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[–]AyemHerselfRuthless Strategist953 points954 points955 points 5 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Why aren't men opening shelters for abused men?
There are strong reasons why shelters shouldn't be mixed sex.
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple375 points376 points377 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I know, it's ridiculous. No one is helping women but ourselves and we're already at a power disadvantage financially, socially and physically. They really think they can send out a group of still widely discriminated people as some kind of slave pokemon to fight for their oppressors' rights. What are we going to do for you if no one is taking us seriously or listening to our own issues? Fight for yourself, isn't that a ”like a man” quality? Can't expect women to be your mommy swooping in and saving the day, cleaning up all the messes and fixing issues for you when we already have too much on our own plate. While boys just sit back relax and invest their time and resources on games and pleasure. We don't have that luxury, so stop asking for our sacrifice, especially when you only seem to wake up and bring up your issues when the focus is on us and not on any other regular day. International men's day is looked up the most during International women's day, can't even give one day to us without you going ”but what about the menz?”. And men completely ignoring when it is about them.
[–]eloiselmaoFDS Newbie179 points180 points181 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
also men are always the first to belittle other men’s abuse experiences. Look at any article where a teenage boy has been in a ‘relationship’ with any older woman like a teacher. Every single man in the comments is like ‘I wish that were me’ or ‘where was she when I was in high school’. They can’t even support other men, they don’t care about the issue they just bring it up at any opportunity to belittle women’s attempts to fight our own.
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie45 points46 points47 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This! I had to argue about this with my own father, because he couldn't grasp the idea that teenage boys don't always have to enjoy sexual advances.
[–]sashimi_girlFDS Newbie126 points127 points128 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
You’re so right! Also like, imagine those survivors. Finally free from their abuser(s) and ready to live in a safe harbor surrounded by other women to heal. They walk in, it’s filled with fucking dudes?
Some people have no empathy.
[–]terrn1981FDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Men have little empathy.
[–]GlitterLoveAngelFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
With the disgusting stuff that they have done and still do, I’m starting to believe they have no empathy at all.
[–]AyemHerselfRuthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not unheard of for abusers to run to a shelter when a woman leaves, claim he was the one abused, and then the shelter is forced to turn her away because he's already there.
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie61 points62 points63 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They don't think that far. Everything must just be about how women get a free pass on everything 🙄
[–][deleted] 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Because they want feminists to do the job, since Feminism is about equality between the sexes. At least that’s what I’ve been hearing.
[–]AyemHerselfRuthless Strategist24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good to know it's not about equality for them!
[–]FabulousGrandFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is just so typically lazy of men... Leaving it up to women as per usual. It makes me increasingly angry how men are just inherently lazy bums. Funny they are never that lazy when it comes to buying a new game or wasting money on crap they never use.
[–]prettyfuckeddFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
we now have to carry everyones rights while still being oppressed lol
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Feminists should never have said they’d fight for equal rights for men and women, but I think they knew that if they didn’t, men would throw a tantrum.
[–]cantstopthemachine77FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know you were speaking about it from their perspective, but I just wanted to say that feminism is NOT about equality of the sexes. It’s about liberating women from male oppression under patriarchy. The whole “equality” narrative is popular among libfems and men, and they use it to divert the focus from women and onto men. It’s not feminisms job to cater to men or their issues when we have so many issues affecting women to tackle.
Men using the equality narrative to advocate for things that are supposedly “unfair” to men is like a burglar complaining that he stubbed his toe in the home he was burglarizing and now claims he’s the victim and that instead of being arrested he should be able to sue the homeowners. Kind of a clunky analogy but it works when you think about it for a sec.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh my goodness what a simple buy amazing reply. Why did I never think of this? Oh yea because men aren’t expected to think about anything outside of themselves or help anyone.
[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie623 points624 points625 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Men never ask male millionaires and billionaires to open men's shelters.
[–]Seasmoke_LVFDS Newbie346 points347 points348 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Because they don't give a shit about them. They just want to shut women's mouths up.
[–]Charming_Mix7930FDS Newbie137 points138 points139 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yes. In my country there was a case of a male victim who ended up getting murdered by his parter (a woman). He tried to report her several times, and the all male police who heard his report dismissed it and laughed at him.
They do not care about victims, just aboyt victimizing themselves.
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie76 points77 points78 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But remember, somehow it's always our fault lol. There were so many cases when women were actually supportive towards male victims and it was the men who laughed at them, but somehow women were still blamed.
[–]Seasmoke_LVFDS Newbie53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Women killed their male partners since the beginning of times, and sometimes is not about self defense, but because they are just entitled monsters, we all know that. But it isn't as usual as men killing women; it's not an "aNyOnE cAn Be AbUSiVe REgaRdLesS oF gENdEr" like the misogynistic manospheraatus like to make it out to be.
I'm so sorry for what happened to that man; as a society we failed him. But to pretend women are not the usual and primary target of DV is not the answer.
[–]Charming_Mix7930FDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not.
I just pointed out how other men are the primary reason men end up murdered in violent relationships: when he tried to get help he got laughed at. I can believe those same policmen are in the "men can be victims too!" Screaming crowd.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh man, that’s so sad.
