I’m quitting birth control.

Elegant-Stop · 2020-08-30T06:09:16+00:00

I was on the pill for over 10 years for cramps that made me feel like I was going to die. I was in my very early teens, not in tune with my body, and didn’t realize that the pill made me depressed with frequent suicidal thoughts. I thought these new feelings were just part of being a teen. One day a doctor prescribed me a painkiller for a mild sprain. I never took it. I decided to try getting off the pill one month to see if my cramps got better with time. Within two weeks, my depression was completely gone. When my cramps came back though I felt it was better to be mildly depressed than feel such excruciating pain. I remembered I had those painkillers for my sprain, took one, and my cramps disappeared. Now I’ve been off the pill a year, my depression never returned, and my cramps can be managed by a prescription pill once a month instead of once a day. I’ve never been more happy and in love with life.

chateauduchat · 2020-08-30T05:13:18+00:00

I really hated hormonal birth control. I never really got “used to it”. I was feeling like mood swings were bad, the dryness sucked, I get more nervous actually not having a physical barrier. Got off maybe a year ago after being on it for a year. I definitely feel like I’m back to somewhat of my normal pre-hormonal self? Honestly, I was much happier and less stressed using condoms even though they’re slightly less effective.

Keep in mind, I am childfree. So the next time I’m in a committed relationship, I will be using condoms only, unless he wants to pay for my 10k sterilization. I’m not going through the bullshit of hormones ever again just so a guy can raw me. If he wants that, he’ll have to pay for it.

Villanelloh · 2020-08-30T07:54:32+00:00

If only scientists would put as much research into female bc as they are with the male bc pill. I had to go through many types before I found one that works for me. It shouldn't be a lottery for women.

rinabean · 2020-08-30T11:35:22+00:00

Yeah, I went off it and it was the best thing I've ever done. I thought I had all kinds of problems, mood, sexual function, digestion, general fatigue, but it was all side effects of HBC and I'm fine now after stopping!

I use FAM (Sensiplan) and condoms instead now. I never really liked relying on the pill for contraception, like what happened to you, it can be hard to know it failed, especially when it's messing with your periods. My worst nightmare, probably most women's, is finding out you've been pregnant for months, and HBC really enables that on the rare occasions it does fail. And no-one could pay me to get a coil fitted. I don't care how rare it is, I've seen x rays of them migrating and that's enough for me! But pregnancy is easy to avoid without HBC and there are no side effects.

I think you are so right that HBC functions to make women take sex with men less seriously, from not using condoms (you're not the only one, it's why STI rates are climbing, because "condoms don't work" - public health officials didn't just shoot themselves in the foot with that one, they shot us all!) to being cavalier about who you let yourself be vulnerable with. There is nothing a doctor can give you that makes sleeping around with men safe and healthy

scorpio11055 · 2020-08-30T12:02:58+00:00

Always viewed starting birth control as one of the “milestones” of being a woman. I’m 21 and was considering starting in a few months but after reading your post and these comments, I’m seeing it as an option. I don’t need bc for anything besides sex, and I take enough medication impacting my mood as it is so I think I’ll pass.

IAteTheDragon · 2020-08-30T08:29:59+00:00

Oh I wish I could do this myself. I actually have about 6 months ago for 5 months. My libido got so high it almost scared me, I actually thought to myself "if this is how men are all the time, we're doomed". But the real problem was the relapse of acne(which was the reason I took hormones to begin with). It got so terrible, I was either gonna move to live in the sewers out of sight, or go back on the pill. So here I am, doomed for life 😞 Good for you though! Keep it natural!

MissVvvvv · 2020-08-30T08:27:03+00:00

After coming off BC my skin became really oily and pimply and my periods came every 10 days. Suffice it to say I'm back on BC 😑

saydeesalt · 2020-08-30T05:52:35+00:00

Gave me closed comedones along my jawline

letsberealforamoment · 2020-08-30T04:13:18+00:00

I've never used hormonal birth control. I'm 44, married a total of 21 years between 2 ex husbands.

