Not everything has to be sexy

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-21T01:56:18+00:00

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Smorgasbord__ · 2020-11-21T01:55:24+00:00

It may have been a different thread, but a recent popular one along those lines was moreso making the (imo correct) point that despite what women say about wanting a man who shows his emotions, the unfortunate reality men need to understand is this is a high risk strategy that most likely leads to a loss in attraction from her contrary to what we are told by women.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-11-21T03:54:25+00:00

Red Pill is not an over-arching philosophy about life -it's a commentary on the sexual marketplace, feminism, modern "strong independent women" and the reality that for most men, relationships with women are transactional (at best). It's about average guys being aware of the pitfalls of dating, mating, love and marriage that men commonly fall into.

Let's talk about some of the day to day.

Doing chores - When I clean a bathroom and "detail" it, down to the grout and every square inch, it looks and smells amazing. It gives me a sense of satisfaction. A room that was cluttered and now tidy? Sense of satisfaction. Yeah, I'd rather shitpost on Reddit but housekeeping has a nice end result: you feel good.
Kids. Everything I do for my kids is rewarding. When I make them pan-seared sirloin with sesame sauce, garlic rice and steakhouse mushrooms they gobble it down and ask for seconds. It makes me feel really good to feed my kids delicious food.
Pooping. Okay it's gross, but when you change your diet and lifestyle and your (ahem) movement is healthy the way it should be, that's a good feeling. I don't know why just men enjoy their morning ritual, but after a long bout of poor eating and lack of hydration, a proper "movement" is euphoric.
Eating. Eating isn't sexy? WHAT? You need to cook some sexy food. Cook things that are just savoury, and garlic-y and delicious. Do you cook with cream sauce? Wine sauce? Garlic? Lemon-pepper? Pesto? Stop making spaghetti and sauce and get a cook book - or try to cook what you eat at your favourite restaurants. One of the best joys of life is eating savoury foods. When I was dating, I would cook for my dates at home - stuffed peppers, mushroom-steak, seafood pasta... with wine, in candlelight. Eating is sexy. Some people didn't eat at all today. Celebrate food and make food worth celebrating.
Work. I collaborate at work. I work with some incredible intelligent people, and I for one don't have the sheer raw intelligence of some of my propeller-head colleagues. Collaborating is WONDERFUL. I try to foster not a competition between individuals, put I pit US against our COMPETITION. I really like the people I work with, despite the usual politics, tension and bullshit. We really do provide an exceptional product and everybody is conscientious and invested in their work.
Shopping. I like shopping because I get to interact with "me people" - the ladies at the store who recognise me and I make small talk and we joke about life and COVID and everything else. Basic human interaction. As a MGTOW ghost, I get an amazing amount of human contact just by being a cordial, pleasant, average, humble human being. Some of the people I talk to light up - just because someone spoke to them kindly, or gave a single shit about them.
Driving. WHAT? DRIVING? Yes driving. I drive a bit (ahem) assertively, BUT, I always move out of the way for more assertive drivers and give less assertive drivers a break - and let them in. I get "hand waves" all the time for gestures of humanity on the road. If we all do this, the over-all stress level on the road goes down.

I live a very simple, isolated, bachelor, MGTOW life. But, I live an excellent life. Even the smallest things are worth doing in an excellent way. My dental hygienist takes 10 minutes to clean my teeth "Excellent home care!" she exclaims. I brush morning and night, and floss every other day, if I'm being honest.

MGTOW has liberated me from a stressed out world of trying to please a never-happy listless female. Now I can live my simple life in excellent ways. I can appreciate perfecting a home-made dish (with the help of my food critic children) or just revel in the fact that despite being a Red Pill social outcast, I can spread some cheer everywhere I go.

I'm feeling a bit more positive than usual tonight, but your post helped me realise something. I do the "day to day" quite well. I am ABLE to be a Red Pill MGTOW VolCel only because I take pleasure in the simplest things in life.

I may seem unhappy here because I vent and rant here. But truthfully, I have a pretty damned good life.