I hope those pigs got fired and she goes to jail for life.
Edit
[–]lovebun999FDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
This right here. They never did give 2 shits about no men’s shelter... Just want to silence with whatever argument they can think up. Like What kind of sick individual tries to turn a charity for abused women into a reason to complain and play victim?
[–]FabulousGrandFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The irony that men don't give a shit about themselves but lament endlessly about how women don't give a shit about them either. Like, where is the individual responsibility to sort yourself out? When I was made homeless I got off my arse and did what was necessary I didn't sit around saying "ahhh men they don't care about meeeeeeeee" because no one will if you don't do it for yourself.
[–]Poopskirt36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My theory on this is since men commit a vast majority of the violent crimes, a man would probably not be safer in a shelter full of men than he would in a home with one violent woman.
[–]minkeyayeFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men would try to get admitted so they could abuse other men.. and use the excuse about their 'difficult past and emotional damage' as their motive for abuse.
[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never thought of that.
[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie263 points264 points265 points 5 years ago* (17 children) | Copy Link
Whenever Fragile Male Redditors respond to any DV post with "what about all the male victims???" Completely ignoring the fact that men are most likely to experience violence at the hands of other men, I'm always reminded of this quote from Lundy Bancroft's book Why Does He Do That? (emphasis mine):
MYTH #14: There are just as many abusive women as abusive men. Abused men are invisible because they are ashamed to tell. There certainly are some women who treat their male partners badly, berating them, calling them names, attempting to control them. The negative impact on these men’s lives can be considerable. But do we see men whose self-esteem is gradually destroyed through this process? Do we see men whose progress in school or in their careers grinds to a halt because of the constant criticism and undermining? Where are the men whose partners are forcing them to have unwanted sex? Where are the men who are fleeing to shelters in fear for their lives? How about the ones who try to get to a phone to call for help, but the women block their way or cut the line? The reason we don’t generally see these men is simple: They’re rare. I don’t question how embarrassing it would be for a man to come forward and admit that a woman is abusing him. But don’t underestimate how humiliated a woman feels when she reveals abuse; women crave dignity just as much as men do. If shame stopped people from coming forward, no one would tell. Even if abused men didn’t want to come forward, they would have been discovered by now. Neighbors don’t turn a deaf ear to abuse the way they might have ten or twenty years ago. Now, when people hear screaming, objects smashing against walls, loud slaps landing on skin, they call the police. Among my physically abusive clients, nearly one-third have been arrested as a result of a call to the police that came from someone other than the abused woman. If there were millions of cowed, trembling men out there, the police would be finding them. Abusive men commonly like to play the role of victim, and most men who claim to be “battered men” are actually the perpetrators of violence, not the victims. In their efforts to adopt victim status, my clients try to exaggerate their partners’ verbal power: “Sure, I can win a physical fight, but she is much better with her mouth than I am, so I’d say it balances out.” (One very violent man said in his group session, “She stabs me through the heart with her words,” to justify the fact that he had stabbed his partner in the chest with a knife.) But abuse is not a battle that you win by being better at expressing yourself. You win it by being better at sarcasm, put-downs, twisting everything around backward, and using other tactics of control—an arena in which my clients win hands down over their partners, just as they do in a violent altercation. Who can beat an abuser at his own game?
MYTH #14: There are just as many abusive women as abusive men. Abused men are invisible because they are ashamed to tell.
There certainly are some women who treat their male partners badly, berating them, calling them names, attempting to control them. The negative impact on these men’s lives can be considerable. But do we see men whose self-esteem is gradually destroyed through this process? Do we see men whose progress in school or in their careers grinds to a halt because of the constant criticism and undermining? Where are the men whose partners are forcing them to have unwanted sex? Where are the men who are fleeing to shelters in fear for their lives? How about the ones who try to get to a phone to call for help, but the women block their way or cut the line? The reason we don’t generally see these men is simple: They’re rare.
I don’t question how embarrassing it would be for a man to come forward and admit that a woman is abusing him. But don’t underestimate how humiliated a woman feels when she reveals abuse; women crave dignity just as much as men do. If shame stopped people from coming forward, no one would tell. Even if abused men didn’t want to come forward, they would have been discovered by now. Neighbors don’t turn a deaf ear to abuse the way they might have ten or twenty years ago. Now, when people hear screaming, objects smashing against walls, loud slaps landing on skin, they call the police. Among my physically abusive clients, nearly one-third have been arrested as a result of a call to the police that came from someone other than the abused woman. If there were millions of cowed, trembling men out there, the police would be finding them.
Abusive men commonly like to play the role of victim, and most men who claim to be “battered men” are actually the perpetrators of violence, not the victims. In their efforts to adopt victim status, my clients try to exaggerate their partners’ verbal power: “Sure, I can win a physical fight, but she is much better with her mouth than I am, so I’d say it balances out.” (One very violent man said in his group session, “She stabs me through the heart with her words,” to justify the fact that he had stabbed his partner in the chest with a knife.) But abuse is not a battle that you win by being better at expressing yourself. You win it by being better at sarcasm, put-downs, twisting everything around backward, and using other tactics of control—an arena in which my clients win hands down over their partners, just as they do in a violent altercation. Who can beat an abuser at his own game?