I'm blessed with a regular cycle. I told the ex husbands that if we have sex 4 days bedore and 4 days after my ovulation, then they use a condom. Or we don't have sex.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-08-30T14:05:53+00:00

I refused to go on it. And of course, the docs don't like me using it because my mother had cancer. Guys should get fixed or wear condoms. Women have too much to worry about as it is.

GlobalDynamicsEureka · 2020-08-30T04:13:52+00:00

I went off the implant because it made me depressed. Went back to normal a year later. Never doing hormones ever again.

Pahapan · 2020-08-30T07:36:07+00:00

I was on hormonal birth control when I was a teenager to help with acne and I didn't like it. It killed my libido which seemed counterintuitive. A lot of people would say to just try different types until you hit on one that works for you but I'm not willing to do that. I had a friend whose birth control made her suicidal. There are so many side effects that get played off, it's insane. It's not like trying on different pairs of shoes. And the long term effects haven't been adequately studied for my comfort. There's been some research showing that hormonal birth control may alter who you're attracted to. So you can end up meeting a man, falling in love with him, getting married, and then going off your birth control to have kids just to have your normal hormones kick in and realizing you're not normally attracted to this guy. Fuck that!

That said, having experienced reproductive coercion, rape, having condoms taken off during sex, being impregnated by my (now ex) boyfriend, and getting an abortion, I'm not willing to rely solely on condoms. I will never again give a man the opportunity to tamper with my birth control or the opportunity to get me pregnant against my will. So I got a copper IUD! I've had it for about 2 months now and it's still settling in but things are looking really good. Bled for about a month after it was inserted but now I appear to be back to a regular cycle (fingers crossed). The second day of my period is a lot heavier now but it's manageable and I suspect it'll get better over time since it can take 6+ months for the IUD to fully settle and I haven't been having a bad reaction to it. So far it's been more than worth it for 10+ years of effortless birth control.

TERVENCORRUPTOR9000 · 2020-08-30T10:14:03+00:00

Is it unusual that I've never been on birth control? I don't know, the idea of rearranging my entire hormonal system just for a man's benefit really skeeves me out. And, even though the idea of it might be hot on paper, I just can't imagine dealing with the resulting mess.

Condoms are so comfortable. And I've never had a guy complain about them, but if I did, well that's one way to weed someone out. So many benefits, honestly.

Orphanedpinkpetals · 2020-08-30T11:02:40+00:00

This is violence against men! / s

I think this is awesome and quite thoughtful

fdsonlynoscrubs · 2020-08-30T11:39:15+00:00

I did! I was on the pill throughout my 20’s. I got off when I turned 30 and have been off now for 7 years. For me, the big issue was my acne medicine that I had to also stop taking. The first year off the pill was rough when it came to acne. However, I went to a new dermatologist and explained I didn’t want to take any oral medication just topical, and together we figured it out. My skin isn’t perfect, but I’ve got a routine that works and I feel proud that I took my health into my own hands!

I’ve had boyfriends since then and we just used condoms. Side benefit of condoms - easy cleanup!

Pahapan · 2020-08-30T06:33:45+00:00

[deleted]

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-08-30T13:20:38+00:00

Been on it for years and went off it. Please remember that it can take months for your body to fully adjust to being on/off it so you maybe won't know the final effect until a few months after. Very much worth it tho IMO.

On birth control I felt like everyday was the same. I felt neither very happy nor very sad and was a little bit tired constantly. Off birth control, my feelings are more extreme and varied but I prefer it this way. In general, I have more energy, ambition, and joy. I have an insane amount of energy around ovulation. I do have worse period cramps, fatigue, and am emotionally more sensitive around a certain point in my cycle, but I have learned to embrace this. This article actually helped me look at it as a natural reminder to practice self-care: https://mytinysecrets.com/bye-bye-painful-periods-7-magical-ways-to-relieve-menstrual-cramps-for-good/

Other than the cramps, I actually enjoy the different way I feel during my period now. I just had to look at it in a different way and respect it. Part of the reason I was one birth control was to reduce the cramps.