TheJim66 · 2020-11-21T03:20:53+00:00

I saw a thread the other day that discussed how men should never be emotionally vulnerable around women because women don’t find that sexy. Well you know what else isn’t sexy:

... Except that being emotionally vulnerable isn't neutral, it's plain unattractive. It's also not a one off thing, if her pussy starts seeing you as weak because of your emotional display, youre fucked .

TRP is just showing you what is and what isn't sexually attractive and how you should act in order to keep her into you. How far you want to take it is up to you but that doesn't change the reality of the situation. Doing the attractive things will make you more attractive. Doing the unattractive things will make you more unattractive.

If she does lose sexual desire towards you, your relationship is doomed

Davidfosford · 2020-11-21T03:12:00+00:00

some people want to be winners, sexually and financially

TRP is for men that desire to be wanted sexually first, not only for the stuff they provide (getting used as beta bux)

SonicBackScratcher · 2020-11-21T03:24:35+00:00

I saw a thread the other day that discussed how men should never be emotionally vulnerable around women because women don’t find that sexy.

Not quite the issue.

Its not that its not sexy when you do it, lots of things are unsexy, its that it kills that sex drive after as you are looked at as a different person.

If you SO suddenly told you they really want to take a dump on you, for normal people thats really unsexy. Just because you say "no thank you" doesn't mean from now on you don't look at them differently when it comes to sex, and it may be a deal breaker.

Being emotionally vulnerable to women is taking a dump on sex appeal. Even after its over, the stain stays.

Bandit174 · 2020-11-21T02:57:59+00:00

It's not necessarily about not being sexy in that specific moment it's supposedly that by being emotionally vulnerable it increasingly leads to a sustained decrease in attraction over time. That and it will potentially be used as emotional ammunition in future arguments or if things don't work out. I wouldn't say guys should never be emotionally vulnerable but I do think we are better off leaning more on the guarded side than not.

deeredman1991 · 2020-11-21T04:10:25+00:00

It's exhausting, fake, unrealistic, and necessary, if you want her to choose you over the guy she believes doesn't poop...

Or you can calmly and rationally explain to her that all guys poop and then wait for her to let the guy who she believes doesn't poop give her a hot carl. Your choice. Lol

Bottom line is; you can't logic or reason your way into bed with a woman. It's an emotional process. If you want her to sleep with you, no, if you even want to get your foot in the door, period; you're going to have to abandon logic and reason in favor of emotional highs and dread game.

You can't even be real with a fuck buddy... Trust me... I learned that the hard way... I'm never opening up to a woman again unless I want to bring the sex to an abrupt hault.

Tip for bisexual guys; don't tell women about any bisexual tendencies you may have either, even if they are super LGBTQ+ friendly, are bisexual themselves, and decorate their house and social media in rainbows. Vaginas are apparently homophobic... It's a trap, don't do it... Again; hard way...

CopeandLies · 2020-11-22T19:36:23+00:00

Lots of men can't deal with tall, attractive guys being seen as adonis just for changing a tire. They want that aura that some men get for free, so imagine that there's a technique and set of rules to abide by to get it.

stats135 · 2020-11-21T02:16:36+00:00

Being sexy isn't a necessity. Having sex is. I don't care that the wife doesn't find me sexy doing the chores. The problem happens when the wife not finding me sexy leads her to not have sex with me.

mountainofjoy · 2020-11-21T01:35:44+00:00

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daproest1 · 2020-11-21T08:12:28+00:00

The not showing vulnerability thing (I had to scroll down immediately when I read that part, to confirm that this post was written by a woman like I assumed it was right when I got to that part) is not about “sexy”. That would be ridiculous. It’s much deeper. And far more important than people can understand. You know how sometimes you smell something and it just smells really bad? U can’t articulate why u want to gag so much. U can’t really explain why it disgusts you so much. But u feel it just the same right? Its an exaggerated example (actually, sadly, in some cases that was the perfect example). But it’s the same exact thing and works the same exact way. It’s just one of those truths. It’s not just a theory. Or an ego thing. There are evolutionary reasons behind it. It’s ok for women to be vulnerable around men. We either find it adorable, or our instincts to save u and help kick in. And it’s a little more ok for a boy to be vulnerable around his mother for the same kinds of reasons. But man vulnerable to his woman? Or a woman? No. Never. Ever. Unless someone died.