[–][deleted] 149 points150 points151 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There's studies that prove this too
Although some people claim that men are too embarrassed to admit a woman has abused them, the reverse is actually true: in self-reported research, men tend to over-estimate their partner’s violence while under-estimating their own. At the same time, women over-estimate their own violence and under-estimate their partner’s. This explains why self-reported research often shows similar levels of violence by men and women, even though other research clearly shows that women are disproportionately the victim.
https://canadianwomen.org/the-facts/gender-based-violence/
[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Excellent addition, thank you for this study!
This literally reduces down to a male mindset of "she tried to hold me accountable for my words and actions and that's ACTUALLY abuse :(:(:( When my needs aren't front and center or she's not constantly accommodating me, it's like attempted murder of my feelings :(:(:("
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men are fucking mental; for them abuse is when a rando woman rejects their creepy advances and unsolicited dick pics, that's how goddamn fragile and oversensitive they are.
[–]rightascensi0nFDS Newbie120 points121 points122 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That book is incredible and I bet Lundy Bancroft has saved the lives of countless women from awful men.
Disheartening and telling how men rarely speak up about male victims of domestic violence unless it’s to silence or belittle female victims’ experiences or resources.
[–]hazelbroomFDS Newbie107 points108 points109 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
This book makes me think Johnny Depp is an abuser. His typical victimhood behaviour seems very familiar as an abuse victim myself but so many people I know believe him. Despite him admitting kicking and headbutting his wife in court, the recordings where he holds a knife at her saying he'll cut himself and the recordings where he doesn't deny any of the strangulation and battery.
It's so trendy and PC to pretend men are equal victims if a woman ever slaps him despite whatever he did to her. Acknowledging male pattern violence is taboo in many circles and predatory men know they benefit from the suspicion put on abuse victims by their false accusation bullshit. And Pick-mes jump over themselves to coddle grown men who claim a woman abused him, it's such an effective strategy for men to use. The rhetoric about males and females being exactly the same is part of the backlash by men using feminism against women, like pretending men can become women so they shouldn't be excluded from women's sports and refuges and pretending women should approach dating just like men do.
[–]sugaredberryFDS Newbie64 points65 points66 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
OMG SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT. SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT. Thank you. Thank you because it drives me insane as hell that people actually believe his ass.
[–][deleted] 46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
The coverage of this case seems so cold and calculated. I 100% believe johnny is an abuser and is doing everything in his power to destroy amber right now. The recorded call where she is like "no one will believe you" is awful, but I believe he is the alpha abuser in this scenario.
[–]sugaredberryFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
One reason I believe Amber is take a look at how he was with Winona Ryder. Tattooing her name and stuff. Reeks of love bombing. He’s the common denominator there
[–][deleted] 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes. Like what he has publicly admitted to is A LOT. Why would we think he's some dopey good guy when he's admitted for decades hes a "bad boy"?
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]FewButterscotch6FDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That's also the part that makes me think Johnny Depp is guiltier than the current story is leading people to believe. I think Amber Heard is a violent and abusive person who attracts violent and abusive men because they know they can hide and justify their abuse towards her behind her track record. Both Johnny and Elon are very low-key and calculated with their assholery while Amber is just a tornado of obvious dysfunction. Throw in the fact that both of these men are in shape and much, much stronger than the average woman and you have a case of a predatory woman being the perfect target for an image-conscious predatory man. All of her public behavior is the perfect cover for their private behavior.
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Amber Heard just knows how to stand up for herself. Depp knew he was recording so he switched to the calm man just trying not to get hurt.
[–]cupittycakesFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My mind exploded multiple times, thank you.
She said so much!
[–]PottyMouthxFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm fairly sure they're both abusive, Amber being the worse for both variety and intensity of violence.
Amber also abused a housekeeper/assistant (woman) who testified against her at the court.
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
If true that's the only thing anyone should be outraged about, and now im more upset ppl feel for Depp more than a woman. However, I feel like she was paid by Depp to say that. Plus, Amber Heard has constantly been falsely accused of being abusive by men, she was arrested for hitting he ex-wife at an airport and even her ex said that it was just men trying to assume power over her. Which makes sense bc Amber Heard is absolutely stunning and seeing her with a woman would piss some ppl off including police who are known for being insecure man babies. I think Depp knew about this false police arrest and harassed her until she snapped and he could use the false arrest as evidence of a "pattern"
[–]ponchoacademyFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dang.. The book sounded familiar, just checked my bookcase and I have it. A friend gave it to me after a particularly bad breakup several years ago (plot twist, it was his mother) but my life was so upside down that I never got around to reading it.
Your post just convinced me I need to read it ASAP.
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie300 points301 points302 points 5 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link
women need to support women, he can start his own shit if he wants to help men out. women have no responsibility to help men, especially considering the massive wealth gap men are more than capable of helping eachother. every cent a woman donates should help women first and foremost
[–]kittyopuppyFDS Newbie[S] 117 points118 points119 points 5 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link
We are damned if we do, damned if we dont
[–]greenrosepdtlFDS Newbie57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
There was a really good comic about this. It was a box with a bunch of sort of round smileys smushed together. Maybe 3 were pink the rest were white. The white ones kept harassing the pinks saying they dont belong in the box. So the pinks left and started their own box. Then the white got mad for being excluded so the pinks let them into their new box. As soon as it was filled with mostly whites they started at it again "you dont fit in, you dont belong here". That's what I feel like exactly happens here. Women get excluded so we start our own versions then men get mad they arent allowed in. Then they get allowed in and immediately blame all the problems on the women in the organization and say it would be better of they weren't there. So the cycle continues.
