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BrooklynBabe33
[–]NowTrulyFDS Newbie254 points255 points256 points 5 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Don’t throw hate at me, but I found it really reassuring to read “don’t use highway rest areas”.
I’ve done a lot of cross-country road trips in my life. I love driving, and I love seeing new places. I’ve gone everywhere with my dog. But if I ever got tired and needed to rest, or my dog needed a potty break in the middle of nowhere .... good LORD, what a stressful experience.
Those places literally look like the backdrop of a true crime show. I’d treat each bathroom like a Marine flushing out insurgents in Fallujah. I’d only walk my dog within sight of my car, constantly watching for shifty motherfuckers. And if I had to sleep, I’d only close my eyes for a few minutes, buckled up and ready to peel out in a moment’s notice. Some places, I’d just “nope” out without parking, trusting my gut with my life.
THAT SHIT’S EXHAUSTING.
As depressing as that state of affairs is (and it’s really fucking depressing) ... it’s genuinely affirming to see that I’m not alone with that.
[–]DallasOMalleyFDS Newbie96 points97 points98 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I hear ya.
The single guys traveling alone worry me the most - maybe he's a HVM going to visit his grandma, or maybe he's the next Bundy. If the place is relatively empty, I'll notice who's driving the cars, and try to time my restroom visit so I'm going in when another woman does, preferably a woman who also is also traveling alone or is traveling with a family. (A woman traveling with a man is probably safe, but I can't rule completely out the possibility that he's a threat, and she's a raging Pick Me who enables him. I know, that sounds nuts, but....)
If I need to take a snack break, I sit in my car and constantly scope out the parking lot, juuust in case someone comes up on my car. Cause I'm not opening the dang window or door for anyone, not even if their car died and their phone broke and someone's having a medical emergency. Sorry, but nope. Nope, nope, nope.
It's wayyyy too much stress for a 10 minute break.
[–]gcthwyFDS Newbie74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
There was a case like that, where a man and his wife kidnapped a girl and kept her in a box under their bed for years. He started abusing his wife with BDSM and when he asked her to help him kidnap this woman (she got in their van willingly because she trusted this nice family and their baby) she did it because she wanted him to someone else for a change.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidnapping_of_Colleen_Stan
[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice82 points83 points84 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
there's a movie like this too-an australian film. and don't get me started on my worst fear-the men that chain you up in their soundproof basements for 10 years. getting older plus=less chance of sex related kidnapping/torture/murder.
but men have it so hard cuz they....deal with rejection occasionally? will they ever realize how sick they are?
[–]NowTrulyFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn, watching “Girl in the Basement” just as I read this comment.
It goes from Disney to depraved in less than 20 minutes. And it’s on Lifetime. 😳 My skin is crawling.
Never heard of this case before. Now I do.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.oxygen.com/true-crime-buzz/josef-fritzl-case-reimagined-in-lifetimes-girl-in-the-basement%3famp
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I came here to talk about The Australian Outback - some dark stuff has happened there. People assume it’s safe because no one is around, but when you run into the wrong person it can go bad so quickly. And there’s many unsolved cases still, because people can just get away with it.
[–]Honestly_th0FDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I kinda had the feeling one of my previous landlords was up to something like this. Creepy guy who always kept his bedroom door locked, even going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Now I wish I had reported him to the police just so they could go check. At the time I thought I was overreacting.
[–]3lbsofjewelryFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am far too empathetic to be reading these kinds of stories, this is going to stay with me for days. Imagine being trapped inside of a box FOR YEARS. I want to cry, it's so terrible. :(
[–]Honestly_th0FDS Newbie95 points96 points97 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Also, FBI says that the number one profession for serial killers is truck driver since it’s so easy to pick up random victims, cross state lines, and avoid detection. Avoid ALL truckers.
[–]nymphaetamineFDS Disciple19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Rest stops at night are some of the scariest places ever. For a few years I lived one state away from my mom & sister and I'd make the 3 hour drive every month or so to visit them. Once I didn't get much sleep before leaving, and had no choice but to stop at the rest stop by the border about an hour into the trip cause I felt myself starting to nod off. I locked my doors and reclined my seat to take a nap for a few hours, and noticed there was a big dually truck with what looked like a horse trailer attached parked about 100 feet away from my car. Didn't see any people anywhere so I figured the truck's owner was probably napping too since it was probably around 11 or 12 at night.
