don't talk about TRP."

What is the 38th Law of Power? "Think as you like but do as others do" (sidebar)

Literally, by definition, if you know a man is RP he's not good at being RP. Being that the philosophy attracts men who, you know, weren't good with women when they found it... yeah, why would anybody be expecting to meet anybody who was openly RP and wasn't terrible in some regard?

I always give the same anecdote. You would never, ever, ever know I was RP in real life. Ever. I would just seem like a normal guy with an attractive LTR, and some friends, and a job.

You know who I've met that openly is RP and asks me for advice?

A really awkward 5'5 Asian dude who talks about TRP all the time.

So, between the two of us, who is going to become "the face of TRPers irl?" It's certainly not going to be me.

But we're both RP anyways. I am just better at it.

TheLotusLover · 2021-01-24T20:53:33+00:00

Just chicks complaining about dudes doing exatclty what they want to do, fuck and withhold commitment. This is like a recruitment poster for RP

poppy_blu · 2021-01-24T20:33:03+00:00

You have to specify: a RPed man versus a TRP.

rft24 · 2021-01-25T02:27:59+00:00

as some have mentioned, there’s definitely a difference between being red pilled and subscribing to trp or using their strategies. trp strategies are very unattractive when it comes to ltr’s, but they know this and they don’t care because their goal is to improve their sex lives (more sex) not get relationships with high quality women.

i agree though, the most masculine men i’ve met (like naturally masculine, it’s not forced or overtly macho) tend to be less dramatic and one sided. i think part of what makes them charming is that they seek to understand a perspective other than their own, which is what helps them do well with women. they make an effort to understand us more and understand what we want more, but they make an effort to look at it from our perspective rather than trying to understand it from their perspective. that, and they also tend to have much better emotional control/higher eq’s than a lot of the guys in the manosphere.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-01-25T04:29:22+00:00

This topic needs more nuance. It seems best provided by an analogy to feminism.

While I do not believe it is accurate to look at history as being one of constant oppression of women by a male patriarchy, I do believe that society had definitely gone too far in terms of failing to recognize the capabilities of women. Things had gone beyond the area of legitimate discussion about appropriate gender roles: society had become factually wrong about the capabilities of females.

As a response to this, Feminism comes along seeking to rectify this mistake. It does correct this mistaken thinking, but it also goes too far, making factual mistakes of its own. As a result, many men think they would hate to date a 'feminist'. But in reality, there is a wide variety of women who would call themselves feminists, and they are not all equal believers in feminism's excesses. Furthermore, there are many women who reject the label due to these excesses, but still have benefited a great deal from feminism.

Obviously, TRP is not on the scale of feminism. However, it follows the same pattern. It's original motivation is to correct inaccuracies in male thinking about women. It has gone too far in many respects, but it is doing some good work in undoing a lot of incorrect thinking about female nature. A true TRP zealot is about as unbalanced and undesirable as a hardline feminist, but there are lots of people benefiting to one degree or another from TRP that make better partners than they would have without it.

superwaluigiworld2 · 2021-01-25T08:48:44+00:00

I think what you’re saying makes a lot of sense. Many RP men have internalized the idea that rejection was an existential threat to their identity. There’s a lot of cultural messaging that reinforces that men are only as valuable as they are able to sleep with women, but your more “natural” kind of guy, having at least some kind of friend/family support system and having been taught at least decent emotional maintenance skills, is able to handle rejection enough to learn what works with women by trial and error.

But for some men who don’t have those things to fall back on, the idea of dating is totally overshadowed by the fear of rejection and therefore the man’s own worthlessness. They still want the connection of sex and dating but they can only approach that world armed with TRP strategies (“scripts”) which promise to minimize the sting of rejection by a) making it less likely through interpersonal manipulation, b) making any one rejection insignificant by making it only one of hundreds of meaningless approaches, and/or c) using misogyny to act like women’s attention actually didn’t mean anything real in the first place.

Sometimes TRP even delivers on its promises of minimizing painful rejection, but it never addresses the root cause of why rejection felt so existentially dangerous in the first place. And ultimately, I don’t think it leads to many happy, healthy people — just anger.

heaven-sent · 2021-01-25T17:39:53+00:00

I once had a guy neg/pull what I suspect were red pill tactics through FB messages, it was really odd and honestly made me laugh. He was kind of on the outskirts of my friend group (I don’t think he had many “real” friends), that was how I originally met him. He randomly messaged me and invited me to some kind of event at a bar while also putting me down. I told him I had a boyfriend and he told me to bring him while once again putting me down. It was such an odd exchange but I recognized the negging immediately. I was almost going to call him out on it but it was so low on my priority list that I’m pretty sure I just never ever responded to him, haha. Obviously I never went out with or dated this person because the way he communicated with me was so odd and toxic.

mannyso · 2021-01-24T23:05:53+00:00

Most of the men I know who have an abundant dating life are red pilled. Some use the lingo others don’t but they all have the same inclinations. Many of them are currently in or have been in loving long-term relationships (including myself).

