Dude makes 6x more and refuses to adjust the 50/50 budget

karabnp · 2021-08-28T14:23:45+00:00

This is a beautiful, shining example of why I will never live with, OR share expenses/a budget with a man.🤢🤮 In EVERY prior through current relationship of mine, bills/finances stay the hell SEPARATE. SEPARATE ACCOUNTS.

purasangria · 2021-08-28T11:29:50+00:00

She needs to get a female roommate and leave.

This is why FDS emphasizes education and financial independence. He's doing this on purpose. She can't save up any money, so she can't leave. He refuses to cut back or adjust the budget so that he pays a larger share. He's leeching off her. If she moves out, he has to pay the whole thing

She's in a bit of a tough spot, since $12 an hour isn't enough to live alone, so she may have to move back home or something. But it's better than being a bangmaid to a leech.

cliterally_speaking · 2021-08-28T13:29:53+00:00

According to OP they’ve been together for 6 years, and at one point he was homeless and living in a warehouse. SHE SUPPORTED HIM to get him out of that situation 🤦🏽‍♀️

Edited to add: She states this in one of her comments on the original post. You’ll have to find the post then check the OPs comment history.

08__80 · 2021-08-28T13:31:48+00:00

I get so angry at the adults in these women's lives who COULD have taught them these important life skills (like not being taken advantage of by a gold-digging man) but chose not to, because gaslighting the woman into believing that she would be an absolutely worthless lump of flesh without a man was more important. The fact that the man is making her life objectively worse? * BIG SHRUG *

CanadianRadFeminist · 2021-08-28T13:36:41+00:00

Good God I can't even imagine this level of audacity. How the fuck is it fair to her that she is scrimping and going without, while he saves tons of money and has lots left over for luxuries? What kind of partner would even be okay seeing their partner struggling and not being able to save, while they live the good life? Men like this are incredibly selfish and they do not care about your wellbeing at all.

You are better off living at home or with a female roommate then with a 50/50 man. Because it's not truly 50/50... men almost always consume more toiletries, more food, more orgasms, more everything. And at that point YOU are subsidizing HIM. FDS may get a lot of flack for this but this is what 50/50 almost always ends up looking like.

Mcccy · 2021-08-28T11:26:53+00:00

Why any woman even agrees to 50/50? Like he buys his buddies stuff yet wants you to do 50/50? Sis he doesn't give a DAMN about you.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-08-28T16:43:08+00:00

Yikes, I was almost put into this trap. A guy I was seeing to figure out if he was worth being my bf, made 70k a year. He just bought his own place two bedrooms and bathroom. At the time I was still a student barely breaking 20k. He wanted to go 50/50 on our future dates after 6 months.

When I said no he went ballistic! Called me a gold digger. Said that I’m taking advantage of him because he makes more than me. Broke up with me on the spot. Called me back a few hours later to apologize and start over. I ghosted him. All I could say was that he showed his face and there was no going back from this.

Lonlinessandtitties · 2021-08-28T13:43:01+00:00

My ex was like this. And years ago, a younger, dumber me posted something very similar to this on Reddit. The comments were vicious, saying things like I should be happy to be with a man making so much and I was just a gold digger. I was making ~$75k, and he was making about four times that. He refused to live in any of the places I found for reasonable costs because he could afford it. He wanted a 3500sqft house, though he never cleaned a single sq in. They told me I didn't deserve a big home and he'd find a better woman who wouldn't complain. When we moved in, it was the final straw. I stopped contributing altogether. He refused to buy furniture so we had four empty bedrooms, an empty dining room, etc. When I moved out it looked like how the Grinch stole Christmas. What little furniture there was was mine. He was livid "You could've left me with something!". I even took all the food, the cleaning supplies, and the soap. (obviously this man child bought none of these things)

Last I heard (I don't talk to him but a coworkers boyfriend sells him weed) years later he still has this large house. It is still empty. I live in a nice home of my own and I laugh and laugh and laugh.

kortiz46 · 2021-08-28T17:22:05+00:00

The most frustrating part about 50/50 men like this will be the same ones who go online and state that a woman's career or earning power has ZERO contribution towards if he wants to date her or not. Ok so you want some young, hot girlfriend who happens to not have a career or be educated, how do you expect her to go 50/50 on your shit? It's all cognitive dissonance. They want someone young and hot but they don't want to pay for anything and if she asks for financial help she's a gold digger but they won't go for someone older with an established and high-earning career. Pick a lane bros

I think ultimately men just enjoy causing undue stress towards women.

