Libfems - BuT iT's EmPoWeRiNg

cherieblosum · 2020-12-07T18:13:28+00:00

Anyone think it's weird that so many young women are "choosing" to be abused during sex, instead of loved and cherished?

happytoll · 2020-12-07T13:46:48+00:00

It's messed up, there's also the consent defense which has been used too many times. You can't consent to being strangled to death.

Scrotes think they're gentlemen because they ask beforehand.

Austenma · 2020-12-07T15:01:48+00:00

It's honestly terrifying how it became so normalized these days you can't find a single man who enjoys or practices "vanilla" sex. There has to be a slap somewhere, or a "lEt'S eXpErImEnT" suggestion to spice up the relationship.

Because apparently the days where a new nice lingerie set or staying at a fancy hotel just don't do it anymore.

The truth is men get bored so easily no matter what you do and the perpetual availability of choices makes it near impossible to have a strong, healthy relationship with any of them because they'll be constantly looking over their shoulder, wondering "what if", smelling the greener grass. The thrill seeking mentality is just that, and it fizzles out quickly, but that doesn't stop them because it's a never ending cycle.

sunset74420 · 2020-12-07T13:34:08+00:00

What is up with men that like to slap our asses until there is a hand print?

Eris_the_Fair · 2020-12-07T13:27:17+00:00

Oh god, with these libfem types it is literally a dick measuring contest of who can sustain the most violence from men in the name of sex positivity, they are in-turn normalising it. “You don’t liked to be pissed on while your boyfriend kicks your ribs in, you just haven’t discovered the wonders of kink” it is so damaging ugh.

Honestly I am 19 and have been part of the tumblr generation, and I believe they have groomed a whole generation of young girls into thinking it is normal, because these were the woman who were supposed to be in your favour, and therefore if they think it is ok, then it must be.

TexiMcCrae · 2020-12-07T15:09:30+00:00

Anal is what I never understood. Why on earth did that ever become a thing?

cece188 · 2020-12-07T18:47:13+00:00

I remember before FDS, I was trying to do kinky sex with my boyfriend, telling him to spank me, pull my hair, call me degrading names, etc. When we broke up, he told me he thought it was horrible that I ever asked him to do that. He didn’t think it was right to do and that he just wanted to love me in a gentle/ passionate way during sex.

He was extremely LV (long story), but it was at this moment that I realized I was socially conditioned to think this is what all men want so I have to like it too. Never again.

noitapippeli · 2020-12-07T16:54:04+00:00

once I realized that my ”kinks” are actually trauma it has been really disturbing to found out how many of my friends without trauma ”like being on pain”

happytoll · 2020-12-07T14:56:24+00:00

It feels like "rough sex" is a way to create fear. You already know they can hurt you whenever they feel like it

BasieSkanks · 2020-12-07T15:29:00+00:00

I had this discussion with a male colleague over the weekend. Sex work and violent sex cannot be empowering, because it diminishes women's power significantly even on a personal level. Sex workers face huge stigma, poverty, exposure to abuse and rape and loss of future opportunities. The BDSM subreddits are full of submissives who come seeking advice after their Dom had an "ooopssieee" moment that has resulted in the sub experiencing severe trauma, both physically and emotionally. It makes absolutely no sense to call something empowering when it leaves you worse off.

startrekfan98 · 2020-12-07T17:05:45+00:00

I dated a guy who was obsessed with porn. Tried to coerce me into anal, rough sex, etc. He was seventeen (I was too). He cheated on me with another girl and I dumped his ass. That was a few years ago. I feel bad for the girls he’s been with because I know how aggressive he is sexually. He doesn’t care about his partners pleasure, only his own.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-12-07T14:16:34+00:00

Yep. But they don’t like to talk about “choice” when it comes to women choosing to be single, or childless, or with a man with money, or with a man who doesn’t watch Porn and ogle other girls, or who wants to be an engineer or astronaut or pilot, or who wants to not date etc. you get the picture.

