The attractiveness gap is a myth. Men are not less appealing than women because they take less care of themselves, women are just hypergamous.

upalse · 2020-12-15T22:04:13+00:00

taking more care of their looks

This is a meme a lot of women believe because they conflate female validation (only other women care about fashion) with male one (men don't care, but most women think they do).

On gay dating apps, every man - even average ones and below average ones - gets a chance.

Yes, just like average and below average woman would. Because men are thirsty, gay or straight. Attractiveness gap exists only because of the thirst, nothing else.

Hoopy223 · 2020-12-16T02:22:49+00:00

Online Dating and Social Media have really screwed up our society imho. My ex had 10k+ thousand followers on Instagram and tons of guys lusting after her on Facebook yet in Real Life she worked part time at a beauty salon and had no money (aside from what her parents gave her). That she couldn’t separate the two killed our relationship.

SonicBackScratcher · 2020-12-15T22:17:31+00:00

Gay men are the most promiscuous type of sexuality there is.

By default there is no sex imbalance in gay OLD unlike regular. If OLD was mostly women by a large margin dating, I'd be turning down 7's too.

This doesn't really prove anything other then gay men are more DTF you.

Looks of course matter for women, but they are motivated by other traits more than men in dating.

How does gay bumble work? Only the bottom can send a first message?

Johnnycage456 · 2020-12-15T22:38:49+00:00

Yeah I got that alot of men aint all that. No debating.

But the idea that most women are anything other than mediocre themselves is laughable. Guys are just insanely thirsty and boost their egos sky high.

BadWrath · 2020-12-16T07:54:08+00:00

Well, people here hate to look at things evolutionarily, but evolution explains a lot.

Men are attracted to - an - attractive woman. Women are attracted to - thee - attractive man. A woman’s attractiveness to a man tends not to be based on her attractiveness relative to the women around her, but rather her subjective attractiveness to that man. Whereas a man’s attractiveness to a woman is almost entirely based upon the relative quality of the men surrounding both him and her.

For example. Take Megan Fox. She is attractive to almost any man. She is attractive in the presence of Jessica Simpson. She is attractive in the presence of Angelina Jolie. She is attractive in the presence of Danica Patrick. Basically, no man would want to bang her any less just because any of these other women are around. Even if the guy would want to bang one of the other girls more, he would still no less want to bang her.

Now, considering women deem money and social status attractive, the college quarterback is the most attractive in the presence of every other normal guy on campus. Put that same guy in a room of successful businessmen worth $10mil a piece and the women who once fawned over him will ignore him. Put that same successful businessman beside a famous actor who is worth $86mil and the same women who fawned over him will look at him with disgust. In contrast to the previous example, a woman will deem a man they saw as “attractive” among the men surrounding him, “unattractive” if the “quality” of those men surrounding him begins to exceed his own.

(I put “quality” in quotation because the men women tend to deem “quality” for the sake of procreation have historically been the least qualified and eligible to be good providers and role models for their children. Whereas a man’s vetting mechanism for women tends to discriminate against bad health (weight) and natal problems (youth) for the sake of their children, resulting in better-off children, women’s proverbial draw to “bad boys” has created a generation of bastard children with a myriad of problems stemming from lack of male leadership and provision. So the men women deem “quality” tend not to actually be quality when the reproductive goal they’re looking to achieve is taken into account. As a matter of fact, the men who’s make the best fathers, the loving (protective) and predictable (stable) men are typically the ones who die childless) - but that’s neither here nor there...

In essence, a man’s attractiveness is based on other men, while a woman’s attractiveness is based on her individual attractiveness. If every guy had $150bil, Jeff Bezos wouldn’t be attractive. If every woman looked like Angelina Jolie, Angelina Jolie would still be attractive.

Now, to explain this evolutionarily. Women are naturally insecure. I say this because, what they seek in a man is provision and security. The only way you come to seek security is if you’re insecure. Men naturally provide this provision and security; however, at varying degrees. The best way to explain this is using muscle. Muscle appeals to women - in no uncertain terms - because muscle = “I can kill other guys” = security...at least it used to mean that, will the invention of guns, knives, and martial arts, it doesn’t anymore. If every guy was muscular, women would go for the most muscular guy, because at the point where a guy is just as muscular as every other guy, there’s no added security in his muscularity. So women tend to go for the exceptional guy because it means more security, more provision.

