Did you ever feel like getting back together with ur ex?

MrEpicMustache · 2023-09-11T02:44:01+00:00

Masturbate before seeing her. It helps clear the head.

GreenUse1398 · 2023-09-11T04:54:47+00:00

Well, presumably you didn't marry her because you find her unattractive. My wife is very attractive. But wanting to stick your d in a good looking woman and wanting to be held hostage by a deranged terrorist, are two different things.

I_Touched_Grass · 2023-09-11T04:13:51+00:00

I have nightmares on occasion that we're still together. Yeah she's sexy to me still, but she's also insane, and a manipulative bitch. So when I wake up, I'm glad it was only a dream.

techrmd3 · 2023-09-11T02:38:50+00:00

I found my stbex very sexy at the divorce hearings

But I was academic about my admiration and now have a girlfriend

You walked into a bear trap that was dressed sexy... don't do it again

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-09-11T06:42:49+00:00

Never. Every day I thank god that she’s out of my life.

Ok-Nobody-2729 · 2023-09-11T06:54:20+00:00

Difficult one.

I couldn't ever trust her again. Her family shown their true colours I couldn't willingly spend time with them. I'm pretty certain she'd feel the same way about some of my family too.

We're amicable now but it wasn't always that way.

She's gorgeous objectively there's no getting away from that but I couldn't ever trust her again so it'd be doomed to fail really.

I'd be lying if I said I wish the split never happened though.

Certain-Line-6351 · 2023-09-11T07:15:02+00:00

Really I left my wife and now I can’t believe I ever thought she was attractive. Once i saw who she really was she just seemed ugly.

NilEntity · 2023-09-11T08:44:42+00:00

No. Nooooo.

8 months ago: love of my life, I'll be with her till I die.
Now: I don't know who this person is and I want as little contact as possible.

Hypothetical scenario: IF she wanted to get back together I'd have to consider it. Just the off-chance to give our daugther "her" family back ... Not enthusiastic though, I don't know how I could trust her again.

tragicaddiction · 2023-09-11T17:00:10+00:00

I miss having my family.

i hate the idea of going on dates now because we could have done that.

but i also get angry thinking of how she was and why we couldn't have a normal life.

and i hate how my kids now don't have that opportunity

OldRooter_06 · 2023-09-11T14:20:07+00:00

I’ve never taken a shit, and then to shove the shit back up my ass

17throwaway-scorpio · 2023-09-11T18:47:32+00:00

I would never EVER get back with my ex. Divorce changes people and I have seen the worst of her. I'm disgusted.

Thankfully, I was never really physically attracted to her from the start, so I can't relate.

You gotta make a list of the cons and constantly read it to remind yourself. That's what I do when I'm physically attracted to someone who may not be a good partner.

DuelCitizener · 2023-09-12T03:15:42+00:00

ALL

THE

TIME

She’s going through a midlife; I was going through depression. I got my shit together and am more the person I want to be, and she has agreed that it’s what she also wanted but it feels “fake” to her because I could actually change (thanks to professional help).

It’s too soon to reconcile regardless but as far as I’m concerned it took a long time to find someone like her and while there’s always another one, she’s the mother to my children.. together we did amazing things. We just lost our way after Covid

Unsure what happens next. I’ve tried dating, fwb… in the post nut clarity it comes back to her.

Substantial_Try8417 · 2023-09-11T09:48:57+00:00

Honestly the few times I see her in person and the pictures I have on my phone, I think I had wife goggles on a lot of the time. Don't get me wrong she was able to doll herself up to a 7.5, and admittedly thats likely all I am in a dress shirt and tie too, but I lose the attraction real quick when I remind myself: You don't want a cheater, she declined all the fun things you do, she said she found the fact that I found peace in my life "unattractive". And thats all I need to clear those thoughts.

So yeah your ex is hot. Play devils advocate. Why dont you want to get back with her?

CrazySanta7 · 2023-09-11T12:48:49+00:00

No, that feeling you have is from a scarcity mindset, and you are likely starting the mourning period. She likely went through this period long ago. Give it time, and you will realize you are better off without her.

probebeta · 2023-09-11T04:08:25+00:00

Ahaha no fucking way... if there is an opportunity to bang her I'll gladly do it but she's not coming near me anymore. After all the battle and financial pain this has caused I have zero love for her. Shes just an object to me.

Reasonable-Desk-8508 · 2023-09-11T18:12:08+00:00

I know I'll be able to get my ex to cheat on her affair partner with me. I'm gonna film it and send him the video.

dog_fart_tacos · 2023-09-11T09:43:48+00:00

Conceptually, yes. I had set us up pretty well for a comfortable retirement. The divorce killed all that. Her selfishness killed that. I would love to be back in the same financial position, but I also hate her completely.

BaldieGoose · 2023-09-11T10:40:47+00:00

No because despite being an OK looking woman, she looks so much older than the chicks I'm fucking now

FindingMyPrivates · 2023-09-11T10:57:55+00:00

The only thing I miss about my ex is my “family”. I can’t see my kids everyday and I fucking hate it. We used to be very close, at least what I thought, and she was unfortunately my only friend. Which was not a good thing. That relationship was exhausting. I’m sure she cheated but I don’t have any hard evidence. I had to work for everything including a hug. Sex was no existent. I don’t miss her, just what I thought was my “family”.

Her family is full of divorced women. I’m not surprised. She was also hanging out with 22-25 year olds and she’s pushing 31 in a month. I find my ex revolting. Knowing she’s out being a whore, while my kids say they stay with others at night. Or that she gave away my kids things to other people. Or that she never pays for anything for my kids.