We can question anything else, but when it comes to the objectification of women’s and girls bodies and men’s use of them, it’s all rainbows and butterflies and natural choicy choice blah blah blah. Over it.

I’m actually over now much this is overlooked. Even in the vegan community, you would think women there would get it, and understand exploitation, but no. Some of them are even worse. Because they are activists against animals, they also become lib fem choicy choice activists, and it’s scary because they have a large and usually young and impressionable audience. But they are beyond reproach because they are “doing good things in society.”

Stop the world. I want to get off.

denverkris · 2020-12-07T17:30:10+00:00

It's manipulation and gaslighting at it's finest. They've managed to convince some women that they enjoy this crap when I can't figure out for the life of me how that's possible.

amievenreal99 · 2020-12-07T16:28:56+00:00

My niece is 11 years old, and she told me that a classmate asked if he could anal rape her.

She also has an anorexic classmate.

annanorwich · 2020-12-07T15:56:05+00:00

Its horrifying how choking is being normalized and if you dont let your boyfriend do it you are "boring and vanilla", its actually extremely dangerous and can cause sudden death due to the oxygen deprivation to the brain, and rough anal sex without lubrication can lead to serious fissures and tears that can lead to surgeries, many ex porn stars have needed it.

Wchijafm · 2020-12-07T19:13:04+00:00

Libfem- trying their hardest to make a safe space for ALl mEN that they are making even more women victims of violence and exploitation.

draconicomma · 2020-12-07T19:44:46+00:00

24, but I was 17-19 and 19-22 when I had my first relationships. Both mfs, despite being vastly different on personalities, wanted anal. I always said “Nope, unless you’re my husband then you don’t get access to that” and did they happily accept that answer? No. The first ex is a psycho, so I was CONSTANTLY pressured, constantly getting my b-hole touched. Second guy was disappointed and would bring it up occasionally, and sometimes touch it, but I never let none of them in.

These types of “empowerment” is embarrassing. Men begging like children for ass play.

Concernedmama16 · 2020-12-07T16:54:32+00:00

I am terrified for my daughters (10 and 4). How do I protect them from the brainwashing? I also have a baby boy. He needs protection too. It is all so sickening and heart breaking.

punyhumannumber2 · 2020-12-07T19:35:23+00:00

How you encourage men to treat you affects all of us.

barmitzvahmoney · 2020-12-07T16:49:27+00:00

People don’t understand what feminism is. Feminism isn’t about personal choice it’s about dismantling the patriarchy

immortallogic · 2020-12-07T15:47:53+00:00

The best thing you can do as a woman is honestly not have sex in your twenties. "Lose" your virginity to YOURSELF via a toy/cucumber etc. (You're not losing anything, you're gaining it to yourself). I swear, this saved me from so much horror that I see women talk about here and other places (I'm 30 now). I read some of these things and can't remotely fathom how these poor girls would feel or even allow it to be done to them, but then I remember what a fucked up culture and society we live in today, where girls are groomed to essentially be sex slaves and let go of any autonomy, while being told that being half naked/being a sex doll is eMpOwErInG... And that they should inject every inch of their faces/bodies with something, in order to be worthy.

I refuse to allow guys to coerce me into anything, because I have clear non-negotiables that I will not relent to. I will never put a dick on my mouth (have gotten head regardless, dudes love to go down), and will not allow anything that even REMOTELY would disrespect me.

With the rise of porn and liberal feminism, along with social media and the commodification and sexualization of everything, young girls are more vulnerable than ever.

Ladies, please, PLEASE, protect yourselves.

Let's normalize THAT.

HaveNoIdeaWhatToPick · 2020-12-07T17:38:55+00:00

THIS! It freaks me out how violent and porn-like sex became so popular, especially among young people. Now it's "weird" when a girl does not want to give oral or try anal. It makes me feel sick. Our culture truly, slowly imitates porn. It's everywhere. Music, articles with dating/sex "advice", movies, internet and then peers who copy everything and push it on other people.