I fell asleep pretty quickly but woke up with a start about 20 mins later with a strong sense of unease. I peeked out the windows- still no one around, but the truck looked a bit closer now. Weird, but I wrote it off as me just being tired and mis-estimating the distance before. Fell back asleep, but woke up again 15 mins later. Peeked out again, and the truck was now at least 50 feet closer to my car. No mistaking the distance this time, when I first parked it was far, now it was very close. It was no longer within the lines either, but parked with it's front end pointing directly at my car. I couldn't think of any non-murderer reasons why this truck would keep parking closer and closer to me so I booked it the F outta there.
Still freaks me out to this day and I won't stop at rest stops anymore unless I have other people with me.
[–]Davina33FDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bloody hell, this made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end! Thank goodness you got away!
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is terrifying. So glad you're okay!
[–]myeggsarebigFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I traveled across country by myself. I only took 20 min power naps with a knife in my hand. Men definitely don’t have that problem.
[–]wvsidnekeslthrowayFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m lucky. In my state we have some reaaaaallly nice rest stops. There are the freaky horror movie ones too, but those are not as common.
[–]HoldingMoonlightFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Usually whenever I need to make a bathroom break, I google the closest McDonald's, BK, Wendy's, etc. Super convenient, they're always right off an exit, usually not next to some sketchy woods, and it isn't a truck driver hang out.
[–]BrooklynBabe33FDS Newbie[S] 561 points562 points563 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Men ask why women are so pissed off, even guys with wives and daughters. Jackson Katz, a prominent social researcher, illustrates why. He's done it with hundreds of audiences:
"I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other. Then I ask just the men: What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they've been asked a trick question. The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter. Occasionally, a young a guy will raise his hand and say, 'I stay out of prison.' This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, 'Nothing. I don't think about it.' Then I ask the women the same question. What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands. As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine. Hold my keys as a potential weapon. Look in the back seat of the car before getting in. Carry a cell phone. Don't go jogging at night. Lock all the windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights. Be careful not to drink too much. Don't put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured. Own a big dog. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Have an unlisted phone number. Have a man's voice on my answering machine. Park in well-lit areas. Don't use parking garages. Don't get on elevators with only one man, or with a group of men. Vary my route home from work. Watch what I wear. Don't use highway rest areas. Use a home alarm system. Don't wear headphones when jogging. Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime. Don't take a first-floor apartment. Go out in groups. Own a firearm. Meet men on first dates in public places. Make sure to have a car or cab fare. Don't make eye contact with men on the street. Make assertive eye contact with men on the street.”
― Jackson Katz, The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help
(The first man to minor in women's studies at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, holds a master's degree from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, and a Ph.D. in cultural studies and education from UCLA.)
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie117 points118 points119 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow. Well, buying his book in paperback now. Proud to put revenue toward this.
[–]horrorqueen797FDS Newbie97 points98 points99 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Finally a male ally. I never dreamed I'd see one In my lifetime. Buying the book now 🌹
[–]horrorqueen797FDS Newbie57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ladies it's free to download on pdfdrive! I'm sorry I don't know how to link.
[–]ThesociodarkFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Link :)
[–]Awkward-Plane-6617FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t forget Lundy Bancroft!
[–]XRozeFDS Newbie74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
omg this is where I majored in women's studies!!!! this makes me so proud
[–]classic_falafelFDS Newbie391 points392 points393 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
This reminds me so much of:
What would you do if you were alone on earth for one day? Women--> Taking a nice long walk through the park at night.
And Parking Garages are my nightmare. Quite similar to waiting at night at railroad crossings.
[–]ChocoPie998FDS Newbie176 points177 points178 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same! I would really love to just sleep outside in the open on a summer night, if only it were safe to do so
[–]NowTrulyFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Wait, what’s wrong with waiting at night at railroad crossings?
(Serious question.)
[–]MissCandidFDS Newbie62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
There's often a median right there, so if you're too close to the tracks you could get boxed in. So the idea is that you pull up to a railroad crossing, concrete median to your left, and if a car pulls up behind you they could get out and come get ya.
[–]NowTrulyFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
GODDAMN.
What’s the strategy for something like that?
[–]MissCandidFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Preventative usually- don't pull all the way up to the train tracks, make sure you have a route out if something happens.