I could go on and on about all the different ways I feel on different days, but really the gist of it is that as you get more in tune with your natural cycle, you will discover what this is for you.

woiashenseea · 2020-08-30T23:36:08+00:00

Not lame!! Reclaim ALL that functionality, girl. This is a big deal. You're taking back your body. Don't let anyone who is self-conscious about their birth control take your shine here - there's a reason it feels good to put yourself first. Money saved, too. God Bless, I really am so happy for you!!!

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-08-30T10:58:19+00:00

I’ve been on bc for a few months when I was a teen and nothing since then, so I’m not sure if my perspective will be that helpful.

I love my body in its natural state. I can eat as much and whatever I want and I don’t really get “fat” I just get curvier or thiccer. Like all the extra fat just goes to my butt and breasts while maintaining abs. It might be partly genetic but I think it’s also related to my natural hormonal state which prevents weight gain around the midriff. The stereotype that women get “fat” and low libido when they’re comfortable in relationships is I think partly due to switching to hormonal bc. (I’m not body shaming or trying to make out I’m “better” than others. I think a lot of women medically benefit from bc but I think a perfectly healthy woman taking it solely for birth control is unfairly burdened with side effects which is bullshit. She shouldn’t have to alter her entire endocrine system so Kyle doesn’t have to wrap up). I also love experiencing the ovulation window: I feel so energized, confident and positive like I can achieve anything I put my mind to. I’m naturally a bit socially anxious and nervous around others but it completely disappears for about 5 days out of every cycle. I get a bit lethargic and mopey for a couple days before my period but it’s pretty mild.

Kimpractical · 2020-08-30T14:31:43+00:00

I started taking it when I was with my ex because he wanted to have unprotected sex. It cleared up my skin so I kept taking it after we broke up. I stopped taking it again like 2 years ago because I started having other health problems and wanted to know if the BC was causing it. Turns out it was not the BC, but I do not want to go back on it. I don’t need it, I’m not having sex, and my skin is doing fine with a good skincare routine and healthy diet. Plus, at my age, I’m more at risk for blood clots and heart disease with BC. I think young women should definitely be taking it if they are sexually active... the last thing I’d want for any of them is to get pregnant by a scrote. They shouldn’t coerced into it though just because he wants a cream pie

Essssssssssssss · 2020-08-30T16:09:43+00:00

Hey, while you are at it. If you are interested in how your body works, and what your cycle is doing you should read taking charge of your fertility.

Some women learn their cycles to try to avoid pregnancy (with a lifetime partner where if accidents happen it's not the end of the world for then and shouldn't be used nonchalantly), some women learn their cycles to try to get pregnant easier. Some women learn their cycles just to feel like there is more understanding and control over their own body in a natural way. I feel like this type of education is so important and every woman should be able to understand what their cycle is doing.

KetoKittenAround · 2020-08-30T03:54:10+00:00

I did, when I had eggs frozen.

I can’t really give you anything of value because when you freeze your eggs you are pumped with all sorts of hormones.

I am back on birth control and in my 30s. I’ve been on it since I was 17. I have and do, enjoy the benefits it affords me.

I’m not sure if I’m helpful, but I support you on doing what you think is best for your body.

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-08-30T13:35:26+00:00

I will never be on BC again. It wreaks havoc on my body. If men want to be condom free they will need to get a vasectomy. Other wise it’s condoms and condoms+ diaphragm when I’m ovulating. I get pregnant at the drop of a hat, and feel safer with two forms of BC when I know I’m in my fertile time.

Anyone interested in Natural Family Planning (the method wherein you track your cycle and ovulation times to either avoid or conceive pregnancy) I cannot recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility enough. Every young woman should have to read this book.

Kadri_Kasuema · 2020-08-30T13:32:34+00:00

Please consider there may be major side effects as your body adjusts! I had been on birth control for over a decade like you, and I wanted to stop using it because I didn’t like the idea of taking prescription medicine of any kind for that long. All seemed well for the first few months. Then about 4 months in, my hair started falling out. I had long hair past my chest and because of the amount I lost over a few months, I had to get a long bob cut. Then the hormonal acne appeared all over my neck and jawline. I had perfect skin for years and barely used any makeup and now I looked like a teenager! Finally, my periods stopped. I finally connected the dots and it turns out that the birth control I had been using specifically balanced out irregular male hormones, or something to that affect. Now I’m back on it, sigh. But my hair and skin have recovered, and my periods are back! Not a fun year!!

