Twirling for the patriarchy. More in comments

MummyCroc · 2021-03-04T10:16:09+00:00

I saw this post on twitter. I am an African woman like her, married to an African man but thats where the similarities end.

I was exhausted reading her list. And what I got from it is that even with the sexual gymnastics and all the twirling, the husband still steps out on her. And she's ok with it because he will always come back home to her.

If there are any young African women in this subreddit. Please, don't break yourself and your spirit for men like this. I know we are said to gain respect if we are married but its not worth it this way. Marry someone who respects you as an equal and everything else will fall in place. Marriage is not meant to be as hard as sis makes it. Hold out, there are hvm and even if you don't find one, make sure you have a fulfilling life with love from friends and family. And if you have a pickme family, I am willing to be your family.

Platipus6 · 2021-03-04T10:32:35+00:00

"My husband as the boss"

"Men are like children"

all these numbered points and something doesn't add up...

deep_faked_beans · 2021-03-04T10:21:00+00:00

[deleted]

Ngwanuza · 2021-03-04T10:39:35+00:00

Lies! This 3 decades of lost life deserves some serious mourning. We have a term in South Africa, it called to "bekezela" - which in essence is as this woman describes. A glorified suffering in silence and withstanding all manner of nonsense because you're invested in a sham of a marriage. At least the gen Z and millennial women in SA are totally opposed to this trash ideology

sassyheather · 2021-03-04T11:01:01+00:00

The sex point is freaking outrageous.

“I know he won’t be satisfied but at least I know I’ve done my bit well” ???????????????????

Lamiek · 2021-03-04T11:10:16+00:00

Wild girls even bite their dicks!!

Don't give me ideas that could potentially land me in jail.

She must be trolling with this one or she has read too much Cosmo.

glendoraza · 2021-03-04T10:30:25+00:00

So basically marriage is slavery. Is that a step up from when we were chattel being sold by our father to marriage?

Doesn’t seem like progress -sighs-

Now I know what is meant by the bar is in hell

January_Rain_93 · 2021-03-04T15:27:55+00:00

"Make him love his kids."

What the cinnamon toast fuck is this?

thehappiestelephant · 2021-03-04T12:33:52+00:00

Kings hate controversies

Never have a differing opinion.

UnpeacefulLily · 2021-03-04T12:36:01+00:00

LMAO.

As another African, this is literally many women I know. This is why I have very few female friends. It's hard to find women who don't buy into this BS.

A common thing for these types of women is to drop their single friends once they get married. They got picked & feel they're better than you. Even if they married an LVM who doesn't provide or contribute to the family in anyway.

I can't tolerate pickemeishas. I have been one. I have recovered and I need people around me to recover too. Be better!

imaydestroyyall · 2021-03-04T10:29:07+00:00

I'm Kenyan and this is not shocking to me at all. The pick me-ism is off the charts with this one. Her husband is like her child AND her boss?? Make it make sense!

veniphyl · 2021-03-04T13:23:29+00:00

Lol that's why long lasting marriage doesn't prove anything. Everytime I hear about it I'm like, yeah, what does she have to endure? What a joke.

Froetsa · 2021-03-04T10:38:38+00:00

The only thing that I agree with her, no phone arguments. ESPECIALLY in messages. But infantilizing a man? I thought I was so stupid for waiting for my exes to grow up, BUT babying a 40-50 something man? What the fuck. Keep your baby kink to yourself lady, poor kids that will see their mother on twitter preaching how to satisfy a man, jesus...

superderpina_ · 2021-03-04T12:37:32+00:00

Stopped reading after „my husband as the boss“🤮

missliberia · 2021-03-04T14:06:08+00:00

Proud African checking in. Fuck these clowns! You guys have no idea how much vitriol gets slung my way because I widened my dating pool and ended up married to an Italian American. They really think I am missing out LMAO! Men are men to be honest but when the pool gets widened you up the likelihood of finding a high value one.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-03-04T14:03:36+00:00

That’s a lot of words to say, “My husband treats me like a second class citizen and I take it.” 😢

indisfury · 2021-03-04T11:37:43+00:00

I thought this list was a joke until I read the comments.

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2021-03-04T13:37:40+00:00

Excuse me? What exactly is she getting out of this marriage besides headaches and possibly an STD? If this doesn’t show men just take take take, nothing will.

ChickaDeeD33 · 2021-03-04T11:41:42+00:00

WOOOOOWWWWW! Oh my goodness. I'd much rather be a wife than a slave like this.

Gerltofen · 2021-03-04T12:17:41+00:00

I feel exhausted just by reading her list.

Shinygoldendragonfly · 2021-03-04T13:52:58+00:00

I think she meant to say 13 years of chronic fatigue...

K0rla · 2021-03-04T15:05:04+00:00

Men are like children, sit next to him while he eats to supervise.

Also: bite your man's dick.

What??

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-03-04T16:09:43+00:00

where we need both parents I invite him

so... he's a part-time, invitation-only father?

taking off his clothes, preparing his shower, making his best meal, fuelling his car...

is she talking about her kid or her husband? or a toddler who happens to drive a car because mommy always puts in fuel?

