Every time I look at this sub, there are posts and comments from women complaining that they’re approached, hit on, whistled at, flirted with etc CONSTANTLY.
I just need to know: are you all supermodels who live in NYC and stand in the middle of Times Square 8 hours a day?
Because I consider myself to be reasonably pretty. I live in a city that’s a bit on the smaller side, though nothing like Mayberry. I go to work, I run errands, I go to events etc like normal people. And yet I get public male attention from strangers maybe 3x a YEAR. Of course, I’ve been married for a few years so that changes things a little - I have a wedding ring and often my husband with me.
But even when I was single, I didn’t get a lot of attention. I’m just trying to figure out what y’all are doing that makes men hit on you every time you leave the house, since it’s a HUGE complaint here.
TL;DR -for those of you who get hit on “constantly”, do you live in a big city or something? As a somewhat attractive woman, it hasn’t been a big issue for me.
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I’m willing to bet most of those accounts aren’t women at all, they’re sock puppets of sales guys. If you engage they’ll probably pass you off to a real human before the actual sales call.
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I guess once a month, it’s hard to quantify since I go out very sporadically since the pandemic. But as the top comment said it’s mostly hostile sexuality not flattery. This type of interest is less about being attractive and more about the combo of living in a big city + looking young/approachable.
Genuine flirty interest is much more rare because this happens within social groups, and since I’m obviously married decent men aren’t going to make attempts.
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Hell, I’m old AF according to PPD and it entirely depends on my attitude. If I’m unguarded and friendly (NOT flirtatious, just normal, casual friendly) it happens a fair amount. If I’m sporting RBF and avoiding eye contact and casual conversation, almost never.
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[–]DorianneGrey1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Smaller town.
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So your experience is that men are NOT idiots who can't read RBF and avoiding eye contact... Interesting.... interesting...
More "conflicting information" from an actual "woman's lived experience"...
Interesting because PPD women say:
"We wear ear-buds, sport RBF, avoid eye contact and still endure an endless stream of unwanted attention and street harassment from men of all ages, everywhere, all the time".
Or maybe that just some shit purple-haired humanities students shit post on Reddit...
And I believe you, because I never see this pervasive "street harassment zombie apocalypse" these feminists speak of.
Personally, I think it's just a mental construct.
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[–]sharuffino1 points [recovered] (13 children) | Copy Link
You don’t see the street harassment because those dudes aren’t after you.
Recently, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for 30min while I walked down a street in a major city, and I got hollered at five times. FIVE. One of which was a creeper in a van that pulled a quick illegal u-turn to sidle up next to me on the sidewalk.
My boyfriend also told me I must be imagining it, or misinterpreting it, or whatever… anything but believe me. Until he wasn’t there and heard it for himself.
Fucking bullshit with the “if it doesn’t happen in front of me they must all be lying.”
[–]Insidious-Sid1 points [recovered] (12 children) | Copy Link
Right, but I'm in public spaces with women sitting alone, and I don't see it. And I even watch for it.
So, it's hard to relate to something people claim happens in public when other people who frequent public spaces don't see it.
There's more going on here.
[–]sharuffino1 points [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes people lie. That doesn’t mean we doubt everyone all the time.
[–]Insidious-Sid1 points [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
Perceptual distortions do not lies make.
Just because someone might think everyone is looking at them doesn't mean they are.
[–]sharuffino1 points [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
Are you saying that you don’t believe me?
[–]Insidious-Sid1 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
I am saying you believe street harassment is everywhere, practically all men do it, and it happens to you multiple times a day.
I really believe you believe that.
[–]sharuffino1 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
I am asking if you do not believe me about the instance that I shared with you.
[–]Insidious-Sid1 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
What, that you're harassed sexually every 5 minutes from the time you walk out the door to the time you return home?
No. I don't believe you.
Not unless I live on some other planet where the public spaces I am in are simply full of well behaved men and boys.
Then again, I don't lose my shit if someone looks at me.
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More going on here?
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Most LVM would have to know I’m out of their league. The random occasional car honk then fleeing off into the sunset, lol, is likely more common.
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[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]OldSimpsonsisbetterMessage me for a chat 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]OldSimpsonsisbetterMessage me for a chat 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]OldSimpsonsisbetter1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]goatismycopilot1 point [recovered] | Copy Link