Inspection-Critical · 2020-08-30T15:46:38+00:00

Hormonal birth control was hell on earth. I quit at 19 and after that relied on barrier methods until I got a bilateral salp last year. That's almost 20 years now without hormonal bc and I've never regretted it. I could never figure out how other women dealt.

I broke out, I stopped sleeping, I gained weight, I dried up, I lost my libido, I became suicidal. All of that went away immediately as soon as I stopped hormonal bc. It didn't matter which brands I used, all of them had quick and devastating effects. I couldn't live that way.

Worse, ob/gyns didn't believe me and accused me of overreacting.

Oh ok so you're saying I'm imagining that I'm curled up crying and screaming in the shower? And that it stops as soon as I stop taking the pills? K.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-08-30T16:33:31+00:00

I just took my hormonal IUD out, same thinking- I’m not going to have sex in the near future, I’d be using condoms anyway (I had started because I was having a lot of sex with my ex and wanted double protection). I was only on it for like 2.5 years but oh man I can feel such a difference already. Literally every bit of my recent “I maybe want a baby” urge has completely vanished. I’m realizing that the hormones are likely why I got weirdly attached to that ex (I started getting kind of emotional about him right after getting the IUD and never connected it because I was inexperienced with hormonal birth control). My first period after stopping was a fucking train wreck (hello mood swings) but afterwards I felt more clear headed than I have in years.

If I find a HVM in the future, I won’t be sleeping with him until I’m pretty sure he’s the one, and at that point he’ll hopefully have a vasectomy because I’m firmly child-free and if he’s compatible with me he will be as well, and he’ll be willing to go through a simple outpatient procedure to spare me the pain of a full surgery or potential abortion/pregnancy or using BC.

catch_me_a_dream · 2020-08-31T04:24:04+00:00

I always refused to take birth control, and also almost always refused to have sex without condom (I agreed only with one boyfriend for few times, but on my own inciative, since I was horny and didnt think straight because of amazing sexual chemistry to be honest, sorry for that), and I realized it makes me less desirable partner to average man (before finding fds) now called LVM. All woman 20-35 years old who I know that are in long term relashionships dont use condoms and either drink BC or use pull out method. It kind of made me sad because I am 90% sure it is one of main reasons they boyfriends and husbands are with them, so they can fuck raw. None of the man use condoms or got vasectomy even if they have children and are done with it(number of couples that I know is 10 and im not joking, also I know all of them so it is direct information).Basically, I never wanted to add hormones to my body since I didnt have any hormonal issues and would use it only as pregnancy protection so why I should disrupt my body for that and I always thought if my partner loves me he will respect my choice. Had some random fuck boy whom I slept 2 times with when I was trying is FWB for me talk 2-3 times about how his exes let him sleep with him without condoms and that they used BC, and basically tried to negg me into it, refused and dumped him, still DMed me months and year later. Everybody can have their choice but for me BC was always big NO (not including ladies who need it for hormon balance). I have narc/psycho (to woman) pickme (to man) mother, but she was amazing in one thing- she carried herself very naturally, didnt even shave anything, only used soap and shampoo and from makeup eye pencil. It is a bit extreme for me since I love skin care and makeup but I also accept my body and have much self confidance in myself and in decisions about my looks/health/body because of such natural mother and grandmother. I did not know about FDS but I did know what "pickme" was for almost 3 years and I will get downvoted as hell but I always thought of woman without problems on BC as pick me. And no, I dont count oily skin and pimples as problems. If BC makes your skin super clear and you want to continoue use it is your choice but can we please stop making normal things as oily skin or pimples "problems". I also disagree with one of the top comments "if he wants to fuck raw he will have to pay for that and I will sterilize", no I wont, it is super simple for HIM to get vasectomy, you should only get sterilized when you are single so you know it is because of YOUR choice to be childfree for example. Not sell your bodyparts for $ so he can pax to raw dodge you. Wtf.