[–]XiekoFDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank god for this pink-only sub.
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women get excluded so we start our own versions then men get mad they arent allowed in
Isn't that FDS in a nutshell XD Men are sooooo mad that they can't hurl their vitriol here, that they go around making new accounts and DMing us with their misogyny.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]minkeyayeFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've been seeing a lot of complaints lately about men commenting or DM'ing abusive shit to posters over on TwoXChromosomes so they had to start yet another women's only sub.
[–]FabulousGrandFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is it, I found it for you
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie86 points87 points88 points 5 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link
also i dont know if this is the right thing to say, and i tend to keep this deep in the back of my head. women hitting men is usually her getting fed up with his bs, and is never life threatening. i would get it if she legit has a psychotic disorder and obtains a weapon but there's already a system in place to handle extreme cases like that which don't involve a man needing to flee his residence
[–]hazelbroomFDS Newbie123 points124 points125 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
In Why Does He Do That Lundy Bancroft says the vast majority of men claiming to have been abused by women are actually the abuser. It is one of his red flags to be aware of when dating. Abusive men DARVO and play the victim at the drop of a hat - The Victim is a common type of abuser he describes in the book. Their abuse can make the woman act crazy (and develop mental disorders) in front of other people while he remains calm after provoking her. We play into the hands of abusive men whenever we pretend abuse is a gender-neutral crime to seem politically correct.
Be particularly careful with a man who claims to have been the victim of physical violence by a previous female partner. The great majority of men who make such claims are physical abusers. Ask him for as much detail as you can about the violent incidents, and then try to talk to her or seek out anyone else who could give you a different perspective on what happened. Pay attention to how he talks and thinks about abused women. A genuine male victim tends to feel sympathy for abused women and support their cause. The Victim, on the other hand, often says that women exaggerate or fabricate their claims of abuse or insists that men are abused just as much as women are.
Be particularly careful with a man who claims to have been the victim of physical violence by a previous female partner. The great majority of men who make such claims are physical abusers. Ask him for as much detail as you can about the violent incidents, and then try to talk to her or seek out anyone else who could give you a different perspective on what happened.
Pay attention to how he talks and thinks about abused women. A genuine male victim tends to feel sympathy for abused women and support their cause. The Victim, on the other hand, often says that women exaggerate or fabricate their claims of abuse or insists that men are abused just as much as women are.
[–]cupittycakesFDS Newbie81 points82 points83 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I had an ex who I pulled a knife on. I didn't point it at him, stood behind the counter/island 15 ft away from him, didn't threaten to kill him.
I pulled the knife out to stop him from slamming my head on the ground and choking me again, so he wouldn't dare come near me and touch me again... Bc yes I would have cut his ass if he did
We were both drunk af and heated. Not typical behavior for either of us...
He went and told everyone, evvvveryone, that the reason we broke up is bc I pulled a knife on him and tried to kill him... He tried to get a restraining order on me with that reason.
Granted I did try and try and beg (think call, call, call way obsessively) to have a final conversation/closure with him bc he picked up and ghosted after that fight, after 7 years together... I was devastated then but I'm thankful he left today and I learned to never even CRY in front of a dude if he wants to go, much less beg like a little bitch... Hard lesson, I loved his ass🤷♀️
Cops come to my door, I tell them it was in self defense... They understand bc the man was made of muscle...
In his eyes, I'm sure he still thinks he was "abused and threatened" to this day
I left that town and life behind and went to his number one favorite University that he would be far too dumb to ever get accepted into 😝😁
[–]XetaKalzeeFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m sorry that you had been in that situation. It isn’t your fault. I hate guys who try to play the victim. Your ex is definitely the aggressor. It’s good that he left. He isn’t worth your attention or your amicable friendship. There is nothing wrong with what you did.
[–]Davina33FDS Apprentice36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is an excellent book. I read it a few years back on my Kindle. Think it's time for a refresher. I have to say having a violent, possessive and alcoholic stepfather has helped me to see the signs in other men. They really do destroy your life, my mother was an easy target because she was in care and had an abusive childhood. Every woman must read this book and also Gavin De Beckers' Gift Of Fear.
[–]Seasmoke_LVFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They are sure that women lied about these issues because it's what they do or would do.
[–][deleted] 18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
WOW this really opened my mind. I've always had an "off" feeling about men who claim to have been abused. This explains why.
[–]sugaredberryFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for posting. Love that book!!!
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Generally, male victims of domestic violence are more likely to empathize with female victims and acknowledge the disparity in gendered violence, rather than run around screeching "not all men" any time someone mentions women's shelters.
It's also similar for sexual assault. The vast majority of male sexual assault victims were assaulted by other men, and the unique trauma-informed care & support they need to receive advocates for the exact same destruction of patriarchical norms as women's rights advocacy, because both are rooted in male supremacy and violence.