Men on the other hand primarily look for health in a mate for the sake if reproduction. One thing about health is, if you’re healthy, you’re healthy, if you’re not, you’re not. For example, if Angelina Jolie and Jessica Simpson both have no health problems and are young and fertile, what more do I really have to gain, as far as the health of my offspring is concerned, by going with one over the other? Now let’s say Megan Fox is “more healthy” or fertile than an already healthy Jessica Simpson. At the point a woman can healthily bear a child, does her health beyond that matter? No, so health and fertility have diminishing returns, or at least plateauing returns; whereas, a man’s security and provision don’t. So for men, any healthy woman will suffice. It’s a stark contrast from women, where just any muscular man for example, if every other man is muscular, won’t guarantee her security like the most muscular man would.

This is why women tend to go for “the best” and men tend to go for “good enough”.

ThatGirl50 · 2020-12-16T05:12:58+00:00

I don’t know who need to hear this but straight men.....please wash your ass 🤢

Responsible-Bike9047 · 2020-12-16T07:16:31+00:00

Okay one: as a bisexual woman I see beautiful women way more than I see attractive men. So this entire theory is false. But I’d just like to add that the reason you get matches on gay tinder is because the dating pool for gay men is a lot lower. 5% of the population is gay, obviously you’ll get more matches when there is so much less to choose from.

EffectiveBlackCat · 2020-12-15T22:15:29+00:00

Since when do women take more care of themselves? Is applying makeup taking care of yourself? Men cannot put on warpaint.

And obesity is higher among women than men in USA. More women seem to care less about gym & diet than men.

There is no attractiveness gap. Men can be turned by a grainy image of a naked woman with her head cropped out. Men can see just a boob or nipple and be turned on. Men can be turned on by a womans butt wearing Spandex leggings when standing behind her in a grocery store, they don't even need to see her face.

Women are not like that. They can only admire Chad traits but they need to interact with him to be turned on.

PrincessFKNPeach · 2020-12-16T02:05:32+00:00

Maybe women are just less "visual". I think women would rate men higher if they were only listening to his voice.

AidsVictim · 2020-12-15T23:53:46+00:00

It's primarily down to men having higher libidos/being sexually stimulated easier. Women have many more options so they can be selective.

However I do believe most women greatly overestimate the looks gap. Most women look like someones little brother or a goblin if you cut their hair short and wash off their makeup.

Mimoxs · 2020-12-15T22:46:45+00:00

Women just are more attractive. Women who take care of themselves are still more attractive even if a man takes care of himself.

On gay dating apps, every man - even average ones and below average ones - gets a chance.

Because men have lower standards. This is the gender that fucks raw chicken and park benches. Also, there is a subset of the gay community known for insanely high standards. Gays are not a monolith.

Gay men is not a valid standard of measurement. Bc they're gay men. They're not attracted to women. Even bi guys still are men - they're horny and have low standards.

If anything, the askmen and askwomen threads support the idea that men are just less attractive.

Attractiveness is determined by the people attracted to that group. For men, it's primarily women. If women say most men are ugly, most men are ugly.

Men trying to defend themselves on this is not much different from obese women claiming "beautiful at any size" - no matter how many likes and "yas queen"s they get, doesn't change that men don't wanna fuck them.

Bandit174 · 2020-12-15T22:36:53+00:00

This might be semantics but if the % of men that women are attracted to is smaller than the % of women that men are attracted to then it kind of is accurate to say men are less attractive. I don't think we are less aesthetic or healthy tough nor do I think the gap is significantly influenced by our effort. Changing your haircut or buying new clothes is not going to make a significant difference. The traits that separate a hot man from an ugly man are written in bone i.e your face, height, frame ect.

If we are talking about fitness I do not think women put more effort than men do on average. The amount of effort a guy has to put in the gym to get a body women find attractive is far more than what is required for women. Not only that women dont even need to workout to be lusted after. They can be anything between naturally petite and slightly chubby and still find tons of guys excited to fuck them silly.

The only thing they do that we don't is makeup and maybe more attention to outfits but even if all women decided to stop wearing makeup and opted to wear only jeans and a tshirt the gap would not change. Not wearing makeup is only disadvantageous because other women wear it, but if all women stoped wearing it their sexual appeal would remain unchanged.

mimblezimble · 2020-12-16T02:50:51+00:00

I'm not hot, I'm a kissless vrgin who can't get a 1/10 woman to look at him twice.

You may still look better than me. I am mostly suitable for a beauty and the beast scenario, which is a fantasy that seems to appeal to quite a few women, many of whom seem to dream of getting mercilessly fucked by a dangerous and ugly monster. I will be that monster.

crookedsummer2019 · 2020-12-15T23:32:49+00:00

I don’t think it’s a gay thing, I think it’s a guy thing. Guys gay or straight have pretty low standards for hook ups, and more of them are down to just hook up, compared to girls.

Less girls actively look to hook up with guys and are more picky when they do.