abaxeron · 2020-11-21T19:33:23+00:00

I saw a thread the other day that discussed how men should never be emotionally vulnerable around women because women don’t find that sexy. Well you know what else isn’t sexy: 99% of daily life.

Women don't punish men for un-sexy 99% of daily life. Women punish men for showing vulnerability. And, the worst part, this effect accumulates only in one direction, like a valved vessel. Cry in her presence once - if you're lucky, you'll barely notice any difference in her attitude. Cry in her presence once in three weeks - humbly accept Fortuna's kiss if your relationship magically survives 1-year milestone. We had a "crying thread" some time ago, and the vast majority of our glorious middle-aged married for 10-20 years women could remember 1-2 cases of witnessing their husband crying. Do men cry so rarely? - No. It's just that men who cry more often in the presence of their wives stop having wives.

Do what are TRP going to do? Never poop?

Poop at the workplace.

Never have kids?

Some decide exactly this.

Never vacuum?

To shove 100 bucks into her face, say "Go have fun for 1.5 hours", clean the place and himself up, and welcome her back - is more sexy than annoying her with the sound of a working vacuum.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2020-11-21T23:59:48+00:00

I usted to date a woman that got pissed if I didn't woke her up early in the morning.

My fiance wakes me up with a blowjob on Sundays if I'm still sleeping at 11AM.

I mean, if you guys are with a woman that doesn't find you sexy while doing the most average/normal stuff at any our, whatever the day it is, then she doesn't find you sexy and it's time to find another woman.

That's my redpill advice, and I'm not even a redpiler.

Workaholiconew · 2020-11-22T14:43:41+00:00

It is true that being sexy all the time is not a good idea. You have a set of priorities you need to uphold. Sometimes it is better to show weakness and recover faster/better than to bottle it up.

But there is consequences. What we warn is that there is a consequence of not being sexy all the time. You can show weakness, you can be weak, you can be fat. But it will increase your chances (by a lot) of her just leaving or cheating.

But it is true, the concept of using TRP for LTR is quite stupid. But who am I to say? I consider the idea of LTR with 99% of women available in the market to be also quite stupid.

SaBahRub · 2020-11-21T05:32:02+00:00

Sorry. Dudes is sex obsessed, the end

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-21T02:52:45+00:00

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jdobrila · 2020-11-21T02:32:54+00:00

I don’t get horny from watching my husband doing chores or assisting the elderly or taking care of kids.

Then you married a wrong man.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-21T01:52:32+00:00

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Young_Zarathustra · 2020-11-21T02:10:36+00:00

While TRP is based on in my opinion theoretically sound grounds a lot of it is written with the intent to program the individual.

It's no coincidence that the OG seduction school was NLP, and as a logical extension Ross Jeffries would extend that to his clientele. He's getting you to larp as a character in the same manner that Bo Jackson would pretend to be Jason Voorhees during football games to keep a cool head.

While you're not supposed to always be Sex Man, the only way to hit Amused Mastery and hold sexually intense frame enough to delude yourself into being sexual is to always be Sex Man.

In the same way you wouldnt shit on a Christian for not always being Christ like you wouldn't shit on a redpiller for not always being Sex Man.

Posts like this are like going to Sunday School and telling this kids "well it's impossible to always love God."

PM_ME_STRIPPERS · 2020-11-21T04:55:10+00:00

lady u are way far off if you think trp is all about being "bangable" 24/7. its much more than that. heck im not even a redpiller

reluctantly_red · 2020-11-21T05:54:07+00:00

Eating isn’t sexy.

