Weekly FDS Chat, Check-in

TheOGJammies · 2021-08-03T19:38:10+00:00

Hi everyone - just wanted to post our updated social media links: https://linkin.bio/_thefemaledatingstrategy

Please join!!

Ok-Performance5997 · 2021-08-03T10:46:06+00:00

Would y’all FDS overlords consider developing QR code’s for the subreddit and/or website?? Maybe when we’re a bit larger, and the websites more established? Because I’d stick them in the women’s bathrooms at Uni 😆

throw_away_oranges · 2021-08-03T10:37:32+00:00

My goals for this month are effectively asking for space in my marriage without becoming irritable. I am also working on allowing people (especially my husband) to handle their own emotions and problems while I get my life in order. Writing this here for accountability.

Gambit12345 · 2021-08-03T11:58:20+00:00

So I wanted to practice fds principles in dating. A friend of mine had been inviting me out to dinner/activities. I had a slight crush on him before so I said yes. We went out 3 times. He paid for everything, showed high effort and other good signs. I even got to vet him sexually just by making out and taking note of how he touched me and how I felt about it and he respected me when I said I didn’t wish to go further. We had a talk about our goals which didn’t match. As I’d gotten to know him I realized he’s not quite what I want physically. I didn’t ghost him because we have mutual friends. He went on about how he wanted to date me seriously and he really liked me. All I did was show up as myself and allow him to lead. It was a refreshing experience.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-08-03T13:40:46+00:00

There’s another post on the front page of Reddit with lame ass men complaining their wives won’t fuck them.

No one thinks that the multiple studies showing women do more housework and emotional work affects women’s libidos?

What about the orgasm gap? No one questions these dudes if they even TRY to make their wife cum or be romantic?

Everyone in the comments just calls their wives horrible names because they have the audacity to decline sex, but ask for it later.

What the fuck is wrong with men?

pinkplatform · 2021-08-03T13:58:37+00:00

I'm starting my fitness journey (again lol), but this time i'm doing it for myself. FDS has taught me so much about working on myself FOR ME and i'm honestly super excited :)

honeybadgerattitude · 2021-08-03T13:49:28+00:00

There's an advert on UK tv at the moment for Numan, men's products and it really makes me laugh because it says they will do blood tests for ED and find out the cause if it's heart disease or diabetes. Because the only reason men would do anything about those major health issues is if it affects their peepees. By men, for men, telling men what they know about men. Hilarious!!

File-Own · 2021-08-03T16:56:03+00:00

Any other attractive women sick of the crap they get for it in public? As well as street harassment, the constant "negging" and insecurity from both pick-mes and triggered LVM.

I went on holiday over the weekend and to a part of the UK there aren't that many WOC. Besides being glared at and hearing the occasional bigoted comment, my appearance was regularly criticised - I'm very pretty lol (have been told that all the time and don't want for attention) and dress cutely, but had quite a few women/girls make every single nasty comment from "She's unfortunate looking" to trying to pick apart aspects of my fashion (including criticism of coloured jeans from a woman who looked like she was wearing 4 pounds of makeup and had awful bleached eyebrows). I don't think people's worth is based on how good they look but all the women who criticised my appearance were ugly too quite frankly. It's incredibly sad jealous women feel the need to talk like that.

Then I got back today, was walking down the street in a nice outfit minding my own business, past a group of distinctly unattractive guys, short and casually dressed. If I'm being blunt they looked below average. One of them said "That girl's cute" and another sniggered, "She's not my type." I laughed back, "weirdo," would have responded more but I was also passing a rowdy pub where I don't always feel safe. But it was weird, it was like me criticising a guy who's a millionaire for not earning enough lol.

