A man with self awareness realizing men are the problem? This is rare.

slipperyfoots · 2021-03-17T18:52:25+00:00

"vulnerability equals permission"

Yeah, to a fucking predator.

thehappiestelephant · 2021-03-17T17:48:43+00:00

Young boys arguing that "vulnerability means permission" is proof that rape culture exists. Where else would they have possibly picked that up.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-03-17T19:09:46+00:00

yeah. men need to call out other men! not pretend that abuse towards women didn't happen or that it is not their problem in their first place!

sexual abuse against women is a man's problem, is a problem generated and perpetuated by men!

Lunarfalcon025 · 2021-03-17T19:06:28+00:00

Oppressors only change their behaviour at the implorement of other, enlightened members of the oppressing class. Women can beg, scream, rage at men about misogyny, but until other men join us at a critical mass things will never change. Men respect men, and it's men's duty to advocate for women at all times, especially when we aren't there to speak up against misogyny or are too vulnerable to do so.

aeschleah · 2021-03-17T18:06:37+00:00

I’ve legit just had an argument with some lowlife because he said he wouldn’t call a friend up for saying, and I quote “abhorrent things about women” because he KNOWS they won’t act on it.

This is what we’re dealing with here, men who laugh at their friends making rape jokes, who are psychic and can see in to the future.

annrike1 · 2021-03-17T21:03:08+00:00

I love seeing this! When I was taking the subway to go to work the doors didnt close and the female underground train driver was asking the people to move away from the door. They didnt and she had to ask again and again. A little boy was saying to his friend "Urrgh these women cant do it right." or something. He was little, maybe 6 or 7 and was speaking this nonse.

She had to get up, go to the children and ask them again in order to make them move.

To this day I am thinking alot about this boy. He was just so young and already part of this f* up system. What kind of mother does he have? Does she know? And what about the father?

I know its not as bad as what he is describing in the video, but still, it haunts me.

r4nd0m-u53r · 2021-03-18T03:56:41+00:00

As a 16 year old virgin I was manipulated and coerced into sex by a 24 year old. He didn't use a condom and turns out he wanted to get me pregnant. To this day I remember how it hurt and he kept telling me to be quiet because his mom was in the other room. 😑. There was zero concern for my wellbeing. I have carried that shame with me for two decades, and have on going issues with sex. I was telling the story to a friend recently and he said "you were raped" and I was like no... And my friend just kept saying no, you didn't want sex and you definitely didn't want a baby. It is a lot for me to unpack now

gingerwabisabi · 2021-03-17T19:28:55+00:00

Yup. And if a man is not receiving backlash from other men on a regular basis for what he says to protect women, then he's not enough of an ally. I say this after watching my husband ditch multiple people (kick them out of guy's nights) and get bullied frequently for simply saying something is not OK, that that joke is terrible, etc.

XASTA123 · 2021-03-17T17:49:16+00:00

I remember reading that book in high school, and it hit me really hard.

jointsbeforesex · 2021-03-17T17:33:55+00:00

Uh! You remind me of this other men: "we are not part of the problem. We ARE the problem" https://www.instagram.com/tv/CLfZsn8HC3K/?igshid=gujerxl96yoj It's in Spanish.

MACMUA · 2021-03-17T19:30:00+00:00

Big d*ck energy... I’m glad he tries to educate and not be defensive

yolosunshine · 2021-03-17T21:31:52+00:00

I’m sorry if any boy in my class had the audacity to say being unable to consent is consent.

His ass would be doing an entire independent study on How Not To Become A Rapist, Part One

Pahapan · 2021-03-18T02:55:45+00:00

Talking about the reality that it's common for 14 year old girls to have been raped made this man tear up and lose composure and that's a level of empathy that the majority of men sadly lack, and that's what's at the root of rape culture. Men know it exists. They know how they benefit from it, how they condone it with their silence, how they participate in it. They simply do not give a shit about girls and women so, to them, it's not actually a problem that needs addressing. Most men don't view us as fully human.

2021-03-17T21:28:24+00:00

That book really hit me when I read it as a teen. The character is only 13 years old when she is raped in the story.

lvoncreek · 2021-03-17T20:45:56+00:00

Men respect and listen to other men only, not women. This is why other men should stop this behaviour.