Worst case scenario, put it in reverse and try to push their car out of the way. If you can't move their car, try to run them over.
If you're asking what the aggressors strategy would be, I have no clue what the goal is. Maybe robbery?
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a good idea to always have an out when you're driving, regardless of who you are or where you are.
Maybe it's something I picked up from years of motorcycling, maybe because I've been rear-ended a few times (always 100% the other driver's fault!), but always leave your vehicle enough space for emergency maneuvering, whether you're moving or stopped.
And never be afraid to hit a person/vehicle who means you harm. The things we do to "protect" our cars while opening ourselves to damage is...well, it's a notion a lot of us need to overcome.
[–]ithastobenewThrowaway Account13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I might just be naive and not thinking through each possibility, but I imagine it would be super easy to just... push somebody on the tracks. And the train is loud. That's also why I have issues with the college "scream time" where everybody screams at the same time. I hope op responds the issue as I want to learn more ways to be safe
[–]OnlyPaperListensFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're easy to box in. Cars can come up behind you.
[–]stateofdekayy26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Growing up there was a girl murdered in my hometown. She was following her boyfriend home from a basketball game and his car made I across the tracks before the arms went down. She didn't. I'll save the details but they found her body several days later so needless to say I have been locking my car doors first thing since I was 16.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is so terribly sad.
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie73 points74 points75 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Omg. I would travel. So many countries where solo travel for a tall blonde gal isn’t the safest. Maybe do a blog or other social media to try to monetize solo travel a bit. I feel so limited by my gender when it comes to solo travel.
[–]jargon_explosionFDS Newbie237 points238 points239 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Women are also hypervigilant of their surroundings, especially when alone. I listen for footsteps approaching or speeding up behind me. Watch for shadows. Look for feet or signs of someone hiding. Switch sides of the street if I feel like someone is too close behind me or has been behind me for a while. Watch men's hands when they pass me. Etc. And this is all when I don't even feel afraid.
You can call us paranoid but I always trust my gut. Pretty sure it's saved my life or at the very least saved me from being stalked or assaulted. Once I felt like I was being followed and even though a part of me thought I was being crazy, I trusted my instincts and sure enough I was being followed by a guy who had asked my friend out on a date and whom I had just met because a group of us went with her to meet him. After we all went our separate ways he decided that he would follow me home to get to know me.
[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie90 points91 points92 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true. When I lived alone in a big city, I was constantly expecting danger from men. My anxiety was so extreme I had to move back home. Men would always talk to me when I walked alone, especially drunks, junkies and homelesses, and I was so scared they're gonna hurt me. It happened so many times. A man was wanking in front of me in a bus. Even now, when I walk alone and am about to pass a man, I automatically wanna cross the street. And if it's a group of men I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack. It's horrible.
[–]huevos_and_whiskeyFDS Newbie61 points62 points63 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Adding: check the reflection in storefronts to see if someone is following without alerting them that I know they’re there.
[–]cantsextihavebillsPickmeisha™️22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it's better to let them know. Most predators use the element of surprise and anonymity. Looking them directly in the eyes lets them know you're aware.
[–]Jaganshi_Shizuko9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg yes!! Or use the shadows (depending on the time of day) to subtly make sure they are not following/getting too close. I've also done this with my phone's front facing camera before and just pretended to be checking my appearance real quick.
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh I can tell you it’s definitely saved your life, even if your examples are vague. It’s explicitly saved mine.
[–]ChocoPie998FDS Newbie182 points183 points184 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
BuT MeN cAn bE sExuALly AsSauLteD toO
Of course that’s true, and it’s awful when anyone is assaulted regardless of gender, but it’s funny how most men only bring that up when women are talking about their experiences. The risk of sexual assault doesn’t permeate their everyday lives the way it does for us, yet scrotes want to make it all about themselves (like usual)
[–]angrybaijaFDS Newbie71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
yes. by whom, overwhelmingly?
[–]Take_your_best_shot40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly, has anyone ever heard about a roaming pack of women who go hunting for men to rape? Anyone? And here we have men making jokes about gang rape, and it becomes part of the lexicon describing frat "boys".