>.< I'm confused

RiverofSouls_ · 2021-03-04T16:32:17+00:00

The whole time I read this I was thinking "But WHAT DOES HE DO IN RETURN?'

Lysa3 · 2021-03-04T13:58:49+00:00

Ugh, that makes me want to vomit.

Yellowsunflowerlover · 2021-03-04T15:05:04+00:00

Sounds like her man is cheating and she was raised to be a doormat and take care of the house and kids.

hijabae_ · 2021-03-04T16:04:06+00:00

MARRIAGE WORKS!!!!1!1! if you’re a doormat. this lady needs help

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-04T16:43:02+00:00

Nope. I stopped reading at 2. Thats slavery not marriage.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-03-04T15:37:22+00:00

My husband as the boss 🤮🤮🤮 I can't stand this approach to relationships. Equal decision making or nothing. I can't stand when people take away my right to make a decision.

donttextme_k · 2021-03-04T16:26:54+00:00

From my culture, the wife is the boss

featherflowers · 2021-03-04T17:02:12+00:00

Wait so she has to manage the household finances carefully, get him gifts with her own money, and he can do what he wants with his money??? But he is king??? I don't understand.

airhostess_inthe60s · 2021-03-04T18:19:16+00:00

So basically:

Wife
Mother - to him and their children
Maid
Cook and waitress
Personal assistant/errand girl
Financial planner
Psychoanalyst
Builder
Employee
Sex doll - and wtf is: "I know he won't be satisfied"

She's selling the dream!!

Pasdepromesses · 2021-03-04T22:59:16+00:00

So she gets treated like this and thinks we want to know how to endure this for 30 years?!

Yeah, miss me with that shit. I’m only interested in tips that tell me how to gtfo such a terrible marriage asap.

jargon_explosion · 2021-03-04T16:52:45+00:00

The whole thing is exhausting and gross, but I really laughed at "preparing his shower". How do you prepare a shower? You literally turn it on. It's not like a bath.

I would feel really embarrassed and infantilized if someone did all of this for me. I can turn on a faucet and put gas in my car, thanks.

overthinker4444 · 2021-03-04T16:06:42+00:00

So she is the Madonna in the house while her lvm husband cheats I guess. I would have trowed myself from a rock byeeeee

MariaDolorosa · 2021-03-04T21:33:42+00:00

Literally what is the point of doing all that anyway?

esthermaniii · 2021-03-05T13:12:25+00:00

This sounds like hell. I’ve noticed a lot of African women who are married share the same types of stories. It’s like they want us all to be miserable along with them.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-03-06T14:37:01+00:00

But what does she get out of all this?

WorkaholicParty · 2021-03-04T21:39:19+00:00

The way she describes her relationship with the gravitas of a JOB, a job she doesn't even get paid for and can't change once she finds a better deal is so amusing to me. She thinks for the marriage to work she must have no way out ~ NO EXIT PLAN, inviting late-stage capitalism to her own household.

This woman receives no sympathy for me because she's basically explaining to impressionable women how to get financially, emotionally, and sexually abused by a deified low-level idiot.

My husband as the boss 🤡

Men are like children 🤦‍♂️

Well, I see two reasons why you shouldn't sleep with your husband then. 🤡 🤡 🤡

dkwantsdk · 2021-03-05T08:57:46+00:00

But why? All this work for what?

2021-03-04T17:20:00+00:00

"make him want you. I know he won't be satisfied"

Is she hearing herself?????

7Cuervos · 2021-03-04T19:32:56+00:00

Its a no from me.

2021-03-07T06:18:31+00:00

That sounds like low key slavery and I was just on the second slide. I can’t even have the gaf to look through so much rules. My mind checked out when she viewed marriage as a job and he’s the boss. Actually jobs are already stressful and I’m sure AF ain’t living that at home

frogchickenhorse · 2021-03-04T18:22:53+00:00

Yuck

aquietsword · 2021-03-04T20:24:20+00:00

Mad yikes. How is this real?? I'm suspish.

SlightlyCapsized · 2021-03-05T02:38:10+00:00

What?! My husband is boss and my children my junior colleagues! Hahahaha

Sewud · 2021-03-05T08:45:53+00:00

They always forget the most important: the man must be quality. Yes everything will go fine if you do all this for him, if he is quality. But if you do all this for a man who doesn't deserve it, it won't get you anywhere. It's like you can brush your monkey every day and give it the best bananas and monkey shampoo, but if your monkey was a goldfish to begin with, he won't start climbing trees. So these women, if they found a good man, their list don't mean anything because it's not thanks to their list that the marriage works, it's because they found a good man.

basicbagels · 2021-03-05T15:18:09+00:00

She’s best friends with her “father in love” and her husband is close to the mom. Sounds toxic!

Title	Twirling for the patriarchy. More in comments
Author	MummyCroc
Upvotes	193
Comments	92
Date	March 4, 2021 10:10 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lxhbpr/twirling_for_the_patriarchy_more_in_comments/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/twirling-for-the-patriarchy-more-in-comments.749566 https://theredarchive.com/post/749566

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