'Not in love'

ross9888 · 2024-10-19T06:03:55+00:00

I'm going through the exact same thing. I think alot of it is exactly what you said staring at her phone my wife got to the point thats all she did. The problem is there are so many persuasive posts and out right lies on social media. You have married couples that post there perfect marriage when you know for a fact one of them is cheating but at the same time your wife may not. And how those people talk is that they are just as in love as the first day they met. Along with all things is yoy have other women telling women if they aren't happy to grt divorced it's the best thing they ever did. Yet they are the same women whom are at the bar every weekend trying to find a man. Only to get taken home for a night. The in love stage fades over time for everyone i believe but the morals of people and the Outlook on marriage is terrible. It's the till death its till I'm not happy with the life I chose so I want to change it. They say more men regret divorce then women I would disagree most men become a better version of them selves and alot of women self destruct and get into meaningless relationships. But who knows.

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2024-10-17T23:01:45+00:00

Relationship and marriage- really sucks in this so called modern age. Values are gone. Morals are gone. Vows meant nothing. I am so sorry. I know the pain and confusion that you are going through. Most of us here can relate- I can. Try to stay sane at this point. She will continue to “slap ya” until the divorce is over or she gets what she wants. Ugly truth about our modern marriages and divorces.

bennyl23 · 2024-10-17T11:15:26+00:00

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VNM0601 · 2024-10-17T02:01:06+00:00

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Jmovic · 2024-10-16T21:08:41+00:00

. I made every concession. She sat on her ass and stared at her phone, ignoring me for years.

You accept the love you think you deserve

ARocHT11 · 2024-10-16T16:05:37+00:00

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Left-Signature-5250 · 2024-10-16T14:11:05+00:00

The point is: wealth transfer, otherwise who would spend your hard earned cash and pay vat? Your frugal, responsible ass? Gtfo! Sorry bro, it blows. Upside is: you learned a valuable lesson and since you did not mention kids, it was probably cheaper than it could have been.

Just don't do it again.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2024-10-16T12:52:58+00:00

Ahhh code words for the stbxw is cheating. Lawyer up now!

CrazySanta7 · 2024-10-16T11:52:48+00:00

Yep, this is the standard. Be ready for a man in the background. Most women will have a guy lined up before they announce separation/divorce. Don't go digging unless you are prepared to know the truth. At the end of the day, it does not matter.

Get back to pre-marriage you. Hobbies, friends, gym, etc. The process sucks, i'm not going to lie. 80-90% of women initiate separation/divorce. Social media, TV shows, movies have ruined relationships, IMO. Vows mean nothing any longer. Good luck bro

Exactly65536 · 2024-10-16T09:37:46+00:00

She sat on her ass and stared at her phone, ignoring me for years.

Correct way to phrase it is "I tolerated it for years". And now you are out of it. Congratulations.

Subtle-Catastrophe · 2024-10-16T04:18:21+00:00

You don't win by losing.

Reflog1791 · 2024-10-16T03:41:51+00:00

The guys on Dawson’s Creek were buff.

You better be too. Wake up 30 minutes early and go for a walk. Then push-ups. Then hit the gym 3 or 4 days a week. Your bitchy ex wife will be trying to jump your bones and so will other women.

As far as I’m concerned if you’re not banging out push-ups somebody else is.

Tonberry38 · 2024-10-16T02:39:48+00:00

My wife did something similar. She was in love with me but fell out of love with me. She says she can no longer love me the way she is supposed to in a marriage.

Hence our divorce.

cactuscharlie · 2024-10-16T02:15:13+00:00

What does "love" have to do with marriage? Historically, not much. Unfortunately, data if very unforgiving to "feelings'. Marriage is "in sickness or health" "till death do us part".

Not "until I want to fuck my coworker because he's hot and I'm horny and he really wants to fuck me".

Misogyny? This ridiculous word in conjunction with marriage is laughable at best. Again, basic data. How valid would the claim "I fell in love with a misogynist who hates women" be? If that's even a thing, that again, what is love and what does that have to do with marriage? So women really think there's an applicable number of men out there who hate women, but want to get married to them?

Yes I'm a little bit bitter about my wife divorcing me for no practical, or legal reason. I mean, yeah I don't want to fuck you either, and yeah I'd love to fuck the hot girl who likes me, but I'm married. And marriage used to mean something beyond marketable selfishness.

Energy_Turtle_Bill · 2024-10-16T02:04:15+00:00

Sat on her ass and stared at her phone, ignoring me for years.

Did you marry my ex? Because that sounds exactly like the woman I spent so many years with.

steelgripphoenix · 2024-10-16T01:10:21+00:00

Is this fucking Dawson's Creek?

🤣

captainchippsixx · 2024-10-16T01:04:46+00:00

Sounds like she monkey branched to another guy already. Time to walk away fast from her.

Still-Average9690 · 2024-10-16T00:52:16+00:00

I swear we are the same person who married the same jackass. It's actually insane how fucking stupid some people are. Imagine how badly we'd get dragged through the mud if we pulled the shit these women do? I'm sorry brother. Hopefully things work out better for you than they have been for me

modernmanagement · 2024-10-15T23:55:39+00:00

I felt the same way a few weeks ago when my soon to be ex-wife asked to separate. She said the same thing. I understand now that losing that attraction and admiration in a relationship makes it all feel like it's not worth it, and why stay together if it doesn't seem genuine. You are struggling with the sunk cost, you've invested heavily for what ... nothing? Best advice I could give is that you should just forgive her so you can move forward with positivity and not be anchored down with resentment. You are off the hook, you did everything you could, gave it all, did your best, and it wasn't enough. You'll be okay. Get your sails up, fill them with positivity, and push on to the next adventure. It's going to be awesome, you're the master of your own destiny here. You don't have to care about her anymore.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-10-15T23:38:29+00:00

She mentally checked out and found next candidate.

Do you have children?

Upset_Sky_8485 · 2024-10-15T23:34:29+00:00

Sounds familiar. 6 years of paying for a better life for her and my two step kids, and I get left alone with a house I hate (selling) and having to buy and move into a new home... right in the middle of Fall weather getting colder. Not as cold as a woman's heart, but getting there. At least I'm not a utility anymore.

bennyl23 · 2024-10-15T23:34:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	'Not in love'
Author	bennyl23
Upvotes	79
Comments	103
Date	October 15, 2024 11:25 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1g4lhak/not_in_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/not-in-love.1532870 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532870

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