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. I was at my exes house on one of our first dates (before FDS) and there was a rustling in the bush at his house. I whipped my head around and he joked “come out boys” as if his mates were hiding in the bush. It was just a joke but my blood went cold at the time. Later that night he did physically/ sexually assault me. This isn’t an uncommon story unfortunately. But you can guarantee he had no qualms about whether he was safe with me or not. He didn’t even have to consider it. His energy was probably going in to what he was going to do.
[–]Dexaroo5716FDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Other scrotes, religious scrotes, and prison scrotes. And any scrote with political power.
[–]ChocoPie998FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for bringing that up, good point!
[–]horrorqueen797FDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm sorry but this really angers me. Not you sis, that line, especially when uttered by a man.
I was looking at the percentage yesterday. Men make up 39 percent of sexual assault cases which means men are PERPETRATING 61 percent.
Not fucking good enough.
Ladies if you are ever attacked. Scratch him. And make sure you open him and get his skin under your nails or his hair if it's long enough to pull out ... Then fight as hard as you can with EVERYTHING you've got.
Makes me want to study law just to bring these MF down.
[–]foxfaebaeFDS Newbie93 points94 points95 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Make three left turns if you think someone is following you. Then you know for sure
[–]DallasOMalleyFDS Newbie79 points80 points81 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not only am I angry that I have to do these things, I'm angry that living like this feels normal.
[–]karabnpFDS Newbie40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It’s EXHAUSTING.😒
I’m exhausted after reading that.😒
[–]AsizellaThrowaway Account38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm exhausted thinking about the number of times I've told men this exact same thing, with their response always being dumbfounded, then followed with defensive comments about how they're not that "kind of guy." Making it about him and completely missing the point.
[–]karabnpFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
YES. THIS.💯
They completely disassociate themselves from our every day reality and remain in their denial of it, at the expense of ALL of us girls/women.😒
They’re just as much a part of the problem, and why this shit still is a problem in our society. If you DO NOTHING to address/stop it, you’re ENABLING it.
[–]BrooklynBabe33FDS Newbie[S] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes I’ve been exhausted since I hit puberty
[–]strcrssdvoyagerFDS Newbie83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I didn't start making sure my car doors were locked until maybe 2018 when I parked my car in a grocery store parking lot, started putting on chapstick because I didn't want to grocery shop with dry ass lips and a man walked up to my passenger side door, bent down and peeked into my fucking window. I made eye contact with him and he quickly walked away.
What. The. Fuck. Men?
[–]XRozeFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
man im so paranoid about locking my car doors. i race to lock them as soon as I get inside and i have my car key ready to lock them as soon as i get out.
it feels good to know im not the only woman who checks the backseats too. ive seen way too many creepy true crime shows.
[–]woadskyFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
When I was in my 20s I pulled into a highway rest area and a guy approached my car and proceeded to try to open my driver's side door! I think he thought I was having car trouble but omg. Thank goodness I had already locked the door. I simply drove away.
Another time more recently I got into my car and left the door open while I turned right to fasten the seatbelt. Within that second some random guy was right there saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" I think he wanted money. I slammed the door shut, locked it, and drove away.
Final story: Same parking lot (it was a sketchy area). I arrived home and started to walk away from my car. A black female approached me and asked me if I could jump her car. She was with a male companion. I declined and started walking home, thought better of it and turned and walked back to help her. She was furious and started yelling at me. I think she thought I was being racist or unhelpful, but I was looking out for my safety. I said something to the guy and he seemed understanding. I felt angry with her for her tirade though didn't say anything; lady, don't approach a single woman for help in a sketchy neighborhood!!! This was an active parking lot and all they had to do was wait five minutes for some guy to come out to his car and ask him.
[–]fogplumFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I remember waiting in the car once when I was a teen and my mom was grocery shopping. A man came up to my window, knocked on the glass, and smiled at me. I wasn't that scared because he was with his wife and baby but wtf. Why was that necessary.
I learned to lock my car doors in one swift motion as I'm closing the door - so first lock, then close, in less than half a second. I also lock it as soon as I put it in park, until I'm ready to get out.
[–]woadskyFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That was so weird of that guy. It's as if he thinks he can dominate the situation because you were female and a teenager.
If I don't lock my car doors when I first drive away from home, I've learned to auto-lock the car doors when it's noisy. For instance, if a group of men is walking on the sidewalk but there's no traffic I probably wouldn't lock them in that instance because it would be so obvious....they could hear me do it. It might invite anger and trouble. Of course in an emergency I would. Now I anticipate where the noise will drown out the sound of the locks and lock the car before approaching a sketchy person on the sidewalk.