Lots of people think it is.

throw-away-1709 · 2020-11-21T08:07:15+00:00

Sorry. My life is different. My "now wife" can relax. I have a grip on my life.

I do not need to cry.

Don't get me wrong. I've been through situations others would break.

But i am the rock she can lean on.

Her emotional rollercoaster is a thing i can handle.

Sexy?

I am sexy as hell all times. I don't care. Might be my sexual attraction derives from my fat. My fat wallet.

I don't care.

Women swarm me like flies. I select. So? Sexy? Sexy is fu$$ing every day 1-3 times.

If she is not into you - you're not sexy.

The normal RL problems are on you. Not her.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-11-21T09:16:35+00:00

I dont think the debate here is whether the act of crying turns anyone on, but whether or not some behaviours permanently turn the other off. I mean shitting isn't sexy but no one cares about the fact you're in the toilet. But maybe if someone watched you take a shit they wouldn't be able to be attracted to you again because of the level of disgust.

The claim is that seeing a guy cry has a same effect on women, permanent turn off and shift in a way we see him. I disagree with it for the most part, of course it's true for some people, but your argument is sort of missing the point

WyldeCutter · 2020-11-21T10:02:13+00:00

I'm red-pilled and I never poop.

rubbooyuri · 2020-11-21T16:53:35+00:00

Men believe it does, so it is

Granted, most mature adults manage to function anyway

NotTheBestMoment · 2020-11-21T17:50:54+00:00

TRP isn’t usually about LTRs so your argument is a weird one.

SeemedGood · 2020-11-21T19:28:54+00:00

Bottom line is that women treat us significantly better if we are sexy to them and worse if we are not - 24/7, in every context, even within the context of a committed LTR.

wekacuck · 2020-11-21T23:16:00+00:00

Tangential but is was recently reading back through one of the very early RP splinter subreddits that has been dead for a years. What's interesting is it's like peering into a timecapsule to RP stuff from 5-6 years ago.

The main thing that struck me is how much it all evolved around "emotional rollercoaster" which seems to have to have disappeared as a focus. There used to be this thing about "causing emotions" and whatnot. Like back then it wouldn't be considered enough to be sexy 24/7--you had to contrast it with causing her to feel other things etc. Like there was this whole field report about how making her angry lead to a fuckfest etc.

Anyway no real coherent thought but it really seems like the only thing anyone talks about now is turning the dial on everything to 11 all the time, but it used to be about more contrasty playful stuff like hot/cold, vulnerable/stoic, etc.

April_blossoms · 2020-11-21T03:16:08+00:00

I do every thing I can think of to be as sexy as possible. I have learned as much makeup as possible, I even have magnetic lashes. I have eleven wigs now with caps so I can dress up. I ask hubs what he wants me to wear and I change into it before he gets home. I redo my makeup right before he gets home.

But no I can't do it 24/7. The kids run around and make messes like crazy. I want the house clean before he gets home but I still have to do my makeup. Plus change into "comfy clothes".

Hubs always says just try your best but your actual best not your boomer "I did my best" balonies. And there's a reason everyone has a bathroom with a lock in the door ha ha

Matt_Door · 2020-11-21T15:25:21+00:00

It’s easy for you to take that position when you aren’t the one responsible for generating passion and attraction. We all know around here that most women have reactive sexual drives, their men need to get things going or it won’t happen.

You’re right most of daily life isn’t sexy, which to me means it’s all the more important for a guy who wants sex with his partner to make those moments when the opportunity occurs. Especially married or living together because she is going to see all sides and a man needs to ensure he’s adding positive attraction while minimizing those things that subtract from his desirability.

Again, it’s way to say when you can passively receive all the sex you do or don’t want.

mountainofjoy · 2020-11-21T02:00:41+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Not everything has to be sexy
Author	mountainofjoy
Upvotes	83
Comments	272
Date	November 21, 2020 1:32 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jy20nk/not_everything_has_to_be_sexy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/not-everything-has-to-be-sexy.749097 https://theredarchive.com/post/749097

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