Why do people always feel the need to try to "put down" attractive women? Wtf?

gingerandlime · 2021-08-03T14:59:36+00:00

Just feeling frustrated with myself. I’m definitely hung up on a guy I went on several nice dates with a month ago. I was so hopeful that not sleeping with dates too early would help me not do this, but clearly it doesn’t. Plus I find it hard to avoid a scarcity mindset when there don’t seem to be better options arising. Multi dating works really well for me, but when I can’t even find one person worth going out with… 🤷🏻‍♀️

At least I can be glad and proud I’m not stagnating in a relationship with someone who’s dragging me down. But now that I’ve had a taste of being properly dated, with reservations and confirmation ahead of time and interest in my comfort and enjoyment… I’m ready for more of that, and I hate feeling like I have to wait around for it to come across my path.

starlight_sequence · 2021-08-04T16:21:57+00:00

My boyfriend and I had our first date a few days before my birthday. I didn't tell him my birthday had passed until our third or fourth date. He definitely panicked when I told him, but I didn't really have any birthday expectations that early in the relationship.

We celebrated his birthday recently, and he decided that because we were technically dating over my birthday, he wanted to celebrate mine too. So we celebrated my birthday several months belated. He took me to prix fixe dinner-and-a-show, gave me a very thoughtful, handwritten card, gifted me a perfume I had mentioned liking, and the next day we went on a day trip to a city I used to live in to get my favorite pizza.

I am very, very happy.

Pistachio_Queen · 2021-08-04T02:40:57+00:00

Why isn’t anyone here talking about MGTOW getting banned today?? Is it against the rules to discuss? That place was a sexist shithole we should be celebrating!

Risoa · 2021-08-03T22:23:27+00:00

I got a massage last week and it was such a heavenly experience. I've never treated myself to one before and every second of it was blissful. Totally reccomend especially if you're single and feel like you're lacking on physical touch.

afrodeasyak · 2021-08-05T04:17:40+00:00

Getting older, libdo getting stronger, options of HVM seem nonexistent where I live so I continue staying single because I know what I deserve..its driving me nuts. I grew up in a society that glorifies marriage and although I'm grateful for my life and career, it's just, UGH. A short rant, thanks for tuning in.

laurencetrishburn · 2021-08-03T13:59:00+00:00

I’m definitely falling for a guy I’m talking to currently. Seems HV but he’s based in another city. I need to snap out of it right ladies?

Golden_Lavender · 2021-08-03T23:53:14+00:00

Almost finished with driving school just need to take the five hour class and test. Im nervous about that. I have an interview on monday and I hope i get the job but ill my eggs arent in a basket and I have a back up plan in case it falls through.

PsychologicalPay2353 · 2021-08-03T14:01:03+00:00

There was a post about how hard it is to find HVW friends. It hit me hard because I realized there's not many HVW either.

I've always had super high standards for friendships and wasted no time ghosting/blocking people who added no value in my life. Even when I was 13, I couldn't accept my friend using me as an excuse to her mother for going out with a guy she met the night before (who, mind you, was hitting on me initially, yet she felt the need to tell me to back off lol). I couldn't reject her (at least I naively thought), so I told her if she's not at place X by 10, I'm out. Of course she was late. For a good hour too. Considering our age, that was waaaaayy too late for us to be outside. And I wont lie to your poor mother (who already knew something was up). But hey, at least they dated for another 3 years. Of course, he replaced her within 2 weeks of breaking up.

I only have one HVW in my life and she is a total queen. Some guys even called her selfish in bed for making sure she always cums when having sex. Didn't stop them from begging for more tho.

GiraffeLibrarian · 2021-08-05T04:16:20+00:00

Beware of job exaggerations. I was chatting with a guy and asked him what his schooling was like, given his profile’s description and he said “lol that’s a bit of a stretch.” Think along the lines of a paramedic or an orderly saying they’re a resident surgeon. Fool didn’t even have a bachelor’s degree.

And yes, you do need a master’s “just to reshelve books.” 🙄

originallykoko · 2021-08-04T20:33:00+00:00

I'm proud of the journey I've been on these past few months. Therapy has been so helpful in me realizing my worth and standing up for myself. The LVM I was in a situationship with last year tried reaching out to me again last week. Block and delete and move the fuck on.