[–][deleted] 57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
To also add I have to admit I dress down most of the time in public so I won't be harassed by creepy men especially when I know I have to take the bus.
[–]PrettyPoppingFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t take the bus because of men and it’s horribly inefficient.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It is, but I'm saving up for a car so I usually take the bus because I work in the daytime.
[–]PrettyPoppingFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ah okay. I hope you get a nice car soon.
[–]SimpellaThrowaway Account12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a girl with very noticeable features, I'm called out no matter what I wear. I used to get sent down to the office in highschool for wearing sweatpants. LITERAL SWEATPANTS. Apparently it made my ass stand out?????
[–]stateofdekayy11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When I was in my early 20s I went through a huge tattoo phase and have two full sleeves several large leg pieces . . I have grown to regret them so much, not because I don’t love the artwork, but because of how much attention I get in the summer that I always end up wearing way more clothes than needed.
[–]intergalacticanon44FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. I hate the summer because all I want is to wear clothing that is weather-appropriate but often times those said clothes are revealing af and it makes me feel unsafe.
[–]Ketolove604FDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep, and I heard "don't park beside vans" the other day.
[–]asoulwhoseintentionsFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
What’s wrong with first floor apartments? That’s what I usually choose for convenience. But I guess they get broken into more?
[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie95 points96 points97 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This, and it's also easier to watch you from the outside.
[–]asoulwhoseintentionsFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh, ew. True
[–]Affectionate-Cut-460FDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I always want a one floor house but I'm terrified of it being broken into
[–]Davina33FDS Disciple36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They are easier to get into. Thing is I have arthritis and osteoporosis, so I need a ground floor apartment really.
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
People can get in any windows you leave open or unlocked. Happened to a relative.
[–]sacchilaxFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I didn’t even realize the eye contact thing was a thing. But I DEFINITELY DON’T do it. I make SURE to make eye contact with men on the street. To say “I see you AND I can identify you”.
I’ve found that making that eye contact makes people back away. 🤷🏾♀️
[–]cantsextihavebillsPickmeisha™️18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I avoid eye contact with general men, but if I'm alone & there are like one or two guys around that I feel shifty about I'll make sure to meet eyes so they know I'm aware of them.
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I remember asking my boyfriend if he really couldn't think of any reasons why a woman might not like to walk alone at night.
[–]illuminatedkopf21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
For those who live on first story apartments/homes; Get a metal door bar, it props up underneath the door handle. Ive got one on every door, and theyre $20 at Walmart for extra peace of mind. Also tinted window coverings or blurring ones that let light thru only. Get cans of wasp spray, it sprays long distance and is blinding. Leave boots or "beware of dog" signs by your window or door. Keep safe out there 🙏
[–]Davina33FDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am definitely buying glass tinting film, net curtains on top and then blackout curtains on top of that.
[–]ughnah17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I had this debate with my friend who is a male but gay. He doesn’t agree with me and say things like “but men get sexual assault too” and go as far as “well have you been sexual assaulted before?” “Not every female get assaulted anyway” and I told him about an experience where I was hesitate to say no to sex bc I felt like I was obligated to do so since we already started.. and sometime I look back and wish I’ve never finished the sex. And he was like “see because you didn’t say anything so that’s how you might ended up getting rape anyways” and it was just WOW!! I couldn’t believe that came out of his mouth. He is not even straight. And he believes men and women are always equal.
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lack of empathy right there. A man is a man is a man.
[–]Affectionate-Cut-460FDS Newbie53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The elevator one is fuckung real... when I lived in an apartment and I would go home late from work, for some reason, I would always end up in an elevator alone woth a man going up to my apartment. They'd either try to talk to me or be silent until I get off and then they say "have a nice night" fucking predators, immediately makes me feel like I'm powerless and fear for my life
[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This one night when I was walking home from a bus stop, I had TWO grown ass men say hi to me. Now it’s almost 10pm, why do you need to say hi to a 20 something year old girl at night?
[–]Pudge_thefish10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This really messed me up only because I’m seeing these all typed out. Like in my head I know to do all of those things, because it’s just second nature, but to see ALL OF THESE written down...fuck.