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
women can't always leave their abusers or are so emotionally strained they dont feel the need to until they snap
[+]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie-9 points-8 points-7 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I realize this. There is a lot of grey area and I understand the fact that women can get backed into corners, and i am glad that we as a gender are doing our best to take care of each other.
I have been there, and although I've never hit anyone, I have certainly lashed out, been embarrassed by my actions and learned that it is not behavior that should be excused or taken lightly.
It shouldn't. So don't. Men probably do need shelters, but men getting angry about women not helping men enough, while doing absolutely nothing about it themselves is the issue. Its not the time or place to be disenfranchising toxic behavior and playing the 'which is worse' game. Some men are abused, and they need to work it out for themselves how to deal with it, without taking it out on their therapist mommy wives.
[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There's a short article by Bancroft here related to this, "Am I the Abusive One?".
I think this is a decent metric to figure out if "lashing out" was abusive or just a non-abusive but potentially unhealthy expression of anger or self-defense. The problem is people classify any angry response as abuse (or the imaginary "mutual abuse" which does not exist), ignoring that whether something is abusive is heavily dependent on the greater context of the relationship and multiple other factors.
If you scream and yell once in a while that does not mean that you are crazy or abusive (though he may say so). It depends on whether you are yelling degrading things, whether your partner is intimidated by you, whether you are yelling to control him (versus yelling to resist his control), and many other factors. You may still wonder, “But what if he really isn’t the destructive one, and I am? How would I know?” Here’s how: He’s kind to you most of the time, and he treats you reasonably decently even when he’s mad or upset with you. He takes responsibility for his own actions, not frequently blaming them on you or on stress or other excuses. And he doesn't get scary. He has asked you repeatedly, and in a decent and thoughtful way (not in a stream of put-downs) to change specific behaviors of yours, and you seem to keep returning to doing those things he has asked you not to do. He has shown willingness to work on things you want him to work on, and has taken real steps regarding those issues (not just making promises).
If you scream and yell once in a while that does not mean that you are crazy or abusive (though he may say so). It depends on whether you are yelling degrading things, whether your partner is intimidated by you, whether you are yelling to control him (versus yelling to resist his control), and many other factors.
You may still wonder, “But what if he really isn’t the destructive one, and I am? How would I know?” Here’s how:
He’s kind to you most of the time, and he treats you reasonably decently even when he’s mad or upset with you.
He takes responsibility for his own actions, not frequently blaming them on you or on stress or other excuses. And he doesn't get scary.
He has asked you repeatedly, and in a decent and thoughtful way (not in a stream of put-downs) to change specific behaviors of yours, and you seem to keep returning to doing those things he has asked you not to do.
He has shown willingness to work on things you want him to work on, and has taken real steps regarding those issues (not just making promises).
[–]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hey thank you! That was a little bit more insightful than I'm comfortable with, but I will certainly look into it more.
I have a hard time wrapping my head around the statement that a women hitting a guy is just not that bad, and sincerely that is what I was responding to.
All we can control is our own actions and reactions and i am still learning this the hard way. So thank you for the information.
[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No problem. It's deliberately really murky territory due to the prevalence of a sort of "male entitlement" mindset, so we're all conditioned to different degrees to not see it.
Keep in mind that abusive relationships are a completely different beast from non-abusive relationships. A woman hitting a guy in an abusive relationship is a completely different context from a (previously) non-abusive one. It's all about examining closely for any power and control tactics on display.
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i'm just not interested rn in wasting time entertaining a fantasy men perpetuate as a "gotcha" to keep women from discussing our safety. if it actually does happen, men can work on that themselves. we don't have a norm of abusing men we need to address amongst ourselves or a responsibility to empathize with men when women are in need of help
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
😂😂😂😂watered down af
[–]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie-2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Why do you say that? Because I'm holding girls to the high standard we set for ourselves by not justifying bad, toxic behavior? Because look at that LVM, he had it coming? He deserved it?
Let me tell ya, LVMs looooove when girls lose their shit and freak out. Because now, the girl is the crazy bitch girlfriend and he is now the martyr, she has lost any credibility she had for the moment, and being petty and reactive is just bad for your headspace.
Just fucking leave him.
If it is the case of she can't, I feel for those women. I have no easy answer and that is not the point of this discussion.
But for the cases that he is a typical LVM and will only toy with girls and gaslight them and make them crazy while not technically doing anything illegal, leave before you lose your shit.
Justifying shitty behavior, whether warranted or not, is counter intuitive. Grey rock him and leave, but don't act like girls burning clothes because he cheated, or slapping him on the arm and yelling and screaming is acceptable, because its not.
[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
don't act like girls burning clothes because he cheated, or slapping him on the arm and yelling and screaming is acceptable, because its not.
Lol who is saying this is acceptable
We're discussing men who straight up beat and threaten to murder women so those women are forced to flee and hide in shelters and you're out here going to bat for some imaginary dude's possessions and asking why abuse victims "don't just leave"
Yeah peace out and ghost him if he can't plan a date or cheats on you but abused women get murdered regularly for shit like "ghost block delete" they need a support network and a plan
[–]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie-2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Nah i got it.
