Do you agree with these ways to increase relationship satisfaction?

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2024-11-21T02:33:06+00:00

All of these things seem pretty obvious to me

MongoBobalossus · 2024-11-21T02:39:16+00:00

These all seem pretty straightforward and align with what the successful couples I know are doing.

Me and my lady try to hit most of these routinely.

WastedRadiance · 2024-11-21T09:02:03+00:00

People really underestimate the power of #3. It’s so important to have your own hobbies, friendships and goals, even your own space. Little things like your own nightstand or bathroom drawer. Maintaining an independent existence is healthy for all of us and it’s easy to lose that in relationships

RoseyButterflies · 2024-11-21T08:12:50+00:00

Agree but I will say this is not a fix for general larger incompatibility issues.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-11-21T02:20:36+00:00

I agree completely, and I’ve said the same thing without a study.

If men continued to behave the same way they do when courting and trying to win a woman over, marriages would last and couples would have more sex, more affection, and a deeper bond.

fredwester · 2024-11-21T10:46:43+00:00

Yes, I agree. These all seem incredibly obvious to me. I practice all of them, and I'd say they're part of the reason I have such a happy marriage.

The ones she values most is emotional gestures and material gestures. Emotional - me always being emotionally present to listen to her problems and give advice/empathy. Material - planning engaging dates, meal prepping for her work week, buying her random little things I see that she might like.

The one I value most is respecting personal space. I like to do things solo, and need more alone time than most. She gets that and doesn't smother me.

griii2 · 2024-11-21T12:18:45+00:00

I agree, but this is a kind of truism. Nothing to debate here.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-11-21T12:19:38+00:00

It's baseline and should be obvious for everybody.

SoulVaccinations · 2024-11-21T18:10:10+00:00

I agree but one thing not explicitly stated is that BOTH partners need to do these things.

You can’t expect all that without reciprocating from time to time, or without being the first one to start that positive cycle.

Termodynamicslad · 2024-11-21T11:12:02+00:00

All of this is obvious, the hard part is accomplishing this.

Has a very common problem, often parents don't like their in laws and vice-versa, not something you can control.
Kids will throw this into disarray.
Men and women have different priorities and frequency goals in this.
Tolerance of what consists lack of time for yourself and neglect of the relationship differ
Some people don't do chores, some people don't have financial responsability
Men and women have different priorities and frequency goals in this.

Its asinine to say that these stretegies, which are common sense, are wrong, the theory was never the problem.

mashedturnip · 2024-11-21T04:21:52+00:00

It depends on what your relationship is deficient in

For me, we just kind of, yanno, talk specifically about what we need at the time it’s relevant

JKnotrealy · 2024-11-21T02:59:41+00:00

All these seem to be no brainers.

I am saying this as the hatefull incel that I am.

That being said, why would any man or woman do this in the begining if a relationship?

Women certainly disdain giving away "wife benefits" to boyfriends

S0yslut · 2024-11-21T02:44:14+00:00

Absolutely and I was subconsciously looking for those things being present in my relationships to qualify them to be my husband.

In my marriage we practice all of these things. We praise each other, do things for each other, help our families, have shared interests and we just have sex whenever we want.

When I notice peoples relationships failing they often are lacking in these things. Especially common interests/shared activities.

bluestjuice · 2024-11-21T02:44:32+00:00

These tactics make sense and I would agree that they are probably quite effective.

I’m really interested in why people do less and less of this stuff over time in a LTR. I don’t think it’s entirely or automatically due to laziness — I think there’s a certain exciting insecurity that comes with the early relationship phase where you want to go to lengths to impress the other, and that the relationship growing in security means less of the intentional ‘extra’ effort expenditure. But I also think a lot of the early relationship behaviors are intrinsically motivating to the person performing them, and that they don’t notice the drop-off in behaviors because in many cases they weren’t making an intentional conscious effort to perform those behaviors in the first place. The decline in behaviors feels equivalently effortful over time, where keeping up the level of behaviors requires a higher effort expenditure over time.

I don’t have any clear answers that haven’t been said by a million couples therapists, and maybe it isn’t even a direct response to the article, but it’s an interesting topic, for sure.

Inomaker · 2024-11-21T03:09:21+00:00

I'm married and 3 and 5 have been very important for my relationship. 6 is pretty much non-existent and I couldn't care less. 1, 2, and 4 just seem like givens for a relationship in general. But 3 and 5 seem more like conscious efforts.