[–]bklyn4everFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🤦🏽♀️The accuracy
[–]ugly-princessFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I live in a large city and there's an app that alerts me every time there is a cop called to an area within a couple miles from me. They give a description of the incident and other information. I see 'woman with pepper spray' show up a lot, and I'm terrified someone passing by my house will notice my pepper spray on my house keys and call the police on me because they notice I have a weapon. It's my only form of defense.
I used to keep one spray in every bag I use but my boyfriend begged me to put it on my house keys for ease of access. Even when he leaves the house with me, especially at night he asks me if I have it.
Almost came in handy last week when I was catcalled waiting for my food outside a Chinese place because I made eye contact with him while checking my surroundings.....at like noon on a Friday. I hate that I can say my pepper spray is useful and comforts me.
[–]fitnurse6FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I went on a date with a new guy and would bring my drink to the bathroom with me. He thought that was so odd. When I told him I’ve been drugged not once, but twice... idk I really hope that made him think.
[–]Davina33FDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This reminds me. I went out clubbing with a friend in 2012. I tried to take my drink to the toilet with me but a bouncer stopped me. When I explained the danger of being drugged he started laughing and said "I'm all out of Rohypnol love". Piece of shit. So I had to throw away that drink which was still full. I've had my drink spiked in the past, so I wasn't going to take any chances ever again.
[–]mtan15FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This thread is just reminding about time after time I've had to deal with this stuff, but this one makes me sick to my stomach. I was 6 months pregnant and grocery shopping and this guy just couldn't hide the fact he was watching me and was creepy and just happened to be around every corner i was. I didn't stop seeing him and then he checked out right at the same time so I went as fast as I could to my car and locked the door and sure enough, within a minute he's flapping his arms at me waving a $5 note, telling me I dropped it. I paid with a credit card. He proceeded to tell me to just open the window and he'll give it to me. He was so persistent. Not a chance bud... I'll never forget it
[–]intergalacticanon44FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That sounds so scary omg I’m glad you’re okay. The way he tried to lure you out of your car...
[–]mtan15FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah... what exactly he wanted terrifies me to think about.
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
and even when we remember to do all of those things they still find a way to blame it on us. We are forever being compared to the image of a perfect victim and our lived experience is invalidated when we don't match up with that image
[–]RadioactiveLandfills7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And pumping gas, I always look over my shoulder
[–]AlexxyaKatPickmeisha™️8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
But men aRE MoRe frEQUenTLy a vIcTIm of a CrIMe !!1!
/s
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
....committed by other men!
[–]AlexxyaKatPickmeisha™️10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Somehow that parts always escapes them, almost as if they’re not as logical as they claim to be
[–]horrorqueen797FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've never personally had a problem with pdfdrive it's always worked great for me 🌹
[–]misohappie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's sad that we have to watch out so many things to be safe....
[–]soundslikeautumnFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is the most important topic we discuss on this sub. Whenever a post like this pops about about women's safety measures that we MUST take in this world I always send the post to other women in my life or talk about it with them We can never be too safe, ladies.
[–]BrooklynBabe33FDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly because not all women are taught safety measures
[–]MiaWallace995FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would drive to my office (40+km everyday, on a scooter) in all black clothing. When i returned at night i would always make sure to look and drive like a man. Always pants, a jacket, shoes and full face helmet. Would never dress in feminine/ethnic clothing (they're already a hassle while driving but, more with creepy ass men staring).
[–]intergalacticanon44FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I almost missed my bus to work today because I had to slow down as I thought a man was following me.
[–]hijabae_Throwaway Account5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This makes me feel sick
[–]Colorful_Dreamer4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is heartbreaking
[–]WhoopassDietFDS Newbie[🍰] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I only do a hand full of these.
Of course I carry a cell phone, and lock my doors and windows with double lock, everyone should. I don't wear headphones outside because i prefer not to get run over.
And of course none of the 90s stuff applies, who even has a landline or an answering machine? Cabs take cards, so I guess I always have cab fare?
Am I living dangerously or am I just horribly privileged?
Always carry cash just in case. Substitute voicemail for landline, then. I use the default voicemail message that just says you have reached “phone number”. It’s actually not a bad idea to have a landline - cell phones go out but that’s up to you.
[–]PrettyPoppingFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
What’s up with parking garages? My school mainly has those.