MamaGia · 2021-08-28T15:19:48+00:00

I was in this situation almost exactly.

He owned SIX houses and made atleast 3 times as much as me at work, and all the rental income on top. He charged me market rent (maybe even above) to live in his apartment and his unpaid maid, property manager, cleaning service, landscaper, etc. etc.

Told him I wanted bills to be paid based on percentage of income and he called me a gold digger.

Fuck that guy (actually, no body fuck that guy)

quasarbar · 2021-08-28T15:13:00+00:00

How much you wanna bet she does most of the household chores, too?

arnezuara · 2021-08-28T15:34:51+00:00

I remember my ex complaining that, had he offered to pay the rent for me, I would’ve agreed. He then spoke of being upset with me for not insisting on paying for my food/drinks on dates. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Honey, why are you offering if you’re so broke? Should’ve just told me he can’t afford dating a woman.

Thinking back, he was always emasculated by the fact that my father would allow me to buy nice things for myself.

I’m glad my ex took himself out, or else this would’ve been my future.

PicoPicoMio · 2021-08-28T15:59:06+00:00

I get such visceral disgust reactions whenever I read these 50/50 horror stories. I’m always taken aback by the lack of empathy on behalf of the scrotes. They literally do not care about their partners.

excusemeILY · 2021-08-28T11:37:23+00:00

Why is she living with a boyfriend? The solution to this is simple: leave him and get rid of the headache

shedipity · 2021-08-28T11:50:32+00:00

she needs to leave him. go to family go to a friend while she figures everything out. him making a large amount more and expecting to go 50/50 is a clear sign he isn’t ready for commitment and doesn’t take her seriously. like she said, there’s an imbalance.

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-08-28T12:26:08+00:00

Christ on a bike

Some-Air9442 · 2021-08-28T11:46:32+00:00

So why date an older man who makes more money?

At the rate men are going (to hell), we may as well only date young cute guys.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-08-28T13:22:15+00:00

WoMeN CaN VoTe NoW - AnD they can wear makeup and make tons of money off their looks while men can’t. We’re in an equal society! Even though men make the majority of CEOs, politicians, bankers, fashion designers, etc.

We’re in an equal society. Her bf just HAPPENS to make 3X she does. It’s only FaIr they go 50/50

Because if he actually enabled her to save… buy stocks… buy a house or investment properties… put money in a 401K… he’d be fucking up our equal society!

God I fucking hate men sometimes.

Davina33 · 2021-08-28T14:17:46+00:00

I've had some scrotes in my time but none of them expected this. They covered ALL the bills and the most I would do is buy groceries now and again. Even so, going 50/50, especially when you earn less is diabolical. She is being abused.

ohmira · 2021-08-28T17:17:21+00:00

But men are providers!!! /s

kitnb · 2021-08-28T21:07:50+00:00

I’ve said this dozens of times and I’ll say it again until every one of my fellow sisters gets it:

1. NEVER, EVER LIVE WITH A MAN THAT ISN’T YOUR HUSBAND!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!

2. NEVER, EVER ACCEPT 50/50! IT’S A SCAM THAT ONLY BENEFITS MEN! IT’S NOT FAIR OR EQUITABLE. EVER. The guy is a low-key gold digger. Throw out the whole man, sis!

High value men never ask for “50/50”. They are generous. They are also aware that women are not treated equally or paid equally thus demanding 50/50 isn’t fair and they aren’t about being unfair and assholes.

Only no value male gold diggers push 50/50. Any man that even begins to open his scrote mouth about 50/50 needs to be dumped on the spot. He knows that women aren’t treated and paid equally yet he wants you to pay and do more while he gets to enjoy all the benefits of a relationship, watch you struggle all while saving up money on your ass too?!? GTFOH clown 🤡

ScrappleSandwiches · 2021-08-28T19:09:02+00:00

Let me guess, all the comments are “have you tried talking to him?”

BF has her just where he wants her— too broke to leave, feeling guilty because she’s not able to pay 50/50 so she feels obligated to do all the chores. Watch her get pregnant and wind up like that poor 50/50 woman from yesterday.

Hhjjuuy · 2021-08-28T12:27:24+00:00

They're his bills!

the-worst- · 2021-08-28T13:08:27+00:00

Never ever agree to 50/50, especially not with a man you ain't married to.