People are variable but certain characteristics generally work for attraction. The problem is that the comments go overboard with misogyny and weird pseudo science/apocalyptic narratives but the men saying these things are not the normal red-pilled individual.

It’s actually really interesting how mainstream red-pill ideology has become. Just this morning I saw a meme on a popular Instagram account with hundreds of comments using the wordage commonly found on ppd. This was a fitness account so most of the individuals were very fit/healthy, a far cry from the incel neckbeard that the people presume Reddit attracts.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-01-24T22:33:17+00:00

TwoX is a feminist cesspool of insecurity. Not sure if there's much to be gained from the people who post in there.

catfishmasc · 2021-01-24T23:01:24+00:00

A lot of sexually successful men are naturally red pilled

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-01-25T02:20:06+00:00

Natural "RP" I never had a problem with. The fake ones always were repulsive.

jdobrila · 2021-01-25T06:57:12+00:00

So incels are right and there is no way out. Everything was decided the day you were born.

throw-away-1709 · 2021-01-24T23:31:56+00:00

Core question here is - what is a RP guy?

I am a RP guy - if you judge this from the point that i know and live RP style.

But i've been born natural alpha and i am tall and big frame

I don't need to interrupt - i set the rules where i am.

If you see RP guys as 'fake alphas' i am with you. You cant disguise.

At least not successful or long.

sootlord · 2021-01-25T19:12:40+00:00

I'm a 28M and Red Pilled

We are living in a world where Men have no guidance in the dating market. This sexual/dating frustration for Men has been a accumulative presence since I was teenager (2007) because Men have no idea how to act with Women. Whether Men are conscious or unconscious to this biological stress this in itself where a part of Men's "seething" rage comes from. The other part of it is because when Men are younger, majority of us get dating advice from Women that 90% of the time makes the situation worst or makes us look weak. Its a bitter, depressing, frustrating learning experience. A Man's sexual prime peaks in their late teens and they have nowhere to release unless your "Chad" or "Chad-Lite".

Men that are still in the "Blue Pill" / "Disney Dream" mindset have no rational understanding of how the sexual marketplace works. They absorb Red Pill content but still have the Blue Pill wiring inside them. This conundrum will eventually brings out a Man's insecurity and breaks his frame. If he's vocalizing hes Red Pilled to Women hes projecting. He's hiding behind a mask in attempt to be valued Women. The Red Pill verbatim that these Men use is so they have some sort of guidance they can lean on, because we have no one else.

When Men fully internalize the "Red Pill" and moves past the "Red Pill Rage" stage that's when he can accept himself and the world around him. He becomes indifferent to things he can not control. He sets aside the biological cocaine to live a life with more fulfillment. He challenges his character which in essence builds his confidence, relieves his insecurity, and values his existence. He doesn't have to chase women because women automatically come to him. But most importantly he respects himself and respects the people around him. He's able to be compassionate, understanding, but know where to draw the line when it does not benefit.

Not a lot of Men know of the Red Pill but intuitively know how to act with Women.

Karmanger · 2021-01-25T21:13:10+00:00

I think you were dating a TRP'er in the Anger Phase, which means he's still "new" to TRP once the anger phase subsides he would lose the "Vibe".

Sid_Insidious · 2021-01-25T01:36:41+00:00

It's better a man be woke and fail as a budding TRPer than continue being a simping, orbiting, pussy worshipping loser because THAT is the BIGGEST woman repellent out there.

Now, being "bad at RP" is not much better, but it's still BETTER. It's about a man accepting female nature and HIS place in the SMP and deciding that "being nice" (BARF) and kissing ass and being Mr. Nice guy and Available Alice is NOT the way to go about things.

Sure, there will be some guys with odd or non-existent social skills coming across as total creeps when implementing RP theory.

But this is all just female salt.

For every one awkward TRPer out there, how many have actually improved their dating prospects? How many are getting laid more? Or got laid once rather than never at all? How many are on a mission to "lift and make bank" because they know at the end of the day they'll never be sought after simply because of their genetics or how "interesting" they are.

The point is, a man who is still learning how to implement RP theory to his benefit is STILL BETTER OFF than a simp doubling-down on Blue Pill bullshit.

