This is almost word for word read like my previous relationship.. and they are making HER feel bad for not planning something HERSELF. I am heartbroken and so, so angry. I wish I could do something other than give her support in the comments

SwirlyButterfly · 2021-02-11T04:48:08+00:00

Wait, so just ComMuNiCaTinG doesn't magically solve relationship problems when you're being disrespected?

This whole post made me sad to read, I really hope she cancels and spends the day with friends/friends who actually value her.

biggestsigh · 2021-02-11T05:27:14+00:00

all the talk about love languages makes me want to scream "WE NEED ALL OF THEM!"

I like gifts
I like hugs
I like spending time with my SO
I like having nice things done for me
I like being told I'm awesome

I would like to know who doesn't like these things.

punsandprose · 2021-02-11T04:39:17+00:00

Please keep this woman in your thoughts and remember to never accept less than your highest standard from anyone ❤️

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2021-02-11T05:00:42+00:00

I bet you anything there's going to be a new reddit trend where the comments diagnose men with "a lack of empathy". He doesn't understand that making an effort is important to her, just like that other scrote doesn't understand that carrying a waterbottle upstairs on crutches is fucking dangerous.

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-02-11T05:02:17+00:00

I was reading your responses to that one idiot who kept up coming up with "excuses". Having one love language (apparently bf's is being the typical lame male Redditor) isn't an excuse to treat the girl like she's a placeholder... This is the effort a guy puts into a girl because he's not really into her, she's just convenient.

She's communicated a thousand times over. She shows him. She helps him out. She practically does the work for him.

And he doesn't make up for it in any other way.

I'm glad it looks like she's dumping him. She deserves better.

spoonxxm · 2021-02-11T05:16:48+00:00

Dude even my friends got me chocolate for valentine’s day... why is he dating her when he hates her 😭

LevellingUpTime · 2021-02-11T06:17:34+00:00

He can't make reservations for his gf on Valentine's day, but you bet he could pre-order a PS5 or some stupid game 8 months before it comes out and be lined up for the midnight release

Drop him

eatmypooamigos · 2021-02-11T05:30:26+00:00

Ugh at least she said in the comments she was gonna break up with him. Gives me slight hope

Platipus6 · 2021-02-11T05:48:57+00:00

So a year ago, he purposefully picked a fight to sabotage Valentine's to see if he could keep her after such an atrocity.

He worked out that he could.

He already listened to her. She said she'd keep him.

We are communicating, ladies, but sometimes, we're the ones not listening.

Hope she heard him this time.

punsandprose · 2021-02-11T05:22:08+00:00

I just saw that someone said "they aren't compatible" then posted a link.. about abuse..

That's not a compatibility problem?? He's a literal abuser??

spinsterchachkies · 2021-02-11T06:17:08+00:00

He hates her. That’s hatred. Breaks my heart

MonicaLSolis · 2021-02-11T06:21:54+00:00

If he does nothing for special days, it is 100% indicative of the relationship. He won't do anything special on ordinary days either

atreegrowsinbrixton · 2021-02-11T06:29:25+00:00

this just sent me down another rabbithole of reading about peoples horrible relationships. every single person asking reddit for relationship advice needs to dump them. each post is worst than the next. i can't even describe how quickly i would dump any single one of these people and every post is like "how do i make it WORK?" ugh GODDESS i love being single

Lysa3 · 2021-02-11T10:31:53+00:00

The problem is that we, as societies, are taught not to listen to women. And we as women unfortunately grow up applying this to ourselves. She knows it's not ok, she knows it make her feel terrible, yet she'll stay with him unless and until she's reached a point of no return (or he gets bored and moves on to his next prey), all because she won't listen to herself.

We really need to teach little girls to listen to and believe themselves, and not to second guess.

yolosunshine · 2021-02-11T06:37:25+00:00

Girl, why are you going?

You should go nowhere with him.

AwkwardDisaster4150 · 2021-02-11T13:26:00+00:00

Last year he probably picked a fight with her on Valentine’s Day so he could ignore her all day.

nyclaurco · 2021-02-11T15:51:40+00:00

this is hatred. even if you think that valentine’s day is the stupidest most annoying thing in the world, grocery store flowers are like $10. and everyone likes to eat yummy food at a restaurant, so he is purposely not doing this to cause pain. girl, he hates you.

crybabyhsinju · 2021-02-11T07:18:50+00:00

YAS. You’re a fckn queen. I see you all up in the comments lmfao.

darkempress2003 · 2021-02-11T08:27:17+00:00

Sadly I've been in her shoes. It really does suck.