She needs to get out of there and get a female roommate.

aquietsword · 2021-08-28T22:00:46+00:00

Men are miners. They'll extract everything from you until you have nothing left. What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine is how they think. It's suuuuuper selfish and gross, women aren't like that. I wish more women would wake up and realize their manipulation.

rkc333 · 2021-08-28T17:34:23+00:00

Honestly it’s unfair and shows he would be unfair with all money matters going forward what about if you were together you were not working when ie if you were to have a child with him… would be support you? I’ve had people earning the same as me and they always supported me even earned more than me they knew I look after myself but they wanted to be supportive. I wouldn’t be with a person who thought like this cos it will be an issue for the rest of your life.

camelCaseC · 2021-08-29T06:24:33+00:00

My partner makes 6x as much as me, so I don't pay rent or other bills because he wants me to invest. He acknowledges that any money I'd give him would be a bigger negative impact to me than it would be a positive one for him. It's really that simple: if someone loves you, they want you to thrive.

Thereismorethanthis · 2021-08-28T19:49:20+00:00

Yikes on several fucking bikes

CloacaDiddler · 2021-08-29T06:08:17+00:00

I donate generously to my friends’ birthday fundraisers on Facebook. Whenever my classmates want something for lunch and go “can I pay you back later?” I say nah and cover their damn burger. If someone ever came to me and said they needed some help, or couldn’t afford something, I would do what I could. I still have comfortable savings, pay my bills in advance, and have not put myself in debt or near it.

So it like blows my mind that if your own PARTNER is asking for a break, the person making oodles more money doesn’t agree to work something out?? What is with this nickel and diming shit in a relationship THAT’S YOUR PERSON like. Who the hell cares if you paid $.30 more for their extra napkins and now they “owe you.” Ridiculous shit.

In complete counterpoint to how it seems so common for men to be stingy selfish lumps, one time I went shopping with my friend and unknown to me whenever I stopped to admire something, she was going behind me picking those things up and buying them. So before I went home she surprised me with the things I had been looking at and it was incredibly sweet. She also lives in a different state but when I mentioned I wanted a new job she looked up my zip code and immediately started sending me results based on my interests. If your MAN doesn’t treat you as well as my best friend and put any effort into you, you don’t want him!

Wkndwhorechata · 2021-08-29T00:32:12+00:00

Just because I make more doesn’t mean I have to pay more

Have you met Mr. Tax Man? 😂

Alybank · 2021-08-29T02:03:42+00:00

This is financial abuse.

kinkardine · 2021-08-28T16:49:17+00:00

I don’t know why she can’t think of taking up a student loan and studying in a subject that pays more, 26f with no dependents, what’s holding her back to to work on improving her earning potential, having a career? I might be victim blaming here but she needs to have a financial backbone, otherwise it will be one poor decision after another, she seems to be still stuck in the idea of ‘couple’. There is no coupling happening here, only exploitation of her naivety.

I was stay at home wife/mom two times, even then hubby used to leave his whole paycheque with bonus to me. He used to appreciate me taking time from work to be at home almost every day. I remember one incident where he got a surprise performance bonus, and was happily sharing the news to his dad, and my father in law told him did he hand the bonus to me, cause without me he won’t be doing the performance anyway. I was damn honoured and surprised by that statement but hubby already gifted that bonus money to me before his dad make that statement. I wonder how people decide to live in this disrespectful situation.

ijustcantwithit · 2021-08-29T06:32:54+00:00

My ex and I split 50/50 but we made roughly the same. When I got a slightly better job he understood that I wasn’t getting extra spending money but rather prepping to buy a car. I really really needed a new one. So I saved and if I splurged on something, it was always for both of us. On the flip side. He let me take on more of our dogs medical bills for surgery because he didn’t have enough money. Why? Because he bought a super expensive desktop computer for gaming.

sunologie · 2021-09-04T10:48:48+00:00

Financial abuse

driftylandmissy · 2021-08-28T19:08:57+00:00

I made 4xs as much as my former partner, and you know what? He never complained about it, paid his fare share, but I always - and I mean always- helped him out when he needed it. And he knew it was okay to ask. That's what a true partner does.

2021-08-28T14:34:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

purasangria · 2021-08-28T16:06:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PinkBlair99 · 2021-08-30T10:44:27+00:00

This was me ages 22-26. 🤡🤡🤡

Title	Dude makes 6x more and refuses to adjust the 50/50 budget
Author	farevvell
Upvotes	1280
Comments	111
Date	August 28, 2021 11:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pd81vo/dude_makes_6x_more_and_refuses_to_adjust_the_5050/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dude-makes-6x-more-and-refuses-to-adjust-the-5050.1065253 https://theredarchive.com/post/1065253

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