[–]fogplumFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Parking garages are creepy. They're usually dimly lit and no one can see from outside what's happening inside, unlike an open air parking lot.
[–]PrettyPoppingFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Oh mine are lit and have some cameras.
[–]fogplumFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
That's better at least. I always think about what happened to Ruth George when I'm in a dimly lit parking garage. It's safer during the day of course, but I've also heard of several carjackings in parking garages in the middle of the day.
[–]PrettyPoppingFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm already con el estress so I won't look her up rn.
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m gonna start using this phrase thank you.
[–]PrettyPoppingFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're welcome. It's my rip off of where the money resides.
[–]XRozeFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
holy shit i just looked up that story. i fucking hate men so much. she was only 19 :( and this piece of shit gets to live while she doesn't.
[–]NotUrAverageBooFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Are you sure the cameras work? Not all cameras are connected and often aren’t being saved anywhere if they are. often not manned either. A lot can happen in 5 minutes.
[–]WhoopassDietFDS Newbie[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dimly lit? All the parking garages here could double as movie sets with how many lights and cameras there are. Meanwhile, the open air lots have like a lightpole every 200m
Quite a few of these seem like they're very much American things, or maybe I just live in a huge bubble...
[–]FabulousLemon16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
A friend of mine was car jacked and kidnapped in a parking garage by people who were trying to get into a gang. They stopped her at gun point as she was walking to her Mustang and made her give them the keys and get into the trunk. She was on a national morning news/talk show afterwards teaching people to get to know their cars, she had read the manual and knew about the trunk release latch inside and used it to open the trunk and jump out and run for safety when they slowed down at a speed bump or a stop. It was more than ten years ago so my memory is a little fuzzy, but it was really terrifying to learn about. There was another car driving behind them and she looked to see if they would help her after she escaped from the trunk, but they followed the Mustang and were clearly accomplices. I rode with her in that car when I was pregnant, so it hits really close to home that it happened to my friend and in a car I have personally been in.
[–]lvoncreekFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What is wrong with first floor apartments?
[–]capresesalad1985FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just got a frenchie and I feel so unsafe walking him at any time without my bf
[+]AnanorielFDS Newbie-19 points-18 points-17 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
"Own a firearm"
Wat. Isn't that way too much?
[–]AudacityofToadsFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
People may disagree with me, but I'm all for women owning firearms. As long as they follow the laws, have proper practice and training, and are of sound mind I see no issue. I personally don't want the responsibility of gun ownership, but if I lived alone or in a dangerous area, I would consider keeping something next to me while I slept.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]LuciannaVampFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If you are looking for information on firearms training I would suggest Wethefemale. They are a group that focus alot on female gun training for safety and protection. @WeTheFemale is their insta handle.
[–]XRozeFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
thank you for this tip!!
[–]Dexaroo5716FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s an excellent equalizer. A 250 lb man drops quite easily when shot in the face. If he knocks you out when you try to use your hands to fight back he can do whatever he wants while you’re unconscious. Putting distance between you and your attacker is essential. If they have their own weapon as well. Women are particularly good at shooting when trained. We also make better surgeons. The intricate hand movements, patience and attention to detail we possess can be an asset in all sorts of ways. We are just conditioned to use them for men’s benefit. Now it’s time to cultivate them for our own. 💪🏼
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It’s only scary when someone buys one and doesn’t do the upkeep. You have to go to the range, practice at least monthly, clean the gun, keep the ammo stocked, have It where it can help you if you’re attacked or broken into.
If that’s too much, I’ve steered friends toward stun guns and tasers. They come in a lot of small packages and a misfire is less likely to murder someone or hit your child in your own home.
[–]Legal_Cat762210 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Men owning guns: "yeah I use it to shoot"
Women owning guns "make sure you maintain the maximum safety standards for the gun by doing a, b, c, d, e ..."
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you don’t get the magazine in and take the safety off - when your adrenaline’s pumping and you’re nervous - what good does it do you? If your attacker grabs the gun out of your hands, what good does it do you? If your gun misfires because you haven’t maintained it, what good does it do you?
Of course you want gun use to be second nature long before you’re in a life or death situation. No one is suggesting men who buy guns do anything differently.
It’s not a magical piece of magic that Magics you out of a bad situation by magically existing in the same room.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
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