I'm not going out to bat for an imaginary man, I just think it's tacky and counter intuitive to say hitting a man isn't a big deal.
But as mentioned in another comment, there are certainly a lot more variables in making judgements on whats a reasonable response vs what constitutes abuse.
So thanks for not being assholes, I appreciate the education and obviously still have much to learn.
[–]Adventurous_Rise_307FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I won’t say it’s acceptable, but a woman hitting a man is VERY different from a man hitting a woman.
With one, you’re worried about a red mark. With the other, you’re worried about DYING. A man can literally kill a woman with ONE HIT of his fist. No woman can say the same when the script is flipped.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Who justifies shitty behavior? Anyway I just can't be fucked to care about male folks picking better partners for themselves or their relationships. That's not what anyone is even here for. Quit ya virtue signaling and come back when ur ready to center women over men.
[–]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok, thanks. Message well received, I realized my argument qwas not coming from a good place, and have appreciated the time taken to educate my in a non confrontational manner. Truly it has made an impact and helped me see things a lot clearer at this point.
I was not trying to virtue signal, I was simply kind of out grossed out by an opinion I perceived as slightly hypocritical about it being no biggie for a girl to hit a dude. There's a little too much schadenfreude in that mindset, and i am doing my best not to be a toxic asshole. But everyone is entitled to their feelings, and i realize, as mentioned, my comments were coming from the wrong perspective.
I admit there is obviously a ton of nuances to every situation where violence occurs. I also understand that one gender is far stronger than the other so there is certainly a power dynamic, but any violence, whether warrented, provoked or in self defense should not be taken lightly and is kind of a big deal. Period. That's all I commented on. We can not control how people treat us, only how we react to these things.
Thank you for taking the time to comment on this, and I appreciate your honesty.
[–]Fatt3stAveng3rFDS Apprentice134 points135 points136 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Rihanna was an abuse survivor herself, it doesn't surprise me that she'd do this.
[–]Davina33FDS Apprentice56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yes she is and I remember seeing her photo in one of the MGTOW groups, the men there were mocking her and blaming her for dating Chris Brown. Arseholes.
[–]talldrankofH2OFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It always makes me roll my eyes when people talk about Chris Brown & go out of their way to side with him as an abuser. Men really need to stfu
[–]zecountessFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I also detest the fact that the shithead has a career at all. Some recent song of his popped up randomly on YT music and I’m listening to super toxic/misogynistic fuckboi bs so I check who it is... Chris Brown. Can he just go away and never open his mouth again?
[–]prettyfuckeddFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dont get why other women still make songs with Chris Brown. I mean, how can you face Riri after that ? Blatant disrespect.
[–]PottyMouthxFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah because men come with warranty.
[–]howdoilogouttFDS Newbie106 points107 points108 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Why can't we speak out and do things for women without a man moaning!? This is why I hate it when we try to pander to men and say feminism is all about gender equality not making women better. Why can't we care for women? Is this not allowed 😂
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
They moan but take no positive action. They are negative asshats that crave our attention yet again. They are too lazy or apathetic to help each other. They are only offended because the word "man" is nowhere to be found in the article. They blame us for their lack of empathy in general. What a time to be a women. They're just mad because we are putting our feet down and beginning to do something about this bullshit
[–]howdoilogouttFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes exactly!
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was just thinking about something like this today. We need to figure out how to seriously start protecting ourselves these days. This is really going to get men dangerously angry
[–]user728282FDS Newbie73 points74 points75 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
then get your own male Rihanna to fund for your own male shelters geeeeez
[–][deleted] 31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
men get chris brown. play a low value game, get a low value prize.
[–]NihilisticBuddhismFDS Newbie67 points68 points69 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t mean to be rude but ask your male millionaires to open a male only shelter.
Don’t try to interfere with ours.
[–]3dkanojoFDS Newbie122 points123 points124 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
maybe a famous man should care enough about his fellow men to help out? surely enough? no? not surprised.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
seriously
[–]Hour_ScarcityFDS Newbie93 points94 points95 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then let a man step forward and create a shelter for battered men.
[–]Thr0waway0864213579FDS Newbie102 points103 points104 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
And it’s somehow Rihanna’s fault, and not the thousands of male celebrities who haven’t done anything. Women are always being held responsible for men being useless.
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
It's proof that we have been taking over all of the emotional labor for far too long
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
We definitely are waking up... which is wonderful. But we need to be ready to handle amped up male rage. It's going to be an epic battle ahead. It's definitely worth it though
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
That is a good point. Narcissism is a tricky thing to try to fix. It may be possible to prevent the development of the disorder through proper parenting of our children. But what can we do with the preexisting problem?
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Oh, they would fight to the death to preserve their egos. They are pitiful. Sad thing is, narcissism runs very high in my family. It's a nightmare
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, FDS is a great community to have <3
[–]KountChalkulaPickmeisha™️1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Unfortunately, I've known plenty of narcissistic/misogynistic dudes who have done/still regularly take psychedelics. Wish it were a solution though. :/
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men: But what about men?
Me: What about them? 🙄
[–]SweetlikecreamFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why the fuck can't male millionaires help men out then? Go Rihanna ❤️❤️❤️
[–]vereelimeeFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So ridiculous. Men don't need shelters to the same degree because they aren't targets.