Yeah I don’t want to ever get back with that women. Knowing she’s sleeping around is enough to not feel attraction. I’ll be honest, I’d rather take a women who sleeps around 3x more than her. Off the fact that I dedicated my life to that women and did everything I could. Ain’t no fucking way. I miss my kids but now they need to learn to live with divorced parents

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-09-11T10:05:45+00:00

Not at all. When we got married I didn’t find her that attractive to begin with, maybe a 6/10. It’s a long story but eventually I succumbed to the pressure to get married and I went along with it because I figured she would be a good life partner, had a good career plus she always put out. Turns out she also put out for her boss so that ended things with us after 5 years together.

The few times I have seen her since separation I thought she looked rather gross. She grew up in a very tiny town, like 1000 people and her dad was one of the wealthier guys so she grew up thinking she was hotter and richer than everyone one simply because there wasn’t much competition. I really didn’t even notice how unattractive she was unless she was standing next to an actually attractive woman and I’d just think to myself holy shit look at this beast.

Anyway I feel terrible about the kids having a broken home but feel absolutely zero attraction for her now.

Try focusing on what she’s putting you through now. Avoid seeing her in person / online / talking on the phone if possible. As others have mentioned post nut clarity is real, got me through the first 6 weeks of my shit show. Don’t rush it, but for me one BJ was all it took to completely lose all feelings for my ex so it’s helpful knowing that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

wolfstar76 · 2023-09-11T11:04:05+00:00

Nah.

I actually should have left years - YEARS before we ended things. But...poor mental health is a thing.

I knew I wasn't happy, but she told me all the time how happy she was, and how she didn't know what she'd do without me. So I settled for complacency.

Mind you... the benefit of hindsight is I now realize what a gaslighting monster she was. No wonder I was in a poor headspace, because in addition to the above, I'd also regularly hear about how she was a strong independent woman, and she didn't need me.

And that's only scratching the surface.

I had reason to re-read our divorce agreement recently, and while I got a good deal in some ways...I let myself get fucking railroaded in others. I don't even recognize the person who agreed to some of what I agreed to.

So, no.

If we didn't have kids together, I still wouldn't wish her ill, but I'd have zero reason to ever be in contact with her ever again.

Well...at least...until I (recently) found out that a credit card she agreed to pay off, and specifically asked to be removed from to improve her debt-to-income so she could get a decent mortgage...has been seeing regular use from her ('cuz I don't touch that damn account...)

So, that's been fun.

Yeah, no.

Five years later, I had a GF for a while, and I've been single the last year.

And while I sometimes get lonely at night... I'll take that loneliness over dealing with that ever, EVER again.

VegasZac · 2023-09-11T14:06:03+00:00

Nope. Never. Once I found out who she really was, I could never do it. I get grossed out thinking about her now. She dyed her hair bleach blonde like she did when she was 18, but has the face of a 50 year old (she’s 41… alcohol abuse will do that to ya). She looks and acts trashy as hell now… makes it easy to be repulsed by her.

Forward-Transition-5 · 2023-09-11T14:10:22+00:00

I think some of us go through this phase after a divorce or a breakup. We get lonely and that clouds our judgement. I’ve been there myself. My ex and I considered getting back together at one point (because apparently I’m a moron on occasion) but that fell through pretty quickly. Luckily I’m in my right mind now so I wouldn’t even take a second to consider the possibility. The problem is that the moments when you get along tend to make you forget all the bad things that happened. Never forget those things because I guarantee you absolutely nothing has changed no matter how much you might think so.

Dakeddit · 2023-09-11T14:24:54+00:00

I would, but every time I see her she shows who or what she is. The bear trap example is really good that someone else said.

If we ever got back together she would need a ton of therapy to address her issues.

ivereadabookor2 · 2023-09-11T14:49:44+00:00

I do but when we start talking (we have to since we co parent) and I realize it’s not worth the effort.

Weary_Landscape_7098 · 2023-09-11T15:12:38+00:00

All the time, but only if she could somehow turn into the woman I married, instead of the woman I divorced.

ww3historian · 2023-09-12T04:52:10+00:00

Noooii

pharmd718 · 2023-09-12T11:24:08+00:00

No! After the divorce she went right to the carousal. Even managed to get date raped! She is not the same person i met many years ago.

Big_Marsupial_8142 · 2023-09-12T21:23:09+00:00

NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Don't fall into that trap!! I'm sure you think she's attractive - you likely wouldn't have married her otherwise. No matter how gorgeous she may be - the differences that brought you to deciding to DIVORCE her should always trump a fleeting moment of how pretty / sexy you think she is. My wife is crazy sexy to me - but believe me, if / when we spllt up - NO WAY AM I EVER SIGNING UP FOR THAT SHIT SHOW AGAIN!!

Those thoughts will pass - I've been divorced from my first wife for the better part of 10 years and I NEVER think about her in that way - ever!!

Best of luck with the process - you'll figure out how to deal with the STBXW!!!

DadVader77 · 2023-09-12T21:39:43+00:00

For the first few months, even after I caught on that she was greasing up another guys pole? Sure did.

These past 2 months? No fucking way.

LonelyDadbod4U · 2023-09-13T21:40:07+00:00

Castration may needed in this case.

JasonBourne1965 · 2023-09-14T00:10:33+00:00

Misalignment on values is a deal-killer for most couples - at least ultimately. IMO, no amount of attractiveness will compensate for a values mismatch.

l3tsR0LL · 2023-09-14T04:12:49+00:00

I'm so angry and hurt. But when I watch her walk, goddamn 🤷.

Title	Did you ever feel like getting back together with ur ex?
Author	serendipitySR
Upvotes	20
Comments	51
Date	September 11, 2023 2:27 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16fjfaf/did_you_ever_feel_like_getting_back_together_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/did-you-ever-feel-like-getting-back-together-with.1231141 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231141

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