Greedy_Ad954 · 2021-03-17T19:33:01+00:00

Men: how dare you feminazis talk shit about men!!! I've never raped anyone this is misandry #notallmen!!!!

Also men: well sometimes rape is the woman's fault

SavvyPanther · 2021-03-17T23:17:59+00:00

I’ve taught HS & MS English for a while now and a lot—not all, but a lot—of the men and women I’ve worked with have been very high value people. I’m a firm believer that reading is the #1 way to build empathy and compassion—this guy has the right ideas and I’m glad he’s helping boys in his classroom grow into kinder and more understanding people

twisdom12 · 2021-03-18T05:55:34+00:00

The state we are in....a man simply explaining BASIC morals and respect is the shining light of the current male population. We are doomed.

HornetKick · 2021-03-17T23:04:33+00:00

Men are the reason laws were changed in California. If a woman is not coherent and is not giving consent, it is rape. We needed a law for this?? It's very telling. Men in some states believe they can kidnap a woman and keep her as a sex slave. Then the woman has to fight every year to keep him in jail because they are going to let him out on good behavior? W T F!!!

2021-03-17T22:44:53+00:00

More male teachers like that, please.

real90slike · 2021-03-17T23:34:25+00:00

[deleted]

shutup201 · 2021-03-18T05:36:33+00:00

I wish he would ask the boys why they feel this way and where they got that mentality from. Most of us know or have an idea, but what would the guys say because this is scary. This is boys being boys and they're rapists and heartless predators. By all means, tell them not to rape, but where is this coming from? Analyze that as well.

alexjames_sc · 2021-03-18T06:30:24+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if I should just explain that it's against the law. Truly just show them the subsections for sexual assault and show that whatever activity we're discussing, is simply against the law. Their minds turn off to "that's rape" because "I'm not a rapist" okay, then let's say for arguments sake you aren't a rapist, but is this "normal" action you're describing illegal? Period? Then how he feels about what "rape" is doesn't matter anymore. It's illegal. Done.

Or how in sweden they make accused rapists fight to prove they had consent. They don't make the victim prove there wasn't any.

vacantvivacity · 2021-03-17T22:51:51+00:00

Vulnerability being permission is animalistic logic. Not harming another person is what makes us human

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-18T00:39:52+00:00

It's great that he's taking initiative to bring more awareness to this.

But honestly I feel pain hearing that there is even a debate about whether the rape was her fault. Like how is that even a question. Fucking no it's not her fault. Predators rape, predators fault. It's not her fault. No need to discuss reasons why it'd be her fault. Let's just not even entertain that. Imo.

Artemis-Liberated · 2021-03-18T02:50:01+00:00

I feel like I just learned a new slogan to ward off the days when I feel bad for not being agreeable with men. “Vulnerability does NOT equal permission!”

SkiesEclipse · 2021-03-18T02:56:07+00:00

As depressing as this, at least he is an educator, and he is motivated to teach the next generation of men about rape culture and consent. Whether it will be enough to counteract the messaging of our society...

granatespice · 2021-03-17T22:56:31+00:00

One man’s theoretical debate is another woman’s actual trauma... so maybe it’s not up to conversation

DarnLady · 2021-03-17T22:04:34+00:00

My husband thinks that same way, we're separated but he is a rapist at ❤.

_RustInPiece_ · 2021-03-18T01:31:02+00:00

I mean it's definitely positive that an adult man teaches boys (and girls) that rape is never the victims fault and that it's men's responsibility to hold other men accountable instead if NAMALTing.

But somehow his reaction at 0:37 feels...off?

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-17T23:28:13+00:00

[deleted]

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-03-17T18:23:02+00:00

How nice of him to make our rapes a teaching moment for the little males! Bet those girls with PTSD really loved sitting through that class!

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-03-20T02:37:15+00:00

14!? This teacher is having FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS come and admit to him that they'd been raped....

WHAT in the FUCK.

Title	A man with self awareness realizing men are the problem? This is rare.
Author	real90slike
Upvotes	3250
Comments	137
Date	March 17, 2021 5:07 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m756np/a_man_with_self_awareness_realizing_men_are_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-man-with-self-awareness-realizing-men-are-the.767023 https://theredarchive.com/post/767023

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