Currently focusing on building my strength and endurance, leveling up in my career, and hopefully moving out of this house (which is my house that I bought).

I'm celebrating the small wins in life. Only focusing on the positives.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-08-05T13:34:30+00:00

so... this is not big enough to write a post on it. so I will write here.

my ex... the scrotaceous scrote, the ugly vile STI infested scrote has contacted me yesterday - sent a message... at 18:18 "hi"

I do not block him. I do not answer his calls. I do not engage. I let him do his monkey dance.

and my reaction now that I see a reminder of that message is: this scrote is so predictable, he's abuser 101, I will never forget the bitter lesson I earned last year, the magnitude of his abuse of me and my trust, of me and my defenceless unconscious body... I don't honestly give a shit about him. he's just there, another dude that will never be replied to. that is trying "his shot", that thinks so little of me and thinks me so stupid and lovesick and broken and hurt and tragic - knowing the magnitude of the hurt he perpetrated against me - that again, thinks me lonely and "having hit the wall at 30"... that he tries his luck 12 months after?

he made this disgusting remark last year, one that I will never forget: "warmed up soup does not taste the same" (a saying in my native language). and cut me off, blocked me, left me hanging with my STI treatment and my abused heart.

so what the fuck is he doing, "coming back like a hungry dog enough to eat his own vomit?" (also a saying in my mother tongue - they're pretty nasty ones!)

and he's there. same picture, same number, same horrible communication skills.

and I let him underestimate me. Being underestimated is the best competitive advantage that I have. In any area.

It has propelled my career, it has given me better housing, it has put me in a better financial place, it has definitely changed the game in my friendships.

whiskey_and_oreos · 2021-08-04T15:46:40+00:00

Like a lot of women here, I'm trying to find new friends and one of my approaches has been BumbleBFF. Would someone with far more experience be up for making a guide post on red flags to watch for while vetting profiles and how to plan the initial meet up? 🙏🏻

I think once you've met in person it's easier to vet and build or downgrade the relationship but the early phases seem harder online than in person.

Interesting-Bat3992 · 2021-08-05T14:55:49+00:00

I find it wierd that when growing up (may not apply to everyone), most of the boys used to be "eww a girl" or "you ugly" or some other teenage/toddler mentality. So while the guys grew up making fun of and bullying girls, along with given the excuse "boys will be boys", girls were taught to look pretty and kind and nice to boys, otherwise we would not "have a future". I think this differnet standards of upbringing creates a sense of insecurity in girls, so as she grows up, she has a dichotomous teaching of catering to the male gaze on one hand while simultaneously feeling inadequate about her self worth due to the bullying she faces. Even toxic immature friend groups taught to focused on petty squabbles over beauty and attracting boys further solidifes her view that she should be seen as desirable to the other sex, and feel self conscious about how badly she treated by the aforementioned sex. It's a wierd confusing cycle. And she grows up, she gets exposed to shitty relationship advice, whcih lands her a scrote who abuses her, and she takes it because she believes HAS to keep a man, that they are in "true love", that she has to be "loyal" and a whole empire of other scrotic advice and demands of what she shoudl and shouldn't do. FDS is the only way to untangle the confusing mess and reteach her to have self respect, self worth and recognise the games these scrotes play.

aquietsword · 2021-08-04T07:05:45+00:00

Ok, so I apologize for even engaging with the Bachelor...it really feels like LV shit to watch it at this point, but I have to vent about the absolute ABSURDITY of the pickme behavior that's going on because of the last episode. It's like all the desperate libfem pickmes of the universe came together to defend this bland white man after he displayed MANY toxic AF behaviors on the episode. It's pretty fucked up.