Even women living in shelters are at a higher risk. They have been followed from shelters and attacked because they are viewed as no one caring about their well being.
Men's shelters do exist. However, men do tend to be homeless more out of choice because they will not experience the same rates of violence living on the streets. Also because they do not want to abide by rules in place at shelters commonly including no drug or alcohol usage and a curfew.
Feeding hungry and homeless communities, I rarely saw women living on the street. They are rarely banned from shelters and soup kitchens for bad behavior. That is not the case for men who blame the people in charge for 'not liking them'.
[–]PurpleProboscisFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I fucking hate when people try to discredit acts of service by saying, "I know you helped some people, but you really couldn't have helped all people? Then what's even the point?"
First of all, it's downright disrespectful to the effort and thought put in to begin with. Second, it's not any one person's job to fix all the wrongs in the world, not that it's even possible. People can fix what they see or have experienced because that's how we build empathy at a community level. But most importantly, it sets up people to think their small acts of service aren't worth anything, which couldn't be farther from the truth. These people are the worst
[–]hellau1234FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too. I hate it when people are like: “why are you only helping XXX?”
Be glad that they are helping someone! If everyone would help someone in the end everyone would get help. But no, let’s be assholes and sit on our fat asses and complain how someone who’s spending lots of money to help the needy, needs to do more.
[–]BabyGothQFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve said this 100 times, I’ll say this 100 times more:
Men, if you want the same “benefits” as women, DO IT YOUR FUCKING SELF.
Do they know how much pushback and outright vitriol women have had to contend with for every “benefit” women have now?!
Obviously not, since they still think women have more rights even though we’re literally carrying the load of the fucking world. And all their laundry.
[–]kittyopuppyFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
[–]dahmerloveszombiesFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
well then men can open their own shelters. no one gave these to us. women had to organize and open DV and rape crisis centers on our own. these fucking crybabies can do the same.
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Amazingly I haven't heard one story of a man murdered by his wife during quarantine 🤔
[–]FitncurlyFDS Apprentice27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe rich men should donate and make shelters for abused men then, stop looking to “mommy” for help. But it won’t happen because men don’t care about each other, they just don’t want to see women help each other either (ESPECIALLY if it’s help getting away from men!).
[–]uwubewwaFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This isn't about abused men, it's about abused women. Some are terrified of men because of the abuse they suffered, there have to be shelters separated by gender. I'm very grateful that Rihanna did this, she helped people more than this anonymous person ever could.
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, all 3 of them.
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She’s is a shining example of how to high value. As a survivor of domestic violence, she rose above it and used her experience as a way to learn how to help others.
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Rihanna is funding shelters for women. Y'all made chris brown, you can have whatever charity work he does.
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It's emasculating for men to help each other out or to seek help. They expect us to do it or otherwise we are evil and uncaring. I think they need to just cut that shit out and make a change. Or is that just too much for them? If women weren't there for each other throughout history, would we even still be around? Surely by now, men know that women stick together. My ex used to complain about it like it was such a bad thing. I just looked at him like he was crazy. He didn't like that very much. But it it weren't for the things men tend to do to us, the additional support wouldn't be so needed.
This shit is just another thing for scrotes to complain about. If there were men's shelters, maybe Rihannia would fund it. Who knows
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
When the dude hates your female friends for no logical reason, it's always a huge red flag for me..
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes, definitely. My ex even went as far as pointing out women out in the parking lot while we were out. "Just look at her. She walks and dresses like a real bitch." 💬
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Omg that's so weird, I'm glad he's your ex now.
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seriously weird. Thanks, I am too
[–]Davina33FDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Rihanna is amazing! She is always doing great things like this.
[–]throwawayathrowaway0FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't deny that there are men who are DV victims during quarantine, but this is her money, her time, her effort, and her history. Let her do what makes her happy.
[–]munissaFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My eyes are rolling.
[–]Disastrous_236FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't mean to be rude I just mean to invalidate the struggles of millions of women ♥♥♥
[–]lifeyjaneFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Come ON!!!
Rihanna was nearly MURDERED and she’s not allowed to donate her own money to women like her without people criticizing her with “But what about men”???
Come ON! Tone deaf. Self-absorbed. Missing the point.
[–]amandine_tangerineFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then maybe a male millionaire should help them.. or they don't care..?
[–]manisfestationqueenFDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey men! Maybe this is your chance to help him out! You can donate yourself if you are so concerned. There's many organizations that will take your $. Maybe ask celebrity men to help, I promise they have plenty of money.
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
wHaT aBoUt MeN?!!!🙃
[–]PottyMouthxFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Funny how whenever a woman does something, men think it's a negotiation and they have a say.
Where are men and men's rights activists when men need help?
[–]Mbg1408975 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The way a man can make a woman feel when her perception of a man violently cowers over her warps her entire perception is something people like this will never grasp or understand. This person needs some serious educating. I’m sick of men speaking on things that they aren’t vastly effected by. Being a woman is hard a lot of the time. I feel as a woman that I’m not taken anywhere near as serious as a man.
[–]CarrCamille22FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So fucking self-centered. Women have fought for their own safe spaces and men think they can just demand that we make efforts on their behalf.