Pudding5050 · 2020-08-30T08:47:53+00:00

For me being on birth control is prioritizing myself and my own health. It gives me essentially full control over my reproductive function and my periods. It means that I do not have to trust men's fumbling with condoms, nor am I at risk of an accidental pregnancy, AND I get many health benefits from it.

But if you feel better off it and don't need it for birth control there's absolutely no reason to be taking it. Do what's right for you.

CoriVanilla · 2020-08-30T15:54:57+00:00

I took birth control from 17 to 25, I almost died from a blood clot in my leg from hip to ankle they believe to have been at least partially caused by my taking the same birth control for so long. It's been almost two years without it now and I'm still learning about how my body naturally functions. I experienced ovulation cramps for the first time last month, and l am still trying to track and learn about my emotional and mental fluctuations around my period as well. It's been a process, and I'm definitely realizing how much my birth control was doing to my body.

thegenuinedarkfly · 2020-08-30T15:59:02+00:00

I was on HBC from age 18-32 to help mainly with cramps. I stopped taking it because I wasn’t dating and because I was tired of paying for it. I wanted to see what would happen also.

My cycle was regular, I had no more serious issues with cramps (maybe mild ones the first or second day, easily managed), slightly oilier skin temporarily and that was it. Highly recommend!

TheOGJammies · 2020-08-30T17:57:26+00:00

Sis you are far from alone in this

We did a thread on it

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eds9ij/wear_a_condom_or_stfu_birth_control_is_not_100/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

cece188 · 2020-08-30T19:18:57+00:00

I went on hormonal birth control when I had my first boyfriend and it made me an emotional wreck. It also completely messed up my cycle and it took me a few months to have regular periods again. I will never go on hormonal birth control again, it’s either condoms or no sex

CSardothien_1 · 2020-08-30T20:26:55+00:00

I just recently went off my birth control this year after being on it for almost 9 years and I’ll tell ya, I feel amazing. Sure the periods and cramps, bloating all that isn’t daisies and daffodils but knowing that no synthetic hormones are entering my body in the daily is worth it. I always used to get the worst stomach aches and thought it was due to my Crohn’s but as soon as I went off BC I felt so much lighter and I haven’t had problems with my gut since. I also just feel more connected to myself and my surroundings. It may just be the effects of this year but regardless I feel more like me again. I hope you come off it just the same xx

emrasara · 2020-08-31T02:47:12+00:00

Just wanted to say, thank you for posting this and all the comments below. I’m in the same boat, I was thinking about getting an IUD instead of the pill and now just going off of the pill entirely. I’ve noticed my emotions are more extreme and sometimes when I am frustrated I just can’t stop crying. I never had horrible skin before the pill, but it did improve slightly on it. My only fear is that going off of the pill will result in some catastrophic breakouts as my body’s revenge!

devoushka · 2020-08-31T05:11:56+00:00

I went off birth control for the first time in 4 years about 3 months ago. My suicidal thoughts and random bouts of depression went away, and I found it easier to lose weight. Couldn't recommend it enough. Condoms work just fine with perfect use and plan B is always an option. I don't plan on sleeping with anyone again unless I'm very serious about them, and at that point we can discuss me getting an IUD. But I may just opt for condoms and pulling out over that.

eng2fly · 2020-08-30T13:05:57+00:00

I got off all hormonal birth control at 22 after going through massive depressive streaks due to it. I am sexually active and we use natural cycles to prevent pregnancy. Can’t recommend it enough.

ArugulaIsAwesome · 2020-08-30T04:41:42+00:00

EDITED: Agreed with comments below. Removed a portion.

I’ve gone off birth control multiple times in my life and honestly it’s always the timeframes in which I have had the most clarity and emotional stability.

UPDATE: If you are going off birth control be sure to establish understanding with a potential partner so they know that condoms are a MUST for you. I would also stress not to drink alcohol with someone until you are confident they can follow this boundary. There are men that will genuinely try to “slip it in” if they are naked with you so you want to be prepared to shut everything down at a moments notice.

Title	I’m quitting birth control.
Author	randomdazee
Upvotes	230
Comments	81
Date	August 30, 2020 3:43 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ij691h/im_quitting_birth_control/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-quitting-birth-control.211747 https://theredarchive.com/post/211747

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