Jiou112 · 2021-02-11T06:49:43+00:00

Did you save her and send her here? When I read stories like this, it is so obvious the woman is just looking for reassurance that it's ok to leave. That she deserves better. And she won't find it on the other subs with men gaslighting her.

punsandprose · 2021-02-11T15:31:27+00:00

[deleted]

jp2117515 · 2021-02-11T12:49:45+00:00

She’s enamored with the fantasy of having a boyfriend versus authenticity being in relationship with this particular man. Her fantasy ideal is clouding what her situation actually is. If she would look at it realistically she would see he’s lame and frustrating and move on. Instead she’s victimizing herself because she has this fantasy to hold on to. He’s given her no reason to think he’s anything other than disappointing and lame and she coaches him like a child to tell him how to “Valentines Day” appropriately and goes and spends money on a dress rather prematurely because she’s not calling a spade a spade with this lame ass man. A tiger won’t change his stripes - I’m sorry but this is one is on her for entertaining fantasies and projecting them on to LV.

heythereitsemily · 2021-02-11T16:00:25+00:00

Of all days, it’s expected that a man would treat his lady on Valentine’s Day. If a man didn’t do that for me, I’d have to assume we’re not together. Maybe I’d pretend to be embarrassed that I thought we were in a relationship and since I’m not looking for any male friends, goodbye.

ThoraFriganza · 2021-02-11T09:09:10+00:00

I feel so bad for her, even if he isn't a romantic person (he's clearly emotionally stunted) he would do it for her at least on Valentines day if he loves her, she has said that she thinks it's important to her.

thowawaywookie · 2021-02-11T14:19:30+00:00

I hope she dumps him!

You'd think after a year, she has figured out she gets nothing from being with him.

Throwawayrightaway28 · 2021-02-11T17:04:04+00:00

This is why I hate dating. My family asked me LAST WEEK about my favorite candy, etc. One of my friends requested my address yesterday so she could have my Valentine to me on time. The guy I’ve been on two dates with hasn’t mentioned Valentine’s Day though we spoke two or three times this week. Next.

KateJ1982 · 2021-02-11T15:08:46+00:00

Poor Sis wasted a year on this fellow, communicating and treating him how she wanted to be treated. He showed her exactly who he is and exactly what he thought of her last year but she didn't want to accept the truth. RIP to that year of her life. Hopefully she will wise up now.

lonely_ghosty_mostly · 2021-02-11T14:45:04+00:00

After my last Valentine’s Day disaster I’ve decided I’d rather spend my energy on my friends instead. I planned a picnic date in the local park, cooked and packed a three course meal, bought expensive wine, and got all dolled up for the date.

After hours of radio silence I went to pick him up and he was hung over and reeked of booze. He didn’t say anything to me on the drive to the park and didn’t help me set up. By the time I’d set out our food he’d already finished the wine I’d brought and complained I didn’t bring more. Then, while eating the food I MADE HIM on the date that I SET UP ALONE, he called me a whore and that if I actually loved him I would make more of an effort to make him happy.

I refuse to ever plan a date with a man again, planning events with my friends has been a much more rewarding use of my energy.

slythergin23 · 2021-02-11T05:58:31+00:00

i mean i'd wait for valentine's day to actually come around. maybe he's got some surprise planned. buuuut when the day comes and he's got nothing, good fucking riddance

galian84 · 2021-02-11T16:45:19+00:00

I’ve been where she is. I’ve had 4 exes, and only my first one ever did anything special for Valentine’s Day...for the first year we were together. Then it became “its a Hallmark holiday, we shouldn’t celebrate it anymore.” Same sentiment with my ex after that. I became brainwashed into believing it wasn’t a big deal, even though it always made me a little sad. After that, my last ex bought a petite cake for me and then bolted after 30 minutes for “family emergency”. I never got to eat the cake and his nieces and nephews ate it. I also had a short-lived situationship where the guy ended things a week before Valentine’s Day.

I hope this woman wakes up and leaves his ass. He can’t even make a dinner reservation when she’s done so much for him to make him feel special? He doesn’t care and is just along for the ride. I hope she sees that.

Whether your man cares enough to actually plan something special for special events, especially Valentine’s Day, says a lot about him.

cece188 · 2021-02-12T04:19:27+00:00

Sometimes I wish I could hold these women by the shoulders and shake them. “How am I supposed to take this?” You don’t. You leave and never come back. Cut your losses and move on

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