Let’s use the example of an average or even less than average girl on tinder getting attention from lots of guys and she wants to fuck one of them, why wouldn’t she pick the hottest guy showing interest over all the other guys? Of course she will pick the best looking guy she can get for sex. If she’s going to get her slut on why waste it on dad bod when 6 pack is available?

The average or even above average guy on tinder who has girls interested will pick the hottest girl he can get too, and most of the other girls who are interested, even if it means he will never admit that he fucked some of the less attractive ones.

EusticeSymington · 2020-12-15T22:53:54+00:00

Women just rose-tint other women.

Chemical_Debt_6127 · 2020-12-16T06:07:34+00:00

I think you’re right. But another thing to bear in mind is that Tinder is 78% male, so as a guy you’d be at a disadvantage from the beginning

SaBahRub · 2020-12-15T22:14:15+00:00

Porque no los dos?

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-12-16T00:10:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

merlinscalculator · 2020-12-16T02:49:29+00:00

hypergamy /hʌɪˈpəːɡəmi/ noun the action of marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background.

smoke_mardeljano · 2020-12-16T05:54:28+00:00

man, i hate these paragraph posts. u cant expect me to read all of that crap. anyway, don't really need to "prove" this with official data. the 80/20 rule applies especially on dating apps, because dating apps are oriented upon looks. this doesn't really apply in real life, but i do agree that if you're an ugly/average looking guy, and you're short? dating apps are not for you. your chances in real life are slim, but at least they're much better.

thelajestic · 2020-12-16T14:35:58+00:00

Surely that's more about differences in male and female attraction than hypergamy. The guys that men on here and my gay friends find hot are categorically not the same as the guys I find hot. There will obviously be exceptions and overlap etc but you can't expect a bunch of women to find you hot just because a bunch of men do, that's just silly.

Upmybuttpleasesir · 2020-12-16T18:33:13+00:00

Obese women who don't take careof themselves can get plenty of matches from fit men -

delusional

NotGoingoutofMW · 2020-12-16T00:00:36+00:00

This statement is both a strawman and excuse arguement. In reality taking care of himself regarding women means that you are allowed to be on the finish line and with enough (more than the Mt. Everest high) effort you have maybe a chance.

Womens attraction comes rarely from themselves, it's mostly overwritten by outside factors from society and their own percieved worth and how society percieves and praises men. Needless to say that all outside factors are blushing their self percieved value to high, while men rarely get praised for men exclusive traits (rather shamed for it) or for accomplishments because anything but the absolute best is percieved as almost a given. Women are growing up with soaking all of this into their subconscious. Take into account that women on every physique can be models or portrait in famous magazines even the fat plus size whales, on the other hand mostly the absolute genetic freaks and/or steroids pumpers are on covers which adds to this even further. You see that when a guy has a nice body from going 4 times a week into the gym most girls will say it's average or don't even notice it because they are used to the cover models.

kawaii_neet_bot · 2020-12-16T01:50:18+00:00

It's because most female attraction is not heavily skewed toward visual appearance. I would say a man's looks only account for 30% of attraction trigger for me. What triggers "wow this guy is attractive!" is a multitude of factors: the way he speaks, how he carries himself, how he resolves problems and whether he is able to take the initiative and responsibility for tasks.

Nauplielius · 2020-12-16T02:39:15+00:00

So therefore lesbians are hypergamous as well

I thought trp doesn't care about lgbt and it's a cardinal sin to use it in debate

2020-12-16T03:27:28+00:00

I only find maybe 15% of women attractive. Some people are just picker than others.

That said, getting offered sex from gay guys is about as difficult as... I don't know, shaking your dick after taking a piss?

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-12-16T01:52:38+00:00

With 70% obesity rates and rising? Nah. You are full of shit.

NarniaFox · 2020-12-16T02:45:27+00:00

What about women finding other women to be more attractive than men?

I see far more beautiful women than men and most my crushes were my female friends. I don't think though that the only or the main reason for it is that women take better care of themselves at least among young people. I'd say that women get sexualized more often than men and as a result both men and women are conditioned to see women as prettier and sexier gender.

But with age taking care of yourself gets more important. Men age like wine if they take good care of themselves, don't get fat, don't drink excessively and don't smoke at all. I don't know a lot of men in any age group who fit in this criteria.

Title	The attractiveness gap is a myth. Men are not less appealing than women because they take less care of themselves, women are just hypergamous.
Author	STEM--Celibate
Upvotes	86
Comments	276
Date	December 15, 2020 9:27 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kduxwi/the_attractiveness_gap_is_a_myth_men_are_not_less/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-attractiveness-gap-is-a-myth-men-are-not-less.731166 https://theredarchive.com/post/731166

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