_queeeen_ · 2021-08-05T22:40:51+00:00

I blocked the Not Single guy that had been pursuing me. It was a sexy and fun vetting adventure until he made it weird by… being Not Single and I found out. 💕

I_have_a_secret123 · 2021-08-06T04:21:48+00:00

This isn't FDS related as much, but i literally have 0 adult friends with responsibilities. I'm in their age group but they haven't caught up yet. So nowhere to ask this.

I am from an Asian country where parents take care of their kids, financially and otherwise, unlike the west. But not my mother, she expects me to give her money from my already low salary. I obliged, I give her around 30%. Then I'm expected to sort out my traveling and other expenses out of the rest.

My personal expenses are insanely low to the point where I haven't gotten myself a single thing since I started working. It makes me feel depressed and bleak. Moreover she keeps bullying me and taunts me on the fact that I am not contributing in the house as much as I should.

Even if it isn't a solution, I would like some support. I feel so hopeless.

honeybadgerattitude · 2021-08-04T13:42:27+00:00

Does anyone know what caused the ban in “that” subreddit? I’m hoping it was them discussing us. 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2021-08-06T01:39:45+00:00

Wondering if anyone wants to share what timelines you think are reasonable for when you meet someone IRL through shared activities. How long should a guy get to know you at the activity before expressing interest if he is genuine and acting high value? Versus when is too soon?

Adventurous_River_64 · 2021-08-04T18:42:53+00:00

So I know FDS advocates looking into a guys social media etc before starting dating. Would you ever tell someone that you did this in the future, like if you ended up getting into a serious relationship? I can’t help but feel that they’d be put off by it.

Interesting-Bat3992 · 2021-08-06T08:06:50+00:00

I just wanted to thank everyone who bravely trudges through the cesspool called preddit and take screenshots of comment threads and pointing out the redflags. I am currently focusing more on learning how to spot red flags, reading the handbook for the xth time, and reading the recommended books, and I am not yet prepared to actively venture out on my own and spot red flags out in the wild as I would like to first strengthen my foundations. Thank you FDS ❤

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-08-07T22:06:21+00:00

just thinking about how cute it is when little kids are out with one parent and they tell the parent they’re with to buy something for mum/dad too! never fails to make me smile 😩🥺

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ArugulaIsAwesome · 2021-08-07T17:07:39+00:00

Yesterday I had a male coworker say “Wow, you’re like a unicorn. How are you not married?”

I cackled and replied “Because I said no… twice.”

I never used to mention previous proposals from exes and now I find it incredibly empowering and it’s the perfect shut-them-up answer. 😎

rf-elaine · 2021-08-07T18:33:02+00:00

On vacation with my husband I decided to spend a day on my own at the Norwegian spa. You spend 20 min in a hot area (sauna, steam room, hot tub) then 1 min in a cold area (icy waterfall, cold shower, cold plunge) and then 30 min in a relaxation area (hammocks, chairs, beds, etc).

They had a very strict code of silence, which was confusing until I got there. There were young men, old men, fit men, fat men. And they all stared hungrily at the women. I was so glad they weren't allowed to talk to me. I'm sure without the code no women would show up.

warinmymind94 · 2021-08-08T02:34:07+00:00

When the weekends start watch how they all pull back and basically ignore you all weekend to see other people then flutter back "sorry I was tired" bs.

Yeah well I'm tired of the low effort/no effort and excuses. I expect effort and I make time to text people back especially family I care about and if I am actually interested in someone.

A lot have been ghosted as a result of trying to ignore me all weekend with excuses. Haha next.

finalbosskitten · 2021-08-09T17:41:18+00:00

Why do my comments keep getting deleted by a mod? It's freaking me out. I was asking if I broke a rule or if I was being too Pickme and...I kind of need to know so I don't do it again.

Title	Weekly FDS Chat, Check-in
Author	Unlikely-Marzipan
Upvotes	46
Comments	79
Date	August 3, 2021 9:29 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/owzv99/weekly_fds_chat_checkin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/weekly-fds-chat-check-in.796732 https://theredarchive.com/post/796732

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