UnstrirringCoffee · 2020-12-07T17:41:15+00:00

Thank you! I wish more people would realise this. Things don't become magically okay because of "choice".

Sure, it's a "choice" to become an Amazon warehouse worker. Sure, it's a "choice" to go broke working for Uber. And yeah sure, it's a "choice" to wear make-up if you get fired without it.

None, of this is okay.

sjefsiljuuus · 2020-12-07T21:07:31+00:00

My first experience with sex was that sex was supposed to be violent, painful, the guy could do whatever he wanted, I didnt matter. In other words - rape.

He would watch porn, and I noticed that when he used porn more, he got inlufenced by it and wanted to do the acts he had seen on porn. It was brutal stuff, I told him no. He ended up with raping me, and he did all the stuff he had seen in porn, he chocked me more and more. He smiled when I was hurt at the beginning, because he told me that reminded him of «my innocence (referencing to that people still believe that it is supposed to hurt when you lose your virginity as a girl/woman)».

I was a teenager and I didnt have a choice, I got exposed to violent acts and rape. I have almost used 10 years in therapy to try to learn what healthy normal sex is, and it is still hard to accept that what people call boring vanilla sex is supposed to be healthy - while the kinks could be harmful or in worst cases, rape. However, I have a lovely boyfriend that has been patient with me and doesnt use porn and doesnt have those kinks. Sex feels like true love, and I can feel safe and close with him.

BungalowBootieBitch · 2020-12-07T20:42:34+00:00

It's really this year I realized I'm not super into kinky stuff. Like I never enjoyed my ass being slapped like a punching bag. Anal has always sounded terrible to me. I think I was maybe 23 when I tried it cuz this dude pressured me into it (he had no condoms so he said it was the "best option.") It was awful. Just really awful.

azngirl7689 · 2020-12-07T16:15:30+00:00

We really need to bring back some little bit of kink shaming again. This stuff isn’t normal or natural.

SavingsStrength0 · 2020-12-08T01:12:32+00:00

NSFL SEX WARNING DO NOT READ ON IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE NSFW ughh I’m so disgusted..Just the other day there was a post on the front page of some Japanese porn or something and there was a woman getting some type of eel/worms creatures getting slugged up her butt through a funnel. Like wtf how the hell is that ever empowering??! She totally looked like she was enjoying it so much she couldn’t even look at the camera. Fun! Think she was saying something in Japanese about being so ashamed she couldn’t even look at them doing that to her. Anybody who tells you porn and sex work is empowering is fucking lying to you. There is so much disgusting shit women are asked to do that will leave you scared and needing therapy, and that’s just the beginning. Not even going to mention the sexual assault, the cheating, sex trafficking etc there is so much risk for literally less than you would get at a minimum wage job. There is nothing good that comes out of that shithole industry, don’t care what anyone says #sorrynotsorry

AmazonRedditor · 2020-12-07T20:26:01+00:00

I think we live in a system that promotes violence against woman. I think is a combination of the western school system is saturated with patriarchal ideas so sex Ed classes promote the idea that because sex is only for reproduction men think women should be submissive towards them. You then add on the fact that there is so much porn that depicts abuses and it reinforces that idea that women are suppose to be submissive in the minds of men.

TheOGJammies · 2020-12-07T14:41:34+00:00

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2020-12-08T04:05:15+00:00

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kmblue · 2020-12-07T18:17:17+00:00

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Title	Libfems - BuT iT's EmPoWeRiNg
Author	_xyoungbellax_
Upvotes	1525
Comments	164
Date	December 7, 2020 1:10 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k8gcix/libfems_but_its_empowering/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/libfems-but-its-empowering.328313 https://theredarchive.com/post/328313

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