[–]sorshiiFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ah yes, the 3 men this happened to during quarantine
[–]zecountessFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I swtfg this happens every time someone does something for women and I hate it. I’m all for equal rights but why tf do they have to step on someone who needs the help getting the help and squealing about how they too need help like... shut up. Like someone said here, why aren’t men opening shelters for abused men if that’s such a huge problem that needs solving??? Stop stepping on women who’re forced to live with DV esp now during lockdown receiving much needed help. Not denying it doesn’t happen to men, but I hate these people making everything about themselves
[–]terrn1981FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men expect women/feminist to fix their issues and fight for their rights.. Men will whine there are no shelters for men, but DO nothing to get them or fight for them.
Just complain women have shelters, but disregard the years of fighting women did to get them.
Should just fall into their laps like everything else has in history..or have women take care of their issues while they play video games.
[–]MessiDannie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The idea that we are even having this conversation is insane... this idea that all have to be included when taking care of a vulnerable population is insane.
[–]GenerousD-mensionsFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've seen so many men commenting on female celebrities' posts about donating to or supporting organisations that help women experiencing/fleeing DV during the pandemic like this. Weirdly, you never see any of them in the comments of their favourite male celebs' posts "raising awareness" and encouraging them to do the same thing for male DV survivors like they do on women's!
[–]moxymoxaloneFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can bet that if there were a need for men’s DV shelters, they would already exist.
[–]carachuFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I saw a guy the other day say 70% of domestic abuse is the result of women hitting men...i dont think thats the case. Not to say it doesnt happen, but thats not the case
[–]sadcelloFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask your male idols Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk or Warren Buffet or other filthy male billionaires then. 5mil is like buying candy for them. Fucking males always hogging on and feeling entitled of female resources.
[–]BushGhoul3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I understand men go through it too, but then why don't you start opening shelters for men?
[–]MalloryDameFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't mean to be rude but. Sit. Down.
[–]immortallogicFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol this comment is so utterly ridiculous and narcissistic and as usual, derails to "wHaT aBoUt MeN". That it doesn't even warrant being talked about.
[–]greensciencegeekFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
well Johnny Depp could do something...
[–]throwaway23004345FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Chile..... anyways
[–]postapopalopticFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t mean to be rude, and I know I literally never mention women’s issues or do literally anything to support them, but why aren’t we talking about men?
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Um, yes, you do mean to be rude.
[–]gwen-heart1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When I told a man that men can build shelters for themselves, he said that a feminist group shut it down. So? How many women’s shelters haven’t been in danger because their location was disclosed or has to constantly defend itself from being shut down?
I hate that abused men are used as props and for arguments sake women can’t do anything to help themselves because they aren’t doing it for everyone. Women are truly expected to do free emotionally and physical labor for everyone else.
[–]ErikaNaumannFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They can go and ask their hero millionaire Dan Bilzarian to build a men's shelter. I'm sure he cares.
[–]juliet-eliaFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There's never someone mentioning that when it could actually change shit. Only when women are affected. Always. Because they can't stand it when the world doesn't evolve around them.
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[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]minkeyayeFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FabulousGrandFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie86 points87 points88 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]hazelbroomFDS Newbie123 points124 points125 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]cupittycakesFDS Newbie81 points82 points83 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]XetaKalzeeFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Davina33FDS Apprentice36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Seasmoke_LVFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sugaredberryFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[+]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie-9 points-8 points-7 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]adertinaFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie-2 points-1 points0 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]boughsmoresilentFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie-2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Adventurous_Rise_307FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cyanexttuesdaykthxFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fatt3stAveng3rFDS Apprentice134 points135 points136 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Davina33FDS Apprentice56 points57 points58 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]talldrankofH2OFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]zecountessFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]prettyfuckeddFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PottyMouthxFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]howdoilogouttFDS Newbie106 points107 points108 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]howdoilogouttFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]user728282FDS Newbie73 points74 points75 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 31 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NihilisticBuddhismFDS Newbie67 points68 points69 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]3dkanojoFDS Newbie122 points123 points124 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hour_ScarcityFDS Newbie93 points94 points95 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Thr0waway0864213579FDS Newbie102 points103 points104 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie53 points54 points55 points (10 children) | Copy Link
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[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KountChalkulaPickmeisha™️1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice55 points56 points57 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SweetlikecreamFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vereelimeeFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PurpleProboscisFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]hellau1234FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BabyGothQFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kittyopuppyFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dahmerloveszombiesFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist43 points44 points45 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FitncurlyFDS Apprentice27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]uwubewwaFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]suspended_animation_FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Davina33FDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayathrowaway0FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]munissaFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Disastrous_236FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lifeyjaneFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]amandine_tangerineFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]manisfestationqueenFDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PottyMouthxFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mbg1408975 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CarrCamille22FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sorshiiFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zecountessFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]terrn1981FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MessiDannie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GenerousD-mensionsFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]carachuFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sadcelloFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BushGhoul3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MalloryDameFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]immortallogicFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greensciencegeekFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway23004345FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]postapopalopticFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gwen-heart1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ErikaNaumannFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]juliet-eliaFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link