The last thing a Nice Guy needs is yet another women telling him he's like a brother who will "make some girl - but sure as fuck not me - happy some day."

TL;DR

RP is working guys. It's pissing women off. That means it's working.

Women are doubling down on feminism. I say we double down on Red Pill.

ThrowawayCOVID999 · 2021-01-25T06:47:42+00:00

"Women seem wicked when you're unwanted".

Women only treat unattractive/unwanted men like shit. So redpillers are desperately looking for this "one weird trick" to fix their issue. Same with average white collar workers thinking Tony Robbins will make them rich with "this one weird mindset trick".

Of course the only thing winning is Rollos bank account.

The redpill would disappear overnight if men who are unwanted are just told they're hopeless and should just give up. Like some comments here point out they're autistic, you can't fix that shit.

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athrowaway283222 · 2021-01-25T07:58:10+00:00

I haven’t dated one. I don’t want to date one; I don’t want to date a man who is confined by his masculinity and his masculinity only (some women like more traditionally masculine men, good on them!), is unavailable to me, and navigates our relationship based on gender roles. No, sir. That is what I think of when I think of TRP. Some men have RP values but don’t label it, as well. I would just like to avoid that entire subset of men in a romantic/sexual setting.

I just want to love/care for someone with similar interests and mindsets and be attracted to them, and for them to love/care for me and be attracted to me. Love first (and that doesn’t mean he’s paying for me, love is not $$), sex second (since I want to wait for a while). The fact that he is a man and I am a woman, and our evolutionary roles or whatever, could not matter less to me. Open communication is the only strategizing I’d want in a relationship. Pure and simple. There may be less men like this, but it’s okay. I don’t think my standards are high, it just might be harder to find a man who doesn’t think with his dick primarily.

MissDeAnn · 2021-01-25T13:10:24+00:00

Wow this is deep my guy isn't true red pill he reads and learns and she definitely has some truth in what shes saying i also understand why he had to learn because his father was a beta ,and i am fortunate enough to have a rpm who understands thats it is better to be and alpha with Beta traits .15percent of the population, most alpha males are hated by women and gay

goatismycopilot · 2021-01-25T13:44:33+00:00

Why would a woman want to date a redpill man? Most young women want to get married. TRP says don't get married.

Willow-girl · 2021-01-25T14:39:57+00:00

I suspect my last husband may have been secretly RP. The longer we were together, the more his hidden misogyny leaked out. He had toxic Mommy issues that seemed to spill over into his romantic relationships. Of course he managed to hide this while we were dating but things tend to come out eventually ...

does_a_mangk · 2021-01-25T21:15:06+00:00

I dated one for 3 years. It was the worst experience of my life. He was really abusive in every sense of the word except he didn’t usually hit me. I know if I had married him he would have hit me though, I would have ended up dead.

I found out that he had raped and really hit one of his exes And he attacked another with a knife.

He was totally red pill but he didn’t know the word for it.

pillchangedmylife · 2021-01-24T22:35:47+00:00

Red pill teaches Masculine Feminine dichotomy Neo feminism preaches equality

If a woman believes in gender neutrality aka equality then she has no business dating a redpill man and should embrace the consequences of dating a man who also believes in gender equality.

In my opinion such a man or woman will have a horrible and unfulfilling relationship and will be bitter and angry when the cycle of misery and divorce continues to happen until they stop drinking the capitalistic quasai socialism agenda

amwfhunter · 2021-01-24T22:36:36+00:00

Red pill philosophy allows me to look at life not just mere dating strategies objectively through a red pulled perspective. The results speak for themselves. I feel the world plays on a narrative that is full of hypocrisy. I understand some elements of the game and how to win in some aspects in life.

Now as for dating, I know my actual value and what I can bring. I just go with it. Cannot guarantee that every woman I date stay and remain with me but they try and I would say in the last 15 years almost every woman I pursued has given me a chance or at least slept with me for a period of time. My main concern really is to protect my assets and finances from the idiocy of the system.

I really have 0 hopes and aspirations of a long term relationship, if it comes it comes if not I know I have a stable of young 20 some year olds for now to fall back on. Every time I meet a woman I think about how it will possibly play out and end.

Things may change for me in 10 years.

Title	Women outside of this sphere, discuss "What it is like to "date a Red Pill Man" Let's try it here.
Author	catfishmasc
Upvotes	39
Comments	396
Date	January 24, 2021 8:28 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/l46wxt/women_outside_of_this_sphere_discuss_what_it_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-outside-of-this-sphere-discuss-what-it-is.727406 https://theredarchive.com/post/727406

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