RelevantJackWhite · 2024-11-21T03:18:44+00:00

All of these things have improved my relationship, yes.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-11-21T11:38:28+00:00

4 solves for a lot of problems.

Shoddy_Count8248 · 2024-11-21T18:28:51+00:00

We do all of those although 5 is something we have to make an overt attempt at since both my H and I are introverted and independent.

Xeltar · 2024-11-21T18:55:18+00:00

Yes! How often do you hear "I wish they were the person when we first met?"

Throwaway26702008 · 2024-11-21T20:09:56+00:00

These are all obvious to anyone who isnt a bad person or extremely new to dating/clingy.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2024-11-22T00:57:39+00:00

If a woman feels the man isn't doing his fair share and becomes resentful, that will tend to kill the sex. It may not actually drop raw attraction, but she will override that.

Nevertheless, there is an innate tension in women between what they find comfortable and what they find hot. That needs to be addressed better. You need her comfortable enough, but if you spend too much time together, or things get so buddy buddy, then often the desire drops. TRP is right about this in theory, as a general observation. Many TRP content providers get a lot of the details wrong, though, especially what you should do about it.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2024-11-22T14:32:01+00:00

Emotional gestures: compliments, emotional support, being present and responsive to your partner's emotional needs.

Sure

Material gestures: doing chores, financial planning, preparing gifts, leaving love notes, planning dates.

Mostly nah

Respecting personal space: a healthy balance of intimacy and independence.

Neutral because that can be framed in multiple ways

Prioritizing physical intimacy: physical affection, making time to connect physically, being open about your sexual needs and desires.

Nah because it's supposed to come out physically, no being a chore

Engaging in shared activities: a weekend trip, cooking together, starting a new hobby.

Neutral because you should have shared interests beforehand

Helping your partner's friends and family

Neutral

purplish_possum · 2024-11-22T21:22:32+00:00

I had a GF who used to leave love notes everywhere. I'd have to sweep my apparrtment every time she left so my other GF wouldn't find them.

purplish_possum · 2024-11-22T21:24:03+00:00

Being an agreeable simp doesn't make women wet.

CherryPieAlibi · 2024-12-10T07:29:01+00:00

Is this not what everyone’s already doing? Thought this was just common sense lol

flipsidetroll · 2024-11-21T08:50:07+00:00

They needed a study to tell people how to be a likeable human to their partners? Essentially it’s a different wording of love languages and how to support each other when you need it. Are people so dumbed down nowadays that they don’t know these things?

People, this is not rocket science. Understand that everyone is different. We all have different love languages, and that giving your love language, means you might receive a different love language back. It doesn’t mean they are neglecting you, it means those are the ones they have and give.

Bullshit ideologies like trp, do nothing except make people hyper vigilant and super selfish. And it uses repetition to brain wash. It doesn’t even use stoicism correctly. I guarantee that if men here actively spent as much time researching information and watching videos that debunk everything about trp, they would see how it tricked them to believe something. If you spent 5 years watching redpill content and then only watched anti redpill content for 5 years, they would be shocked at the damage it does.

t_krett · 2024-11-21T05:45:14+00:00

"Study finds all happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

Aware-Resolve6740 · 2024-11-21T05:27:04+00:00

I think like many happy relationships me and my gf don’t keep score when it comes to gestures, it’s genuine because we care about one another.

I’d say 4 and 5 are the big ones we prioritize a lot if i had to pick a couple. She often can’t keep her hands off me when we’re out running errands and vice versa which is fun foreplay. We both love to cook and try to hike every weekend given we live in a rural area.

We’ve been together since the end of HS and all through undergrad and grad school. We graduated together and essentially grew up together which was great in my eyes. All in all, I think your list is great.

UpstairsAd1235 · 2024-11-21T11:40:32+00:00

LMAO This looks like a list of what women think "men should do" for them 💀. Yeah, healthy?... My ass LOL

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Title	Do you agree with these ways to increase relationship satisfaction?
Author	EulenWatcher
Upvotes	17
Comments	160
Date	November 21, 2024 2:18 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1gw5dmi/do_you_agree_with_these_ways_to_increase/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-agree-with-these-ways-to-increase.1536410 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536410

Comments

4 solves for a lot of problems.